icheoku: WWE UMAGA, DIES OF HEART-ATTACK!

DUTCH, WHEN A CHAMPION SETTLES FOR THIRD PLACE?

Icheoku said it before and will say it again - Netherlands would have gone all the way to clinch the cup but for FIFA intervention and Icheoku stands to be corrected on this. Today they proved once again that they had the stuff champions are made of with their routing of host Brazil 3-0 and you wonder what a beautiful World Cup finals it would have been against Germany had FIFA's machination not so cruelly intervened. Anyway, their consolatory third place is not one of such cases where a half loaf is better than no loaf for Icheoku; and as a result Icheoku is not satisfied. The Dutch has been and remained Icheoku's favorite throughout the tournament and Icheoku will continue to believe they were forced out of the finals and no opinion can persuade otherwise. So long FIFA World Cup Brazil 2004 championship until Russia 2018; admitted Icheoku will tune in tomorrow to see how the finals is rigged. Congratulations Netherlanders, Ciao!

DUTCH LOSS, REGRETTABLE.

Icheoku says unfortunately we missed the mark and for this we are indeed very sorry for projecting a Netherlands win over Argentina as well as in the finals against Germany. Why the Dutch coach Louis Van Gaal did not bring in his penalty-kicks best keeping goalie, Tim Kral, is beyond everyone's imagination. What is done is done and the coach has his conscience to worry about on the real reason behind the unthinkable. Icheoku griefs the Dutch loss as avoidable. You may please scroll down to page one to read further analysis.

NETHERLANDS V. GERMANY - FIFA WORLD CUP 2014 FINALS?

In the future of the FIFA World Cup 2014 championship holding in Brazil, Icheoku sees an all European championship final between Netherlands and Germany. Germany will defeat Brazil and Netherlands will defeat Messi and his boys during the semi finals resulting in an all European meet in the finals; following which Netherlands will emerge victorious. Icheoku remains steadfast in our projection that the Orange guys will carry the golden cup this 2014 and there is NO SHAKING in our conviction. Go DUTCH!

GUITAR HERO, NIGERIA GUITAR PLAYING PRESIDENT.

Icheoku says President Bill Clinton played the saxophone; President GW Bush played and danced to the beat of African drums; President Barack Obama sang Al Green's Lets Stay Together; President Olusegun Obasanjo danced PSY's Gangnam Style; and even Madam Secretary of State Albright danced to Macarena and the other Madam Secretary of State Hillary Clinton also danced some South African tunes too. Now President Goodluck Jonathan of Nigeria just strung the guitar. Icheoku says whats up with all these presidents showing us the lighter side of themselves and displaying inert talents which duties of the state had somehow made redundant. Icheoku says the world especially Nigerians can use the million Naira smile on their President Jonathan's face. A country almost over-heating from stress of every kind can sure find some uplifting from their smiley president. Icheoku says GOOD for the country.

VLADIMIR AND LYUDMILA, NO LONGER AN ITEM!

Icheoku says what mother Russia had put together, unbridled licentiousness and loneliness has put asunder; and so it is that the fabled strong man of Russia became a weakling on the home front and was not man enough to do what it takes to keep his home safe and secured. Russia's President Vladimir and First Lady Lyudmila Putin's marriage have gone with the wind; its center did not hold as cravings for younger skirts by Vladimir have driven the older love interest over the cliff and she had to walk away. Icheoku says yet another evidence that marriage does not work, never worked and will never work except for those who live in denial and put a facade of happily ever after. Icheoku says to Vladimir and Lyudmila, happy trails.

OBASANJO, DESERVES TO BE CAGED - YAKASSI.

"Whenever Obasanjo disagrees with a person, he will carry the fight to his place of worship, to his dining table and sometimes, he will even be fighting the person in his dream. He is unforgiving and his method of disagreement with people is sometimes a matter of life and death." - Tanko Yakassi; reacting to the recent outburst of Obasanjo in Dutse castigating President Jonathan for keeping him in the dog's house and away from calling the shots in Aso Rock. Icheoku adds, may be it is about time the Otta deity is arrested and tried for his numerous misdeeds during his presidency including the Halliburton scandal. Further, Obasanjo's membership of the PDP should be suspended since he is now more of a problem than a solution to the wellness of the party; which has increasingly become more apparent since he lost his third term bid to cling to power. But only if Icheoku were Jonathan and Jonathan were Icheoku?

BOSTON MARATHON BOMBERS, HEADED TO NEW YORK.

"We don't know if we would have been able to stop the terrorists had they arrived here from Boston. We're just thankful that we didn't have to find out that answer." - Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York speaking on the Divine providence that stopped Boston Marathon bombers cold and prevented them from getting to New York to prosecute their terrorism act.

Icheoku says well put together Mayor and in a case where lack of desired answer was a preferred option.

However no one seems to acknowledge the hijacked guy, without whose cruel fate, those Boston Marathon bombers might still be on the run. Imagine a scenario where Boston operatives would have been looking for their suspects - "the dark-skinned" terrorists, while the real "fair-skinned" terrorists would be miles away in New York causing another mayhem. Thankfully a bad incident of a vehicle hijack led to the solving of such a heinous crime of no mean magnitude. As far as Icheoku is concerned, this guy is the real hero and deserves all the credits for solving the Boston Marathon crime and should get any and all available rewards thereto.

Also thanks to the technology of the IPhone and Mercedes' imbeded tracking devices which triangulated and honed operatives to the mad men of Russia from Dagestan Chechyna. The rest as they say, is now history and one lived in real time.

ORJI KALU SHOWS THE WAY FORWARD FOR THE IGBO

“We are embarked on a big and noble dream borne out of the necessities of our history and the imperatives of our justice, equity and fair play. While our history is a proud, large, and significant imprint in Nigeria, the reality of our contemporary existence has been rendered small by the politics of the Nigerian republic. This time calls for self-assertion and Igbo people must rise and answer the challenges with one voice." - Orji Uzor Kalu, speaking on the imperativeness of a united Igbo front to take on the Nigeria project. Icheoku agrees intoto; has said it before and again says it that in Orji Uzor Kalu lies the destiny of Igbo people of Nigeria in the Nigeria project. Igbo people must put aside their base restiveness and political disfunctionalities and follow the leadership being provided by this accomplished son of Igboland, the only Igbo man who other stakeholders of Nigeria from other tribes and zones truly respect and listen to. Peradventure this Orji Uzor Kalu's opportunity to lead the Igbos out of their political doldrums and into the promised land would be lost; but Icheoku strongly counsels against that as such golden opportunity rarely strikes twice. Icheoku loves the courage of Orji Uzor Kalu and prays he succeeds with the "Njiko Igbo" project whether in 2015 or any other future time.

CHINUA ACHEBE DEAD AT 82, ADIEU.

MEDICORITY IS KILLING NIGERIA - CHINUA ACHEBE

"What has consistently escaped most Nigerians in this entire travesty is the fact that mediocrity destroys the very fabric of a country as surely as a war – ushering in all sorts of banality, ineptitude, corruption and debauchery. Nations enshrine mediocrity as their modus operandi, and create the fertile ground for the rise of tyrants and other base elements of the society, by silently assenting to the dismantling of systems of excellence because they do not immediately benefit one specific ethnic, racial, political, or special-interest group. That, in my humble opinion, is precisely where Nigeria finds itself today." - Professor Chinua Achebe, an excerpt from his latest literary work "There was a country." Icheoku adds, this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; and anyone who does not like to hear the truth about the real and true situation on the ground in Nigeria should just jump off the bridge or like Zimbabwe's strongman Robert Mugabe would put it, go hang.

NAGGING KILLS, COMMUNICATION SAVES !

Study has established that nagging is the shortest and surest route traveled to bring a marriage to a crashing end. It is even considered deadlier than infidelity and adultery put together; so couples you now know - if you want to end it asap, just let that trap of yours run afoul without ceasing. On the positive side, couples who render each other their ears enjoy marital bliss using the Faiss principles of "give and take and compromise" as their guiding light. So chose today how you want your union to go and then do what needs to be done to get there.

THE PROBLEM OF IGBO PEOPLE, IDENTIFIED!

"Listen when the song of the frog resounds from the marshes. Listen to what they have to say. It is good to come together. It is good to reach agreement. It is good to make the voices of many the single voice of all." - HRH Justice Eze Ozobu, citing the Battle of Herero as reference point to finding solution to Igbo peoples' problem of intractable dysfunctionalism.

His Royal Highness was analogizing the problems of rudderless adriftness, lack of a collective pursuit and single purposefulness as well as the absence of one identifiable leadership and/or spokesperson which are afflicting the Igbo people of Nigeria. According to this retired jurist and now traditional ruler of Owa Imezi community, Ezeagu Local Government Area of Enugu State, Nigeria, for the Igbo nation to make any meaningful and serious political headway in Nigeria, they MUST first learn to become and fight their cause as an indivisible army of one. They must end being a motley of disorganized, noisy and often ignored mob-like people, each with his or her divergent, incoherent idea and agenda on how to move the process forward. Icheoku says with this pointy truth, this jurist has identified the single cause of Igbo peoples' problem and thus earned a place in the annals of Igbo history for pointing the light on the way forward for the Igbo nation. It is now left for the Igbo people to imbibe this message, a gospel truth. and learn to articulate and marshal their viewpoints as one indivisible and fully harmonized entity!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

WWE UMAGA, DIES OF HEART-ATTACK!

Any avid watcher of the Vince McMahon's World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) will like the swagger of Umaga, the Samoan Bulldozer! Unfortunately, the heavily tattooed 6'4, 350-lb. giant from Samoa is no more, he died of massive coronary embolism aka heart attack at Northwest Medical Center, a Houston Texas hospital on Friday, December 4, 2009. 'Umaga' whose real name is Eki Eddie Fatu was 36 years old.

'Umaga' was a member of the large Anoa’i and Fatu wrestling family of Samoa, who have influenced the business for several generations; a family which includes his cousin, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who later left wrestling for Hollywood fame and has several movies to his credit.

Umaga was released from his WWE contract on June 8 2009 after he refused to go into rehabilitation following a second violation of the WWE’s no-drugs policy; in other words, he was a user which could have precipitated his heart condition leading his eventual death. His last known engagement was in Australia where he had gone as part of the “Hulkamania Tour” in Australia; an independent wrestling tour; only to return and suffer a heart attack and died as a result. His wife found him on Thursday night not breathing, with blood coming out of his nose and rushed him to the hospital but never made it out alive.

His death adds impetus to carry through President Barack Obama's health care reform so that many Americans and residents alike can have access to medical care. Umaga was part of the 33 million people in America without a health insurance which he can afford; and as a result only got to see a doctor when it was already too late! If only he had been to check-ups, may be he will still be alive to continue to provide the world of wrestling lovers some entertainment. Umaga now joins other recently departed WWE wrestlers including Canadian pro-wrestler Andrew Test Martin, Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Icheoku prays his massive soul rest in peace!

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AMERICA BIDS FAREWELL TO NIGERIAN OIL?

Icheoku says if the US don't, China or India will or Nigerians might choose to DRINK it; afterall it is their oil and they can decide how they want to dispose it? Icheoku says no wonder all these Oil companies in Nigeria are beginning to divest their holdings therein and preparing to beat it and leave town asap. Anyway at least that will give a breather to the oil producing communities whose land and water are being destroyed by oil exploration and exploitation. There will be less oil spillage and pollution once America no longer needs as much oil as it gets now from Nigeria. One other good thing is that all those looters of state in Nigeria will have their swamps drained and out of business; thus making governance less attractive since the purpose of government therein is to control the looting apparatchik . Icheoku warns of this top speed freight train impending doom to whatever is left of the monolithic Nigerian economy once America says "See ya" to the Nigerian oil; BUT is Abuja listening?

NIGHT STALKER, STALKED BY DEATH

Icheoku says tired of waiting for the State of California to make up its mind and carry out the sentence of death by execution of the man who stalked and killed his victims (thirteen of them) back in the eighties, mother nature decided to take matters into her hand as it killed the man who killed so many. Richard Ramirez, a San Quentin death row inmate, died of liver failure, he was 53 years. Icheoku says may the spirits of those he dispatched man the gate of heaven and deny him entry therein and redirect him to his place - the hottest spot in hell. Ramirez, Icheoku says, stay in hell until it freezes over and since you worshiped Satan, this would be a good opportunity for it to reward your satanic work while you lived. To Hades, you go!

PINI JASON, REST IN PEACE.

“I write to create a living space for my children, and their generation. I write so that posterity will know that I saw my country sliding into self-destruction and I tried to do something about it.” - Pini Jason on why he writes in the way he writes. Icheoku says how about you? Why do you do what you do and do you do it in such a way so that posterity records you just like the pen-master continuously did until death snatched him away. Icheoku says who knows whether Jason (Pini) Onyeagbaduo was poisoned or died of stomach cancer or ruputured appendix; except that none of these matter any longer now that he is dead. Icheoku says adieu Pini Jason.

"DARK-SKINNED" BOSTON BOMBER WAS ACUTALLY "WHITE-SKINNED?"

Icheoku knew it was a matter of days before the security dragnet festooned on Boston after the Marathon bombing yielded a catch. Icheoku says congratulations to the men and women of Boston security outfit as well as the Federal agencies that assisted the operation. Icheoku however points out that "the dark-skinned" terrorist being expected never materialized. Anyway a white-terrorist is a white-terrorist whether it was just another "white-skinned" terrorist from Russian Chechyna; afterall they are all Caucasians. Unibomber was "white-skinned", Timothy McVeigh was "white-skinned," Atlanta Olympics bomber was "white-skinned," Abortion clinics bomber was "white-skinned," and a whole lotta other bombers so far whose skin had remained largely WHITE. Now the Boston Marathon bombers were equally "white-skinned." Despite this pattern, the white skinned John King of CNN said "a reliable source told him the terror suspect was "dark-skinned." Icheoku says this stray from skin-color should have triggered an alarm in John King's brain except that they were praying that another different race got into bombing terrorism business? Before Icheoku forgets, Osama Bin Laden was equally "white-skinned" for crying out loud. Icheoku is wondering whether John King will apologize to "dark-skinned" people of America for wishing them ill-luck and also if none Caucasians deserve a general additional apoology for what they have been and continued to be put through by these white-skinned" people? Anyway Congrats Boston for a job well done taking the two terrorist-brothers Tamaerlar and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev out of circulation and out of commission. Icheoku says if only IGP Mohammed of Nigeria can borrow a leaf from Boston on how to trap terrorists ditto those Boko Haram lunatics.

OBASANJO IS DELUSIONAL, NEVER HAD A PAST?

If only humanity cannot remember the past, especially those of them hibernating in Nigeria, this Otta deity would have pretended for good measure that he never once presided over Nigeria or destroyed its democracy in every way possible and better still, did not seek to elongate his term in office contrary to the constitution. Hear him now beating his hand on his chest and applauding Ghana's democracy as if when he had similar opportunity in Nigeria, he delivered. What a joke this man is and a rude one for crying out loud.

ITS 'HORSES AND BAYONETS' FOR THE MITT.

Mitt Romney's mindset truly shows where his heart is - reset America to its cold war days with Russia and pretend that modern aircraft carriers and other amphibious battle ships never happened. What a man set in his ways this Mormon bishop is who wants America to take a gamble with him in the White House. Icheoku says never again shall America hire as a president someone who does not understand with certain clarity the foreign policy objectives of the country and who would recklessly rush America into a needless and avoidable war. This November VOTE OBAMA.

CHINUA ACHEBE HAS A NEW BOOK, 'THERE WAS A COUNTRY', READ IT.

ETHIOPIA LOSES PRIME MINISTER

STEVE, THE BLIND WONDER, DIVORCES WIFE NUMBER TWO.

Even a blind man knows when it is time to throw in the towel, of marriage that is; and so it is that the blind maestro and accomplished musician, Steve Wonder, is divorcing his wife number two of many years. Icheoku does not know about you but there is something about marriage that makes it near impossible to work; otherwise may someone with better knowledge explain it to Icheoku why all these divorces including by a blind man who ordinarily needs all the dependency of a sighted wife to live a more meaningful life? Anyway, Steve, welcome to the land of Splitsville.

CATHOLIC MONSIGNOR HEADS TO PRISON!

America, the land of equal opportunity for justice where everybody is under the law including a Monsignor of the Roman Catholic church has convicted Monsignor William Lynn of child endangerment resulting from his failure to protect alter-boys from randy homosexual Catholic priests. The Catholic convict formerly was of Philadelphia Diocese and will soon be trading his Monsignor cassock for prison jump suit. Who knows what Vatican must be thinking about the Americans who gave no damn about convicting one of the Holy Sea's top-heavy, a Monsignor. What a day.

DICK CHENEY'S LESBIAN DAUGHTER TIES THE KNOT.

Mary Cheney, a Lesbian homosexual and daughter of Vart Nadar Dick Cheney former George Bush vice president has married her long time partner of nearly twenty years Heather Poe. Now what would the conservative far right Republicans who hate everything and anything not "traditional" do or say now that one of their own, Dick Cheney, has a daughter in law via marriage to his own daughter Mary. Anyway Icheoku does not care who anyone chooses to sleep with or better still marry; therefore our congratulations to the newest homosexual couples in town.

CONGRATULATIONS MADAM FACEBOOK!

Icheoku felicitates with the luckiest girl in the world. She is a medical doctor and now married to her longtime sweetheart of nine years courtship, Facebook billionaire Mark Zuckerberg. Dr Priscilla Chan has thus made the Facebook founder an honest man. They tied the nuptial knot as husband and wife Saturday May 19th, 2012. Icheoku wishes the young couple a happily-ever married life. Theirs is a case of true love, having met each other as "hungry college students", when neither of them was somebody in the material sense of it. Now the rest of the gawking world must butt out and allow the couple to enjoy their life in matrimony. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Facebook, Priscilla and Mark Zuckerberg.

DONNA SUMMER, DEAD OF LUNG CANCER.

The gal who worked 'hard for her money' and who sought 'unconditional love' in return for her affection, LaDonna Adrian Gaines, who in agreement with the material girl Madonna that you should to do whatever is necessary to make a headway in life, including changing your name if need be, and changed her name to simply "Donna Summer" has died. The Queen of Disco who rocked dance floors back in the day (70's) died of lung cancer; 5/17/12. Donna Summer was 63. Icheoku says may her soul rest in peace.

DENNIS RODMAN HITS FINANCIAL ROCK BOTTOM.

Dennis Rodman, the once baddest of the bad-boys that ever played in the NBA, faced with over $800,000 arrears of unpaid child(ren) support and a backlog of a $17000 per month spousal maintenance is on the verge of jumping off the cliff into complete financial ruins. Icheoku says what a mixed blessing that the fortune which once smiled on some of these superstars brought tales of woes to their doorsteps. Imagine "The Worm" so broke that he cannot even afford to pay retainer fees for his attorney. Yet another case of a once was great come to ruins and you wonder, boy, was the preacher in the bible right about vanity upon vanities, all is vanity.

BIANCA EMBODIES GRACE IN MOURNING,

Icheoku says Bianca Onoh-Ojukwu is the stuff loyalty, queens, princesses and first ladies are made of and fortunately enough she is a "princess of Wawaland" by birth and queen of Igboland by marriage to the one and only acknowledged true Igbo leader Dim Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu. What a wife, who even in deep sorrow, looks so gracious it gives comfort. Icheoku is really very proud of this woman and pray that the good Lord speedy up her healing from the loss of her better half. Bianca, Icheoku says, Igbo people and indeed Nigerians in general are very proud of you for how you showed the world how to mourn a loved one. Take heart.

SARKOZY WANTS FRANCE FOR THE FRENCH ONLY?

Icheoku says the diminutive Frenchman Napoleon Bonaparte syndrome sufferer has turned a "Hitler"! Monsieur Nikolas Sarkozy now wants all none-white French to vacate the country since according to him, they are "too many foreigners on our territory" and France can longer accommodate them? Icheoku says here is a son of an Immigrant from Hungary now trying to bar other none French like his parents from coming into France. Query:- if such law were in effect when the elder Sarkozy migrated to France, would there be a French president named Nikolas Sarkozy today? It is all the I have crossed the bridge let it fall down selfishness which should not be allowed to make it to legislation. What a petty small minded individual that coughed up such discriminatory position statement.

SANDRA FLUKE, RUSH LIMBAUGH OVERREACHED HIMSELF AND SHOULD PAY A PENALTY.

Icheoku says without equivocation that redneck and women hater Rush Limbaugh certainly did himself in when he called a law student a slut and prostitute simply for having sex. As a consequence, his show should pay a steep price and possibly wind up like Murdock's News of the World newspapers in London. ANy listener of Rush Limbaugh;s diatribe knows that Rush does not mean well for America united and diverse; needless to say that President Obama has been the butt of all his talking points these last three years. Icheoku says let the hammer descend and let Rush Limbuaghs show come to a deserved end. Such a divisive hate-monger does not deserve a place in our mosaic American society and the opportunity to end his race-baiting could never have been any better. So with all the advertisers pulled let Icheoku see how any radio would profitably continue to carry such a horrible divisive scum called Rush Limbaugh's show.

ALLEN IVERSON, BROKE AND WONDERING WHERE HIS STASH WENT?

They never learn their lesson one would assume as another sports superstar falls from grace of being a multi-millionaire to the grass of a broke ass deadbeat. Allen Iverson of New York Knicks, Detroit Pistons, Philadelphia Sixers etc reportedly has blown through a $154 million pot of cash earned during his professional basketball career, excluding endorsements? Now his checks are no longer honored by banks as a recent check he wrote for $860,000 to pay for bling-bling bounced? Icheoku said and now what or better still, where were his financial advisors?

KABIRU SOKOTO, BOKO HARAM KINGPIN RE-CAPTURED?

Icheoku commends the security agencies in Nigeria for saving their face with the latest capture of Boko Haram fugitive Terrorist Kabiru Sokoto. Looking at his photograph, it appears those lunatic Boko Haram terrorists are not serious with their hatred for anything Western otherwise why is he spiffed up in Western Puma T-shirt, blue denim and looking not so wretched? Icheoku hopes that he gets the death penalty, unlike the previously arrested and tried terrorist who got a mere slap-on-the-wrist three years in the slammer. Way to go agents, just show them pepper and fry their gaunt Islamic terrorist asses.

"SOMEONE IN HERE HAS BROKEN UP A FAMILY." - REV RUSSELL MOORE.

Icheoku says that was a direct one at Newt Gingrich as he attended church service at Lutz Florida by Reverend Moore who delivered the special sermon. Anyway, Newt is shameless running on family values which he had severally defiled; his pretentious repentance notwithstanding. Icheoku calls on Florida voters to reject Gingrich as there can be no salvation after death; nor can anyone possibly teach an old dog new tricks. Newt Gingrich is not a fit and proper candidate for the Republican Party nor would he be right for the presidency.

NEW IGP's MISSION STATEMENT.

"I am aware of the challenges of the task ahead. But I am equal to the task because I am not a stranger to these things. My administration is going to be different from all the past Police leadership administration. The need to fight crime and criminality in the country, the need to fight corruption and indiscipline in the Police is my major task. This administration is not going to be business as usual. There is going to be major reorganization in the police. Postings of policemen to any duty will be based on merit and the ability to deliver. I need the cooperation of all including the media to help us succeed. Nigeria is bigger than any individual, therefore, we must join hands to salvage our nation." That is the new Inspector General of Police Mohammed Dikko Abubakar reading the riot act of his mission statement to which Icheoku adds, AMEN and prays that the IG lives up to his well articulated words.

SO LONG LIBYAN REVOLUTION, ENTER SHARIA-SEEKING ISLAMISTS.

Moummar Gaddafi warned and warned that Al-Queida is coming to take over but a rage saturated Western world would hear none of that. Today, the Islamists al-queida are demanding a Sharia-ruled Libya, making a joke of the relative secularism that had thrived in the North African desert country. Gaddafi is long dead and buried in an unmarked grave and is now unaware of the impending Islamic take over of Libya; but it is the Libyan people and the world that would face the coming tsunami of repression in the hands of those Sharia gun-ho Islamists. What a fate to befall an unsuspecting nation, now under the threat of limbs and body-parts being hacked out for the slightest infringement of their very rigid Sharia law. But where were these fundamentalists mullahs when Gaddafi held sway in Tripoli?

MITT ROMNEY HAS NO CORE - AMERICA BRIDGE 21ST CENTURY.

"Mitt Romney has no core and he will do and say anything to get elected" so said Rodell Mollineau, president of America Bridge 21st Century. He is once again alerting America about the con man Mitt Romney who wants to be president by all means possible including lying on his records and pretending to be everything to everybody provided he gets what he wants. Icheoku says when someone wants something so badly that he could say anything including calling day night and vice versa, it is in the society's interest that such person be stopped. Such a person cannot and does not deeply mean well for the society at large and must be told thanks but no. So America, you have been warned yet again that Mitt Romney is not good for America; so reject his candidacy.

"MOMMY, THE BABYSITTER HAS BEEN DOING THAT TO ME.”

While describing Penn State's former assistant football coach Sandusky's molestation charges to her eight year old child, a mother got a rude awakening when her son told her that the babysitter she hired to take care of him has been doing the same thing to him. What a world we live in where keepers of the gate become looters of the treasure as in this case where a dog has eaten the bone that was hung on its neck? What a perv this Jordan Liu is and hopefully he will be made to pay a price for it.

KOBE BRYANT DOGGED YET AGAIN, WIFE FILES FOR DIVORCE.

Icheoku says the foolish man who paid his wife off for having sex with a White hotel maid did not have a nuptial agreement with his soon to be ex-wife; who smartly have decided to walk away with half the basket ball player's fortune? Who knows what the beef was this time or did she catch Kobe Bryant with yet another White Trash and decided enough is enough. Anyway, thanks to "irreconcilable difference" omnibus reason for marital meltdown, the world might never know what the real and true knife in their butter is. However, Icheoku asks, who keeps the $4million diamond ring with which her "love" was purchased or should Icheoku say which she mortgaged her love following Kobe's criminal prosecution for allegedly raping a White hotel worker. Icheoku says this is another sad case of a basketball wife walking away to freedom with a man's hard earned money and possibly for another man's benefit. Vanessa Bryant and Kobe Bryant are no longer an item; another testimony that marriage is a ruse as it never works.

OJUKWU, HAS LOST A SECOND AND FINAL BATTLE?

Ikemba Nnewi and DIkedioranma of Igboland, Chief Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu has again lost another battle. The first was to Nigeria federalist army as leader of Biafra and this time to death. Like all mortals, we all shall die and this shall be our consolation as we mourn the demise of a very brave and courageous man who stood between a genocidal Nigerian federal army and the threatened peoples of the former Eastern region. He was 78 years old and died of diabetes related ailment? The question really should be not that he died but what legacy did he leave behind and in response, Icheoku says Ojukwu left indelible giant footprints in the sands of time; admitted he died in a foreign hospital and in a strange land like many Nigerian high-ups. To the family of the deceased, Icheoku says take heart. To Biafrans, it is time to re-articulate and reconfigure the way forward. Adieu Ikemba.

