Icheoku says to all those humans out there who are lucky in love, happy Val's day to you. Remember to always appreciate what you got - your partner; because without him or her, you would probably be still wallowing in the loneliness and loveless wilderness of life. Remember you are nobody until someone loves you and now be happy that someone really does. But for all those other sapiens and aliens out there, who are from outer space and who are daydreaming of that suitor molded after their delusional fantasy, Icheoku says, wake up and smell the coffee before it is too late; as you may have to wait until life hereafter to ask your maker why HE did not create your idealized and customized spouse in addition to Adam and Eve.
In any other event however, have yourselves a wonderful love-filled Valentine's day and continue in that travel-lane till this time next year. Remember to make loving your partner the second oxygen in your life - a constant intake and a never ending dosage. Happy Valentine's day to you and please remember to love more today than you loved yesterday and continue doing so, incrementally and in perpetuity, in all the days after February 14th.
Acceptance but not mere tolerance of your partner is the key to ever lasting happiness in every relationships. You must see and treat your partner respectfully as one of the best things that ever happened to you; the one meant for you and the one always there for you, otherwise your paths wouldn't have conclusively crossed in the first place. Always see in your man that Brad Pitt you wished and still salivates for; and of course the man must also always see in his wife the Angelina Jolie of women, he shudders at their imagination.
Also endeavor to appreciate your spouse more today than you did yesterday. Appreciation includes saying thank you to your spouse for anything he or she does in furtherance of your happiness and in making your life more livable, no matter how small. Remember that the thought of the deed is far more important than the deed itself, admitted the deed finally crystallized the hitherto unknown thought for you to actually see or feel. Appreciation also includes saying that you are sorry and asking for forgiveness whenever you err; instead of the destructive, obstinate, headstrong show of stubbornness and claim of right or entitlement to do whatever and however you please, regardless of the hurt and pain caused to the other spouse. This includes finding the time and patience to listen through concerns when expressed. Unneeded and avoidable strong-headiness never yields anything good but estrangement; and tone deafness is the number love-killer known to mankind.
Remember that the Golden Rule rules supreme in every relationship and if you don't want some nasty, please don't dish nasty to the other spouse; otherwise what makes you think that such would be liked by or acceptable to him or her? In every contested position, try fitting your feet in the other spouse's shoes and ask yourself would you take it yourself if the table turned? if his or her lens are seeing things in different shades, why not momentarily borrow them to see if you could similarly so see from his or her perceptive? Ask yourself, if you at the receiving end of the arrow you are throwing at your spouse, how receptive would you be at watching it piercing your heart in the same fashion? Always remember that it is not for you to determine whether your action was wrong or offensive to the other spouse; it is the victim-spouse who reserves the sole right to so point it out and for you to atone for your infra-dig and make up.
Finally remember that both of you are humans with feelings which can sometimes be hurt and needs some sincere acts of mea culpa in order to heal properly. Do not wait until your action ruins what you have going for you by turning the other party to a living-dead zombie, who is either forced to tune-out or simply ignore you, leading to other consequential vices including cheating and lying that may eventually lead to divorce and other not so happy endings. So to couples in love, the real lovers not the jokers, Icheoku says, resolve today to be the best spouse you can be and there is, and sit back and watch your relationship sizzle. Choose today to be a lover not a fighter; a lover not a nagger; a lover not a cheater; a lover not an abuser and watch your love-life take a turn for the best. Please remember to love like you really mean it, with all your heart, head and body; and without any reservation whatsoever. If not for him or her, who? That's the spirit of the day and so, once again Happy Valentines Day to you all. Ciao amore!
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Christy 'Apena' Essien-Igbokwe , the wife of Jegede Shokoya of the New Masquerade and Nigeria's lady of songs is dead; she was 51years old. Although her family claimed that "brief Illness" killed her like so many Nigerians; Icheoku retorts that it was most likely AKwa Ibom voodoo and remote control that was used to arrest her. It is on record that she had fallen out with the governor of her native Akwa Ibiom State and have been having a relentless war for political turf with the governor? So who knows whether she was sacrificed to Ekpe cult or even Alusi-Okija as an offal; afterall African science is still very much alive and portent. May her soul rest in peace.
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