BUHARI, THE CHATHAM HOUSE THEATRICS?

Icheoku watched the Muhammadu Buhari  drama at The British Royal Institute of International Affairs, Chatham House, London. Judging from his body language - gait, vocal tensity and clarity of eyes, it would appear that Muhammadu Buhari, if indeed sick, has either recovered enough or held himself well enough through the duration of his  performance. He did not overtly appear to be  laboring under the weight of sickness nor one heavily infused and sedated with morphine or other form of barbiturates to enable him withstand the rigors of the show he put up. Overall, his performance was tolerable and well above mediocre to earn him at least a B-minus. Well done Muhammadu Buhari for at least showing up and putting up, despite rumors of near-death or being gravely ill and medically indisposed. 

However, it is very unfortunate and quite ironical that the same Muhammadu Buhari who will not debate and obstinately refused to debate his plans for Nigerians  either in Lagos or Abuja, found the cozy comforts of British Chatham House in London, a more appealing a place, to tell Nigerians and the world what his plans for Nigerians, if elected, are and from a faraway foreign soil?  It is not as if Nigeria Institute of International Affairs is not comparable  to its British counterpart, The Royal Institute of International Affairs Chatham House.  Probably, he is still very much tied to his nostalgia of the colonial past, to make him prefer a colonial British institute to that of an independent Nigeria, as a preferred venue for his outreach. Icheoku says only Muhammadu Buhari can answer for the decisions and actions of Muhammadu Buhari, as that is above Icheoku's pay grade to proffer any exact explanation. 

Icheoku maintains that Buhari's preference of a foreign institute to Nigeria's own institute for his outreach is not only unpatriotic but a perversion of the first order, especially for someone desiring to lead Nigeria.  Therefore, it should be condemned by every freedom loving Nigerian who is happy that Nigeria is still an independent and free country. Icheoku says if Muhammadu Buhari has something to say to Nigerians or even the world for that matter, he should have proudly said it in the country he wants to lead and not at some other foreign country. In this Internet age, what he said at Nigeria Institute of International Affairs would have still traveled to any part of the world within seconds and so he does not necessarily need to go to London to say it for the world to hear him. Icheoku admonishes that Muhammadu Buhari could start making amends for this slight on Nigerians, the people he is seeking their mandate, by finally accepting to debate issues facing them right here at home in Nigeria but not on any foreign soil. 

Nigeria's democracy and the forthcoming election are both internal affairs of Nigeria and cannot be tele-guided from any colonial masters' 10 Downing Street or their Chatham House or by any other foreign interest whatsoever. Icheoku is emphatic that the British people are not going to choose Nigeria's president for Nigerians, Nigerians will. Muhammadu Buhari is fully aware of this imperative yet he stonewalled debates in Nigeria but gladly went to London to enumerate his plans for Nigerians instead of in Nigeria their homeland? Icheoku queries, why did Muhammadu Buhari not debate those Nigerian issues within Nigeria, but would rather do so in British Chatham House? It also did not bother  Muhammadu Buhari that close to 75% of voting Nigerians are rural dwellers who never heard about a Chatham House nor would otherwise care about whatever the hell he said there. 

So what then is the utility of his theatrics at Chatham House in respect of a purely Nigeria local election, one may ask? Even deferring to some of his admirers who would like Nigerians to believe that his Chatham House appearance is somewhat a foreign policy swat; but why did he not first debate those issues at home before taking them and his adventurous campaign overseas or does charity no longer begin from home? Icheoku says if Muhammadu Buhari seriously wants Nigerians to truly know why he is running for president, he should come back to Nigeria and address the Nigerian voting public directly. He can do so either at Nigeria's own Nigeria Institute of International Affairs in Victoria Island using the same format of a scripted address if he prefers that or do it at the NTA via a nationally televised debate. But unfortunately, he seems not to be  comfortable with the idea of addressing Nigeria's needs directly to Nigerians at home, but would rather scurry away to faraway London to address Nigerians while performing his part in the  scripted theatrics witnessed. 