IBB FIRES BACK AT MAKU LABARAN

In response to Nigeria's Information Minister trying to specifically scapegoat him for all the woes of Nigeria dating back to 1986, the Evil genius growled from his den in Minna hilltop. According to the toothy fairy prince of Minna, Labran Maku does not deserve a response from him as he is " too carried away with his saxophonist job to remember simple history.” Icheoku adds but why did Mr Maku choose to make 1986 his reference point and not 1960 or 1970 or 1983 or better still why did he leave 1999 to 2007 out of his focal point? Anyway anybody in Ibrahim Babangida's shoes would similarly spring up to defend his record and not permit being so uncharacteristically singled out in such manner. Icheoku does not always agree with the evil genius but in this case, cannot disagree more with the manner the minister choose to pile up on IBB.

WORDS OF WISDOM BY DANNY BUCHIS

"The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:16 to take up the shield of faith because your enemies are many. They want to stop you. They want to molest you. They want to humiliate you. They want you to walk through life hopelessly and miserably until wretchedly defeated." - Danny Buchis. Icheoku says what a truism that must and should practically be a guide to all our relationships, mindful of the fact that not all show of teeth is affectionate and admirable laughter. Quite an interesting words of wisdom to extend your life from Danny Buchis of Abuja Nigeria.

ALEX IBRU, PUBLISHER OF NIGERIAN GUARDIAN NEWSPAPER IS DEAD.

Another Nigerian high-up, publisher and member of the Ibru family of Agbhara-Otor, Delta State Nigeria, Alexander Uruemu Ibru, is dead. Alex Ibru died of cancer and Parkinson disease related illness; he was 66. Unlike so many well heeled Nigerians and top government officials who would rather die in strange land overseas surrounded by strangers, this high chief and business magnate choose to make his transition in Nigeria, surrounded by family and friends. He could have paid to go die in any foreign hospital of his choice throughout the world, but he chose not to and for this Icheoku commends his patriotic spirit. Regrettably, death is inevitable; admitted he cheated death once when the goons of late midget dictator of Kano, Sani Abacha, bullets could not silence him. May his soul rest in peace. It must be jubilation in the camp of Mustapha as his attempted murder charges of Alex Ibru automatically discharged since one cannot attempt the murder of a deceased person.

BOKO HARAM SUICIDE BOMBERS WILL GO TO HELL - GOVERNOR ALIYU

Icheoku says what does members of Boko Haram care afterall about going to hell? They were already in hopeless hellish condition which drove them to suicide bombing in the first place. Having tasted hell first hand by proxy of their suicide bombers obliterating themselves with bombs; so what the heck is hell anyway for these die-hard hell-raisers who have already trained and prepared themselves so well for a life in hell? Talk another thing jaare, Mr Governor Aliyu Babangida. Boko Haram is hell and hell is Boko Haram; like Caesar and Fear, they are both twins, littered on the same day and by the same mother, so no hell-shaking for Boko Haram!

JONATHAN FRETS AWAY $35BILLION FOREIGN RESERVE - OBASANJO?

The Otta deity is once again out and smoking; fussing about the drunken-sailor style of squandering of the nations foreign reserve since he left office. According to Baba-Iyabo, the $35billion he left in Nigeria's foreign reserves has been spent by the succeeding administration of Yar'Adua and Jonathan. In Obasanjo's very own street style manner of speaking, he said, "When we left that money, we thought we were leaving it for the rainy day. But my brother said the rain is falling now. The fact is that when the rain eventually starts falling, we will have nothing left to cover our heads with because we have blown it off." Icheoku says but what has Nigeria got to show for the huge amount but few bloated men and women who are well connected and partaking in the sharing of the pie!

DRIVING WHILE CRAZY IN LAGOS.

2.5 million Lagos drivers have mental disorder according to recent studies conducted by the Lagos State Ministry of Health. That is an average of 14.1% of the total Lagos State population or 1 in every 5 Lagos residents - Dr. Jide Idris, Lagos State Commissioner for Health. Icheoku says you now know why the road rage and road carnage exist. In other nations, you have DWI or DUI - driving while intoxicated or driving under the influence; in Lagos Nigeria, you have DWC or DWM - driving while crazy or driving while mental !

POWER MINISTER SABOTAGING POWER SUPPLY - ITA EYANG

Icheoku says one needs the suspension of disbelief to accept the allegation that a minister charged with supplying power to Nigerians would turn around to sabotage his effort. Icheoku is usually not on the side of Nigerian government officials, but this case calls for an exception as what is alleged is highly improbable. It is akin to a dog eating the bone which was hung on its neck. Hopefully it is not the beginning of the usual Nigerians gang-up against anything and everything Igbo with Power Minister Professor Barth Nnaji, an Igboman, being their latest target. Icheoku however adds that Senator Ita Eyang should rather explore ways of legislating out the use of power generators in Nigeria as the mafia that controls the trade on generators are the ones sabotaging power supply in Nigeria and not the Power Minister.

KIM KARDASHIAN SNEAKS DIVORCE ON UNSUSPECTING HUSBAND?

Women, what would they not do; but were it a man that pulled such a fast one, feminists the world over would have screamed blue-murder heartless! So it is that celebrity Kim Kardashian just filed for divorce from her husband of 72 days Kris Humpheries, without first discussing it with him. Now the devastated heart-broken man wants to trade his arm to have Kim back, despite just finding out from the media that he is being divorced by his wife? Icheoku says that shows there was real "LOVE" in the first place; but give it up for Hollywood - the land of plastics; as yet goes another plastic marriage contrapted just for Television ratings! Or could it be that height-challenged and disadvantaged Kim got tired of standing on platforms each time she wants to kiss her soon to be ex-man, who knows; Icheoku is just asking?

SAMSON SIASIA OUSTED.

Icheoku saw it coming when we implored Nigerians not to accept his apology for failing to qualify against Guinea. Our bone with Siasia, a home-based coach, who we had supported his appointment is that he took his beef with goalkeeper Enyema rather too far. A rational man in his position should have been a sportsman by forgiving whatever sins the goalkeeper committed and played him to enable Nigeria qualify; but no, his ego came between, resulting in Nigeria's ouster from the championship. Anyway, what a good riddance.

OBAMA ON DEAD GADDAFI

"Obviously, you never like to see anybody come to the kind of end that he did, but I think it obviously sends a strong message around the world to dictators that people long to be free, and they need to respect the human rights and the universal aspirations of people." Icheoku says it is true and asks, why not extend the same Gaddafi treatment to Syria, Iran, Yemen and possibly Bahrain as what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Let it become an "Obama universal doctrine of general application" and not a selective one!

HERMAIN CAIN STILL BEATING RICK PERRY AND MITT ROMNEY IN THE POLLS?

Yes, say it ain't true, but that is the reality of now that a nigger from the deep south is beating two White establishment candidates in the run-up to the Republican Party's primaries? The latest poll finds Mister 999, flip-flopper, Herman Cain, still leading establishment candidate Mitt Romney and Texan Rick Perry in the likely voters choice for Republican presidential candidate. Icheoku says what an irreconcilable irony that a Republican Nigger is now being engineered to face-off a Democratic Nigger in the biggest political Nigger-fight of the century? The good news however is that it will not happen as the good ole Whiteboys owners of the Republican Party will not let a nigger fly their confederate presidential flag into the election 2012.

GADDAFI, EVEN HIS FRIENDS THE RUSSIANS COULD NOT SAVE HIM?

HAMID KARZAI, DOUBLE-FACED JANUS WILL FIGHT AGAINST USA?

Afraid of having his head blown off by Pakistan sponsored turban-wearing mullah/suicide bomber, the US handpicked, installed and protected but ungrateful president of Afghanistan has turned a traitor! Hamid Karzai vowed to take up arms against the United States of America, thereby biting the finger that feeds him and this latest threat by Karzai must not go unpunished. Icheoku says it is about time the United States changed their policy on Karzai from love to hate and let this mullah face his certain and assured demise in the hands of the Taliban. How dare this little man of Kabul say that he will take sides with America's enemies and Pakistan to fight against America in event of hostilities between the two countries; yet America spends her blood and purse trying to maintain this guy in power? Icheoku says now that the real America-hating Karzai has fully taken off his mask of deception, it is time he is left to his fate and marooned in the Taliban infested Afghanistan to purchase his one-way ticket to meet with his 70 virgins? The other time he threatened to take up suicide vests and join suicide-bombing Talibans to kill Americans in Afghanistan and now followed it with his second threat against the security interest of America? Something has to be done about it and fast; Hamid Karzai does not worth any American taxpayers cent being expended on his security and provision - cut the darn guy off and do it NOW Washington!

POPE BENEDICT XVI IS A NAZI - SUSAN SARANDON?

"The last one. Not this Nazi one we have now." With those words, referring to the former and present popes, actress and activist Susan Saradon said the current Catholic Pope and Bishop of Rome, Benedict XVI "is" a member of the Nazi party that fermented Jewish holocaust. Icheoku does not understand why she is being called out for her remarks since it is on record that the pope was once a registered member of the Nazi party youth wing and there are photos to vouch for it. Anyway blame political correctness for all these sensitivities.

THUNDER STRIKES, BLAME IT ON PRESIDENT OBAMA - ANITA PERRY.

Anita Perry, wife of Texas Governor Rick Perry, the man who wants to be Republican Party's presidential candidate in 2012 has blamed President Barack Obama for her son's resignation from his bank job in order to campaign for his dad? Icheoku says ridiculousness has never got this ridiculous that a voluntary act of a full grown trust-fund kid is now being blamed on the president. Anyway, little surprise that Texas is not known for producing very bright minds; so pardon the first lady wanna be for throwing up mud and hoping it will stick. In her own words, she said "My son Griffin had to resign his job at Deutsche Bank because of SEC [Securities and Exchange Commission] Federal regulations that says he can't go out and campaign with his father still employed? My son lost his job because of this administration! What a shame and this is the woman that would be micro-managing her husband Rick Perry should he get into the White House? Icheoku says luckily enough the Perrys did not blame President Obama for the Texas wildfires and unseasonable drought.

UKRAINE JAILS PRIME MINISTER FOR DOING HER JOB?

Yulia Tymoshenko, the former Prime Minister of Ukraine was jailed for seven years for "negotiating a gas deal with Russia in 2009?" Icheoku says ridiculous cannot have any better definition than this judicial persecution of a political opponent in Ukraine. How can negotiating a deal which was in the national interest of a country become a punishable offense; moreso when such was not expressly excluded by constitution; or does the present authorities in Kiev wish that Ukrainians were allowed to freeze to death during the threatened Russia's oil embargo or cut-off. What an incredible abuse of the judicial process by the executive in Kiev; hopefully the higher court will throw out the kangaroo conviction unless they are equally compromised. What a shame.

NATION'S CUP OUSTER, SIASIA'S APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED!

Coach Samson Siasia was ostensibly not sensitive enough to winning the qualifying match and to Nigerians at large who cut his paycheck. Any other reasonable coach, worth his office and pay, would have thrown all he got in both manpower and technical expertise to qualify and secure Nigeria a berth in the next edition of African Nations Cup competition. But an arrogant and egotistic Siasia insisted on his suspension of the only proven able and tested hands Enyema, the safest hands Nigeria squad have at the present and now the depressing result and ouster from the competition. Icheoku says whatever the Nigeria football authority decides to do to him or his contract in ritaliation is well deserved, as only an obstinate coach would go ahead and refuse one of his best goalkeepers around in such a crucial make or mar qualifying match. Icheoku says Nigeria should therefore reject his apology as unacceptable in the circumstance.

OAKLAND RAIDERS' AL DAVIES IS DEAD.

Icheoku sympathizes with the Raider Nation on the loss of the excitable hands-on owner and fan numero uno of The Raiders, Al Davies, who passed on today Saturday October 8, 2011. Al was 82 years. Now at least the coach can have the freedom of fielding players who trained in the field of play instead of having players imposed on him by an owner who thinks because he writes the check he can also determine who got to play. May his soul now rest in peace. Hopefully there is NFL Franchise in the world beyond to keep him going; Adieu Al.

DOGS KILL DOG-CATCHER?.

It happened in Nigeria, the land under siege by Islamic terrorist group Boko Haram, where armed robbers stormed the residence of a police officer in charge of eradicating armed robbery and shot him to death. To add insult to injury, they also shot and killed his 22year old daughter, which in the words of a neighbor is "the revenge of the robbers?" According to him, "John was the officer in charge of anti-robbery. It is very possible that the hoodlums came for revenge." Icheoku queries if armed robbers could so audaciously invade the residence of a police chief and kill him in this manner, what then is the fate of the ordinary Joe-Nigerian in Nigeria who is not authorized to pack heat? Our condolence to the slain John Ibizugbe's family of 5 Martha Williams Street, Asorobi, Agbado, Lagos, Nigeria.

SHEHU LADAN, ANOTHER TOP NIGERIAN DIES IN A FOREIGN HOSPITAL?

Icheoku says another top-heavy Nigerian has shamelessly died in a foreign hospital where he ran away to thinking that would save his sorry arse? The former Group Managing Director of Nigeria National Petroleum Company, NNPC, Shehu Ladan, died of undisclosed illness at a Qatari hospital in Dubai; but from his womanly-physique he probably was suffering from renal problem and diabetes? His money was not able to purchase him health, not even in a foreign hospital from where his dead body will now be flown back to be interred in the same Nigeria he ran away from to seek medical treatment. Anyway, what a great leveler death is, otherwise some of these people who have failed to do right by and for Nigeria with all the opportunities they have had, would have even bribed death to only kill those Nigerians who could not afford foreign medical trips. Our condolences to the bereaved family.

NIGERIAN MERCENARIES KILLED, FIGHTING IN LIBYA?

Icheoku does not want to believe the story that some Nigerians were actively fighting for the deposed former Libyan strongman and that they were killed during a fire-fight. Even for the sake of argument that they were mercenaries, they ought to know that the game was up with the fall of Tripoli. Icheoku honestly think that those anti-black African Arabs executed the three Nigerians in cold blood and blamed it on the ongoing war in Libya. Ugochukwu Okafor, 33; Emeka Aloysius Mohammed, 32 and Braimoh Garba, 30 appear likely to have been stranded in Libya enroute Europe and were unfortunately caught up in the Libya revolution which have now claimed their youthful lives. Icheoku says may their striving souls now rest in peace.

NIGERIA TURNS 51, HAPPY INDEPENDENCE ANNIVERSARY.

Icheoku says as motherland turns fifty one years old today, some people say there is no need celebrating as there is nothing to celebrate. Icheoku says in as much as things could be better, but there are lots that could provide reason to celebrate:- the ever restive Nigeria military have finally realized their place and are no longer toppling governments; also despite the challenges of security and all the jaw-jaw, Nigerians for most part still love themselves and want to remain one country; at least there was election or its simulation as well as so many other things including the seamless transition. Anyway, happy anniversary Nigeria.

AKHWAT AKWOP CHRISTIAN TERRORIST GROUP, COUNTERS BOKO HARAM?

Icheoku says never a time is violence or threat of it justified and it does not matter if it is by Islamic fundamentalists or christian zealots. Early crusaders are known to some as equally terrorists? Now tired of the menace which is Boko Haram, a christian group, Akhwat Akwop, has formed its own terror-squad to checkmate the Islamic Boko Haram in Nigeria. Icheoku says this is not the answer or solution and therefore calls on the supposedly christian terror group to please sheath their sword. They should remember the biblical injunction "Thou shall not kill"; and also that the Lord Jesus Christ represented and preached peace. He it is who first stated that vengeance is mine says the Lord. Two wrongs does not make a right and Icheoku calls on Akhwat Akwop to advise itself of this and not to join the madness as represented by Boko Haram, currently laying siege on country.

CBS 60 MINUTES ANDY ROONEY, FINALLY WALKS AWAY?

Icheoku says it was a thing since long overdue for CBS to spare viewers of he unsightly too old to still hold a job great grandpa on our televisions. Icheoku thought also that Andy Rooney was out to fulfill his earlier pledge to vacate his seat on a gurney; but at last reason has prevailed and the apparition will no longer haunt our televisions any more. At 92 years old, it does not matter how good any person is, just the straggling eyebrows, wrinkly skins and loose-hanging jowls makes it simply too tortuous to see on our televisions and Icheoku makes bold to add that were Andy Rooney a blackman or a woman or any other minority person in America, he would have been canned long ago. Anyway, what a riddance although somewhat too late in coming; and may the great grandpa now spend whatever is left of his natural life, enjoying his children, grand-children and great grand children. So long Rooney.

DOMINIQUE STRAUSS KAHN, SEX WITH JANITOR IS A MORAL FAILURE.

Icheoku says give it up to the French horn-dog DSK Strauss Kahn whose romp with a hotel cleaning lady Nafissatou Diallo made recent scandalous headlines of powerful men behaving badly? The French man now says he is contrite about his uncontrolled libido and that he disappointed numerous people. According to him, "it was a failing, a failing vis-a-vis my wife, my children and my friends but also a failing vis-a-vis the French people, who had vested their hopes for change in me. It was a moral failing and I am not proud of it. I regret it infinitely. I have regretted it everyday for the past four months and I think I'm not done regretting it." Icheoku asks, when is Mr Dominique Strauss Kahn going to apologize to the janitor for not paying for a blow-job rendered to him or just simply write her a check for the agreed fee and for her pain and suffering. Icheoku has always maintained that whatever took place between the two was consensual and that the maid got smart or rather mad after DSK reneged on their agreed term of rendering her knob-polishing contract. Or may be it the Frenchy-way of doing business just to receive?

EVICTED GREAT GREAT GRAND MA GETS BACK HOME.

Icheoku says what a relief that the 101 year old great great grand mother who was evicted from her home of sixty years has won a reprieve. US Department of Housing and Urban Development said Texana Hollis can move back to her home and it will pay on her behalf the past-due taxes, the reason she was evicted in the first place. Icheoku commends this good Samaritan act of HUD and affirms that it is close to a moral obligation not to evict a 101 year old great great ma from her home of past sixty years.

NO FREE LUNCH IN AMERICA, GREAT GRAND MOTHER EVICTED!

Icheoku says give it up for capitalism without soul as callous possessors evicted a 101 year old great great grandmother from her home of over sixty years in Detroit Michigan. What a world we are turning into where Tea Party supporters at a Republican Party's presidential nomination bid debate cheered to allow poor and uninsured Americans to just die and die quickly instead of wasting tax payers money on them? Anyway 101 year old Texana Hollis must be questioning her maker why He kept her alive for too long to see such a day when such a fate would befall her despite her very advanced age. Icheoku says, where are all those philanthropic Americans to the rescue of great grand Nana.

UNITED STATES OF EUROPE NEEDED - GERHARD SCHROEDER

The former Germany Chancellor, Gerhard Schroeder, made a case for a United European government that will stand and compete with other united blocs of the world. According to him, "The current crisis makes it relentlessly clear that we cannot have a common currency zone without a common fiscal, economic and social policy. We will have to give up national sovereignty. From the European Commission, we should make a government which would be supervised by the European Parliament. And that means the United States of Europe." Icheoku agrees that those Europeans should pawn up their unnecessary national pride respectively and embrace a united bloc that will really empower them to compete globally instead of this pinch-penny quasi union of Euro-zone and currency. The way forward is to either go the full hog and assimilate or dissolve whatever it is they currently have and be extension, put an end to all this pretended unity. Icheoku therefore aligns itself to the former Chancellor's position and states that a United States or Countries of Europe is a thing which time has since come.

MARRIAGE AND THE COMPANIONSHIP QUESTION?

DEPORTATION FEVER, DOUBLE WAHALLA FOR NAFISSATOU DIALLO?

Unconfirmed sources hinted that the "dirty" African accuser of white Frenchman Dominique Strauss Kahn may be shipped back to the dark continent? Anyway if it is true she lied about her sexual favors, she deserves all that she gets as her tale suggests a sexual blackmailer who wanted to use her genitalia to realize her American Dream? Soon and very soon she will be having an African Nightmare in her native Guinea instead. Never been wrongly accused, you will not understand what DSK possible went through; admitted he cheated on his dutiful wife.

BEING INCESTUOUS IS DIFFERENT FROM BEING A FOOL.

Icheoku says once again the grammar-challenged Babangida has shown that he lacks real grasp of the very issue presented in his current battle of wits with Obasanjo. Babangida's attempt to equate Obasanjo's alleged incestuous relationship with his son's wife as tantamount to being a fool falls flat because the two are not analogous. According to IBB, "being called a fool at 70, especially by a man reportedly accused by his own son of incest, is at best a compliment." Icheoku says not so Mister Evil Genius, as being a fool is never complimentary and having sexual dalliance with one's daughter in-law is at best morally wrong but definitely not foolishness. At least the Otta deity was smart enough to get some, admitted from his son's wife Mojisola; but foolish men don't even know how to go about getting any.

NASIR EL RUFIA, ANOTHER AGENT OF SHARIA AND THE IMPENDING JIHAD?

Icheoku says it is becoming increasingly obvious that the mullahs of the north are up to no good and are trying their possible best to provoke a war? First Rufai went to London and cast aspersion on the president's election, he was briefly invited for questioning when the Chief Imam himself, Buhari, threatened and demanded his immediate release. Then enter Sanusi's Islamic Banking bait and now Nasir is again accusing Obasanjo of impropriety at privatisation but failed to disclose why he did not resign from office then as a consciencious objector? All of a sudden as if from the heavens Babangida barges in through the door and slammed Obasanjo? Icheoku says President Jonathan and the rest of other Nigerians will be naive not to see the handwriting on the wall and start planning for the D-day. If it quacks like a duck and walks like one, it might as well be a duck and Icheoku says these piling on is not for nothing.

AUGUSTUS AIKHOMU, BABANGIDA'S ACCOMPLICE, IS DEAD!

Icheoku congratulates the late Admiral Augustus Aikhomu for at least dying in Nigeria; unlike his other counterparts high-up Nigeria former government officials who embark on overseas medical tourism whenever they take ill, only to eventually die in such foreign hospitals, alone and lonely. These officials could have developed medical centers of excellence in Nigeria for all to access but their wickedness and selfishness did not let them. Moreso because they could easily afford to travel abroad anytime to seek the best care available so why should they bother with fixing a decayed medical system back home.Icheoku also says anybody who could conveniently collude with Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida in the annulment of June 12 election should not be missed by Nigerians, not even in death. Therefore Aikhomu's death is not a biggie and we pray the good Lord hasten the demise of all that contributed in keeping Nigeria down and out all these years since independence. Icheoku does not belong to the school of sycophancy that blows with the wind and sings undeserving praises each time some sentimental opportunity rears its head, regardless of the person's antecedents. Our condolences however goes to the bereaved family on their loss. Aikhomu was 70 plus and died of prostrate cancer.

THE BIAFRAN GIRL, VICTIM OF YAKUBU GOWON'S INDUCED KWASHIOKOR.

Genocidal Yakubu Gowon committed war crimes during Nigeria/Biafran war by using starvation of women and children as an instrument of war. This picture of a Biafran girl, a victim of Gowon's hyper-malnutrition war tactic, is placed here as a remembrance and prayer for the dear leader of Biafra, Chief Odumegwu Ojukwu. Admitted that he did not succeed, but it could have been worse if not for his intervention and for this the people of Biafra forever woes him their gratitude. Icheoku hopes that the latest 'IM' on his demise is not true and we pray and remember him for all that he sacrificed on behalf the Biafran people.

'ABIOLA WAS KILLED BY PEOPLE UP THERE'- MUSTAPHA.

“Those people who stood against Abiola are people that are high up there that cannot be brought to court. Abiola slumped with his face down on the grounds, how come all those that were there with him in the room didn’t help him?” - Major Hamza Mustapha giving evidence of the conspiracy and complicity involved in Chief MKO Abiola's death through poison with arsenic-laced tea? Icheoku says if only President Jonathan is man enough to use this case to turn into a real statesman by investigating all the fingered parties to unravel how Nigeria killed or was complicit in the killing of her president-elect Chief Moshood Kashimawo Oluwole Abiola?

WORDS OF WISDOM, NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

Men judge by what they see rather than what they truly experienced or felt. They judge by their eyes rather than by their touch as all men can see a thing but only a few of them can come close enough to touching it. All men will see what you seem or appear to be but only a few of them will truly understand or know who you really are through an encounter. Therefore always inform your decisions against the backdrop that in the course of your life, many will misunderstand you, misjudge you and above all, wrongly judge you based on their jaundiced perception of who you are because they do not truly know you and remember, it is most always very difficult for the many to be convinced by the few.

EDWIN UMEZOKE, ANOTHER NIGERIAN HIGH-UP DIES IN A FOREIGN HOSPITAL?

Icheoku says once again another Nigeria "big man" and former speaker of House of Representative in the second republic, Chief Edwin Umezoke has died in a foreign hospital in faraway India where he went on a medical pilgrimage only to give up his ghost. Umezoke was 76 years old and died lonely in a foreign land.Shamelessly, he is one of those Nigerians who had an opportunity to make some difference including in the health care services industry but didn't just because he could afford foreign medical services? Anyway death does not know who can travel to India to die or who would only afford that quack under Niger bridge head. As Icheoku extends our sympathy to the family of the bereaved, we urge Nigerian officials to strive to bring home to Nigeria those services they seek abroad. It is a shame that this medical tourism and pilgrimage is continuing till this day in Nigeria.

BOKO HARAM IS NORTHERN NIGERIANS SPONSORED TERRORIST OUTFIT.

Icheoku says the only reason those Northern Nigerian mullahs are hurriedly asking for JTF to leave Maiduguri and for amnesty to be granted those Islamic terrorists is because they are afraid the net is closing in on them. They are sponsors of Boko Haram Islamist terrorists and are afraid of being outed, hence the rush to get the menace over with quickly before they will be implicated. How can these mullahs suddenly open their mouths calling for security operations to end when Boko Haram is still setting off bombs and killing innocent Nigerians when they have been keeping quiet as the whirl wind they sowed blows everything wide apart. Icheoku says if only President Jonathan has what it takes to get at these uncircumsized desert dwellers and have them tried and shot for treason. Who is fooling who; and who are Boko Haram if not these mullahs parading themselves as leaders of the North?

AS NEW YORK GOES GAY-HO, CAN CHILDREN BE SPARED OF THE DRAMA?

Icheoku has no beef with who anyone chooses to love or marry, including cats and dogs or in some cases Sequoia trees; but it would be a fair practice not to overtly involve innocent children in the politics of gay marriage. This little angel has nothing to do with this and is very oblivious of what is going on and Icheoku suggests that whoever custodian that planted her to play this role should reconsider next time not to use a child in this manner. Just leave them out of adults politics, period. Anyway congratulations to all the New Yorkers Born this way on their historic day of tying the nuptials.

JONATHAN IS SIMPLY TIMID, HOSTING CAMERON IN LAGOS..

Icheoku says that trip to Lagos by President Goodluck Jonathan to host British Cameron is ill advised as Abuja is Nigeria's seat of power and if Cameron cannot accommodate a trip to Abuja, his meeting with the president should have been rescheduled for another more convenient future time. It is very demeaning indeed that the president should heed the Brit's preferred location of meeting and be the one going to meet Cameron instead of the other way round. Anyway, that is what happens when one usurps an office which is not naturally his at this time and have to pander to every Tom, Dick and Harry to appear to be in control, for protection and in order to be accepted. Aso Rock is Nigeria's 10 Downing Street and not State House Marina Lagos.

ALADE ABANIWONDA, A FRUSTRATED NIGERIAN POLITICIAN COMMITS SUICIDE?

Icheoku says, but why didn't someone tell this man that politics is a game of gain and lose; and that it is for gamblers and gamblers do not commit suicide just because they lost as there will always be a next time? Anyway, it is possible that it is the loans he owes the banks, with which he financed his both failed senatorial and ministerial ambitions, that actually pushed him over the ledge; except of course it is the African magic remote control that was used by his "enemies" to hypnotized him into taking his own life. Icheoku says it is cowardice for anyone to take one's own life and Al-Mustaim Alade Abaniwonda does not deserve anyone's sympathy. To the family however, our condolences.

SEAN HOARE, WHEN WHISTLE BLOWING COULD COST LIFE IN LONDON?

Icheoku hitherto thought that it was exclusive Russia's Kremlin to order hit on "enemies of the mother Russia"; but now it would appear that if that enemy is against a corporation, the same Russian treatment could be mete out to such loud-mouth? Just speculating as the British Police have so far not ruled anything in or out of the sudden death of the man who blew the lid off FoxNews owner Rupert Murdock's British company phone tapping scandal. Sean Hoare a former staffer was found dead in his home and icheoku joins millions of others in saying the coincidence at this time of bright searchlight being beamed on Mr Murdock's business practices in the UK is rather too surreal. So watch your backs, you rattle snakes out there waiting to pull the rug off the feet of your employers.

ATIKU ABUBAKAR, NOW MISTER "I HAVE BEEN VINDICATED?"

First he said that Ngozi Okonjo-Iwealla vindicated him on Nigeria's unhinged recurrent expenditure which gulps 75 percent of the revenue leaving little or nothing for investment on job creating ventures. Now he claims that Mallam El Rufai has also vindicated him on the "sell-off of Nigeria's assets going on under President Jonathan?" Icheoku calls on Nigerians to recall that Atiku himself did his fair share of privatization of Nigeria's assets while supervising same as Nigeria's vice president; so you now know who is pointing fingers!

GLENN BECK CHASED OUT OF NEW YORK, LANDS IN TEXAS!

Icheoku says now the racist white pig has finally rendezvous with his natural habitat where he can finally become fully initiated into the Ku Klux Klan. A poisonous and misleading talking-head who brought more odium and ridicule to FoxNews than credit. Anyway having been declared persona non grata in NYC, Texas provides a good dump for such bigoted piece of humanity and together with Governor Perry, they can now secede to their warped independent Aryan country of their ilks - those few stupid white people who think only them deserves a life. They can then exists as they deem fit but leave the rest of other decent humanity alone here in the United States of America. Good riddance of a bad rubbish both by the suddenly seemingly repentant FoxNews and the big apple, NYC.

YOUR MARRIAGE NOT WORKING, BE BOLD ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY..

"Be bold enough to end any relationship or marriage that is not working before it turns into a disaster" - Kolade Arowolo, accused wife killer. Icheoku says, regrettably, the accused did not or rather failed to heed his own advise and now stands accused in the murder of his wife Titilayo Arowolo. Call it a Monday night quarterbacking and if only hind-sight comes to the rescue; but that is a time-tested and time-honored solution that always worked - just be courageous to end it. Admitted it sometimes initially hurts but pains do go away and does not last forever.

MARIA CANNOT FORGIVE AND FORGET ARNOLD, FILES FOR DIVORCE.

From the Terminator that is. A man who terminated his own marriage by knocking up their house maid and fathering a child out of wedlock by her. This was simply too unbearable for the Kennedy niece; a matter made more painful because Arnold had the sexual dalliance with the house maid on Maria's matrimonial bed? Icheoku asks, but what happened to the Christian virtue of forgiveness, believing Maria Shriver-Kennedy Schwarzenegger is a Christian or is it the usual case of anyone remaining an angel provided no one ruffles their feathers? Anyway what is done is done; and walking out of a marriage cannot put the genie back into the bottle nor will it stop the Terminator from scoring chics; but Maria knows best. But does any marriage really work other than the facade most people put up just to get by in the society that is too judgmental.

APENA, JEGEDE'S WIFE IS DEAD!

Christy 'Apena' Essien-Igbokwe , the wife of Jegede Shokoya of the New Masquerade and Nigeria's lady of songs is dead; she was 51years old. Although her family claimed that "brief Illness" killed her like so many Nigerians; Icheoku retorts that it was most likely AKwa Ibom voodoo and remote control that was used to arrest her. It is on record that she had fallen out with the governor of her native Akwa Ibiom State and have been having a relentless war for political turf with the governor? So who knows whether she was sacrificed to Ekpe cult or even Alusi-Okija as an offal; afterall African science is still very much alive and portent. May her soul rest in peace.

CHIEF IMAM OF CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, SANUSI LAMIDO SANUSI

Now Nigerians know why a man whose educational training and specialization is Sharia was imposed on the Central Bank of Nigeria. Mallam or rather Imam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi studied Islamic Sharia implementation in Nigeria at a Sudanese Islamic University and less than a decade in the banking industry, he was severally elevated until his latest schtick at the CBN. His first order of business, to rewound all the progresses of the last ten years preparatory to implementing his Sharia Islamic Banking in a supposedly secular Nigeria. Icheoku is at a loss on the silence of President Jonathan as this Imam at the CBN forcibly imposes his warped ideological Islamic banking on Nigeria. The president should be man enough to fire this bank chief or better still take a strong position on this Islamic banking - if they do not like it, too bad.

IS THIS BLASPHEMY OR WHAT?

Icheoku wonders whether this pro-gay activist has gone off the reservation and strayed a little too far in his interpretation of the biblical teaching about Jesus Christ? Admitted that Jesus Christ figuratively had two fathers - God the father and Joseph the husband of Mary but to juxtapose same with the current effort for gays to marry is simply going too far. Icheoku supports anyone's right to marry anything including his dog, cat or even ferret and does not know society's interest in preventing anyone from experiencing torture masquerading as marriage. Let them lose their freedom just like other members of the society.

MITT ROMNEY GOES ROGUE ON REPUBLICANISM, WEAK ON SECURITY?

The RomneyCare former governor of Massachusetts and Republican Party's presidential nominee wanna-be lacks strong defense foreign policy credentials. He said Americas troops should not be used to help liberate peoples of the world and he forgot their primary objective. Icheoku says if this is all the Republican Party could offer; then get Icheoku our President Obama second inauguration T-shirt right now as we are ready to adorn it right away! What a huge joke or should we borrow Karl Rove's Donald Trump acronym "Joke Candidate!" who does not understand the fundamental tents of the Republican Party - strong defense!

AHMAN AL ZAWAHIRI, AL-QUEIDA'S NEW CEO?

Good enough the board of directors of the terrorist organisation, Al-Queida Inc., has appointed or promoted a well known face, the former number two to Osama Bin Laden, Alman Al Zawahiri as its new Chief Executive Officer and thereby stamping the bullseye on his back. The hunters of terrorists will not be encumbered trying to figure out who they are looking for; so America Navy Seal Team Six should be ready to mount another daring operation to take out this terror-chief any time from now. Icheoku believes that his hunt will not be as prolonged as the dead Bin Laden's and it is only a matter of time before a US made gun will be trailed on his chest or forehead which ever enters the cross-hairs first. What a sorry SOB this Egyptian doctor now terrorist chief is and Icheoku prays he joins Bin Laden, sleeping with the fishes, very soon and incapable of meeting with his 70 virgins!

BULGING CONGRESSMAN WEINER TEARS UP, IT SHOULD HAVE COME EARLIER!

Before hitting the send key! Icheoku says give it up to randy politicians and their ever-ready tears of a clown which freely flows each time they are caught pants down in the act. From the "I did not sleep with that woman, Monica Lewinsky" to Client 9 to Ensign etc, the play-act is always the same, first deny it and then blame the devil for making him do it with a fake tear. Anyway, Icheoku is not sitting on judgment over an overaged Fraternity guy displaying his endowment, but he should have been man enough to own up initially and not this belated with tears of supposed remorse!

THE STUFF LEGEND IS MADE OF, THE RIESTER TWINS DIE ON THE SAME DAY!

ANYIM PIUS ANYIM, THE NEW SGF

Icheoku says provided he will concentrate his effort at Abuja in helping President Jonathan to succeed and not use his newly found power to lord it over the people to Ebonyi State. This is usually the bane of Igbo politicians who cannot get along with one another and try to run each other out of town as they become absolutely intoxicated by power. Icheoku hopes the Nwodo-Chime turf war in Enugu will not replicate itself in Abakiliki between the new SGF and Governor Martin Elechi. Icheoku says, just remain 'part of the team of champions that are being putting in place to drive the transformation agenda' and it shall be well with you. On this understanding, our congratulations to the new Secretary of the Government of the Federation, Pius Anyim!

GEORGE TRON'S RAPE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE FRENCH MEN?

When the world is yet to grapple the sexual assault of Dominique Strauss-Kahn on a hotel janitor, here comes another French man and until recently, a minister in the French government of Monsieur Sarkozy, George Tron, being accused of rape by two French women? Icheoku says it must be in the French cheese and wine that such testateron that makes these French men too horny to beg that they just forcibly take it. Anyway give t up to the French in matters of the heart; but this violence on women is another terrifying dimension!

PRESIDENT OBAMA'S RITES OF PASSAGE, NOW HE IS PRESIDENT O'BAMA!

Icheoku says the Irish have 'stolen' President Barack Obama from the Kenyans as the president went home to Moneygall Ireland to take his rites of passage into becoming a full Irish man? At a town's pub, the president was offered the dark bitter brew which formally made him an Irish man. Icheoku asks, what are the Kenyans waiting for or don't they have some potion of their own to offer the president in their battle with the Irish as to who truly claims ownership of the president. Ladies and gentlemen, success has a lot of company indeed as one person is now being fought over by three continents!

OBAMA THREW ISRAEL UNDER THE BUS - MITT ROMNEY.

Icheoku asks is this always-ran GOP presidential nominee ever decisive or just floats like a plastic bag on matters of policy by pitching against whatever the other side is saying? The same man who signed into law, a health care for all in Massachusetts while a governor not too long ago, is now denying that there exist any benefit and advantage with healthcare for all; just because President Obama ko-towed his example? Still wondering why America does not trust Mitt Romney as he is too full of it; now he is acting more catholic than the pope with the Middle East crisis attacking a well considered reasonable and only meaningful state policy just announced by the president? Meanwhile he has not proffered any alternative solution to the festering Israeli-Palestine question on how best to resolve it except to maintain the stalemet and kicking the can down the road. Icheoku asks but for how long shall Israel be lied to or made to believe that any other solution exist? Oh Romney!

IMF CHIEF DOMINIQUE STRAUSS-KAHN, A PERVERT!

Icheoku says this Frenchman forgot that he was in America and also failed to take lessons from Bill Clinton's experience when he solicited a "Monica Lewinsky" from a maid in Manhattan! Dominique Strauss-Kahn was too cheap to call Elliot Spitzer for a lead to client number 9 service provider as he would rather spend his money on hotel suites than give it to a whore. Now he is keeping company with the law since America is not France or some other third world or Africa country where his influence would have been enough to give him a pass. Hopefully he will in addition to being convicted and sent away, be sued for civil damages which will be enough to free the maid from such future aggressive misbehavior of other high and powerful hotel guests; provided of course she is not intimidated into silence by the hotel or some private detectives hired by the defense lawyers to dig into her past including whether she is living in the country illegally. Anyway what a peek into the arrogant life of the rich and powerful who think the world and its underlings are theirs to dominate. What a poor horny-dog French man, this Dominique is!

PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN, CAN IGBOS CONTINUE TO TRUST THIS MAN?

Or is it about time they took their red cap and go their own way? DSP Alamesigha trusted him and he lost the governorship of Bayelsa? Umaru Yar'Adua trusted him and he lost the presidency; now the Igbos trusted him and they have lost the Speakership of the House of Representatives and by extension, a seat at the table of power. Icheoku says it is in their DNA as there appears to be still no love lost between the Niger Delta minorities and their supposed big brother in the Southeast. Anyway what can Icheoku tell you except that the Southeast Igbos appears to have been 419ed by this man!

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL RACE 2012, HUCKABEE CHICKENS OUT!

Icheoku says Mike Huckabee correctly read the handwriting on the wall that there is no way in hell Republicans can beat President Barack Obama in 2012 and that he personally does not stand any chance of being nominated as the Republican flag bearer, hence his decision to take the easy way out. Icheoku says this former Arkansas governor is a smart alec and knows when not to fight an already assured lost battle. So with Mikey now out of the way, that is one person less the several presidential wanna-bes including Donald Trump, who want to change their address to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Way to go Mikey and it does not matter if your heart or head or pocket said the NO.

HORRIFIC AND INCREDIBLE, AS MOM FRIES BABY IN A MICROWAVE OVEN!

Once again those who said that looks could be deceptive have been proved right as this rather attractive woman turned out to be a devil incarnate herself. Her name is China Arnold and she was recently convicted of aggravated murder in the death of her daughter, 28-day-old Paris Talley in August 2005; whom she fried alive in a microwave oven reaching 108 degrees. Icheoku says before you make that leap of fate on a supposedly found love interest, pause and ponder; as anyone would have so easily taken this monster home thinking he has found a future life partner. Now you know why her boyfriend made a dash for his dear life as any woman who is capable of roasting her own child, whom she carried in her womb for nine long months, in a microwave oven is capable of causing other grievous bodily harm to any other including the slicing off of the genitilias. Oh daughters of Eve, why do you stomach such anger under your belly?

BUHARI'S MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY CAUSED THE VIOLENCE - JEGA!

AYMAN AL-ZAWAHIRI NEXT IN THE LINE OF FIRE, A DEAD MAN WALKING!

Icheoku says it is only a matter of time before Al-Querida number two terrorist-in-chief, Ayman Muhammad Rabaie al-Zawahiri is delivered justice. The fugitive can hide as the coward he is but the long reach of the United States intelligence assets will find him and the special forces will nail him. Good enough number one is now gone so that makes it easy to concentrate assets on locating and dispatching number two. What a fumbling maggot this animal is that touched the tail of the tiger and having murdered sleep, can sleep no more until he assumes room temperature preparatory to his sleeping with the fishes! The good thing is that he will be easily recognizable and will require no DNA or facial recognition or any kind; just look at that forehead mark!

MARK TONER, STATE DEPARTMENT DESERVES BETTER?

Icheoku is just wondering whether Mark Toner is the best the States Department could find as their spokesman? His elucidation and clarity of statements is not the best there is or ever was; and he is somewhat shy or lacks confidence that eye contact usually is an issue. To some extent Mark Toner shares some uncanny 'mouth/facial' resemblance to United States Ambassador to the United Nations, Dr Susan Rice that were they of the same race, Icheoku would have concluded they were related. Anyway, Icheoku says the State Department could use a better spokesperson to more succinctly get the message out and across; as the current one, Mark Toner falls awfully too short.

SECRETS TO CREATING JOBS IN NIGERIA.

Icheoku says to President Goodluck Jonathan and the governors looking to create jobs in Nigeria to just look at what works overseas and try replicating same in Nigeria. That way the millions of unemployed and under-employed, ready to work manpower, will be find something to do and with it comes added revenue for the government via taxation. Any consultant worth his'her paycheck, hired by the government to push job creation agenda forward, will find so many untapped and under-resourced jobs waiting to be easily added to the Nigerian economy. These jobs do not necessarily have to be Iphone and Ipad inventing type of jobs; but a job that pays its workers some decent wages and benefits.

ACF CONGRATULATES JONATHAN, NOW BUHARI IS RUNNING ON EMPTY?

First it was Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida, followed by Atiku Abubakar and now Arewa Consultative Forum thumping Muhammadu Buhari's delusional assertion of election victory? The three entities, powerhouse and champions of the Northern agenda-driven zoning, having now congratulated President Jonathan on his victory, have by necessary implication, deflated Buhari's "victory" balloon. Icheoku asks, who is then left to serve as witnesses to Buhari's fantasy claim to the last presidential election victory?

NO SHRINE FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN, DEMOLISH HIS DEATH HOME NOW!

Icheoku calls on the Pakistani authorities to bulldoze the home where Osama Bin Laden lived and met his final waterloo in Abottabad. That way his heinous legend will be wiped away without anything physical to continuously remind the world of him. If the structure is not demolished, his fanatical followers might find it a Mecca of some sort, where they will go to pay homage to their hero, the villain of the world. Remember his blood was spilled there, so he is still there in some form; so leaving the building standing could defeat the essence of his watery interment as it could still be converted into a shrine in his honor. If the Pakistanis will not do it themselves, may be America should or make them do it at the pain of paying dearly for harboring the world's most notorious fugitive. Icheoku says, demolish that building now and completely erase his memory - a building where Bin Laden hid in plain sight and with the 'support' of the Pakistani authorities for more than five long years while America was led on a wild goose chase of him through the rugged terrains of Afghanistan and where he shed his blood should not be left standing!

KILLING OF BIN LADEN, A SWEET REVENGE!

SULTAN JOINS ISSUES WITH ORITSEJAFOR, FAILS TO CONDEMN BUHARI?

The Sultan of Sokoto Caliphate and head of Muslims in Nigeria, Mohamed Sa'ad Abubakar has taken side in the post election mayhem which engulfed Northern Nigeria. It is apparent that the mullah saw nothing wrong in what Buhari said that ultimately triggered the riots and denied it was religious? Icheoku says this Sultan is being economical with the truth in insisting that the riot was not Islamic religion tinged; otherwise why was it not nationally spread but localized in Sharia Islamic Northern Nigeria? Also if this Sultan is dispassionate and have no dog in the fight, why was he not courageous enough to call out Buhari on his statement, encouraging and instigating his followers to lynch people who disagrees with his Islamic agenda in Nigeria? Anyway, the wax which the British colonial masters used to band-aid the humpty-dumpty called Nigeria is gradually melting away by the actions of these Muhmammadu Buhari led street urchins and pretty soon, the rest of Nigerians will make their minds up on the way forward; but these incessant slaughter of defenseless Nigerians in their country cannot go on unabated whether or not the Sultan and his acolytes likes it.

JUST WONDERING, IF IBORI WHY NOT ATIKU?

Icheoku says if the former governor of Delta State James Onanefe Ibori could be extradited to London for money laundering related charges, why not extend the same treatment to Atiku Abubakar, who is allegedly wanted in the United States for similar offenses? Just thinking out aloud or have the US Department of Justice not requested for Atiku to be handed over to face his alleged criminal charges yet; afterall his point-man Representative William Jefferson of Louisiana is since cooling off in prison for his role in the Atiku reef. So Icheoku asks, when will Abubakar Atiku go to the United States or be shipped off there?

OHAKIM THROWS IGBO AGENDA UNDER THE BUS, SAYS BUHARI CAN BE PRESIDENT IN 2015?

Icheoku calls out Governor Ikedi Ohakim of Imo State for siding with the enemy - the governor said Buhari can be president of Nigeria in 2015. The governor has by this put on ice the chances of the Igbo nation realizing their 2015 agenda of producing a president of Nigeria of Igbo extraction. Icheoku condemns this statement by Governor Ikedi Ohakim, except it was a miscommunication or the purport was lost in translation. Icheoku affirms that the Igbo agenda 2015 is still on course and full stream, irrespective of the the fact of President Jonathan's electoral victory 2011 and whether or not Ikedi Ohakim likes it.

What a foot in the mouth!

BIRTHER IS A BRIDGE TOO FAR - ARIZONA GOVERNOR BREWER.

BUHARI IS A NOOSE ON NIGERIA, SO DO NOT HELP PLACE IT.

"The grounds on which Buhari is being promoted as the alternative choice are not only shaky, but pitifully naive. History matters, records are not kept simply to assist the weakness of memory, but to operate as guides to the future. Canvassing for Buhari's presidency based on his supposed records is one of the most depressing argument that I ever encountered from people trying to place a political noose around the country’s neck with a Buhari's presidency." - Professor Wole Soyinka. Icheoku says the Nobel Laurette was right then and is again right now; just don't do it. SAY NO TO BUHARI.

ACN/CPC ALLAINCE COLLAPSE, AN ACT OF GOD.

Icheoku says don't blame the refusal of Pastor Tunde Bakare to sign away the vice presidency to Bola Tinubu as the reason for the collapse of the purported alliance. No, it was simply an act of God intervening for President Goodluck Jonathan which hardened the heart of Tunde Bakare like Pharaoh Herod. May be Godwin Daboh was afterall right that any weapon fashioned against President Jonathan shall fail; and so it is that the mother of all alliances between ACN and CPC against Jonathan has now also failed. IBB was first to go, followed by Atiku and now Buhari is on a cliff-hanger!

NATO DOES NOT OWE LIBYAN REBELS A THING, HAS ALREADY DONE ENOUGH!

Icheoku says Benghazi General Abdul Fattah Younis and his rag-tag so called rebels should stop behaving as if anybody sent them to take up arms against their country's government. These rebels have been complaining that NATO is not doing enough and they failed to say when it was that they employed NATO to do their dirty job for them? NATO promised to stop a possible Benghazi massacre and that they did, but for this rebellious soldier and his group to now become cry-babies each time Gaddafi's forces responds to their provocation, accusing NATO of not doing enough makes Icheoku sick. They want power, they should go and get it and not wait in the lurch for NATO to do all the heavy lifting for them to now come and enjoy; after which they will start burning flags and effigies of Western countries and their leaders. Icheoku says NATO has done enough and should withdraw except Younis and his Libyan rebels undersigns to pay for the effort, period.

MUHAMMADU BUHARI, A MURDERER?

Icheoku says we are all Bartholomew Owoh, Lawal Ojuolape and Bernard Ogedengbe at this moment their killer wants to be elected president of Nigeria. Innocent Nigerians murdered in cold blood by then coup plotting head of state and now CPC Presidential candidate Muhammadu Buhari and we demand justice. We are not mad that drug-dealing was made a death penalty offense by Muhammadu Buhari but that we peddled drugs when it was not so punishable, yet this tyrant promulgated Decree 20 of 1984 and retroactively subsumed our offense under the decree and killed us. Nigerians you are now our only voice left in the land of the living, so please help us register our displeasure at this unconscionable murders by not voting for BUHARI.

MUHAMMADU BUHARI, THE TROUBLE WITH NIGERIA!

Icheoku says Nigeria's parlous state today could be traced to Muhammadu Buhari, who in 1983, violently aborted Nigeria's second republic democracy. Icheoku said violently because one of the coup plotters Major General Bako, who was sent to Aso Rock to arrest President Shehu Shagari was shot to death by Brigade of Guards in Aso Rock. Since December 31st 1983 when Muhammadu Buhari's junta struck, Nigeria has never known peace or progress as it was repeatedly bastardized by a retinue of army men led by Ibrahim Babangida, Sani Abacha and Abdulsalam Abubakar. Their tenure brought the nightmare Nigeria is yet to fully awake from in order to chart a new direction. Icheoku therefore affirms that Buhari is the change that Nigerians need and desire to make; so his slogan is right that says Buhari4Change. Nigerians should therefore change Buhari by rejecting Buhari and his curse of military intervention that put Nigeria several decades behind. BUHARI4CHANGE, CHANGE BUHARI; DO NOT VOTE FOR AN ANTI-DEMOCRACY DESPOT, BUHARI.

BUHARI FOR CHANGE, YOU'RE RIGHT.

Icheoku pleads with Nigerians not to buy into the hogwash that Buhari is for change as Buhari is the reason why Nigerians what to change. Nigerians want to change from military dictatorship or any semblance of it. Buhari overthrew Alhaji Shehu Shagari democratically elected government in December 31, 1983 and heralded the successive Babangida, Abacha and Abdulsalam military regimes. Buhari is therefore a military man and will run an exclusive government instead of the all inclusive government democracy entails. Buhari has blood of innocent Nigerians in his hand. Buhari is corrupt otherwise where did he get the money for a presidential campaign run? Buhari is anti freedom of the press and the people, remember Decree 4 that sent Nduka Irabor and Thompson Maduka to prison. Nigerians do not suffer amnesia as you go to the polls to elect the next president. Just remember the hands dealt you by Obasanjo and reject another military dictator from ever coming back to power. REJECT BUHARI, DO NOT VOTE FOR BUHARI

DAVID SCHUBERT, A HOLIER THAN THOU DISTRICT ATTORNEY?

JAPAN, NO WHALING NO TSUNAMI!

JAPAN IMPENDING NUCLEAR MELTDOWN, A CASE OF FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER?

Icheoku queries whether the world has created a Frankenstein Monster with nuclear energy without devising a safe-mode of handling it? The impending nuclear apocalypse in Fukushima Dai-ichi is proving one such monster that even the scientists who brought it about do not seem to know how to contain the increasing temperature therein, leading to a possible meltdown. Does Chernobyl and Mile three Island ring any bell? It is a pity the triple tragedy Japan has been hit with at the same time - an 8.9 magnitude earthquake, a treacherous tsunami and now a nuclear meltdown in the offing. Icheoku prays God Almighty to please forgive the Japanese whatever sin they may have committed to warrant these rage. One natural disaster is more than enough but two plus a scientific one is just too many. Please help Japan at this hour of great need, donate today through the Red Cross. Their need is dire and every dime counts. Icheoku has donated and encourage you to donate today!

JAPANESE EARTHQUAKE GOOD FOR GADDAFI, GIVES HIM A BREAK!

A popular aphorism goes that one man's meat is another man's poison and so, the tragedy which befell Japan may ironically turn into a cause-celebre for Moummar Gaddafi's government. At least it has for the moment taken the searchlight off the Libyan strongman and he could use this opportunity of great distraction to take his country back from those "medicated al-Querida sponsored invaders" who are fermenting trouble in his land. Anyway with so much on the plate of the world especially America coupled to the reluctance of Russia, China and Italy to follow through with punishing or removing Gaddafi, Icheoku says that Director of National Intelligence may be right that Moummar Gaddafi may afterall survival the putsch to take him out. France recognition of the rebels notwithstanding, since France is not a major world player, Gaddafi seems more confident than ever of a successful reclaim of his Libya from those "few dissenters and trouble-makers?" Icheoku like the rest of the world is waiting and watching to see how the Libyan revolution turned civil war is finally concluded..

FRENCH PRESIDENT GOES ON TRIAL!

Former French President Jacques Chirac has been charged with embezzlement, breach of trust and conflict of interest, based on allegations linked to his tenure as Paris Mayor long before he began his presidency. The former president was alleged to have corruptly paid his cronies for jobs which did not exist and for which they claimed to have worked - akin to Nigeria's ghost workers; except that in this case the ghost workers were visible and the jobs were the real ghosts - call it ghost jobs!

BUHARI ADVOCATES MAYHEM, SIMPLY TOO EXTREME FOR NIGERIA.

A man notorious for his disregard of the rule of law, CPC presidential candidate Imam Muhammadu Buhari has asked his supporters to take the law into their hands and lynch anybody who tries to tinker with their votes!" Icheoku says this is the man who wants to rule Nigeria, advocating mayhem and extra-judicial murder in the same way he murdered three innocent Nigerians Bartholomeow Owo, Ojulope and Ogendegbe with a retroactive decree. Simply put, Buhari is just too extreme for Nigeria and should be rejected. Nigerians say no to Buhari!

CHARLIE SHEEN'S CRY FOR HELP, STRONG INTERVENTION NEEDED.

Icheoku says Brittany Spears was once going off the cliff in the same manner as the crazed-out "Two and half men" star but was saved by the intervention of the courts and his father. This is what is required now in order to pull the cliff-hanger, Charlie Sheen, back on his footing. His drug abuse, weirdness and such other outrageous behavior is simply a cry for help as there is something going on with his internals more than the eyes can see that needs urgent help. Icheoku says the remedy is simple, just get Charlie Sheen the desired help he desperately needs. If Brittany Spears could be saved, so could Charlie Sheen.