Icheoku was expecting Scotland Yard to invite Muhammadu Buhari for a chat over the botched kidnap of Umaru Dikko. A crime committed on British soil by persons engaged by then Muhammadu Buhari led military junta; but instead they looked the other way while Muhammadu Buhari strolled in their Chatham House to deliver his scripted address. Icheoku wonders whether crimes are now selectively enforced in Her Majesty's United Kingdom or is kidnapping no longer a crime in the United Kingdom? Otherwise why did the British authorities not at least invite Muhammadu Buhari to explain why his junta attempted to kidnap a man who sought and obtained a protective political asylum in Britain? Even the fact of other reprehensible things carried out by Muhammadu Buhari infamous regime of horror in Nigeria, including unprintable violations and vagrant abuse of human rights, causing mayhem and committing murders of three innocent Nigerians, did also not move the British authorities and its security agencies to pull Buhari in for questioning?  Icheoku asks, does Nigeria and Nigerians still have a friend in such a Britain which would not take any action to question this known despot but choose instead to wish for Nigerians what they would not accept nor take themselves - a scofflaw for president?  But luckily, Nigerians are a lot wiser today than when they were colonized by Britain and will not fall for this attempt to impose a spent and tired despot on the country, not now, not again, never. 

Now analyzing the meat of the address at Chatham House:- Icheoku commends Muhammadu Buhari for affirming that "it is in Nigerians collective interests that the outcome of the election should be respected by all parties." Icheoku says this is highly important and quite reassuring because it is the same Muhammadu Buhari's party, the APC, that threatened to reject any election outcome which does not have the APC as the victorious party? It is the same Muhammadu Buhari's APC that further threatened to form a parallel government, in any event the party lost the election, as expected? So Icheoku asks, is the assurance given at London Chatham House by Muhammadu Buhari conditional upon the APC winning the election or is it all covering with respect to the other party PDP winning the election, as expected? Icheoku says provided Muhammadu Buhari will not later change his mind but will stick to his expressed desire to see the election result respected; and respect same when the current APC propaganda fizzles out and Nigerians settle down to the reality of a President Jonathan reelected, then it is a statement well made and appreciated by all peace-loving Nigerians including Icheoku. 

Gladly enough too, Muhammadu Buhari in his address at Chatham House, mentioned the "the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, the dissolution of the USSR in 1991, the collapse of communism and the end of the Cold War." However he purposely and coyly chose not to elaborate further that all these history-changing events of many decades ago, took place long after he, Muhammadu Buhari, first came to power in Nigeria?  Yet this is the same Muhammadu Buhari who wants to return back to power again in Nigeria in this new millennium 2015? Before you vote Nigerians, ask yourselves, is it that no leadership material was ever trained or raised since then or that Nigeria cannot survive without a recycled, tired and retired, old despot named Muhammadu Buhari, a man notorious for his merciless draconian rule? Nigerians should therefore ignore whatever antics the APC campaign consultants from the United States and United Kingdom are desperately deploying to get him back into Nigeria's seat of power. A leopard does not change its spots and those who perished because of Muhammadu Buhari's ruthlessness cannot be resurrected back to life. So why give Muhammadu Buhari a second chance at power when many of his victims never had any but are gone forever due to his making? At least, fairness demands that he should be similarly denied and must not be allowed to have a second chance at power or a do over. 

Muhammadu Buhari should instead be apologizing to Nigerians for the damage he caused to both their psyche and democracy; but not to so  desperately be coveting their seat of power again. Icheoku states that a military "were unhappy with the state of affairs in a country" is never an impetus for overthrowing a legitimate government. It is not the forte of the military to dabble into policy making or judging and guiding the direction of governance; theirs is to protect and defend the country, period. It is therefore an arrant nonsense of an excuse for Muhammadu Buhari to give for disrupting a then budding democracy in Nigeria which would have fully matured by now. It is an gross meddling by Buhari and his co-travelers in truncating Nigeria's democracy, which fallout, the country is still suffering from till date. Needless to add that Muhammadu Buhari's fellow coupists and conspirators in crime, who went on to succeed him in power, Ibrahim Babangida and Sani Abacha, exhibited the most ruinous regimes Nigeria ever witnessed - wrecked the country, caused additional and unquantifiable havoc thereon. 

Muhammadu Buhari's Chatham House address was David Axelrod's midwifed and every line Obamanistic, in both style and content. From "shared prosperity" to "safety nets" to "(shovel-ready) public works" to "unleash the pent-up ingenuity and productivity of the (American people) Nigerian people" to 'a society that works for all, rich and poor alike' to "leading from the front" which was culled from Romney accusation that  President Obama was leading from behind?  What a pity-party of an excursion into America politics while forgetting that Nigeria is entirely a different clime and what sells in America will not necessarily be bought by Nigerians. It was vintage David Axelrod but without candidate Obama, who has now been supplanted with a septuagenarian named Muhammadu Buhari. The content was so Obama-ish as one could easily  see the brain-trust of David Axelrod in nearly everything that oozed out of Buhari's mouth. But for the fact that the same David Axelrod is also consulting for APC Team Buhari campaign, the plagiarized Chatham House speech would have been roundly condemned by all men and women of letters as being unashamedly too patronizing. Recall also that America's Sara Palin and Rush Limbaugh's REDISTRIBUTION theory criticism of Obama-nomics, reared its head in the Chatham House Buhari's line:- "two economies in one country, a sorry tale of two nations: one economy for "a few who have so much in their tiny island of prosperity; and the other economy for the many who have so little in their vast ocean of misery." 