MICHAEL HUCKABEE'S BIRTHER COMMENT, NOT A MISSPOKE!

Icheoku says what Michael Huckabee said concerning the growing up of President Barack Obama in Kenya was not a misspoke as his minders have tried to claim. What he said is in furtherance of the birthers claim that President Obama is not an American and Huckabee only reiterated that while putting into words what his dark-mind agrees with. According to the once over-weight mediocre Republican Party's presidential candidate, speaking of President Obama, "I would love to know more, but what I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example's very different than the average American." Icheoku fires back that Michael Huckabee is deliberately raising again the rested issue of President Obama's birthplace and even the Indonesia where the president spent some of his childhood, he was not there long enough for his formative years. It is another untruthful Michael Huckabee throwing the proverbial redmeat. The good news however is that he does not stand a chance at winning the Republican Party's nomination in 2012.

MAXIMILLIAN EZIMORA, ANOTHER NIGERIAN MAN IN AMERICA SHOOTS HIS NURSE-WIFE.

It is pitiable that such wife shooting is still going on among Nigerian men living in America. One would expect that by this time these lowlifers would have learnt their lesson that these nurses are better left alone and if America becomes too excruciating there is a place called Nigeria to run back to. But unfortunately Maximillian Ezimora is an incompetent shooter as his five close range shots failed to nail his target - the victim-wife survived. Wife shooter Ezimora, residing in Atlanta Georgia has been arrested and detained at Fulton County Georgia for attempted murder of his wife, Uchenna Ezimora RN, and will be charged to court shortly. Mr Ezimora is a native of Adazi, Anambra State, South Eastern Nigeria and manages the family’s grocery store, Maxing Groceries, 337 Fletcher Street SW Atlanta. Icheoku says another pitiful Nigerian man who could not take care of business and decided to rob his wife of her registered nurse overtime money. Hopefully the wife will survive her injuries.

"IBB IS LIKE A FATHER TO ME" - PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN

Icheoku says President Jonathan's choice just got weirder; what a sour taste he has left in the mouths of many of his admirers and millions of Nigerians alike by wishing that an evil-genius was his father? Anyway Olusegun Obasanjo must be green with envy at this disclosure by his adopted political son that he is not good enough to be Jonathan's father and that Jonathan prefers IBB, his rival for a father? Icheoku says this President Jonathan must have the diarrhea of the mouth and seem not to weigh his utterances much; otherwise why remind Nigerians at this critical stage of his campaign that IBB is his father? Like father like son, so Jonathan cannot be trusted?

ICHEOKU CONGRATULATES CHICAGO MAYOR-ELECT RAHM EMANUEL.

The Mr. Fix-It of the Democratic Party, former President Bill Clinton's White House staffer, former Congressman and former President Barack Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, has won the Chicago mayoral race. Rahm convincingly won the election with almost a land-slide 58% of the votes. Icheoku like every other pundit knew his victory was a fait accompli; hence the fight against the attempt to disqualify his candidacy on grounds of residency. Anyway, congratulations Mayor Rahm Emanuel and may the lights of Chicago continue to shine and never go dim under your leadership.

WISCONSIN PROTEST, ICHEOKU HAS NO SYMPATHY.

Like the popular saying goes, you get what you pay for; and so it is that many of those protesting Union members in Madison never cared or did not work hard enough during the last election to prevent and preempt what is going on now. Their inaction led to the coming to power of a man who is indifferent to their cause; and suddenly they are protesting. Icheoku says, it is too little too late as their protest would have been more effective earlier on, by stopping the election of a Republican governor who does not get the back of the little guys.

MOHAMED SANI ABACHA, SON OF A DICTATOR REWARDED WITH A GOVERNORSHIP TICKET?

Icheoku says when Nigerians think they have seen and heard the last of the maverick Imam Muhammadu Buhari, he has again thrown one of his inexplicable balls. He decided to rehabilitate a dictator's family by allowing the son to fly his party's governorship ticket in Kano State. Mohamed Sani Abacha, son of Nigeria's most hated despot, the bespectacled midget dictator from Kano State, Sani Abacha, secured the Congress for Progressive Change ticket. Icheoku says what a bad way to remind Nigerians the pain they went through under Sani Abacha; except that Buhari never saw anything wrong with the viciousness of that late dictator!

PACKERS IS IT, CHAMPIONS SUPER-BOWL XLV

WITH ISRAEL, IT IS CATCH-22 FOR ALL ARAB COUNTRIES?

Love them or hate them, you are screwed if you are an Arab country. Saddam Hussein's Iraq hated them so much and for most part, he was hung like a dog in Baghdad. Now Egypt's Hosni Mubarak is being hounded out of power by his own people for his dalliance with the Israelis? Icheoku says it would appear that for any Arab country there is no good alternative as it concerns Israel; but we believe that this problem could be solved with a peace deal with the Arabs beginning with Palestine! So is anyone in Tel Aviv listening?

JULIANI CARDENAS, DROWNED BY HIS FATHER OVER QUARREL WITH MOTHER?

Icheoku says may the soul of the innocent 4 year old angel now rest in peace. Whatever quarrel that may have led to a raging father drowning this lovely bear in a filthy irrigation canal in Paterson California USA is mind-boggling indeed. Parents can you please stop using your children as a weapon in your fight with one another as they did not ask you guys to marry nor to bring them to this world only to end their life in such horrible manner by a dad from hell. May his little soul rest in peace!

ICHEOKU SAYS, WE ARE ALL EGYPTIANS AND WE WANT MUBARAK GONE!

TRADING PLACES:- THE SARAKI SIBLINGS EXCHANGE OFFICES?

In Kwara(Saraki) State of Nigeria, a brother and eight year termed out governor of the state and his sister also eight years termed out senator of the state have traded places. The brother will now switch sides and become a senator while the sister will do the same and become a governor each taking over the other's vacating office. Such things are possible in banana republics like Nigeria and in a state which has been hijacked by the Saraki family; and for them it does not matter what millions of other Kwara State indigenes think about it. Icheoku says it would appear that their father and patriarch of the family, Olusola Saraki, has already paid the purchase price for the state and will soon formally change its name from Kwara State to Saraki State! What an absurdity?

GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE AND SIX OTHERS MURDERED IN NIGERIA!

Icheoku says it is about time President Goodluck Jonathan apologizes to Nigerians and the former IGP Ogbonna Onovo who he fired because of insecurity in the country, for the continuing and exacerbating insecurity in the land. The president fired IGP Onovo and hired his man Hafz Ringim to stem the incessant loss of lives in the hands of hoodlums in Nigeria; but not only did it not abate, it has multiplied ten-folds. Icheoku says the president has failed in the joker of Ringim and should apologize to Onovo for preempting his effort at tackling the insecurity in the country as his replacement is not up to the task and should consider possibly reinstating him to the office. A governorship candidate Fanami Gubio and a brother to a sitting governor with four others wasted in this brazen manner in public view during the day is the height of insecurity in any given society. It is very unfortunate indeed!

"THIS IS OUR GENERATION'S SPUTNIK MOMENT" - PRESIDENT OBAMA.

JACK LALANNE, MISTER FITNESS, DEAD AT 96.

DARRELL ISSA, NOT FIT TO PRESIDE OVER HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE?

Icheoku says with his antecedents of criminal behavior considered, Republican Darrell Issa of California 49th congressional district may not afterall be the fit and proper person to be chairman of the House of Representatives Oversight Committee. A person with questionable past including arrests for weapons possessions, suspicions of arson and insurance scam, accusations of intimidation with a gun and who was involved with stealing cars and such other crimes is not a good example for the society to have been made a committee chairman; especially that of Oversight. But hey, Republicans have a peculiar way of always rehabilitating their owns.

RUSSIA OUT, CHINA IN AS AMERICA REDEFINES PARTNER NUMERO UNO?

The President of 1.6billion Chinese people, Hu Jintao was feted at the White House by America's President Barack Obama and his government. It was sumptuous as it was stately and Icheoku believes Kremlin will be gleeing in envy of having lost the number 2 position in the world, relegated to now third or possibly fourth or even fifth depending on how one views Britain, France and Germany's relationship with America. Anyway with their economic muscle and the needs of their 1.6 billion people as a bargaining tool, it is easy to see why China is now the it. Welcome to America Hu; as the civil rights of Tibetans, Falun Gong and over 1 billion human-beings of Chinese stork can wait while the way out of the economic malaise is given some stately attention. The way of the world?

PIERCE MORGAN IS NO LARRY KING.

If CNN's intention is to find a replacement for the suspenders-man, then they bombed as this Brit ain't no Larry King as he is too drab to light the sparks. Anyway it is his second day on the job and Icheoku is tuned in and will be watching to see if it was a case of a beginner's initial cold-feet in a new media-land. Icheoku hopes too that he will get serious with real personalities doing serious interviews and not these soft-ball girlie chit-chatting witnessed this past two days. Goodluck Morgan with your new gig, but get serious!

NWODO FORCED TO EAT THE HUMBLED PIE, KICKED OUT OF OFFICE.

From his position of obstinate insistence of all or nothing at all in Enugu State PDP, the greedy chairman of the PDP Okwy Nwodo has been kicked out of office and will possibly face trial for some misdemeanor. The buffoon mistook his newly found power as impetus to dictate to certain people; and in the process forgot that somebody and some people made him the chairman of the PDP. Like the dog whom the gods want to kill that stops smelling feces, Nwodo overreached himself with the attempted usurping of his godfather's powers to ordain party officials in Enugu State. Now he has paid a huge price like all unsuccessful dissidents, and he has now been consigned to the history garbage bin of a once was chairman of party. Icheoku bemoans this case of another banana-peel victim of Igbo people unable to understand the art of the game and play it as it should be played. First was Vincent Ogbulafor and now Okwesilieze Nwodo - two chairmen of PDP just within few years and Nwodo barely survived for six months? Icheoku says Nwodo deserves what he got and should also in addition be made to face trial for his role in the fraudulent embezzlement of over $200million at the National Identity Cards project. What an uncalculating humanoid, this man is!

MICHAEL STEELE OUT, REPUBLICANS ROMANCE WITH BLACKS IS OVER?

It is back to the 'good ole white boys only' as the "nigger" chairman who refused to know his place is finally thrown out of office. Micheal Steele who supervised the insurgent Tea Party Republicans take-over of the House did not do enough or right by Republican White establishment, hence they threw him under the bus despite his accomplishment. He was simply not a fit for the all white male dominated Republican Party. In his place they elected one of their own Reince Priebus and rejected even the candidate endorsed by the forced out Steele, Mario Cino. Icheoku says, no matter how anyone tries, if you are not like them and do not look like them, you are never good enough for them; so long Mike.

AN UNGRATEFUL NWODO SACKED AS PARTY CHAIRMAN!

Icheoku says Nwodo disappointed so many Enuguans when he went to Abuja riding on the co-tail of Sullivan Chime and got greedy. However he forgot that the governor is still in charge in Enugu and so much water could still pass under the bridge. Now that the JOKER has been thrown, it is game-over for the obtuse power-grabber. If only he knew that his downfall could still be orchestrated through the courts, may be he could have been more circumspect in challenging his 'Chi' to a fight. Icheoku says, let Enugu people see who now laughs last.

BURNT OFFERINGS PULLED, STORY NOT CONFIRMED.

Icheoku wants to thank Fatima Aminu for pointing out the error on our story, 'Burnt Offerings'; and accordingly we have pulled the story now convinced that our source overreached. Icheoku regrets going to the press, based on our usually impeccable source, without further verifying the story. Once again, our thanks to Fatima Aminu for pointing out the fact and for being a fan. There was no deliberate intention on our part to sensationalize the story or otherwise be divisive in our commentary. Together we shall overcome!

IGBO PEOPLE IN JOS NIGERIA, DEFEND YOURSELVES!

Icheoku calls on Igbo people in Jos, Plateau State, Nigeria to treat the insecurity situation which is continuously claiming their lives in the north for what it is - a failed state of lawlessness. It is very obvious that the Nigeria state cannot provide security for her citizens, so such citizens can resort to self-help to help save themselves from an assured extinction. They should defend themselves by and using all means necessary:- just apply the 'Kano 83' solution and see the Jos problem go away forever. Icheoku says, enough of being cry-babies; defend your honor and manhood, rise up and defend yourselves today and quit whining!

SHERIFF CLARENCE DUPNIK, STANDING UP FOR COMMON SENSE.

Icheoku says Rush Limbaugh turned into a hell's fury as he defensively attacked a statement which inferred that the Tucson violence could be traced to vitriolic statements coming out of political leaders, especially the right. If only Rush Limbaugh could make out time to think and understand that the absence of evidence does not necessarily mean that the crime was not committed and just take a deep breath. Icheoku says Pima County Arizona which includes Tucson has a wonderful stand-up sheriff in Sheriff Clarence Dupnik and his well articulated statement that acerbic talk-show statements help bring about such ugly incidents as Tucson's is quite incontrovertible!.

'PRESIDENT JONATHAN IS NOT GOOD FOR NIGERIA' - OLU FALAE

President Traian Basescu, scared of Romanian witches' spell?

Romania, the land that produced Nicolae Ceauşescu, the spirit of the Danube River and dictator extraordinaire, is once again in the news. The country's witches and wizards, and they are legion, are threatening to cast spell on the president and government of Romania for daring to impose taxes on them. To ward off the impending evil spell and curses, the president now adorns purple outfits for protection. Icheoku says, Romania is an European country that is supposedly civilized to have outgrown superstitions; and these broom and stick travelers were unable to cast a spell on French Sarkozy when he recently expelled their countrymen and women from France. Just for the heck of it, does anybody know whether Christie O'Donnel, the failed Tea Party senatorial candidate form Delaware is a Romanian gypsy by ancestry?

'EXECUTE MICHAEL VICK' SAYS FOXNEWS TUCKER CARLSON?

Tucker Carlson of FoxNews said Philadelphia Eagles quarterback 'Michael Vick should have been executed for torturing dogs? Also that Mr. Vick is comparable to a child molester?' Icheoku says this crazed-out pig must be out of his mind in desiring that killing or torturing of dogs should attract a death penalty; or is it a case of a racist, hating a 'nigger' so much, that he preferred him better dead. Where is the equivalency of the crime and his prescribed punishment here? And before Mr. Vick could become a child molester, Mr. Carlson must have fathered dogs or have children who are dogs or have dogs for children. What a raving lunatic that should be confined in a cold asylum!

ICHEOKU CONGRATULATES GOVERNOR JERRY BROWN OF CALIFORNIA!

Now a third term governor of the once golden state of California, Governor Jerry Brown has now broken two records - once as the youngest 34th Governor at 36years and now the oldest 39th Governor at 72 years. He has also the record of taking over both times from movie stars - Ronald Reagan in 1975 and now Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2011. Governor Brown is the son of former two-term governor of California Edmund G. Brown and he has paid his political dues too from being a two term former governor, secretary of state, attorney general and mayor of Oakland. He once practiced Buddhism in Japan and also worked with Mother Teresa in India showcasing his meekness and humility. At 72 he sure looks good and his aunt at 98-years even looks better; what a longevity gene that runs in the Brown family. Icheoku says, congratulations to the oldest but youthful governor of California.

APB ON NORTHERN NIGERIA AND IRAQ!

BOBBY FARRELL OF BONEY M, DEAD ON RUSSIAN-TOUR AT 61.

He was born in Caribbean Aruba as Alphonso Farrell but took the stage-name Bobby as the lead act in the 1974 plus Disco-era top earner Boney M. He was the alter-ego and chief act of the quartet, comprised of three ladies and one man, himself; a group founded by the German singer and songwriter Frank Farian, who actually sings those songs while Bobby mimes and acts them on stage. The group recorded series of top hits but Icheoku's favorite is 'Brown girl in the ring'. Though Boney M original group broke up in 1986, but Bobby kept on his music career as Bobby Farrell's Boney M which was touring Russian when he gave up the ghost. The late man among women was more girlie(feminine) than the girls of Boney M, which helped captivate more audience world-wide who were thrilled at his energy performance still looking sissy. Bobby was an act and his global fans will surely miss him, some of who have already purchased tickets for his current world tour but like Michael Jackson's "This is it", will also not be able to see their idol. Icheoku says, Adieu Mister Mesmerizer extraordinaire!

MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY TO REMAIN A PRISONER FOR FEW MORE YEARS

HUGH HEFNER TAKES YET ANOTHER WIFE, A GRANDDAUGHTER BRIDE?

Playboy extra-ordinaire, Hugh Hefner is tired of remaining a bachelor and has engaged a girl young enough to be his great granddaughter as his future bride. Hefner, 84, is getting married again to Crystal Harris, 24 and you wonder what 60 years age differential got to do with it? This will be the third marriage for Hefner with the first being in 1949 to wife number 1, Mildred with whom he has children ages 58 and 55. He divorced her in 1959 and waited 30 years till 1989 when he took wife number two Kimberley Conrad with whom he has two sons ages 10 and 9 before divorcing her in 2009. Icheoku wishes this guy who understands how to really live life, happy adventure number three and at 84, hey!

SIMONE EHIVET-GBAGBO, BEHIND HUSBAND'S REFUSAL TO QUIT?

Icheoku says behind every despot there is a Lady-Macbeth goading and pushing him on against his will. So please take a good look at the woman who has so far made it impossible for former Ivorien President Laurent Gbagbo to throw in the towels. Former Ivory Coast First Lady, Simone Gbagbo, seen here gesticulating, is the real voice of dissent behind the face of former President Gbagbo's refusal to quit power. Icheoku hopes and prays that Simone Gbagbo will be the first African Lady Nicolae Ceausescu of Romania and volunteer to suffer the fate of her husband in the final event he is tried and convicted for his atrocities against the people of Ivory Coast. Icheoku calls on the former first lady to do right by her husband and allow him to concede defeat now!

GBAGBO, TAKE HIM OUT NOW!

Africa has enough of his type (sit-tight leaders) already and this Gbagbo must not be allowed to augment their numbers. Icheoku is surprised that marines and special unit forces have not already started rappelling down into Abidjan to take out the defiant Gbadabo who is currently thumbing his bloody nose on the whole world. There should be no negotiation with this African wanna-be sit tight leader. Enough of the Mwai Kibakis, Robert Mugabe etc of Africa. France Gerdames should show the way and now is the time as everyday goes by leads to a total breakdown of law and order in Ivory Coast.

LAURENT GBAGBO, TAKE HIM OUT - ODINGA

'Gbagbo must be forced out of office, even if it means using military means to get rid of him. The AU must start taking seriously the situation in Ivory Coast instead of just lamenting; as Democracy must be preserved.” - Raila Odinga, Prime Minister of Kenya. Icheoku agrees that all options must be on the table and that this sit-tight wanna be Ivorien must not be allowed to take down Ivory Coast with him as Taylor did with Liberia. Odinga equally is a man of great experience, himself having been similarly situated by an unwilling President Mwai Kibaki who refused to yield office. Now is the time to cut Gbagbo loose from office using any and every means necessary since there is no other acceptable solution but his exit.

DORA AKUNYILI JUMPS SHIP!

The feisty lady of Nigeria, professor of pharmacology, take-no-prisoner NAFDAC chairwoman, information minister who attempted to re-brand a non-existing brand and the woman who single-handedly jump-started the beginning of the end of late President Umaru Yar'Adua's presidential absentism, Dora Akunyili, has resigned her office, her political party membership of the PDP and has gone over to APGA; she will contest for a senate seat under her new party. Icheoku wishes her well and observes that hers appears to be the first time a seating minister voluntarily resigned office in Nigeria. Goodluck Madam re-branding!

LT. COL. TERRENCE LAKIN, AN ANTI-OBAMA SOLDIER; CONVICTED!

They come in different shades and backgrounds, racist white Americans still questioning the validity of President Barack Obama's presidency two years into his administration. One of such hicks, Lt. Col Terrence Lakin, was convicted today for disobeying lawful orders to report to duty for Afghanistan. He said he was questioning the president's commander in chief authority, since according to Mr. Lakin, Barack Obama does not meet the "natural born citizen" threshold to be an American president. Larkin is an Army medical doctor who refused to deploy to Afghanistan earlier this year in protest to "That One's" citizenship status? Lt. Col Lakin faces up to three years following his conviction as well as dismissal from the army; but now he is begging to be retained by the same army whose CNC, President Barack Obama, he disrespectfully dissed? Icheoku says it is arrant craziness for this Greele Colarado native to think that there will still be a place for him in the army of one; and he has not even recanted his claim against the president and commander in chief.

THIS MAN, A TERRORIST? UNBELIEVABLE!

Well, as William Shakespeare once wrote, there is no way of reading the mind's construction by the face; and boy was Shakespeare right. Taimour Abdulwahab Abdaly, an Iraqi-born Swede and the Swedish-bomber does not look any bit a typical terrorist and this is the fork on the road on Western countries hunt for these evil people. He certainly does not fit any known profile of a terrorist and Icheoku is afraid that so many green snakes like him are lurking throughout the greenery of Western countries waiting for the opportunity to deliver their deadly payloads. Only vigilance and prayers will save us with the likes of this Swedish bomber, the diaper bomber, the Times Square bomber and even the shoe bomber - all looking prospective looking becoming our new nemesis? It is unimaginable; but kudos to our various security agencies and mother luck for containing these raving jihadists so far

DEWANI ANNI'S KILLING IN SOUTH AFRICA, AN INDIAN DOWRY-DEATH?

Icheoku is not buying the tale of 'being yanked out of the car and his wife driven off with' as being told by Shrien Dewari over the killing of his wife Anni Dewari in South Africa. Icheoku says, this is another case of the infamous Indian dowry-death which was carried out in South Africa by the conniving maggot of a husband, Shrien. Hopefully his sins shall catch up with him, convicted and sent away for life in a maximum security prison in Robin Island, South Africa where he will spend the rest of his natural life being hounded by the ghost of Anni as he ponders whether it was worth it afterall.

ISRAELI MOUNT CARMEL FOREST FIRE, EXTINGUISHED!

Icheoku is thankful to all those firefighters from the world-over who fought gallantly to quench the fire which ravaged parts of Israel recently. It was akin to the biblical Mount Horeb and the burning bush in which God spoke to Moses. But hey, it is not God's wrath but the reckless and careless act of a fourteen year old Jewish boy who smoked something and didn't dispose the smoldering stub properly. Icheoku says it was an accident and the boy should be set free and not face any indictment, being a minor.

PRESIDENT JONATHAN'S BRIBERY GALORE CONTINUES!

The Save Nigeria Group was the first to alert Nigeria of the bribery tendencies Nigeria's President Jonathan with his $50,000 attempted bribery of the group. Not fazed by the disclosure, President Jonathan has now put his sight on the leadership of the national assembly who he has decided to bribe with their acquisition of official government quarters as their own private homes. Icheoku screams holy macro and queries if the past leadership had acquired these properties, where the present leadership would have resided. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck and Nigerians must be wary of this aloof Niger Delta operative.

TOM DELAY, GUILTY AS CHARGED AND GOING AWAY FOR LIFE?

BABANGIDA LOSES AGAIN, THIS TIME TO NORTHERN ELDERS ATIKU ABUBAKAR

This time, his northern Hausa/Fulani/Gwari brothers and whatever they have up there in the north rejected him as being too toxic for the North as well as Nigeria. They told him that his presidential aspiration is DOA and there is no use trying; and choose Atiku instead. Icheoku said with this final nail on his coffin driven home by his kinsmen, Babangida should now go into a shameful retirement to think seriously how he became such a damaged goods in Nigeria and the worst political leper in Nigeria who nobody wants to deal with, including his northern brothers. Icheoku says, well done northern elders forum for finally retiring this devil incarnate.

"I AM A VICTIM OF JUNE 12TH" - IBRAHIM BADAMOSI BABANGIDA.

Icheoku says to Nigerians, please do not mind the conman. Once again he is deploying a reverse psychology, playing his well known mind game against the entire populace; but hey, Babangida is no Hannibal Lectern! By his latest assertion, Babangida is trying to rewrite history and remake the story of millions of Nigerian victims who suffered untold state hardship and victimization during his despotic rule. In his jaundiced eyes, these Nigerians were the aggressors and himself was the one wronged and who actually needs all the sympathetic ears that can be mustered in Nigeria. Icheoku says, please do not join this man's train to hallucination land as it is a one-way ticket of no return. Just tune off and let the evil-one rot in his soon to implode delusional quest to mount the saddle again! Never again Babangida!

LISA MURKOWSKI SENATE WIN, ANOTHER DEFEAT FOR TEA PARTY SARAH PALIN.

Alaskans seem to have finally ended their romance with their beauty queen, air-head Sarah Palin as they said thanks but no to her endorsed senate candidate, Joe Miller. They instead sent Lisa Murkowitz right back to Washington DC as a write-in candidate; a smack in the mouth for Sarah Palin and her fellow Tea Party anarchists who want to roll over the progress of the last several years. Icheoku says, with crazy Joe now out of the way, Rand Paul still remains the lone ranger in the senate and could be easily contained. Borrowing from Lisa herself, 'doesn't it feel like wow!'

GOVERNOR SPENDS 700 MILLION NAIRA EACH MONTH ON HIS SECURITY?

Mind-boggling indeed! Icheoku asks, really how much does this governor's life worth that he should be spending the peoples' money to protect it in this manner? By the way who and what is he protecting himself from - the same people he made mad by misappropriating their money. Icheoku therefore calls on Governor Theodore Orji of Abia State, Nigeria, to show some remorse and forthwith, cease and desist from this inexplicable wastage of the peoples money. But an aside, why does this governor still need such human protection when he already made a pact with the devil - 'Alusi Okija' or did he also renege on his blood promise to the deity and now needs protection from the deity too?

ADAMU CIROMA IS A NUT-JOB, WANTS NIGERIA TO DISINTEGRATE?

"If they are still working on such a platform, then we should actually be discussing how to dismember this country, because this consensus candidate thing doesn’t make sense. Their action is moving from a political thing to a national warfare.’’ Doyin Okupe berating Ciroma for his search for a consensus northern presidential candidate. Icheoku adds, but can the South smell what Ciroma's north is cooking - a Nigeria with a northern president or nothing at all including a Nigeria that once was!

BEHOLD ONE OF THE INDEPENDENCE DAY BOMBER, CHARLES OKAH!

His name is Charles Okah, a brother to the other turncoat turn in the flesh terrorist, Henry Okah. It would seem that terrorism is part of their family's business. So to the literature of terrorists, we have shoe-bomber, domestic-bomber, diaper-bomber, plane-bomber, wtc-bomber, embassy-bomber, women and children bomber and now the mother of all bombing, independence day bomber. The father that produced these domestic terrorists must have drank too much local gin (ogogoro) on the respective days they were consummated before approaching their mother.

THE VICTIM OF AN ABUSIVE SAUDI ARABIA KILLER PRINCE.

GAY SAUDI ARABIA KILLER PRINCE, CONVICTED FOR KILLING GAY LOVER.

SARAKI'S PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDACY REJECTED BY THE NORTH!

The presidential aspiration of Governor Bukola Saraki of Kwara State has hit the rocks. Information reaching Icheoku has it that the northern front which is trying to present a common northern candidate to challenge President Jonathan in 2011 ruled him out of contention because he is not northern enough? According to their resolution, Saraki does not speak Hausa language and hence cannot be presented to represent the north. Icheoku says really? An Orwellian case of all northerners are equal but some are more equal than the others. Since when has fluency in Hausa language become a prerequisite for the presidency of Nigeria? This goes to unmask the real intention and plans of these mullahs agitating for zoning system - they just want to Islamize the country and possibly force everyone to learn their language!

FAYEMI IS NOW THE NEW GOVERNOR OF EKITI STATE.

With forty out of the forty-eight months of his would have been term of office already spent by a usurper to the office, Action Congress of Nigeria's Kayode Fayemi will now serve out the remainder of his stolen mandate as elected governor of Ekit State Nigeria. The Appeal court declared him winner of the governorship election which Segun Oni in connivance with Olusegun Obasanjo had seized through a stolen mandate. Icheoku while saying congratulations, hopes that INEC will vary the time of election in Ekiti State to accommodate this lost period. This is now another episode in the revolving door that is Nigeria's elected offices as another governor has now been fired and another one hired through the ruling of the court. Judicial activism, may be; but Icheoku would have preferred they arrested Obasanjo and Iwu to explain all these anomalies of the 2007 election. A testament that whatever will be will be!

CHILEAN MINE RESCUE PROGRESSING VERY WELL AND AHEAD OF TIME!

Actual pull-out started for the 33 Chilean miners trapped beneath the earth at a depth of 2040 feet and for 69 days has begun. Florencio Avalos was the first to make it out to a land-up while the rest are similarly on their way out of their hell hole. Icheoku says congratulations to the rescue team who organised this deepest mine rescue of modern times; and thank God Almighty for sheltering these trapped miners while their ordeal lasted. Boy, were those guys tough, strong, brave, fired-up and ready to go!

DESMOND TUTU YIELDS THE STAGE.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa has retired from public life. According to the ever engaging archbishop, he is leaving the scene to make way for younger generation to continue from where his generation stopped. Icheoku says but unlike Babangida of Nigeria who cast aspersion on Nigerian youths as incapable of leading Nigeria, Archbishop Tutu believed in the youths of South Africa and on-the-job training of the youths and made way for them to have a way. Icheoku commends this placing of an idea above self as we wish the Archbishop a wonderful life in retirement.

BABANGIDA ON WHY HE DID NOT ATTEND INDEPENDENCE CELEBRATION?

BOLIVIA'S PRESIDENT EVO MORALES UN-SPORTSMANLY BEHAVIOR.

It was thuggish, it was demeaning of a leader and above all it was thuggish. President Evo Morales of Bolivia intentionally kicked an opponent in the groin in a friendly soccer match. Icheoku wonders what leader leads by such aggressive example and why the president was not given a red card for such un-sportsman foul or was it a case of a president who is above any reproach. His behavior is simply unacceptable and it does not matter the underlying reason - a leader should be above board and lead by example.

BABANGIDA'S NO-SHOW AT CELEBRATION, SUSPICIOUS!

IBRAHIM BABANGIDA'S NEW REFRAIN, WHY HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!

NIGERIA'S 50TH INDEPENDENCE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION BOMBED!

As a present for a wasteful extravaganza that was Nigeria@50 and when there is really "nothing worth celebrating after 50 years of failure", the people gathered in Abuja Nigeria received a bomb-blast, courtesy of MEND. Icheoku condemns violence of any kind but says the bomb made a nonsense of the entire Nigeria security agencies who failed to detect a bomb-laden car packed so near to the venue of the celebration. But is there really a tangible thing worth celebrating in a 50 year Nigeria's life?

RICK SANCHEZ OF CNN'S RICK LIST WHO FORGOT HE WAS NOT WHITE, FIRED!

Icheoku says the kite that thought he is an eagle just discovered that eagles know their own kind. CNN just fired him for calling John Stewart a bigot. Icheoku says but John Stewart has called other people some other bad names and does not see the big deal of one expressing an opinion; but hey this is America and minorities is expected to know their place. Whites, Browns, Yellows, Arabs and Blacks are different gnome genre used to differentiate people with certain privileges and Rick forgot he is an 'ordinary' brown not entitled to take on a white-Jew?

PDP'S ZONING ARRANGEMENT REDEFINED?

"You cannot be talking about zoning when your dad has nominated your sister to be the next governor of Kwara State after your own eight year term as the governor. Further the zoning arrangement in the PDP excludes the presidency since you cannot zone what you do not have." - President Goodluck Jonathan. Icheoku asks, but does the PDP or the president already have the other stuff which they zone or it it a case of he who the cap fits? Did Mr President just twist the facts to suit his template; otherwise isn't it a laughable proposition that a party would zone every other positions in the party and country but not the presidency? Way to go for Nigeria's slick Nath!

BABANGIDA, A DOUBLE AGENT FOR THE ISLAMIC WORLD AND A FRONT FOR OIC?

A vote for Babangida is a vote to Islamize Nigeria. A 'mission accomplished' for the man who surreptitiously took a secular Nigeria into OIC without consulting other non Muslim Nigerians. Now the same Islamic forces headed by Moummar Gaddafi of Libya is sponsoring his bid back to power. Icheoku wonders if such foreign interference is not a criminal behavior for which an accomplice, Babangida, should be held accountable for cavorting with the enemy. A known anarchist and destabilizing force in Africa who had once called for dividing of Nigeria into two countries - one for Christians and the other for Muslims. Icheoku wonders if Gaddafi wants to see his divided Nigeria come to pass through his sponsorship of the evil-genius Babangida against all odds.

IRAN'S ANTI-REASON PHILOSOPHY, REJECTS CARROT AND STICK APPROACH!

"The era of following a policy of carrot and stick is over. Even such words are insulting to nations. It's only good for cowboys and those of retarded people. Definitely it has no effect. They issued resolutions as talks were underway, still, we are ready for talks." Icheoku says what a case of a midget poking his finger at the world; and if sanctions are not working, why the sudden call for talks, after Iran had severally in the past and before the sanction rebuffed the world's every effort at making it see reason.

BABANGIDA DOES NOT GET IT, NIGERIANS DESERVES AN APOLOGY!

“I told Nigerians that it was wrong; I told Nigerians Kill me, don’t kill anybody…This elections was annulled 17 years ago and what I keep telling Nigerians is for Christ sake let us move forward. I thought people should understand that when you accept responsibility, he is saying blame it on me, not on any other person" - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida in an interview with CNN. Icheoku says if only this toothy monster of Minna understands the beef Nigerians have with him, he will know that there is a great difference between 'taking responsibility' and saying that "you are sorry"; especially for taking 150 million Nigerians for the ride that was June 12th. Babangida, Icheoku says, Nigerians cannot and will never move forward or on from you until either you drop dead or you explain in detail why you did what you did - annulling their election, and sufficiently apologize for it, get it Dumber!

TEA PARTY EXPRESS SLOGAN?

"Just vote them out!" Icheoku says with such an absolute slogan and without any option for an exception where performance is apparent, the Sarah Palin led Tea Party has assumed the toga of extreme fringe lunatic fundamentalists in America politics. It is not as if they are offering an alternative or any feasible solution out of the bind which the country is in, no, as reactionaries, they just want to sweep everyone away. But Americans know better that all these Tea Party fanatics parading around and toppling more rational people everywhere are not what the present day economic and political situational development in America needs and therefore must vote in November to retain sanity in the system as well as to sustain the tempo of literate responsible governance!

CHRISTIE O'DONNEL, DELAWARE REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE DABBLES IN WITCHCRAFT?

"I dabbled into witchcraft, I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do; one of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn't know it. I mean, there's little blood there and stuff like that. We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar." Icheoku says, now that you have heard it from the horse's mouth, it is now left for you Delaware people to decide who to represent you in the US Senate; but Icheoku would rather it is not a witch or a witchcraft sympathizer!

ANTI ROMA-PEOPLE FRENCH BANS MUSLIM NIQAB IN PUBLIC PLACES!

As the French Senate bans masquerades parading on the streets of France as Muslim women, Icheoku says it is about time! If these guys love these sacs so much why did they leave the Middle East in the first place. Moreso Middle East imprison Westerners for wearing bikins and minis in their homelands yet their people want to inundate the West with these robe-entombed women running around Western streets with its attendant security risks and risk of injury from stumbling on the garments. It is just becoming too much these their "in your face" moves; except they will open up the Middle East for western culture too.

EBITU UKIWE ADVISES NIGERIANS NOT TO ELECT BABANGIDA!

"To jumpstart the political redefinition of Nigeria, Nigerians should avoid electing those who have inflicted poverty and underdevelopment on the country through avarice and nepotism because such people can never be loyal to their country and their followers." - Ebitu Ukiwe. Icheoku says Ebitu just delivered a side-blow to his former boss and the man who frustrated him out of the military, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida, concerning the later's still-birth presidential ambition. Way to go and we urge all Nigerians to speak up now against Babangida or forever maintain their peace of quietude!

SAUDI ARABIANS NEED AND DESERVE FREEDOM FROM THE HOUSE OF SAUD!

All manners of freedom - of sexual preferences, of women driving cars and living their lives, of religion including the right for Christians to practice their religion in the Kingdom and build churches in Mecca, Medina and Riyadh if they want, of alcoholic beverages consumption, of political opinions and affiliations including elections etc. Icheoku says it is about time the Kingdom of Saud is called to order and not allowed to continue getting away with emasculation of freedom on the alter of oil security for the West. America should demands of their oily friends in Riyadh that they become freedom friendly and tolerant and open up the Kingdom for other people not from the ruling family.

GENERAL IHEJIRIKA, NIGERIA'S POST WAR FIRST COAS OF IGBO EXTRACTION

As President Goodluck Jonathan trades one Igbo security chief for another, Icheoku says what a political chess-game abracadabra? President Jonathan sacked IGP Onovo and in order to placate the Igbos, appointed Major General Onyeabo Ihejirika as the new Chief of Army Staff. Icheoku only hopes that the usual banana peel which has been afflicting Igbo public officials and which just swept IGP Onovo away will spare the new COAS. Chief of Army Staff Ihejirika is from Ovim, Isuikwuato Local Government Area of Abia State and was commissioned into the Nigerian army in 1977. Congratulations COAS Ihejirika.

FIDEL CASTRO'S CUBA REGRETS COMMUNISM, SAYS IT DOESN'T WORK!

The strong man of Cuba, and at 80 plus still going strong, Fidel Castro has finally turned the corner and admitted for the very first time that he took Cubans on a long ride of a discredited communism. Fidel Castro owed up to what the whole world including Russia and China have since known that state welfarism based on all for the state does not work and never worked. Capitalism despite its flaws is still the best economic philosophy of any nation or people. But per adventure it is a mark of greatness for one to admit his flaws and mistakes; and on this note Icheoku hails Fidel for admitting to a mistake made by his revolutionary regime - Viva Castro, Viva Fidel and Viva Cuba!

ISRAELI FOREIGN MINISTER AVIGDOR LIEBERMAN, NOT ON TEAM-PEACE?

According to him the recently resumed Middle East peace talks between his country and Palestine is creating too much expectation and the one year goal of achieving peace is not possible. Icheoku says a house divided cannot stand so it is that Team Israeli is negotiating with a divided objective. But why is Netanyahu still keeping a minister who is so opposed to his peace effort and playing into the hands of Hamas, Hezbollah and other anti-peace Arabs who have chided the new effort as a journey to nowhere; or is it a case of Catch-22 damn it if you retain him and damn it if you fire him; but appearnace still matters and Israel would be seen to be making the best effort without a recalcitrant minister who publicly disagrees with his Prime Minister and President in this manner.

PARIS HILTON, A CRACK-HEAD DESPERATELY CRYING FOR HELP?

No one seem to be listening or hearing the cry for help by this hotel heiress until she wounds up dead as a door knob. It has happened before with some celebrities and children of society's high ups; and Icheoku would not be surprise to wake up one day with the sad news that Paris Hilton turned up somewhere, having assumed room temperature. But it is not yet late and all hands must be on deck to save this party-gal from herself and turn her away from the current destructive path which she is travelling on! May be Paris could benefit from a Brittany Spears styled treatment of parental tough-love therapy.

NIGERIA IS BROKE (BANKRUPT) AND CANNOT PAY ITS DEBTS?

Look no further for the evidence that Nigeria's financial situation is dire and all her creditors should better be wary. Icheoku asks what does Nigeria have to show for the expenditure of $19.54billion just between 2007 and 2010; during which the Excess Crude Account (ECA) which held $20 billion in 2007 when Obasanjo left office has been depleted to a mere $460 as at August 2010. What band of thieves have descended on Nigeria in this way that its resources should be so cannibalized and with nothing to show for it, as trade-off. Please when will that army man who can clean the Augean stable, rise and hold these thieving mongrels accountable?

KARA DIOGUARDI, JUDGE-LESS JUDGE, FINALLY FIRED FROM AMERICAN IDOL?

The judge who cannot judge, the judge without any sense of judgment and the reason why American Idol tanked in rating has finally been given the boot. She came, she saw and she destroyed a once highly rated show; made so popular with commentators commenting throughout the week until the next Tuesday the stellar drama put up by the teary eyed Paula Abdul, who provided a regular side-show with her rambling and cries to temper Simon Cowel's cold acerbic jabs. Suddenly out of nowhere and for no useful purpose came one Kara and American Idol never was the same again. Hopefully it can still be salvaged, provided Paula Abdul is brought back and Simon Cowel persuaded to continue spitting his missiles. But whatever the case regarding Simon Cowel, Icheoku has vowed never to tune in again to American Idol until Paula Abdul returns. What a belated good riddance of a no-use fourth judge, a woman that destroyed American Idol, Kara DioGuardi.

HILLARY CLINTON, THE HARDEST WORKING MADAM SECRETARY OF STATE, NEEDS A NEW MAKEUP ARTIST?

That she is a hard-worker is not in doubt and so also is her steely resolve to get accomplished whatever she set her mind at. Icheoku is a fan, especially since the successful resolution of the last presidential primaries rough-edges. She has been well taken care of by her make-up team; but not today as her face was unevenly over powdered with her neck line left totally untouched. Icheoku wants Madam Secretary to call her make-up artist to order or have them fired or replaced for presenting her face in such a discolored form at the Israeli-Palestine reconvened peace treaty.

PARIS HILTON BANNED FROM WYNN RESORTS LAS VEGAS!

The hard partying heiress of Hilton Hotel chains aka American party gal extraordinaire, Paris Hilton, has been banned from partying at Wynn Hotels and Resorts Las Vegas. She was bursted in the hotel for suspected marijuana and cocaine use and possession, which the hotel felt was a bad pr for its image. Icheoku says big deal, since the party animal can always take her cash-money and panache elsewhere in the city of sin. But hey, why didn't Wynn just let what happened in Vegas to remain in Vegas instead of now banning Paris from her oxygen of life - partying. Is anyone out there still wondering why the raging drug war in Mexico and elsewhere, it is to feed the drug appetites of the Paris Hiltons of America!

ALASKAN TEA PARTY UPSET, A REQUIEM FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY?

IS BABANGIDA A GAY-NIGERIAN, YET TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET?

The evil-one and self styled evil genius of Nigeria, the ruthless dictator who killed Dele Giwa and annulled Nigeria's freest election of June 12th, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida appears womanish? Could it be that the rumor of his being a gay-Nigerian is true as he continues to look so effeminate with every passing day especially since the death of his wife Maryam; and his decision not to remarry ever since does not help the rumor either. But whatever be the explanation for his chubbiness, Babangida is certainly looking fat, chubby and unmanly. However he must never be allowed to kill and maim Nigerians again, not in 2011, not any other time whatsoever. He is evil and evil must never be allowed to rule Nigerians again. Say Amen, Nigerians!

BEHEADING, NO LONGER AN EXCLUSIVE ACT OF TERROR AND/OR PRESERVE OF AL-QUEIDA!

An American from St Augustine Florida, 51-year old Dale Rose learnt too well from Al-Queida, the horrific act of decapitation. He decapitated and dismembered his girlfriend, 48-year-old Jan Dunn Keller spreading her body parts all over the place with some found wrapped in a tarp and left in their garage while others were found buried in a bush nearby. Icheoku says just like this portal kicked against the recent Manhattan 'Ground Zero' Mosque resistance and the broad-brushing of all Muslims as 9/11 terrorists; this insane act by an apparently deranged American does not represent every American. Therefore it is imperative that we as a people do proportionately distinguish and isolate every given case and treat it for what it is - a nutcase!

A NIGERIAN AKAATA DIES IN ORJI UZOR KALU'S USA HOME!

A $39 MILLION GUBERNATORIAL TICKET ECSTASY IN FLORIDA?

As Healthcare millionaire Rick Scott buys the bragging right to fly his Republican Party's governorship ticket in Florida's next election; Icheoku wonders out loud what kind of healthcare he provided for the needy or was he of the school that denied or cut corners in order to amass such a fortune. At a price of 39 million dollars for the right to run for governor of Florida under the Republican Party, Icheoku cannot but begin to question what really is the value of public service in America?

SAHARA REPORTER DEFINES CASH-JOURNALISM IN NIGERIA.

'A true journalist does not accept gratification for his news because it puts monetary value on the news. A journalist that accepts gifts in exchange for reporting the news is a journalist that sells the news. A Nigerian journalism founded on a midnight quid-pro quo visit to the news source, based on the principle of cash-for-coverage of the news, is a journalism that sells Nigerians into slavery.' - SaharaReporters, berating the midnight visit of some Nigerian journalists to Babangida's Minna residence in exchange for a 10 million Naira "transportation fees". Icheoku says, these Judas Iscariot journalists of Nigeria suddenly forgot that the Babangida killed Dele Giwa was once one of them - a journalist?

JUNE 12TH, BABANGIDA DOES NOT GET IT?

“Only Abiola and his family deserve an apology over the annulment of the June 12, 1993 presidential election won by Chief MKO Abiola." - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Icheoku says, this toothy mallam of Minna fails to understand what June 12th means and represents. Babangida woefully failed to comprehend why Nigerians are mad as hell against him for the annulment since it destroyed a sacred mandate which they gave to MKO Abiola o hold on their behalf. Evil genius Babangida, Icheoku says to you, just in case you still don't get it; June 12th annulment is an affront on the whole Nigerians and to them all do you owe an apology; get it dumber!

PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN, PANDERING TO BABANGIDA?

FORMER ILLINOIS GOVERNOR 'BLAGO-HAIR' ACQUITTED?

He was accused of haggling and trying to auction the senate seat of former Senator Barack Obama to the highest bidder. However the jury of his peers in the windy city of Chicago found otherwise and acquitted him of all but one count of the charges - of lying to Federal agents. Blagovich got some good lawyers indeed based on what the Feds had him on tape as saying. Icheoku says, possibly the hair played some role in influencing the decision or hypnotized the only juror that held out on all other counts in the 11-1 hung jury.

BABANGIDA DECLARES FOR PRESIDENCY, SAYS I'M BACK!

“…you don’t expect me to run for president, at age 70, come to you and beg you to vote for me. I think the older one gets the more you think about a lot of things. For me, it is not a do-or-die affair.” - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida in a 2008 interview. Icheoku says may the real evil genius now stand up and explain to Nigerians which of the faces of Janus is the real one! But hey, a people gets the type of leadership it deserves; so the onus lies on Nigerians to decide who will be their president in 2011. But for Icheoku and friends, anyone but the evil-one will be preferred!

PAKISTANI CHILD TELLS FLIES, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT!

No, he is not dead but just in a deep sleep. A flood victim of Pakistan's own 'Katrina' dozes off un-fazed as legion of flies crawl inside his nostrils, and feeding therein.The child from Azakhel near Nowshera Pakistan was in such a deep sleep, following a devastating flood that rendered his community desolate and despondent, that flies is the least of his worries. Icheoku says it seems the child just told the flies, 'I have already seen worse; so be my guest and knock yourselves out! Now begin to count your blessings that your child is not one of those victim children as this; in country busy with banding Nuclear weapon, while turning a blind eye on the level of want and starvation prevalent therein. Icheoku says, this child is a victim of Pakistan's Katrina of 'Noah's biblical magnitude. So sleep on brave child.

LAURA SCHLESSINGER, INSENSITIVE TO RACIALLY CHARGED WORD?

GAY-DOM IN CALIFORNIA, PUT ON A SHORT-HOLD!

Judge Vaugh Walker orders gay marriage to resume, but not until Wednesday August 18, 2010. This is to enable time for any possible appeal to be filed by the anti-gay group of the same-sex divide. Icheoku says with this development, the floodgates of marriage will soon be thrown open to homosexuals, taking away the happiness in these bred's life; as what gay-dom previously brought together, the impending "I do" shall ultimately put asunder; but hey, welcome to the club of agonizing lonely heartaches of marriage, league of homosexuals!

BABANGIDA, YOU MUST ANSWER THOSE FIVE QUESTIONS!

“Before you start asking me question, I want to tell you my rules. I have five no-questions-areas, so, don’t ask me anything related to such areas: one, the issue of June 12 election; another is anything about Dele Giwa, zoning and so on.” - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Icheoku says someone needs to remind this toothy-monster of Minna that his days as a despotic dictator who must be obeyed is since over; and that he is no longer running the show. He has no choice in this matter and if he wants Nigerians' votes he must come and get it; and to get it, he must first clarify the damaging issues of June 12th election annulment as well as who ordered the hit on Dele Giwa. Until he satisfactorily answers these questions, they will keep coming back to haunt him; and if he can't stand the heat, may be it is about time he got out of the kitchen and rop out of the 2011 presidential race.

BUHARI PREDICTS A NIGERIA DISINTEGRATED?

“How can we be so rich and paradoxically so poor? We are a rich nation, poor people. This is a disgrace to the Nigerian leadership. 2011 is critical for the country. There may be no Nigeria thereafter.” - Islamist Muhammadu Buhari; who also denied that he does not know why Nigerians regard him as a fundamentalist? Icheoku says, Buhari, in case you have forgotten, you murdered Batholomew Owo and three others for alleged drug offenses based on a retroactive decree. That is fundamentalism defined, Saudi Arabian Wahabbi style; and that makes you an Islamic zealot, get it skeletal one?

OBASANJO LACKS BACKBONE AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED?

'Olusegun Obasanjo lacks real courage and should never be trusted for betraying Charles Taylor when he reneged on an agreement 'not to do anything to Taylor' only to turn around later to hand him over to his persecutors at The Hague. - Fani Kayode. Icheoku says betrayal is a common trait among the people of the South Western Nigeria so it is not out of place for Obasanjo to live up to the billing. Moreso why did it take Fani this long to confirm what everyone already knows or suspects. According to Fani, Taylor is "a man betrayed" and his betrayal by Obasanjo and co was 'the betrayal of the century.'

KENYA'S NEW CONSTITUTION, MEANINGLESS?

HELLO ELENA KAGAN, THE 112TH UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT JUDGE!

BABANGIDA WOULD IF HE COULD, HURT NIGERIAN MASSES AGAIN!

”Babangida annulled the freest and fairest election in the history of this country and this generated series of crisis. He said there were various issues surrounding that decision, but up till this moment, he has not been able to clear himself. If he had carried out that decision based on the opinion of certain individuals against the wish of the Nigerian people, it is very possible that he would hurt the Nigerian masses again through the decision of those few individuals. - Razak Olokooba, Secretary-General, Coalition of Oodua Self Determination Group (COSEG) Icheoku says be`eni; finally the sons and daughters of Oduduwa have woken up to honor the name of their forebears; and also pay IBB back in his own counterfeit coin!

NKANU NATIVE GIVING IGBO PEOPLE AND ENUGU STATE A BAD NAME?

An armed robbery suspect who was injured during a police shoot-out in Abeokuta and who later offered some villagers N1.8million in protection fees for a safe house and/or passage is from Akpugo-Nkanu, Enugu State, Nigeria! The 20-year -old suspect, Onyeka Ani, was apprehended in Mawuko village, Obafemi-Owode Local Government Area, Abeokuta, Ogun State while trying to escape. Icheoku says, just when the people of Enugu State thought that the death of 'Ngeleomu' has ended this area's involvement in dare-devilry, here comes another one of its product, terrorizing his victims in far away Ogun State. What a shameful ambassador he is. A case of changing tides when a criminal was the one begging for mercy and offering monetary reward to avoid harm in a country where their ruthlessness and lack of compassion is beyond pale. He possibly deserved the vigilante justice for opening his mouth in this way and asking for what his kind will not give to the people - leniency!

MICHAEL GREEN, ANOTHER VICTIM OF 'JUSTICE FOR THEM' AMERICAN POLICY?

A victim of over-zealous police attempt to solve a crime fast and an innocent man who fits the 'color-scheme' template of the usual suspect is railroaded into prison and for 27 long years for a crime he did not commit. So the next time you see 'the other ones' angry, instead of merely observing that they are angry, try to understand why they are angry? And just in case you are still feigning ignorance, black American men are angry because of the injustice that is wrought against them without ceasing, just like the latest case of Michael Green's unjust 27 years imprisonment. The next time before you adjudge a black-man angry, instead of just saying they are angry, try to find out what other injustice that has been wrought against him that he is angry about. The real tragedy of Michael Green's latest ordeal is that there are still thousands of black American men similarly incarcerated for crimes they did not commit. Icheoku prays the same providence that helped secure justice for Michael Green will similarly smile at them some day. Michael Green it is painful but you must move on.

ISLAMIST MUHAMMADU BUHARI'S NEW THEME-SONG?

“The Nigeria of this era should be made of a community that tasks its leaders on their past performance and how they will improve upon that. It is out of date to bore the people with where one comes from, the language he speaks or his mode of worship." - Muhammadu Buhari. Icheoku says, finally at last the skinny army man from Katsina have experienced some epiphany. Free at last, free at last, free at last is Nigeria's former head of a military junta, Muhammadu Buhari, who murdered Barthlomeow Owo and two others for drug possession based on a retroactive decree!

STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS, OUT WITH McCAIN, IN COMES CAMERON!

Icheoku commends the new British Prime Minister Dave Cameron for keeping it real and calling it as it is without the niceties of political correctness. It is a fact that the present Middle East quagmire as is is unsustainable and also when a wall is built around a people restricting their movement drastically, it qualifies as a prison - physical confinement. It is also a fact that Pakistan is not fully committed to eradicating terrorism from their soil and may also be exporting same to its neighboring countries of India and Afghanistan? Icheoku approves of the new British foreign policy initiative as truthful and precise; and geared towards finding real solution to what have defied so many other initiatives. Way to go, Cameron!

LESBIAN TALK-SHOW HOST ELLEN DEGENERES DUMPS AMERICAN IDOL!

"It was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings." With those words, American Idol newest judge Ellen Degeneres calls it quit from her judgeship of the once mesmerizing talent-hunt show. Many of us previously avid fans stopped watching American Idol the moment Paula Abdul was canned from her judge seat. Icheoku says Ellen's move will further send the rating of the show down the drain; but that the rating could still be resuscitated once Kara DioGuardi who brings nothing to the show is removed; and Paula Abdul cajoled back to continue providing the audience with her special side-shows of incoherent ramblings and tearing up. American Idol producers, got it?

ARIZONA ADVISED BY THE COURT TO KNOW ITS BOUNDS!

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer was instructed on the exclusivity of Federal legislative list and that a State cannot suo moto dabble into a purely federal jurisdictional matter such as immigration. The district court told the governor that she has no right to enforce Arizona anti-immigration law wholesale as written because it sort to preempt a federal power. But being the butt-head she is, she has promised her fellow tea-party Arizonans that the state will appeal. Icheoku says, if only this Jezebel will devote some little time to read the constitution instead of wasting Arizona's time and resources chasing the proverbial unicorn!