Icheoku says let the truth be told, not in the life of Muhammadu Buhari, could he have analytically fathomed out any of the lines that went into the address he gave at Chatham House; especially not of course from his first school leaving certificate partially developed brain. Icheoku will bet on this life that Muhammadu Buhari possibly did not even see or review, talkless of adding any value-content to the speech, before giving lip to same as packaged. The speech is simply too much for his level of educational attainment and exposure to imagine or thinker out. Put in another way, it was President Barack Obama's campaign speeches that were rephrased specifically and repackaged for Muhammadu Buhari to read and which he read at Chatham House. An institute which now stands accused of complicity in the fraud that is a Muhammadu Buhari seeking to rule Nigeria again; for allowing this aberration to take place in their institute despite the fact that Muhammadu Buhari was not originally scheduled for the day's event but was smuggled in and yet accommodated by them. 

It is however somewhat gratifying to note Muhammadu Buhari admitting to the truth that "the ruling Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) is facing its stiffest opposition so far from our (their) party the All Progressives Congress (APC)." Icheoku admits that this is not debatable; but adds that a mere "stiffest opposition" by the APC does not mean the APC has already won or are going to win or are most likely to win the election. Regrettably though, Muhammadu Buhari failed to give credit or admit to or even acknowledge the fact that it is President Goodluck Jonathan's magnanimity, adherence to the rule of law as well as his unflinching believe in freedom and democracy for the Nigerian people, that made such "stiffest opposition" growth possible. Icheoku says the opposition thrived because someone allowed it and that someone is President Jonathan; who unlike Muhammadu Buhari that uprooted the tree of democracy in Nigeria, tendered and nurtured it to bearing so many fruits including the fruit of a "stiffest opposition." Muhammadu Buhari and other Nigerians watched how the former government of Olusegun Obasanjo used his jackboot do or die approach to trample every oppositions in the land and stifled and nearly extirpated their growth and development completely. So Muhammadu Buhari would have at least commended President Jonathan for enabling this environment, where oppositions now thrive in Nigeria, to the extent of becoming "stiffest" at the risk of even the president's own party hold unto power being threatened? 

Continuing his prepared speech, Muhammadu Buhari read "The government has also failed in any effort towards a multi-dimensional response to this problem (Boko Haram) leading to a situation in which we have now become dependent on our neighbours to come to our rescue. Icheoku says what a bare-faced lie spoken by a man clinging to candor and fortitude as his air in this election; because for several times did the government of President Jonathan explore negotiations including offer of general amnesty to members of Boko Haram but was snubbed. The president also once set an all Islamic panel to reach out and negotiate with the Boko Haram but was equally ignored. Even when the same Boko Haram nominated Muhammadu Buhari to lead their negotiating team with the federal government,  towards resolving the conflict, Muhammadu Buhari turned it down. May be because he did not want the crisis resolved but rather preferred to use it as a campaign tool, which he is hilariously using now. 

Icheoku says any man who loves his country would have since done anything and everything required of him to help end the insurgency,  including accepting to negotiate an end to it when Boko Haram opened that window by nominating him as their point man. But Muhammadu Buhari does not love his country and dying country men and women that much and so rejected the nomination to mediate the crisis. Icheoku adds too that there is nothing wrong with neighbors helping out a neighbor in distress, especially when such neighbors might eventually be similarly impacted by the same problem if unchecked, being in close proximity to the locus in situ as they share borders with the Boko Haram afflicted areas of  Nigeria. Even the United States of America, which the APC often uses as a reference paradigm, never goes to any war without first seeking and obtaining their "coalition of the willing." So Icheoku asks Muhammadu Buhari to explain to the world what is wrong with Nigeria doing the same? Why must Nigeria's own  "coalition of the willing" now become a problem and unacceptable to Muhammadu Buhari? 

Still speaking, Muhammadu Buhari said, "On the economy, the fall in prices of oil has brought our economic and social stress into full relief (distress). After the rebasing exercise in April 2014, Nigeria overtook South Africa as Africa’s largest economy. Our GDP is now valued at $510 billion and our economy rated 26th in the world. Also on the bright side, inflation has been kept at single digit for a while and our economy has grown at an average of 7% for about a decade." Icheoku says this is the same man who was once in denial and who had previously lambasted the same government for having achieved nothing on the economic front? Good enough there is now another version of the same Muhammadu Buhari, now acknowledging the progress of the last few years, admitted most reluctantly. But hey, why fight the truth when it is there, glaringly starring everyone, including Muhammadu Buhari, on the face. Except that as a naysayer, it is not surprising to hear him continue to deny that there is a shinning orb called sun over the skies of Nigeria's economy. 