FRANCE FINALLY WAKES UP TO REALITY OF AL-QUEIDA, DECLARES WAR!

Icheoku says it took the beheading of 78 year old French-man Michel Germaneau for France to finally get it that you don't reason with a deranged man. A war against Al-Queida which America declared and has been fighting for over a decade now; but which to the French was an over-reaction which diplomacy would have resolved? But suddenly an old French man has been beheaded and their President Nikolas Sarkozy had an epiphany that these Al-Queida lunatics admits of no reason at all; but have to be defeated, destroyed and rooted out of this earth. Icheoku says, ironically if all it takes is a national's life, may be Al-Queida should also force other countries such as China and Russia into the war instead of their standing on the fence trying to pontificate on the justiciability or otherwise of the campaign. What a belated Frenchy wake-up call.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, NOT BLACK ENOUGH?

So many folks, reacting to the recent treatment of USDA Shirley Sherrods, once again regurgitated the time-worn cliche` that the president is not black enough or fully down with the struggle; otherwise his reaction would have been somewhat much different? To these folks, Icheoku wants you to know that were the president of a darker shade, there would never have been any colored president in "their" White House to begin with; so you must cut down on your losses and accept the half loaf which is better than no loaf at all. Get it folks!

CHELSEA CLINTON WEDS MARC MEZVINSKY ON JULY 31ST, 2010.

As the former little daddy's girl, Chelsea Clinton becomes a full fledged woman and says 'Yes I do' to her man Marc Mezvinsky on July 31 at Astor Court estate in Rhinebeck, Upstate New York, overlooking the Hudson River, Icheoku have always wondered what it takes to marry a president's daughter; whose mother is also a Secretary of States? What did Mark say to Chelsea to secure her hand in marriage or was it a case of somewhat arranged marriage where someone somewhere introduced someone to someone with necessary approval sought and received? But seriously speaking, it must be a great challenge marrying such a lady especially when Chelsea was born in government house and grew up in government houses; never knowing what a real life is like. But hey, Marc Mezvinsky cannot be any ordinary Joe Blow and so, Icheoku wishes the couple all the best.

EMIR OF BAUCHI DIES IN A FOREIGN HOSPITAL?

The Emir of Bauchi and chairman of Bauchi State Council of Emirs, Alhaji Suleiman Adamu Jumba, is dead. He died in Cairo-Egypt, aged 77years. Icheoku, while commiserating with the people of Bauchi State on their loss, decries the penchant of Nigerian leaders to die abroad in foreign hospitals. Instead of ensuring that commensurate health care facilities are provided for everybody in Nigeria, they prefer instead to go overseas on medical treatment and then give up the ghost there; alone and surrounded by strangers in a foreign land. But hey, whether one died on the streets of Bauchi or at the International Medical Center Cairo, Icheoku says death is death and our only wish is that there could be some change of hearts among these crop of human-beings holding sway in Nigeria. Rest in the peace of Allah Emir!

BUHARI ELBOWS BABANGIDA, INSINUATES HE IS A CRIMINAL?

"Nigerians should not to vote for corrupt leaders again because they are criminals; but should vote for people of high integrity." - Muhammadu Buhari. Icheoku says the stoic army man and Islamic fundamentalist has just thrown a low-blow at Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida since Babangida is the only past leader who is running again. Buhari inferred that Babangida is a criminal and lacks integrity; which Icheoku does not doubt since we remember vividly that Babangida, a one time alleged drug runner, overthrew his boss Buhari for planning to investigate his drug activities.

LINDSEY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL !

Second time is always the charm as alcoholic and cocaine addict Lindsey Lohan now got more time than her 84 minutes once jail-time? This time the substance-abusing actress got 90 days for violating her parole and will most likely serve just 14 days, due to jail "over-crowding?" She was partying in Paris and missed her court date. Ms. Lohan now join the league of Hollywood jail gals such as Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Icheoku however decries the reduced prison term as too sentimental and says, were she of another kind, most likely the sheriff would have squeezed out some space for her to serve out the full duration of the sentence. But hey, different strokes for different folks is the name of the game and we are talking about equality under the law? Moreover, Lindsey Lohan was also "too good" to be photographed with her handcuffs or while being taken into jail-custody since she does not fit the profile of atypical jailbird known to America!

BABANGIDA IS LOSING IT, HIS MIND THAT IS.

“I give credit to both the police and the Nigerian Union of Journalists (NUJ), for their steadfastness. It is good news. Journalists in this country are doing wonderfully. That is why in this family we love journalists, and we appreciate the good work they are doing.” - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Icheoku asks, what profession was late Dele Giwa again that Babangida blew him away with parcel bomb without bathing an eyelid? If Babangida's family love for journalists is such that he had for Dele Giwa, then let every journalist in Nigeria run to the hills for safety and as fast as their legs can carry them.

HAPPY 92ND BIRTHDAY, MANDELA!

Dr. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, the pride of black Africa and an embodiment of resilience is 92 years today, July 18, 2010. A man who somewhat compares with Jesus Christ in his largeness of a forgiving heart, who just like Jesus forgave 'them for they do not know what they are doing', also forgave the then racist criminal apartheid government of South Africa for the cold hand they dealt him, vaporising 27 years of his youthful life. He overcame, became president and is 92 today, what a thumbing of the nose on his traducers! Hurray! Icheoku felicitates with this one of a kind special human being, a saint and the only man to have really lived what he preaches. Nelson Mandela, the world especially black Africans are very proud to have you. Hurray! Happy birthday Daddy Africa!

ORJI UZOR KALU RETURNS TO PDP?

A move which time has since come and a position which Icheoku had canvassed for a very long time now. The opposition in Nigeria is very weak, not serious and practically non-existent; hence the PDP is still the best hope and platform for any politician aspiring to any office in the land. Kalu's chances at the presidency will be best served in the PDP, hence his move is well informed and Icheoku approves. Further, irrespective of whatever naysayers may have against his candidacy, Icheoku still believes that Orji Uzor Kalu is the strongest Igbo candidate for the presidency of Nigeria, the peculiar brigandage political environment considered! But is the Igbo's crab-mentality going to let them support Kalu, only time will tell; as they may become then more politically matured.

NWODO SAYS ZONING IS DEAD SINCE 1999 AND BURIED IN PDP?

In fulfillment of the condition subsequent to his appointment as chairman of the PDP, Dr. Okwesilieze Nwodo has now cleared the way for President Goodluck Jonathan to run in 2011. He has sacrificed the gentleman's agreement of the ruling party as he jettisoned their zoning arrangement. The real losers, as always, is the Igbo people who now have lost the only real opportunity, zoning, that would have made it possible for them to secure the presidency. In the words of Nwodo, “Yes, I said to BBC and I repeat to you again that zoning in PDP  has been jettisoned. There is no zoning on ground right now.  Absolutely, there is no zoning." Icheoku says, at least he is a better politician than the former Ogbulafor whose loud mouth cost him the chair. So Mr. Chairman, when would Babangida be banned or suspended from the PDP to completely pave the way for Jonathan's cake-walk in 2011?

THE CHEATING URUGUAY NATIONAL TEAM IS OUT OF THE WORLD CUP!

What goes around comes around, as the villain of the FIFA World Cup South Africa 2010, Uruguayan national team has been kicked out of the tournament. Netherlands out-scored them 3-2 and their second goal came on the niche of time. Icheoku says when their Luis Suarez turned himself into a goalkeeper to deny Ghana their victory and thereby robbed it of its rightfully earned semi-final position, little did they know they too will soon be shown the way home and out of the competition. What FIFA refused and could not do, the Netherlanders have done. Icheoku says, congratulations Netherlands for kicking Uruguay's butt.

ICHEOKU, PRESIDENT JONATHAN CAPITULATES TO FIFA?

Icheoku says the sudden about turn by President Goodluck Jonathan of Nigeria regarding the 2year ban he placed on the flopping Eagles is cowardice! His failure to stand firm against FIFA, which has more to lose had the stand-off continued, is pitiful; as neither the lame explanation of an apologetic NFF or his being a listening president does not make much sense as he had both options prior and could have waited to get them before the rash decision from which he has now retracted and reversed himself. There is a thin line between indecisiveness and populism and the president is increasingly becoming a boarder line case. Icheoku bemoans this characterized weakness of President Jonathan, and says if the president cannot stand firm on its decision and caved in to ordinary FIFA's ultimatum, how then can anyone expect him to survive the onslaught of a moving tornado, which IBB's impending operation take over Aso Rock will be! Please Mr. President, next time try and sleep over your thoughts before announcing them as decisions; you now speak for 150million Nigerians and every word from your mouth should carry the weight of the 150million Nigerians not subject to knee-jerk reversals or .swallowing them back. So, before you speak or decide on something next time, ensure it is well thought out and thoroughly.

BABANGIDA 'ADMITS' TO THE MURDER OF DELE GIWA THROUGH A PROXY?

Icheoku says now that the evil one IBB has 'admitted' complicity with the murder of Dele Giwa and since there is no statute of limitation for murder, may be the first order of business and the proper thing to do now is to put him in handcuffs and march him off to Kirirkiri prison to await trial. That way, instead of the nuisance of his presidential run, he will be busy trying to save his neck from the hangman's noose. President Jonathan, the ball is now in your court, using Hazeem Gbolarumi, leader of a dead-on-arrival Babaginda’s campaign's word as evidence, who named the callous and dastardly death by parcel-bomb of the foremost fearless journalist as one of the six cardinal sins of Babangida? How about that Nigerians for a start in putting the toothy monster of Minna away forever and for good. That way Nigerians will outfox the foxy bastard and tell him that Maradona is no longer in form nor playing and that his Team Argentina were handed a 4-0 defeat by new generation Germans at FIFA World Cup South Africa 2010. Enough of this provocative Piranha, IBB.

URUGUAYAN LUIS SUAREZ HAND OF SHAMEFUL DESPERATION!

Icheoku warns that whatever victory the Uruguayans and their cheating maggot Luis Suarez (right) may or may not record henceforth at South Africa FIFA World Cup 2010 remains tainted. They should have been gone from the competition but for their robbing of the Ghana Blackstars their well deserved victory. This SOB Luis Suarez has by his shameless act, joined the list of infamy of those who can do anything for anything; and who callously believe that the end justifies the means. But if only FIFA got the backbone to keep them honest, the likes of Luis Suarez will not dare.

CAUCASIAN TAX, TANNING TO COST YOU MORE?

According to talk-radio rabble-rouser and agent provocateur, Rush Limbaugh, the Tanning Tax which came into effect today, July 1, 2010, is an evil racist plot by the Obama administration specifically targeted to penalize white people for getting their temporary melanin? Icheoku asks, is there also its equivalence wherein the Micheal Jackson and Sammy Sosa of the black/colored America, who hate their blackness and want to getter whiter, are taxed in the spirit of fairness and to take wind out of Rush's argument?

MR. $180 MILLION DOLLARS SOCCER CONTRACT RONALDO IS NOT HAPPY?

Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro is a sad-man, possibly suffering from depression over his team Portugal's loss to Spain? His sorrow is such that he would give up all his riches for the loss to be to be simply a mere dream from where he hopes to wake up to reality. In the strongest outward manifestation of the pinning of his soul, the soccer maestro complained out loud:- "I feel a broken man, completely disconsolate, frustrated and an unimaginable sadness. ... I am a human being and like any human being I suffer and I have the right to suffer alone." Icheoku consoles Ronaldo to take it easy on himself, it is just a game and his side did not lose woefully. They played very well, only that Spain was more business-like in getting that lone goal. There will always be the next time - just four years down the road? Go do something fun Ronaldo, just anything, like scuba diving with some hammer-head sharks; or sky-jumping or streaking under a clear blue night sky somewhere exotic!

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA DEFINED?

'Nigeria is like a horse-drawn carriage which, instead of one horse, is being drawn by three horses, each tethered in different directions. The result is a country in dire need of direction and in a thug of war with itself - conflicted, confused, stationary and without any meaning movement in any direction. In the words of Baba Fela Anikulapo Kuti, Nigeria is all motion and no movement' - EbekuoNigeria. Icheoku says, ezi-okwu-bu-ndu, gaskiya, be`e-eni, true, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

PRESIDENT UMARU YAR'ADUA'S GRAVE, WHAT IS LIFE REALLY WORTH?

ICHEOKU, THE LEGISLATIVE BRAWL?

The Nigeria House of Thugs aka Representatives should not upbraid themselves so much just because they truly lived their lives for once; after-all what decency is expected from a bunch of brigands of questionable characters and who lack integrity. Moreover, legislators the world over from time to time, exchange fist-cuffs; so what the big deal if Nigeria learnt. Icheoku says, it is therefore not only in Nigeria that such happenstance takes place periodically; it is not a novelty, so don't over-sweat the small stuff Nigerians. Your (un) elected thuggish representatives fighting and not legislating is no big deal, so get over it.

WHY WESTERN WORLD LIKE PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN?

President Goodluck Jonathan is the first educated president and/or head of state Nigeria ever had; and a PhD presupposes that the holder knows what the heck he is talking about, so they cut him a slack of a benefit of the doubt. Secondly, President Goodluck Jonathan is a native son of the soil of the Niger Delta, the real owners of the proverbial Nigerian black gold, so access through him is free from any encumbrances! Now you know why Jonathan will remain president of Nigeria long after 2011; and if Babangida becomes so much of a problem, he will be solved either through tea or a plane ride?

PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN FIRES BACK AT ETHNIC NORTH?

“We are a country where our leaders tend to play tribal sentiments, saying I am from the South-South; I am from North-west; I am North, I am South, I am a Muslim and I am a Christian. All these are selfish motives to make people who probably cannot compete with others…to use these sentiments." - President Goodluck Jonathan. Icheoku adds, and what did the north even benefit from the 38 years their fellow mallams Balewa, Gowon, Muritala, Shagari, BUhari, Babangida, Abacha, Abdulsalam and Yar'Adua were in power? Yet some northern vampires led by the evil one IBB are once again stoking the northern tribal sentiments to wake up unneeded sentiments against the south. The north is even their own worst enemies - Muritala overthrew Gowon, Dimka killed Muritala, Buhari overthrew Shagari, Babangida overthrew Buhari, Babangida massacred Zango Kataf northerners, Babngida killed Mamman Vasta, Gideon Orkar etc; so which north are we talking about and for which this agitation now martured? Nothing, nada, zilch.

EAGLES COACH LARS LAGERBACK, FIRE HIM NOW FOR LACK OF PERFORMANCE!

He is incompetent, could not qualify his country Sweden for the world cup 2010 and now have botched Nigeria's own attempt to stay the course in South Africa. Icheoku says Coach Lars Lagerback is not technically sound for the big league which the World Cup is all about; and is the reason Nigeria crashed out. So, having failed to perform the condition subsequent for his hire, to lead the Nigerian Eagles to a successful world cup run, Lars Lagerback is in breach of his performance-based contract and should be fired! Icheoku says, fire Lagerback now!

ENUGU STATE NIGERIA SENATORIAL-ASPIRANT SPITS FIRE !

'Education in Nigeria has reached such a rock-bottom low that so many Nigerians are now getting degrees in Zoology but without zoos to work at. A good example is the Enugu Zoo which the former governor and now Senator Chimaroke Nnamani, whose senate seat I am running for, converted to a private real estate and shared them among his cronies. I am running for the senate to help change things and for the better - the pursuit of a more purposeful education policy with specific needs.' - Attorney Benjamin Obiora Nwoye, a candidate of change for Enugu East senatorial seat!

Koman Coulibaly of Mali, THE REFEREE FROM HELL ROBS TEAM-USA VICTORY?

Icheoku decries the black eye given to Africans and black people all over the world by this seemingly 'stoned' referee from Timbuktu who blatantly denied Team USA a well earned third goal in their match against Slovenia. The first time a black man was allowed to officiate in the South Africa World Cup 2010 tournament and this is what the world got? Icheoku asks, is it possible that referee Koman Coulibaly of Mali is an Al-Queida sympathizer who decided to avenge his terrorist-brothers using the instrument of a whistle? Anyway, this droopy-eyes Malian has earned himself the scorn of the world of soccer as an unstable referee who recklessly abused the power of the whistle; or was he under the influence not to have seen the world class goal scored by Edu; and his glassy dreary eyes adds to this suspicion. FIFA should suspend him or at least query him for this inexplicable bad call that put a damper to an otherwise stellar world cup come back by Team USA. Congratulations Howard and the boys for doing us all proud. What an audacity of a come-back and a testament that soccer/football has come to stay in America!

ICHEOKU, OBAMA HAS DONE WELL FOR AND BY THE GULF OIL SPILL VICTIMS !

"Thank you, President Obama, for taking a bunch of rednecks' suggestion and making it happen." - A grateful Tony Kennon, Mayor of Orange Beach Alabama applauding the president's secured $20 billion dollars victims fund from BP. Icheoku says, if only the governors and political leaders of the gulf region could for a moment, throw partisanship out the window and pay a thank you visit to President Obama, for all his visits, commitment and now securing this 20 billion dollars victim's fund for the oil-spill overwhelmed gulf region.

PRESIDENT OBAMA EXTRACTS $20 BILLION VICTIMS FUND FROM BP

ICHEOKU, NORTH KOREA WON BRAZIL?

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA'S WORLD CUP PERFORMANCE CLAIMS VICTIM?

Report reaching Icheoku has it that a father of three, whose heart couldn't take the torment of Lionel Messi led Argentines on the lack-lustre Nigeria World Cup team any longer, gave up the ghost. Late Mr. Peter Agbowa, 56, slumped and died when the Argentines scored the only lone goal of the tournament; having lived on borrowed times as the Nigerian side continuously got pummeled by the mercurial Argentines. Mr. Agbowa hailed from Ukana in Udi Local Government Area of Enugu State, Nigeria. To the Nigeria Eagles, Icheoku says, this blood is on your head until you wash it off with a better and more improved performance!

ICHEOKU, AFGHANISTAN SOON TO BECOME 'THE SAUDI ARABIA OF LITHIUM?'

ICHEOKU, 'GET THE HELL OUT OF PALESTINE' - HELEN THOMAS!

Helen Thomas yells out the frustration among many watchers of the intractable Israeli-Palestine Middle East crisis; and the fact that she is of a Lebanese descent did not help matters at all. Icheoku to some degree aligns itself with Helen Thomas but instead of moving to Poland, Germany, America or back to the desert as wanderers, they should simply divide the land including Jerusalem into two - the two states solution! But to somewhat suggest that Israelis should 'move to elsewhere' is to deny religious history which put the Jews in the Middle East since the beginning of times? But what a way for the 89 year old war-horse to call it quits with a profession in which she became an institution and for over forty years. Another lesson that some things are better left unsaid; but as always some people will elect to bell the cat!

ICHEOKU, THE GORES ONCE AGAIN PROVE MARRIAGE TOO DAUNTING?

As Al Gore and former wife Tipper call it quits, Icheoku asks, does marriage really work or do married people just put up face because of societal pressure? After 40 years and all the money in the world, with five homes and a private jet including all the fame in the world, one would think that there is nothing else missing to make a blissful marriage in perpetuity possible. But no, the monkey which afflicts the rest of humanity crept in and the rest as they say is now history with regard to the marriage of the Gores made more popular with that PDA kiss on national television? But Icheoku have always suspected that the kiss was choreographed and that there was something plasticity about that political family. As one blogger questioned, who among the parting party will get the "internet" which Al Gore claimed to have invented? Anyway, how is your own marriage working out for you?

ICHEOKU, JAPANESE PRIME MINISTER RESIGNS FOR NOT KEEPING CAMPAIGN PROMISES?

Yukio Hatoyama, the Japanese Prime Minister has resigned his office for speaking before weighing the feasibility of keeping some campaign promises? He had campaigned that Japan will demand equal partnership with the United States of America and also that Japan will ask US out of Okinanawa? Unfortunately, the prime minister realized too late that populist campaign promise is one thing and asking a victor out of a military base is another thing all together. Anyway, PM Hatoyama, at least had the honor to throw in the towel. Icheoku says, but Japan needs that Okinanawa deterrence against the rising Asian power house, China?

ICHEOKU, OBASANJO DISPARAGES HOMOSEXUALITY?

'Homosexuality is an abomination' says Olusegun Obasanjo of Nigeria. Icheoku asks, what about sleeping with one's own daughter, be it in-law, biological or adopted? May be a grave criminality for which the offender should be lynched, stoned to death; and we are talking about Olusegun Obasanjo's much trumpeted incestous relationship with his daughter in-law, Mojisola Gbenga Obasanjo! It appears that this Otta deity forgot the biblical injunction "thou shall not judge;" but pardon our forgetfulness, Obasanjo is not a true Christian afterall.

ICHEOKU, NORTH CENTRAL ADOPTS JONATHAN FOR PRESIDENT 2011?

ICHEOKU, PDP WINS ELECTION BEFORE IT IS CONDUCTED?

ICHEOKU, SUDAN'S OMAR HASSAN AL-BASHIR SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT FOR LIFE?

As another African strong man cements his stranglehold on the people of Sudan, Icheoku says President Omar Hassan al-Bashir is a by-product of the selective foreign policy of the West in Africa wherein their friends like Egyptian Hosni Mubarak, King Fahd of Saudi Arabia, all the monarchs of north Africa; and some not too good friends like Gaddafi of Libya and Mugabe of Zimbabwe have gotten away with being sit-tight tyrants and for too long? So just one more despot added to this ignoble collegiate of African tyrants could be tolerated by the West? Icheoku also observed that Nigeria's own tyrant Olusegun Obasanjo was among the delegates at the swearing in ceremony, snoring away his life in La-La land while the ceremony lasted? Whether he was in Khartoum to felicitate with a brother-tyrant or on behalf of President Jonathan's Nigeria government, Icheoku has no information to that effect. Anyway, we reserve our congratulations as we do not readily give it to despots and we abhor rulership in perpetuity of any kind, guise or subterfuge!!

ICHEOKU, KWAME KILPATRICK IS "A GENERAL WITHOUT AN ARMY?"

For violating his probation on an obstruction of justice conviction, hiding money that he would have applied towards making restitution to the city of Detroit, former mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick was sent to 5 years imprisonment? According to the sentencing judge, his allocutus fell short of the desired contrition and was too little too late? In the judges own words, the ship has already set sail. Icheoku says, you live and you learn how not to be cocky but truly sorry and contrite for ones mistakes?

ICHEOKU, PAULA ABDUL IS BACK ON REALITY TV !

The show is "Got To Dance," and debuts on CBS in 2011. Adapted from Britain's Sky 1 network of similar name, Paula will serve as lead judge, executive producer, creative partner, mentor, and coach? Icheoku asks is she going to be always as high on something as she was on American Idol? A lady whose removal from American Idol made Icheoku to stop watching that show, as we have always enjoyed seeing her teary eyes, flirty moves as well as her sometimes incoherent gibberish which made for a great TV. Icheoku says goodluck Lady Paula and we can't wait to tune in!

ICHEOKU, PRESIDENT OBAMA'S AUNT GETS ASYLUM?

A fight for political asylum that started in 2002, long before Obama became president has now been finally won by the president's aunt, Zeituni Onyango. The president did not interfere or try to influence the outcome, saying, "he did not know his aunt was living here illegally and believes laws covering the situation should be followed!" Icheoku says, what a thing of honor to do by the president and a judge who did not want to unnecessarily embarrass the president by denying her an asylum? Welcome to America, Auntie Zeituni.

ICHEOKU, OGBULAFOR THROWS IN THE TOWEL?

Our sources confirm to Icheoku that the embattled chairman of the "largest party in Africa that will astride Nigeria for 60 years", PDP, Vincent Ogbulafor has resigned his office? Corruption laden Ogbulafor is facing prosecution for allegedly helping himself with states funds running into hundreds of millions of Naira? Icheoku queries, what about the others, including Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida who has not given account of Nigeria's $12 billion dollars oil windfall seventeen years after a cowardly step-aside? But the war on corruption has to start from somewhere and if with Ogbulafor, so be it.

ICHEOKU, NOTICE NIGERIANS' 'OBAMANIFICATION' OF THE UK?

Icheoku congratulates those three Nigerians who were recently elected to parliament in the United Kingdom. What a history making endeavor and a good positive political vibe, coming on the heels of the Kenyan-father American President Barack Obama. Hopefully, some day, there will also be a British Prime Minister of African or Nigerian decent. Congratulations Chuka Umunna Labour Party's new member for Streathan; Helen Grant of the Conservative Party for Maidstone and the Weard; and Chi Onwura, Labour Party's member for Newcastle Central. The way to go guys!

ICHEOKU, REPS REJECTS OPTION A4?

Nigerian House of Representatives have rejected Option A4 voting method? Icheoku says they have every reason to fear as the same Option A4 shot down the political ambition of the genocidal Yakubu Gowon; who was defeated in his ward in 1993 by a primary school teacher? Those rogue membership of the House of Representatives know that in an open election as Option A4 would guarantee, they stand no chance in hell of ever becoming an (dis)honorable member? They know the game of deceit they are playing with the Nigerian people and like any other thing in life, it has a life span.

ICHEOKU, BEHOLD THE FACE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES SQUARE SUV TERROR!

William Shakespeare was afterall right when he wrote that there is no way to decode one's mind by mere looking at the face! In the most forensic of profiling would be terrorists, Faisal Shahzad will walk away a freeman; as no one will think he resembles what a typical terrorist or terror suspect looks like? Icheoku says, what a frigging coward of the country this lunatic is, who could not pay his mortgage and spent his time hating and planning evil. Damn the terrorists, damn Faisal. We shall not cower; we shall not tremble!?

ICHEOKU, THE VOICE OF METHODIST BISHOPS COUNCIL IS THE VOICE OF NIGERIANS!

ICHEOKU, SOMETHING GOOD FINALLY COMES OUT OF A BAD PDP POLICY?

ICHEOKU, NIGERIANS DEFEND THEIR HONOR AS THEY LASH OUT AT BABANGIDA?

" We must all resist Babangida and any future annulment. Whoever annulled June 12 election is the cause of the problem Nigeria is going through today" - Hassan Sumonu, Former NLC President

"We advocate one man one vote, we therefore protest Babangida's presence here. He annulled the June 12 elections" - Festus Keyamo

"We need a public apology, we need to know why we lost MKO Abiola. and the June 12 mandate. We need to know why Babangida annuled the freest poll in our history " - Joe Okei-Odumakin.

Icheoku says, these honorable Nigerians make us all very proud. Operation stop Babangida's assault of our general sensibilities is a collective campaign which every non-demented Nigerian must participate in and to its logical end. God damn Babangida and his quest to enjoy what he denied MKO Abiola on June 12th! Not under our watch, Nigerians!

ICHEOKU, JONATHAN YIELDS AND SENDS IWU PACKING!

America insisted, likewise many Nigerian opinion leaders and activists alike, and the Acting President Jonathan Goodluck caved in, sacrificing INEC Maurice Iwu? But forgetful as he may pretend to be, this acting president is a beneficiary of Iwu's alleged election malfeasance that brought his government to power without a proper election? Also Iwu's hands were tied by an Olusegun Obasanjo who wanted only a particular outcome as a condition for his unwilling exit. However Icheoku admonishes Iwu for allowing himself to be used and dumped in such a dishonorable, strange manner, tarnishing his name and reputation forever! Regrettably, Iwu did not emulate Professor Humphery Nwosu's example that produced MKO Abiola's June 12th election!

ICHEOKU, IN SUPPORTS OF THE CALL TO BOYCOTT ARIZONA!

The State of Arizona recently passed into law an all white racist law targeting non whites, non blue eyes and non blond haired people for discriminatory racial profiling. There is growing moves by conscionable people to protest such anti-American law with a boycott of the state. Icheoku supports such a move and hereby call on every American as well as tourists world-wide to boycott the apartheid State of Arizona in a similar fashion as was South Africa of yesteryears! America belongs to all and no particular race has an exclusive right to exclude others from a land which hitherto belonged to native Indians. Enough Arizona!

ICHEOKU, BABANGIDA SHOOTS HIMSELF ON THE FOOT?

“Having done it for eight years I can do it again for four. June 12 was a 17-year old mistake. I conducted the best election, I annulled the best election." - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Icheoku says the evil genius is neither intelligent nor versed in the art of political speaking. Imagine the bloody despot comparing his eight years of military dictatorship as a maximum absolute ruler with a democratic presidency where consultations and not fiat rules? Babangida also confessed that June 12 was a mistake but is yet to make any public apology over it or even visit the grave site of MKO Abiola to ask for his personal forgiveness? Lastly he admitted he conducted the best election and also annulled same; which makes him a very conflicted tragic personality, who Nigeria does not want in 2011 or any other time. Away with Babangida!

ICHEOKU, IT IS JIM CROW SOUTH DEJA VU IN ARIZONA?

Governor Jan Brewer signed into law, the most racist law in Arizona; legitimizing racial profiling of so many Americans. Now, anybody who is not Caucasian, blond haired and blue eyed can be stopped at random and asked to prove his American citizenship? In other words, all "the other ones" should stay away from Arizona for their own safety and sanity. Icheoku says, it is Gestapo, the Third Reich and Nazism all put together in one in the arid state of Arizona; and Hitler must be turning in his grave now? Shamelessly too, this Governor Jim Crow of Arizona does not even know what an "illegal immigrant" looks like; and you wonder how this illegal law would be enforced pending it's finally shot down for overreaching? Racist Arizona State!

A NIGERIAN SENATOR IS A CHILD MOLESTER AND RAPIST?

Senator Ahmad Sanni Yerima of Sharia Islamic Northern Nigeria state of Zamfara forcibly took a 13 year old child-wife No. 3 from Egypt? Icheoku asks why is this mullah not in prison for child-abuse, rape and molestation; and he is a Nigerian senator? What a further besmirching of the already in the sewer Nigeria's image. Who is still asking why there are so many girls in northern Nigeria suffering from V V F, depression, anxiety and chronic maniacal disorder when a 60 year old animal is allowed to forcibly conscript a 13 year old innocent child and confine her inside a purdah as his sexual slave? Where are the women group and feminists of this world to protest this senator out of the senate chambers?

ICHEOKU, BABANGIDA IS A DARK CLOUD OVER NIGERIA?

ICHEOKU, ANOTHER DIASPORA NIGERIAN MURDERED IN NIGERIA?

After a twenty one year long sojourn in America, a Nigerian-American citizen decided to visit motherland to check out things personally for himself. But lo and behold, he was murdered! The deceased, Mr. Cyril Amadi, was hacked to death in Omuigwe village, Aluu-Ikwerre, Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria; by people suspected to be his kindreds? Icheoku says, another waste and a cold pour on Diaspora Nigerians who want to make good with a visit to and help motherland; only to be so callously wasted and in such a brutal manner!

ICHEOKU, BABANGIDA DID NOT KILL BONGUS IKWUE?

FYI:- one of our minders have written to inform us that Bongos Ikwue is alive and well! Icheoku says, through providence, he was able to survive the murderous rampage of the goons of Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida! Our minder is credible and we are not making any further investigation regarding Mr. Ikwue's state of being; but regrets whatever discomfiture our publication as to his death may have caused him and his family. Icheoku sends our regards to our minder, who chose to remain anonymous at this time. However, Babangida being absolved of one alleged murder does not exculpate him from the numerous others he committed while in office, hence Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida remains a killer of Nigerians who belongs to Kirikiri prison and not Aso Rock! Say 'NO' to Babangida 2011 project despair and implosion as he can only rule a Nigeria without the Yoruba south-west!

ICHEOKU, JONATHAN GOODLUCK'S CNN INTERVIEW WAS BELOW PAR?

Icheoku watched CNN Christiane Amanpour's interview of Nigeria's Acting President Jonathan Goodluck, which aired on Sunday, April 18, 2010. Regrettably, it was below par as the PhD holder lacked composure, elucidation and presence of mind befitting a doctorate degree holder and leader of Nigeria? It is our conclusion that either the acting president was timid or shy or was suffering from some sort of complexity being his first international foray outside his comfort zone of Aso Rock and before Lady Amanpour? Of particular note was his bungling of the northern Nigerian Islamic terrorist Farouk Abdulmutallab question, when in answer he started prevaricating on small arms flooding Africa? Icheoku says, Acting President Jonathan Goodluck has a very long way ahead to travel in the mastery of the art of charisma, presentation and speak-engagement? In short he lacked necessary confidence and fidgeted throughout the interview, rubbing his eyes and wiping imaginary stuff off his face while shifting on his seat and legs?

ICHEOKU, SUPPORTING BABANGIDA FOR 2011 IS VERY UNPATRIOTIC!

What a shame that in the search for the leader of Nigeria in 2011, some people have decided to go back to the junk-yard of history to fish out a tired, 71 year old, brain-dead, semi-illiterate, despotic army man to lead the country? Icheoku says if leading presupposes futuristic action, what business then, does Nigeria have going back to a 17 year old garbage to dig up a former criminal government-hijacker to lead them in 2011? It is total insanity; and only a dysfunctional society takes such one step forward and then 17 years backward. In a country of about 150 million people, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida cannot be the only capable hand there is (what if he was dead, gone and forgotten like Sani Abacha); or the brightest bulb in the chandelier of Nigeria? Babangida has nothing to offer Nigeria in 2011, never had in 1985 through 1993; and therefore must be rejected! Just say 'No' to "Babangida 2011" project waterloo; it is DOA (dead on arrival)!

ICHEOKU, MR. SUSPENDERS CALLS IT QUIT AGAIN?

CNN ghost-looking host of Larry King Live, Mr. Larry King has dumped wife No. 7 Shawn Southwick? The former couple recently filed for divorce. Icheoku says serial husband Larry King who is possibly on the prowl for wife-victim No. 8, is getting a break from the biased media being one of them; but when Tiger Wood just had sex with some honey bimbos, still married to his wife, no media gave him any break whatsoever? Icheoku wonders what women find sexy in this ghoulish host except for his deep pockets? If the rumor is true, Larry was caught pants down with his wife's sister?

ICHEOKU, GOODLUCK TO RUN IN 2011?

Reading in between the lines, it is heart-warming to note that Nigeria's acting President Jonathan Goodluck has indicated that he might stand in next year's election? According to his statement, "I said, nobody should ask me whether I will contest election or not. I must first of all see whether the state is moving. If the country is not moving, what what will I tell Nigerians I want to contest?" Icheoku says, the necessary implication is that if the state is moving, then Jonathan might have something to run on? All he will do is to nominate Turai or any of the Yar'Adua's children as his vice president, except President Umaru Yar'Adua recovers enough to continue. Icheoku approves and encourages Jonathan to run to complete the Yar'Adua-Jonathan expected eight years term. Heavens will not fall, provided the populace see some positive changes in their lives - it is power, good roads and security. Moreso anybody but Babangida will be a better option!

ICHEOKU, FLORIDA PASSES A REAL REFERENDUM ON HEALTH-CARE BILL !

Democrat Ted Deutch was overwhelmingly voted 62% against Republican's 35% for US Congress! Icheoku says what a testament to the expected 'routing' the republicans have touted as facing the democrats this November? Unlike the Massachusetts Scott Brown election which was before the passage of the bill and hence no barometer for its acceptance, this victory in Florida coming after the bill was passed is a statement that all those democrats retiring have no reason to fear but should all come back and face some grateful voters! So in the real referendum on health care bill, President Obama and the Democratic Party are alive and well. To Rush Limbaugh and the Republican Party of 'NO', Icheoku says, may the November mid-term elections be brought forward!

ICHEOKU, IWU CAN STILL REDEEM INEC!

"INEC had demonstrated its ability to conduct credible elections in recent past, the elections in Edo and Anambra as well as the April 10 polls in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) considered. I am convinced that the present INEC can conduct free and credible elections, what happened in our previous elections, is just one missing link." - Acting President Jonathan Goodluck. Icheoku says, if it doesn't break don't fix it; just let Maurice Iwu INEC be and allow it a free, unfettered hand to operate and conduct a free and fair election in 2011.

ICHEOKU, AS POLAND MOURNS!

The death of their President Lech Kaczynski, his wife and Polish First Lady Maria and some high ranking military and civilian leaders who died on Saturday, April 10, 2010, when their presidential plane crashed near Smolensk, western Russia, Icheoku says please Polish people accept our condolence! This tragedy is a testament that the presidency and the president of any country is never fused or unified in the person occupying the office? So Nigeria's President Umaru Yar'Adua and his cabal must take note of the fact that they are not indispensable and end the suspense their continued agitation is generating! Life is a vanity!

ICHEOKU, BABANGIDA DARES NIGERIANS, SAYS HE WILL RUN?

Icheoku urges Nigerians to accept his gauntlet and use the opportunity to remind Babangida the evil of his past regime by rejecting him in the polls. However, if he ever 'wins' the presidency; then it will be Nigerians own shame for being a people without any backbone to fight their nemesis; unlike the brave people of Thailand and Kyrgyzstan? What a thumbing of the nose at Nigerians by this evil-genius after all that he did to Nigerians? Dele Giwa, Gloria Okon, June 12th, 419, Mamman Vasta, Gideon Orkar, $12billion Iraqi oil windfall, Ejigbo army officers and the Greek gift of Sani Abacha! If these are not enough atrocities to hang him out to dry in 2011, then Nigerians are retards and have unparalleled capacity to take shit; and hence deserves whatever comes their way as a result! In a country of 150 million people and an army man IBB with no college degree is the best choice for president? Something sure does not look good with this picture?

ICHEOKU, ISRAEL MUST STOP THEIR STONE-WALLING!

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu must free himself and his country from their present recoil, and come forth to help America help them. There is no need to avoid the nuclear conference just because they do not want to discuss their nuclear assets. Israel must know that their insult on Vice President Joe Biden is enough already and they must not add insult to injury by standing up President Obama during the upcoming nuclear conference. Icheoku says, Bibi must show up or stand to see the diplomatic chill take a deep frosty turn!

ICHEOKU, A MAN OF GOD FROM HELL?

Convict Anthony Hopkins of Mobile Alabama is supposedly a man of God and evangelist? He killed his wife and mother of eight beautiful children, dismembered her and stuffed her body-parts in a freezer for four long years before it was discovered! The 36 year old 'family terrorist' was additionally convicted of rape, sodomy, incest and sexual abuse a teenage relatives one of whom he impregnanted! Icheoku says what will the world not to in the name of God or is it a sign of end times? Anthony Hopkins is a devil-incarnate giving men of God a bad name!

ICHEOKU, ONE REPUBLICAN NAMED NEWT 'SLOBODAN' GINGRICH?

Mr. Newton Leroy Gingrich said that President Barack Obama is "the most radical president in American history" and oversees a "secular, socialist machine?" Icheoku says, thank God President Obama was only accused of maintaining America's secularism and not trying to turn it into an Islamic republic? The last time Icheoku checked, America is not a religious republic but a land where freedom of religion is paramount? These republicans are so full of it that they will never cease throwing dirt at President Obama and hoping something sticks. And boy, this particular Newt reminds Icheoku of former Serbia's President Slobodan Milosevic!

ICHEOKU, SOUTH AFRICAN REDNECK EUGENE TERREBLANCHE MURDERED!

Eugene Terreblanche, 69, leader of the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB), was killed in Ventersdorp in what appears to be a racially motivated killing? Icheoku says, whatever be the case, it is a wrongful death, wrongly timed, at a time so close to South Africa's hosting the world, including a lot of white people, in the biggest soccer fiesta of all times, the world cup! For safety and security reasons of the visiting world, this death should not have occurred, not this time or at any time at all; so the South African authorities must speedily get cracking to prevent such an image-downer from ever happening again and certainly not before the summer world cup. The death of anyone is regrettable, including this extremist white Afrikaneer! Our condolences to his family.

ICHEOKU, AS RUSSIA AGREES TO ASSIST VENEZUELA'S NUCLEAR AMBITION?

Icheoku says, cutting off the nose to spite the face is never a good policy! Russia will be making a big mistake to think that giving Hugo Chavez nuclear technology is a way to get at America? Also Hugo Chavez newly found Kremlin friendship will not do him any good as Fidel Castro tried it in vain for over 50 years? Before Icheoku forgets, were both men speaking Russian or Spanish during this call? Russia, please do not proliferate as it increases the chances of fissile materials getting into the hands of terrorists; and Russia do not want that to happen in view of the black-widows, one of who bombed Moscow train station at just 17 years old?

ICHEOKU, MOSCOW BOMBING SPRINGS IRANIAN NUCLEAR QUEST FORWARD?

The Doku Umarov lead Islamic militants in Chechnya and other regions in Russia's North Caucasus's bombing of Moscow underground trains has 'fortunately' brought the issue of Iranian nuclear effort to the fore of international focus? It shows that these Islamic militants do not care a hue about human lives and if they get the bomb they will use it. Now is time for the world, especially Russia and China to wake up and smell the coffee that the Tehran bomb is not only West-specific! Icheoku calls on the world to unite and take away Iranian's right to nuclear weapon and go to war if that is what it gets down to; including a regime change in Tehran; so that they can join Iraq in marching forward with duly elected governments!

ICHEOKU, SHOULD THE POPE RESIGN?

With the catholic priests sexual abuse scandal now mushrooming into a global occurrence, with some people even calling for Pope Benedict IX to resign over his alleged cover-up and take responsibility as head of the catholic church; Icheoku asks, should he fall on his sword? Also would the church survive this sinful scandal with its reputation intact and washed anew or forever remain tarnished by it? Icheoku advises that priests be allowed to marry as a way to help curb this urge to fulfill a natural occurring biological function of every living thing, which in a way drives this abuse!

ICHEOKU ALERTS, ANOTHER DIASPORA NIGERIAN ASSASSINATED!

A United States of America-based medical practitioner on vacation to motherland has been assassinated? Dr Charles Ndulue was gunned down in Benin City on his way home from a Sunday service by hired killers, who had trailed and pursued him to a point where they shot-out his speeding SUV tires, making him a sitting duck? They then emptied their gun's magazine into him and the rest is now history as it took the police about 4 hours thereafter to secure the crime scene. Icheoku says, as you travel to Nigeria, be very careful or better still DON'T!

ICHEOKU, SHAMELESS AND OPPORTUNISTIC MALLAM JOKOLO?

Al-Mustapha Jokolo, deposed Emir of Gwandu and former ADC to former Head of State, Major-General Mohammad Buhari (rtd) is now crying out loud, complaining and preaching anti-north gospel; and proclaiming southern brotherhood? According to him the north has failed Nigeria and leadership must move to a more competent south! Icheoku says this Isalmist has no moral authority whatsoever to speak for any Nigerian, having himself contributed to the problem with Nigeria? Icheoku adds, before this hot-head mallam would say anything further, he must first tell Nigerians what the contents were of the 53 suitcases he smuggled into Nigeria in 1984 or thereabout, menacingly by-passing the Customs, being ADC to the head of the then ruling junta, Buhari? Until this SOB clears the air on that incident and satisfactorily, it is our position that in addition to being deposed as emir, he should also be banished from Nigeria, the Shugaba way? Now having lost in the power game in Gwandu emirate, he is seeking relevance by seeking rapproachment with the South? It seems to be now too little to late as the train had since moved on without him?

ICHEOKU, IRAQ FINALLY TURNS THE CORNER?

Iyad Allawi, the incoming Prime Minister of Iraq after his Secular Iraqiya Alliance won the election. Icheoku says congratulations Allawi and the Iraqi people for a free and fair election which saw the defeat of a seating prime minister? We urge Prime Minister Maliki to concede the election without further delay and allow Iraq's nascent democracy to grow. It is a new day in Iraq when elections are held and successors take over from the incumbent! The citadel of civilization is once again proving that they can lead the Middle East in democratic governance. Way to go, Iraqis!

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA IS A FAILED STATE?

“Outside there, many people see Nigeria as a failed State. The argument that came up was that if in 2010, we are still killing one another, if in 2010, we cannot guarantee electricity, if in 2010, we cannot guarantee water, if our roads are still bad, our economy virtually comatose, many people talk of these variables as the elements of a failed State?" - Governor Babangida Aliyu of Niger State! Icheoku says if only this mallam had added that it is his Islamic Sharia Northern people of Nigeria that brought about all these high negatives to the country?

ICHEOKU, LIMBAUGH LOSES AGAIN AS HEALTH CARE REFORM BECOMES LAW!

Redneck Rush Limbaugh, a sworn-enemy of minorities in America, was so sure that the health care reform would fail that he swore to relocate to Costa Rica should it pass? It not only passed, but has become the law of the land with President Obama's signature. But is Rush going to migrate to a third world country; Icheoku does not think so. However it shows that Rush is not as influential as he thinks and does not necessarily sway any real opinion in America. May be he is delusional about his real worth? In 2002 he lost; in 2004 he lost; in 2006 he lost and in 2008 he lost the mother of all loss with the election of President Barack Obama against all odds including his acid vituperation against his candidacy. Now in the battle for the hearts and minds of the American people over the health care reform debate, Rush Limbaugh was once again thumped!

ICHEOKU, ISREAL NEEDS SOME REAL SELF EXAMINATION!

It is utterly disheartening that a people who were once persecuted for who they are, are now visiting similar fate to another people? Icheoku says it is about time Israel is compelled by the world especially America, to make peace with the Palestines and on each other's agreeable terms! Like Kansas City Missouri and Kansas City Kansas, there is nothing wrong with Jerusalem being the dual capital of both people; afterall they were both sired by Abraham? So why the pretended 'we cannot live together?'

ICHEOKU, INEC SOLVES NIGERIA ELECTION FRAUD MYSTERY?

"There is a limit to which a single institution can go to contend with an environment in which a horde of desperate, unrestrained elements are out to ensure that there is no order and that nothing works unless it will advance their political ambition. The challenge before the nation as it prepares for the next round of general elections is to develop a correct political orientation that will be anchored on principle, the interest of the majority and the promotion of the will of the people, not the will of a few big men with means." - Maurice Iwu of Nigeria, INEC Chairman. Icheoku says, well spoken!

ICHEOKU, MEND MUST CEASE AND DESIST!

ICHEOKU, THEY ARE SATANIC?

Senator Joseph Waku calls Soyinka, Falana, Edwin Clark and Dangiwa satanic! Icheoku says, Waku, Tsav and Dabo are the newly reconstituted 'Benue Indigenes Protection Force'; their new attack-dogs who must rabidly attack anyone critical of their folks, including the disgraced former Attorney General Mikey Aondonkaa and the soon to be shown the exit, Madam EFCC Farida Waziri! Regrettably however, it does not matter to these 'senile' semi-northerners that their kinsman/woman are both corrupt and incompetent; with a below par performance average; all that they care for is that both officials are from Benue State aka the Middle Belt? So long for a Nigeria on its head, seriously quaked by blind parochial tribal sentiments?

ICHEOKU, THE LAMIDO ADAMAWA IS DEAD!

Alhaji Aliyu Musdapher, a northern Nigeria Islamic leader and paramount ruler of Adamawa, died of natural causes; he was 88. He was on the throne of his ancestors for 57 long years! Icheoku condoles his people of Adamawa on their great loss. The Lamido Adamawa now joins the list of very few 'patriotic' Nigerian high-ups who did not die in a foreign hospital bed and for this, we commend him for identifying with the common people of Nigeria whose leaders allowed the healthcare delivery system to 'collapse', only for them to jet out to a foreign hospital at the slightest whiff of headache; leaving the masses to their fate? Adieu Adamawa!

ICHEOKU, UTAH REPUBLICAN KEVIN GARN ENGAGED IN VOYEURISM?

ICHEOKU, WHY FULANI KILLED BEROM IN JOS - NIGERA?

"Under the circumstances of what has been happening in Plateau State, some people just have to die. Any society that refuses to be just and fair shall become a jungle where only jungle justice shall operate like the case in Plateau State today. There are some people who are very conversant with the jungle - they sleep with snakes, gorillas and even at night. So if you turn your state to a jungle state, this is what you get.” - Malam Sale Bayari, a Fulani and leader of Sultan's farmers/cattle rearers Association.

ICHEOKU, ACCESS HOLLYWOOD HITS A NEW LOW!

Access Hollywood presenters on March 9, 2010 insunated that Michael Jackson was included in the tribute to Hollywood departed at the 82nd Academy Awards Oscar night simply because he is black? They also questioned the non inclusion of Sarah Faucett when 'even MJ was included', thereby claiming that Faucett was on the same pedestal, if not more, with MJ? Icheoku says, no wonder nobody watches that crap which we mistakenly tuned into while searching for something else better and more insightful to watch. Shame on you Access Holllywood!

ICHEOKU, ANOTHER REPUBLICAN SHITLESS HYPOCRITE!

ICHEOKU, JOS BOILS OVER AGAIN!

ICHEOKU, ANOTHER YORUBA POLITICIAN MURDERED!

Icheoku asks, when shall the political-feud settlement by blood-letting amongst the household of Oduduwa ever let off? Just few weeks after AC governorship candidate Dina Dapo was buried, another Yoruba politician has been brutally murdered by hired assassins. Peoples Democratic Party Chairman for Atiba Local Government Area of Oyo State, Mr. Azeez Adegbile, was killed and his dead body burnt on Wednesday March 3, 2010; while having a night-cap with his family inside his family house? The 'wetie' people and the list continues to grow!

ICHEOKU, AMERICAN DOCTORS ARE COMING FOR YAR'ADUA?

Turai, remember MKO Abiola tea and take whatever remains of your husband and run as fast and as far away as you can, to the hills of Katsina for safety. Aso Rock will not provide him with the much needed fortress when these undertakers come to town to perform the requiem and administer the final rites for your husband's easy passage to meet with his Allah. The Saudis have submitted their report and it is not good, so this coming visit is the Abiola tea-visit rewind, a deja vu! And Turai, these Americans are good at solving political logjams in the best way they know how - fast and painless, get it!

ICHEOKU, CHILE'S MAGNITUDE 8.8 EARTHQUAKE!

Our sympathies for your loss, Chileans. However Icheoku says, an opportunity just called for the newly formed Latin America and Caribbean association, which exclude the United States and Canada, to prove their worthiness by taking the lead in providing necessary assistance needed at this time in Chile. They must not look up north to those "Gringos" to send in their aircraft carrier as well as ocean-going hospitals to Santiago. May be Venezuelan Hugo Chavez will now take this opprotunity to establish himself as the leader Latin America has been waiting for; and for which he had repeatedly maligned and asked America to go home? The time of running off the mouth is over, now is time to put your act where your mouth is, Presidente Chavez; be the first responder, rescue, recover, assist and help Chile at their hour of great need.

ICHEOKU, 96 HOURS LATER STILL NO YAR'ADUA SIGHTING?

Today is day 4 since the purported return of Nigeria's incapacitated President Umaru Yar'Adua from his medical hibernation in Saudi Arabia. Still nursing the unceremonious and traumatic eviction from his hospital bed, the president or whatever is now left of him has embarked on internal hibernation. No one including his vice president and Nigeria's Acting President Jonathan Goodluck has been allowed to see him since his alleged midnight sneaky arrival. Icheoku says, this development can mean one thing, and one thing only: - either there is no president Yar'Adua to see as he is still holed up in Saudi Arabia or he is now a barely living unsightly ghostly skeleton. But whatever happens, the Yar'Aduas should know that a ghostly apparition cannot be allowed to continue to remain the president of Nigeria. Enough, Turai and co!

ICHEOKU, STATES SPONSORED ISLAMIZATION?

Now the world can confirm that all those mosques and minarets enveloping European and North American landscapes, is a covert Islamization of the Western continent. Gaddaffi just confirmed that much with the incontrovertible evidence of his Fatwa on Switzerland, that Middle Eastern Islamic governments are bank-rolling and sponsoring the ongoing fully energised Islamic revival in Europe and North America. What a humilitating psychological Islamisation of the western hemisphere as her governments watch and aloof as her cultures fade away in distant obscurity against an invading rabid Islamic religion?

ICHEOKU, A JIHAD AGAINST SWITZERLAND?

The 'King' of Africa, Moummar Ghaddaffi of Libya has called for the levying of Islamic '(un)holy' war aka JIHAD on Switzerland, including her government and her people? Icheoku asks, is this despotic sit-tight African delusional King smoking hashish again to allow his mouth run this foul? Does he not know that the EU as well as NATO has a policy of 'an attack on one is an attack on all' and that this Jihadi threat will be regarded resolutely by all Europeans? Now, Ghaddaffi, please tell Icheoku how many churches or cathedrals you have allowed or permitted to be built in Tripoli? Make sure that you are not writing a check your sorry arse can't cash! Enough of your vituperations!

ICHEOKU, THE MAN WHO OWNS TOYOTA?

Akio Toyoda, President and CEO of Toyota Motor Corporation is the grandson of the founder of Toyota. He was in Washington to say 'sorry' for the hiccups of Toyota. Icheoku says, it is too much ado about nothing, the criticism that Toyota is being specifically targeted to make room for Detroit; since such 'fix it' outcry has been made on Ford Motors after its Ford Explorer brand and Firestone tires debacle.So why this Toyota sentiment; instead Toyota should get off its ass and fix what is broken with their brand! Our only concern is that Japanese people are somewhat too fragile emotionally; and we pray the current Toyota troubles does not push Mr. Toyoda off the cliff or force his hands?

ICHEOKU, DYING UMARU EVICTED FROM HOSPITAL?

President Umaru Yar'Adua of Nigeria has finally been forced out of his hiding place, a hospital bed in Saudi Arabia, back to Nigeria. He abandoned his duty post at Aso Rock for over 80 days without letting anyone know including his vice president as well cabinet members. Nobody in Nigeria was even allowed to visit or see him while intubated in the intensive care unit of the hospital? It took the intervention of the Americans for Saudi Arabian authorities to agree to let him go back to his abandoned country. Icheoku wants to know how many more days he has left, and whether he intends to still govern by proxy of his power-drunk wife, Turai who is the new Lady Macbeth Turai of Nigeria. But this Turai must be told that dead men do not govern and that she should allow Umaru to live out whatever is left of his life in peaceful dignity and not in a public ridicule as a mirage president? The almighty power and the fools, it make of human-beings!

ICHEOKU, THE PARTY OF 'NO' SAYS 'NO' AGAIN!

The Republican National Party aka 'The Party of No' has again said 'no' to a $15billion dollars job creation bill sponsored by the Obama administration. In an economy that is still flagelling, which have seen so many people lose their jobs and still steadily losing their jobs, Icheoku asks, what manner of a people will be against a bill intended to stop this bleeding and create jobs? Only the republicans, whose 'good ole white boys' majority membership are so dizzingly fixated on "that one" that it does not matter to them if the baby is thrown away with the bath-water. It does not matter how good the policy sounds or may be, what they are witnessing as occupant of 'their' WHite House is simply intolerable? Obama is a 'negro-squatter' in their White House and whatever gets him out of that place is good politics; including so many Americans without jobs voting in anger come 2012! These guys are shameless and pathetic indeed!