Surprisingly no sooner did Muhammadu Buhari make this admission than he somersaulted yet again. In his marked flip-flopping mannerism, he immediately alleged that the recorded economic growth were mere mirage?  Icheoku asks those who authored Muhammadu Buhari's speech of Chatham House to please tell Nigerians which part of his previously admitted facts are now mere "paper growth?" Is it that the Nigerian economy has not overtaken South Africa's economy as now the biggest economy in Africa? Is it that the Nigerian GDP has not grown this past few years of President Jonathan administration and is now valued at  over $510 billion US? Is it that there is no fall in global oil prices? Is it that Nigeria's economy is not rated the 26th in the world? Is it that inflation was not under control or that the economy has not grown at an average of 7% during the presidency of President Goodluck Jonathan? What is it David Axelrod's American speech writers of Chatham speech that you guys couldn't reconcile in this strange mixed messages? 

Anyway, it is for Muhammadu Buhari and his APC gallivanting marabouts and their foreign consultants/handlers to try and figure out what version of their story they want the world and Nigerians to believe as truth. But their attempt to pull a wool over the eyes of Nigerians, with their staged act at London's Chatham House of deceit and lies, will not and did not fly with Nigerians. In their mad rush to score cheap publicity and make a non existent political statement, they told a truth and then retold the same in the negative. Like American John Kerry once said on flip-flopping, 'I voted for it before I changed my mind and then voted against it?' So in over-adopting America, Muhammadu Buhari's packagers first acknowledged Nigeria's economic growth before they changed their mind and dismissed it as none existent mirage?   Icheoku is overtly optimistic that their attempt to pull a wool over the eyes of voting Nigerian public will not and did not succeed. They forgot that Nigerians have since shined their eyes and now see 'korokoro'; and would not be bullshitted into voting for a bloody, merciless, despot who showed Nigerians pepper. Like an American saying, there is no need putting perfume on a pig or needlessly white washing a sepulcher. Icheoku asserts that Muhammadu Buhari is inherently political damaged and damaged beyond resurrection. But if only his American packaging agents would wake up soon enough to realize that mere propaganda is not the same as the reality on the Nigerian grounds. 

Lastly, Icheoku says it does not matter whether Muhammadu Buhari belatedly accepted responsibility for "whatever happened under my (his) watch"; is now "running for President to lead Nigeria to prosperity and not adversity"; "cannot change the past but can change the present and the future", is a former military despot who is now allegedly a born-again 'converted democrat' and whether or not he "is ready to operate under democratic norms and is "subjecting himself to the rigors of democratic elections for the fourth time"; it is not going to affect his fortunes and credibility before the Nigerian people. The Nigerian people were so damaged in the past by this very Muhammadu Buhari and have not brought themselves to forgiving him yet, primarily because he is too condescending and have not even asked for their forgiveness. Icheoku says it also does not make any difference if as a dreamer, Muhammadu Buhari is dreaming about "making Nigeria great because the work is not yet done or because he still believes that change is possible." Icheoku strongly believes that Muhammadu Buhari's seeming mea culpa is not genuine nor real; and were he to  still be in uniform, Nigerians would have since woken up to another martial music over their radios and televisions with the usual refrain:- "I, General Muhammadu Buhari of the Nigeria Armed Forces, hereby overthrow your elected government abracadabra jargon." 

Icheoku maintains that even vegetables dream and therefore would not begrudge Muhammadu Buhari of his dreamy utopia to rule Nigeria again. But Icheoku is emphatic that his very advanced old age precludes any 'capacity and mental stability' he could have otherwise have had to 'work for a Nigeria that will be respected again in the comity of nations and that all Nigerians will be proud of." Except that no one told Muhammadu Buhari that Nigeria is not respected internationally nor are Nigerians not proud of their country. Overall, the stunt at Chatham House failed as no one bought into it nor invested more in the prospect of a washed-up dictator from a sordid Nigeria's past, that is best forgotten because it was simply too hellish a nightmare to be wished for again or long for a re-live, ever reemerging as a leader of Nigeria. So unlike America's Bill Clinton, there is no come-back kid in a 72 year old great grandfather Nigerian for Nigeria; so ON MARCH 28, do the needful Nigerians, VOTE GEJ.