ICHEOKU, TIGER WOODS APOLOGISES, SO NOW WHAT?

Icheoku wants to know what took Tiger Woods this long to read a script which he could have read when his dalliances-scandal first broke out? Moreso, he did not take any question as Icheoku would have loved to know if his sex-addiction theraphy includes shock treatment to his winnie? Anyway, as we previously advised, TW owes no one but Elin any apology and should have used his time for something else. One thing however, there was no Elin's sighting and his wedding band is also still missing. However, in Africa men marry up to 50 wives, so what the heck if he merely slept with some cheap whores?

ICHEOKU, A WHITE DOMESTIC TERRORIST ATTACKS IRS!

Frustrated and possibly deranged software engineer, Joseph Andrew Stack, flew a plane into an IRS building, and thereby proving that such a terrorist act as was witnessed on 9/11 is no longer an exclusive preserve of Islamic terrorists. Further that what international al-queida terrorist can do, a white domestic terrorist can also do? To the Joe lingos of 'Joe the Plumber' and 'Joe Six-Packs', is now added another Joe, 'Joe the domestic terrorist'? Icheoku only hopes that this Joe goes straight to hell where he will meet the other domestic white terrorist Timothy McVeigh for their re-union party of shed innocent blood. What a shame!

ICHEOKU, DANJUMA DOES NOT NEED HIS $500 MILLION DOLLARS LOOT?

Theophilus Danjuma has finally disclosed how the north shares the loot it pillages from Nigeria. According to this maga-dog genocidal army man, the late midget of Kano Sani Abacha gave him an oil well which he sold for $1 billion dollars? Continuing the narrative, he paid Abacha and his cronies their share of $500 million dollars and kept $500 million dollars for himself? Now the bloody bastard is thumbing his chest over this plunder. The said oil block is OML130 located about 100 miles off the coast of PortHarcourt and has a daily output of about 225,000 barrels of oil or equivalent of 9% of Nigeria's total daily output. Icheoku says, a Danjuma from Taraba State in the north got such an oil well in Rivers State in the south, whereas the people of Rivers State who rightfully owns the oil are not given any oil well? After such blatant public disclosure, who in Nigeria will still blame the Niger Delta militants for blowing things up out of frustration. This explains why the north does not want to ever let go of power because of the easy money it provides them. Money which a typical southerner with a Ph.D and gifted industry, will never ever dream of in a lifetime, while a semi-illiterate army man named Danjuma, a northerner is abundantly reaping a bounty from oil naturally belonging to the people of Rivers State. Say it ain't so, Nigerians!

ICHEOKU, THE MAFIA DON IN QUANDARY?

ICHEOKU, BAYH SAYS BYE TO THE SENATE!

Indiana Senator Evan Bayh has bid farewell to the senate, saying that he will not run for re-election in November 2010? According to him, the bitter partisan divides that have dominated Congress in recent years have taken a toll on him forcing him to make the decision. Icheoku says, it took this senator 12 long years to finally realise that Washington is bitterly partisan? What changed suddenly or is it the same tag-team, surreptiously working to get "that one" out of office? Anyway, best of luck senator!

ICHEOKU, A WALRUS KICKED OFF PLANE?

Actor/film director Kevin Smith threw tantrum because he was kicked out of a SouthWest plane for simply being too fat he could not fit into one single seat? Icheoku admonishes, if you know you are 'way fat', why not do something about it instead of complaining that whales are not allowed to fly on SouthWest airplanes? Have you heard of the "Biggest Loser" lately or better still, stitch your mouth or staple your stomach. But hey, do not hold an airplane hostage because of what you brought unto yourself by indulging excessively!

ICHEOKU, POLITICS WITHOUT BITTERNESS?

Defeated Andy Uba (r) of Labour Party paid a unity-visit to victorious Peter Obi (l) of APGA! Icheoku commends this political gamesmanship as a way to instal lasting democracy. We urge other unsuccessful candidates in the February 6, 2010 Anambra State, Nigeria, governorship election to follow suit, particularly Chukwuma Soludo of the PDP and Chris Ngige of the AC, and in the spirit of one 'Anambra-ness', demonstrate that united we stand! Way to go Andy, and thanks for showing good example of how to play politics.

ICHEOKU, ARE THE YORUBAS REALLY SERIOUS THIS TIME?

"If you cannot move forward with a partner, you should be able to retrace your steps,” so said OPC (Oduduwa Peoples Congress) the Yoruba militant group, regarding the intractable northern Nigerians incessant blood-letting and wanton killing of Southern Nigerians! Icheoku says, if only these people of South West had vision and fore-sight, may be the recurring problem of Nigeria would have since been solved four decades ago; but no, they sabotaged the Biafran effort when they flipped over, advocating "hunger as the best instrument of warfare", resulting in today's more emboldened arrant arrogance of the north! Remorse, regret or what? Anyway, the wait across the River Niger continues!

ICHEOKU, ANAMBRA PEOPLE EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT, VOTE RIGHT!

ICHEOKU, ATIKU THE MONEY LAUNDERER!

ICHEOKU, FREE THE TEN AMERICAN BAPTISTS NOW!

The government in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, should as a matter of utmost immediacy, free those ten American baptists, arrested and now charged for "kidnapping" the Haitian 33? Icheoku says, the charge is ridiculous to say the least, since those kids parents admitted giving their children away to these baptists! So where then is the beef; now it is either they comply forthwith or no more aid/help goes into that country, coming out of America! What a crass high handedness by a bunch of fat-heads with misplaced priorities!

ICHEOKU, TEXAS BASED NIGERIAN COUPLE HEADS TO PRISON!

ICHEOKU, BRAVO DORA AKUNYILI FOR STANDING UP!

Once again, Igbos have been made proud by one of their own, Professor Dora Akunyili, who stood up to be counted as the lone voice in the FEC to ask sickly Umaru Yar'Adua to step aside. Like former Chief of Staff Ebitu Ukiwe stood up against the northern establishment mallams in uniforms, Madam Information Minsiter has once again displayed the bravery the Igbo people are reputed for. Icheoku says, if only the rest of Southern Nigerians are as daring, maybe all these northern Nigerian messing around would have since stopped. Way to go, Madam Information Minister, congratulations!

ICHEOKU, THE JOHN EDWARDS OF SOUTH AFRICA!

President Jacob Zuma fathers a love-child and the ANC does not see anything 'shameful' with it? Icheoku says, the thing shameful about it is that he is the president of South Africa and is supposed to show good example to the people. He is a polygamist and committed an adultery by having sex with this baby-mama which is not a sign of a good moral example? Here is a man who is both raw and crude, lacks the urbane of Mandela and the civility of Mbeki; and who instead of governing is busy dipping his manhood in different sized holes in South Africa? What another curse of the African continent in the making which this Zulu warrior is proving to be? What a shame; maybe he should resign the presidency and become a full Zulu King with 1000 wives and 1000 concunbines?

ICHEOKU, LADY GAGA GOES COMPLETELY CUCKOO?

What an outrageous outfit on a non-sexy skeletal body-frame? Icheoku condemns this whore-like attire as too explicit; and says Lady Gaga have now pushed the button too far and should be held accountable. Better still, she should change her name by removing the 'Lady' therein and replace it with 'Nudist' or 'Stripper' Gaga' since none of her acts is ever lady-like! Some ladies which Icheoku know, do not exhibit their crotch so unabashedly, blatantly and disrespectfully that it loses its appeal and value. Where are those Adam Lambert's bashers and it is instructive that children were watching the Grammys 2010 too!

ICHEOKU, AS IT HAPPENS!

"2 more Nigerians out of a population of about 150 million Nigerians" have again been arrested in Malaysia for “acts of terrorism”? May be they were just trying to prove Nigerian government officials wrong and that northern Nigerian international terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was not just one stray cat or the only Nigerian terrorist out there? Admitted he blazed the trail as the first internationally recognised Nigerian terrorist; yet the government is arguing that Nigeria is not a "terrorist state" and should not have been designated as a terrorist "country of interest"?

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Also the human-rabbit mom of Arkansas, Michelle Duggar has delivered her 19th litter, named Josie! Icheoku says, this baby-factory and her horny-dog husband's heads need to be examined!

ICHEOKU, FROM OSAMA TO OBAMA WITH HATE!

The world-wide face of terrorism, Osama bin Laden has acknowledged that he sent the Northern NIgerian terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on his failed death-mission to Detroit. Icheoku says, that now completes Umar's resume as an enemy combatant and terrorist deserving the almighty lethal injection? Needless to mention that the senior Mutallab and suspected terrorism sponsor, turned down an invitation by the United States senate committee on foreign relations to show up and throw more light on his son's terrorism.

ICHEOKU, NORTHERN NIGERIAN TERRORISTS ARE BACK!

Northern Nigerian terrorists, under the guise of religious zealotry/fanaticism have so far killed 460 Nigerians, without any justification except the spread of their gutter religion! Icheoku condemns this incessant, wanton wastages of human lives and call on the authorities of Jos and Nigeria to do something drastic to forever excise this cancer of terrorism, masquerading as religious riots. What kind of stupid religion approves the killing of God's children and supposedly under Allah/God's name? If it means banning certain religious sects in Nigeria, so be it; but enough of these recurring madness!

ICHEOKU, A HAITI ON ITS BACK NEEDS YOUR HELP!

With 200,000 people dead, 250,000 wounded and another 1.5 million people displaced, hungry and homeless; Icheoku says, Haiti is crying out loud for your immediate attention. There are so much work to be done to keep the living alive and the dead disposed? So please call 1-800-RED-CROSS today to contribute to the effort to help a traumatised Haiti get a handle on what happened. A 7.3 earthquake is rather too cruel a hand dealt by mother-nature on such a poor nation, that was already down and out before the catastrophy struck? Thanks for helping out!

ICHEOKU, A NIGERIAN OFFICIAL FINALLY DIES IN A LOCAL HOSPITAL?

Surprise, surprise; a former Nigerian government official died in a local hospital in Nigeria? Icheoku says, it is unbelieveable that former Governor of Niger State Dr Musa Inuwa would allow himself to die at a local Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital, Shika, Niger State? What changed or was he too sick to also run off or be flown to a foreign hospital somewhere in the world, only to eventually die there and have his cadaver shipped back to Nigeria as a cargo, for burial? Anyway, our condolences to his family.

ICHEOKU, CONSERVATIVES ARE MEAN & INSENSITIVE PEOPLE!

The flag bearer of American conservatism, Rush Limbaugh has shown once again why President GW Bush ran for president on grounds of compassionate conservatism! Rush Limbaugh and co conservative 'man of devil' Pat Robertson, by their utterances on Haiti in anguish, showed how horrible and inhumane that ideology is. Rush Limbaugh's hatred for dark-skinned people which he shows daily by his unceasing and unwarranted attack on President Obama has now gone international? His disdain for the 'black' President prompted him to condemn the "rush to help Haiti pick up the pieces"? This is a below the par hateful racist's comment. Icheoku says these people have no blood in their veins; they are ugly, vicious, uncaring, unfeeling and would rather every black person on earth dies off and leave the world for their pale-skinned white folks?

ICHEOKU, LOST BUT FOUND AND ALIVE UMARU?

President Umaru Yar'Adua of Nigeria was found alive by a foreign media in a foreign hospital in Saudi Arabia? Does this make the Saudis liars since they had earlier denied having Yar'Adua in their land? Yar'Adua said he was making 'a good recovery' and will return to Nigeria as soon as his doctors discharge him to resume his duties. Icheoku says, the voice sounded Yar'Adua-ish and we urge his minders to now make a visual of him available. Also why did it take a foreign media to locate and interview a Nigeria's previously missing president when AIT and NTA could have been given the scoop? Only in Nigeria where foreign is always better!

ICHEOKU, IT IS CALLED TOUGH-LOVE, JUBRIL AMINU!

Professor Jibril Aminu is wondering out loud why Nigeria is not having it easy with President Barack Obama's administration? According to him, the administration "does not like Nigeria, as Nigeria had it better under Clinton and Bush than under our fellow brother from Africa, Obama".

Icheoku says, the simple answer is that Obama wants Nigeria to succeed, hence his stick and carrot approach! Being an African himself, he is ashamed at the apology that is Nigeria, which have suffered stunted growth despite every potential to be great. Unlike the previous governments which merely saw Nigeria as a source of their oil, President Obama sees a potential giant that needs to wake up, get off its butt and thrive. Obama is determined to do just that, hence the ensuing discipline! President Obama does not dislike Nigeria, but is only pushing Nigeria to succeed; employing his 'spare the rod and spoil the kid' philosophy to achieve this objective. Get it Professor!

ICHEOKU, FATHER OF THE TERRORIST IS COMING TO AMERICA?

Icheoku says, barring a congressional immunity Dr. Umaru Mutallab should be arrested upon his upcoming arrival in the United States, to help explain how much support he has given to Islamic terrorists all over the world and over the years? His alleged report of his son to the authorities is quite suspicious. At what time relative to his son's spanned extremism did he make this alleged report. His own known support for Islamic charities is also troubling. Therefore with such many red-flags, he has a case to answer and should be picked up upon entry.

ICHEOKU, THE AIR-HEAD GETS HIRED AT FOX!

Fox News Network has hired former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, whose over-sexed daughter Bristol is in court with her baby daddy Levi Johnston over child support payment? Icheoku says, Sarah 'beauty and no brain' Palin is eminently qualified to work at Fox, she meets all the requirements, including being very dumb, an extremist and an agenda driven vixen! Like the rest of the not so well-informed Fox rat-pack, Sarah now joins Mike Huckabee as part of the recovering republicans who now call Fox home. Remember Karl Rove gets on their tube periodically. If Icheoku may suggests, let Sarah's show be called 'Lipstick on a pitbull".

ICHEOKU, JUBRIL AMINU SUPPORTS TERRORISM?

"Americans are the architects of their own security problems and drowning popularity, borne out of their foreign policy in the Middle East, where they are noted for taking sides with the Israelis against the Palestinians!" - Senator Jubril Aminu of Nigeria. Icheoku asks, is this man trying to rationalise terrorism? The chairman of NIgeria's senate committee on foreign affairs and who allegedly indulged himself in a $12million SIEMENS bribery has once again shown that Islamic sharia Northern Nigeria is not any different from other terrorist Islamic countries of the world, and his people gave the world the curse known as Abdulmutallab!

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA'S INVISIBLE PRESIDENT?

President Umaru Yar'Adua is telepathically running Nigeria from an undisclosed location somewhere in the Arabian desert! Rumour has it that he is being attended to by a marabout, western medicine having failed to fix what is broken inside his body? If you find him, please tell him to return back to Nigeria immediately as there are so many important state-matters needing his presidential attention, including his cousin's terrorist act against the United States for which Nigeria is now branded a "terror country of interest!" Courtesy of the BBC, Umaru Yar'Adua has earned the title of "an invisible president of Nigeria."

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA'S PRESIDENT STILL MISSING?

Almost two weeks since his Katsina State cousin tried to blow up an American passenger plane in Detroit, President Umaru Yar'Adua of Nigeria is still in incommunicado and in an undisclosed location. A place not even known to his vice president Jonathan Goodluck somewhere supposedly in Saudi Arabia? But the Saudis have denied any knowledge of Umaru's whereabout which begs the question, where then is Nigerian ailing president? Icheoku wonders how the recently conferred 'terrorist state' is coping in the absence of a clear central authority at the helm of affairs therein? So where is the AWOL president of a country at the cross-hairs of international anti-terrorism initiatives?

ICHEOKU, WHAT WE ARE ABOUT!

Once again, it has become imperative for us to re-emphasis that we are not reporters nor do we do stories. No, we are commentators! We are a global platform for political and social commentary; we comment on political and social developments and events, including news and stories already reported and written. Our 'focus' is 'our take' on what is, which to some 'warped minds' may appear as a "regurgitation of what has already been written in other newspapers?" That "dose" of our perspective is what we bring to the table at www.icheoku.com. So for those critics who do not know exactly what we do or pretend they don't, now you know what we are about at http://www.icheoku.com/.

ICHEOKU, AFRICAN-WOMEN-AWARNESS IN DC ALERT!

ICHEOKU, MARK AND BANKOLE CAN BREAK THE IMPASSE?

NIgeria tithering on the precipice and held hostage to President Umaru Yar'Adua's sickness, can be set free if only the Senate and the House have the gut to do what is necessary. Icheoku says, admitted Yar'Adua does not want to yield power because power is intoxicating; but NIgerians can take back what they gave to him - the power! Just declare his extended absence in Saudi Arabia an abdication of office and yank away those powers, simple! But unfortunately, David Mark and Oladimeji Bankole are both collaborators and so, Nigerians will have to wait until hell freezes over for the fog of uncertainty in the presidency to lift off.

ICHEOKU, THE ROUTING IS NOW COMPLETE!

With the taking over of the chairmanship of the PPPRA by the former chairman of the PDP, Dr. Ahmadu Ali, Icheoku laments that the routing of southerners by the northerners in the control of Nigeria's oil sector, which ironically is in the south, is now complete?

These northerners, do they have any sense of fairness at all, one may ask? The Petroleum Minister is a northerner, NNPC Managing Director is a northerner and now the Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Authority has also been hijacked by yet another northerner! Whether this is due to the arrogance of the north or the complacency of the south, Icheoku is yet to conclusively figure out; but it does not look good or seem to be fair and/or reasonable! Something ought to and should yield in the interest of a harmonious existence.

ICHEOKU, TEXAS WOMAN CHARGED WITH 911 ABUSE!

A 53 year old Kerryville-Texas woman called 911 because her husband refused to eat his dinner and is now charged with 911 abuse? Icheoku says, holly molly; when we think we have heard it all with a woman calling 911 by 2.00am because her son will not put down his Nintendo game and go to bed; and another because McDonald's ran out of her favorite fish mack and chicken nuggets; now this woman called 911 just because her husband will not eat? What if her food was not apertizing enough or the husband had eaten outside? Wonders shall never end and it is in Texas, again!

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA WE HAIL THEE?

15 long years after the government of Nigeria made a gift of houses to Nigeria's victorious national team, in 1994 Tunisia Africa Nations Cup, the players-beneficiaries are yet to receive or even know the location of their now turned "Greek-gifts" houses? Icheoku says, what a dysfunctional nation, under seige by a discredited and rudderless leadership, who are very big on promises but coy on fulfilling them. Where then lies the incentive for another performance in South Africa 2010 FIFA world cup? What a shame!

ICHEOKU, UGANDA IS THE NEW WATERLOO FOR SAME-SEX PEOPLE!

Being gay is not so cool in Uganda, where same-sex persons will soon begin to face the death penalty? Icheoku condemns this intolerance as homophobic, barbaric, a misplaced pandering and an abuse of powers in a country where corruption runs very high, and people are starving and dying of basic necessities! Instead of protecting the rights of these minorities, the government is becoming an instrument of terror, festering hate and approving the taking of life of people who simply choose differently? Another black eye on the African continent, definitely!

ICHEOKU, THUMBS UP FOR ACF!

" In the event of any need to engage in the politics of succession, it is the position of the ACF that the provisions of the Nigerian constitution should remain the only effective guide for the process." - Arewa Consultative Forum on the possible succession of the indisposed President Umaru Yar'Adua!

Icheoku commends this ACF magnanimity and says, such audacious position shows that there is still some shimmer of hope for a Nigeria at cross-roads. Way to go, Arewa! It also shows that northerners may not necessarily be the monster they are made out to be, what say you?

ICHEOKU, TEFLON-DON JAMES ONANEFE IBORI WALKS!

Imagine none of the 170-counts charge brought against him for corruption, abuse of office and money laundering stuck? A seemingly compromised judge, Justice Marcel Awokulehin dismissed the entire case for 'lack of merit;' and thereby canonised Ibori into an "innocent Saint Ibori"? Did the judge also apologise to Ibori for the inconvenience of the 'nuisance sham-trial?' Imagine the quantum of frustration at the EFCC to see yet another one of their effort at fighting corruption in Nigeria go up in flames; sabotaged and frustrated in this cavalier manner by a judge who now appears to aid and abet criminality?

ICHEOKU, NIGERIA SUPREME COURT SAYS TO SOLUDO "YES YOU CAN!"

The yo-yo, roller-coaster, stop and go, that is Anambra State PDP governorship candidacy of Soludo once again received a greenlight to proceed. The supreme court overruled the court of appeal's earlier ban and now says, Soludo is it! Icheoku says, what Tony Anenih wants, Tony Anenih gets; and so the PDP might as well proceed and swear-in Soludo as the next governor of Anambra State; instead of taking Anambraians through another charade of an election, only to later impose him on the state as the governor notwithstanding the fact of the vote-cast and the wishes of the electorates!

ICHEOKU, 'NOBODY CAN TAKE AWAY YAR'ADUA'S POWERS'?

"God has bestowed leadership on Yar'Adua and nobody can take it away from him. We only need to pray for him fervently, for him to get well soon and continue with the good work he is doing in the nation." - Sultan of Sokoto Sadiq Abubakar.

Icheoku says, what an arrogant statement by the turban-wearing leader of Nigerian Muslims that Yar'Adua's presidency is non-negotiable? Yes, 'no one can remove him', but at least the constitution can, should and will eventually take away Yar'Adua's powers! What 'good work' is this Sokoto mullah talking about here; or is he just protecting his golden goose?

ICHEOKU, YAR'ADUA SHOULD ABIDE BY THE CONSTITUTION!

"So, no one should view calls that the President should invoke Section 145 as not meaning well for him. I must emphasise that the office of the President is a creation of the constitution. His powers, tenure and everything about the office of the President are creations of the constitution. So, it would not help for constitutional government if we do not act according to the terms of the constitution when the need arises and we bring in all sorts of arguments and speculations to scuttle the issue.

"Many would look at the idea of the President handing over power as un-African. But I think we are not talking about Africanness, Nigerianness and tradition. He is not a traditional ruler, who should be in office for life and who would depend for his tenure on some oracular divination or what have you. I think strictly, the President should run the office and those who advise him must do things in accordance with the constitutional provision." - Professor Auwalu Yadudu

icheoku

MARION GOTZE, THE MAN WHO SEALED IT FOR GERMANY.

DUTCH, WHEN A CHAMPION SETTLES FOR THIRD PLACE?

DUTCH LOSS, REGRETTABLE.

NETHERLANDS V. GERMANY - FIFA WORLD CUP 2014 FINALS?

FIFA WORLD CUP BRAZIL 2014, LETS PLAY SOCCER.

CHIBOK ABDUCTION, BOKO HARAM OVERREACHES SELF.

MADIBA, IN MEMORIAM

GUITAR HERO, NIGERIA GUITAR PLAYING PRESIDENT.

VLADIMIR AND LYUDMILA, NO LONGER AN ITEM!

OBASANJO, DESERVES TO BE CAGED - YAKASSI.

ORAL SEX IS DANGEROUS, WARNS MICHAEL DOUGLAS?

BOSTON MARATHON BOMBERS, HEADED TO NEW YORK.

ORJI KALU SHOWS THE WAY FORWARD FOR THE IGBO

CHINUA ACHEBE DEAD AT 82, ADIEU.

QUOTE ON THE MARBLE.

MEDICORITY IS KILLING NIGERIA - CHINUA ACHEBE

ONLY THE POOR WISH THEY HAD STUFF?

A GOOD MAN IS A GOOD MAN - MADONNA

ABATI'S ODE TO JONATHAN, A RESPONSE.

PUTIN, REHABILITATE YOURSELF

SACRIFICE IS THE KEY.

OBAMA ON CHANGE

NAGGING KILLS, COMMUNICATION SAVES !

HIV/AIDS ALERT !

ICHEOKU RECOMMENDS, RADIO STATIONS TO DIE FOR !

THANK GOD WE DO NOT LIVE THERE, IRAN AND SAUDI ARABIA.

A WORD MADE FOR NIGERIA GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS?

THE PROBLEM OF IGBO PEOPLE, IDENTIFIED!

ICHEOKU SAYS, BEHOLD THE CARNAGE OF DOGO NAHAWA, JOS-NIGERIA!

http://www.anglican dioceseofjos. org/dogo. html

Saturday, December 5, 2009

WWE UMAGA, DIES OF HEART-ATTACK!

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EMIR OF KANO, DEAD AT 81

Translate Icheoku

NELSON MANDELA 1918 - 2013.

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THE CHILD WHO HUGGED THE POPE.

BRITISH MONARCHY, A NEW KING IS BORN!

AMERICA BIDS FAREWELL TO NIGERIAN OIL?

NIGHT STALKER, STALKED BY DEATH

PINI JASON, REST IN PEACE.

"DARK-SKINNED" BOSTON BOMBER WAS ACUTALLY "WHITE-SKINNED?"

A SMILING POPE FOR A CHANGE THE WORLD CAN USE.

OBASANJO IS DELUSIONAL, NEVER HAD A PAST?

PAULA BROADWELL, THE WOMAN WHO TOOK DOWN GENERAL PETRAEUS.

2012 CHAMPIONS, SF GIANTS.

ITS 'HORSES AND BAYONETS' FOR THE MITT.

SENATOR ARLEN SPECTER IS DEAD.

CHINUA ACHEBE HAS A NEW BOOK, 'THERE WAS A COUNTRY', READ IT.

PLANE WINDOWS AND ME - MITT.ROMNEY

GREEN MILE MICHAEL CLARKE-DUNCAN, DEAD AT 54.

ETHIOPIA LOSES PRIME MINISTER

STEVE, THE BLIND WONDER, DIVORCES WIFE NUMBER TWO.

IMMIGRATION PROBLEMS, ONE SOLUTION CENTER

REST IN PEACE ALEX.

CATHOLIC MONSIGNOR HEADS TO PRISON!

DICK CHENEY'S LESBIAN DAUGHTER TIES THE KNOT.

TO THE KING OR QUEEN, MORE STUFF.

CONGRATULATIONS MADAM FACEBOOK!

DONNA SUMMER, DEAD OF LUNG CANCER.

MARTIN "BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE" LAWRENCE JOINS THE ONCE MARRIED.

MIKE WALLACE JOINS OTHER DEPARTED 60 MINUTES HOSTS.

DENNIS RODMAN HITS FINANCIAL ROCK BOTTOM.

BIANCA EMBODIES GRACE IN MOURNING,

SARKOZY WANTS FRANCE FOR THE FRENCH ONLY?

SANDRA FLUKE, RUSH LIMBAUGH OVERREACHED HIMSELF AND SHOULD PAY A PENALTY.

ICHEOKU Pageviews

ALLEN IVERSON, BROKE AND WONDERING WHERE HIS STASH WENT?

KABIRU SOKOTO, BOKO HARAM KINGPIN RE-CAPTURED?

SAM ALUKO TOO, DYING SEASON MAY BE?

DANTATA IS DEAD!

MATTHEW MBU, DEAD AT 82.

THE HUMAN HOUR-GLASS?

MORMONS DELIVERS NEVADA TO ROMNEY?

"SOMEONE IN HERE HAS BROKEN UP A FAMILY." - REV RUSSELL MOORE.

NEW IGP's MISSION STATEMENT.

SO LONG LIBYAN REVOLUTION, ENTER SHARIA-SEEKING ISLAMISTS.

MITT ROMNEY HAS NO CORE - AMERICA BRIDGE 21ST CENTURY.