TIGER WOODS, SIMPLY DUMB AND STUPID?

Eldrick Tont 'Tiger' Woods does not deserve any sympathy or understanding in his present predicament, since he foolishly thought he could get away with what Bill Clinton couldn't? He thought he could succeed where Bill Clinton failed? He thought he had this special magic wand called 'a billion-dollar estate' which Bill Clinton never had and hence is invincible and cannot be nailed down? FALSE! FALSE! FALSE!

Icheoku says, for thinking that he is smarter than Bill Clinton and that he can tee himself out of a messy situation where Bill Clinton got stuck in, makes Tiger Woods the dumb, dumber and dumbest person of the year 2009. Possibly the best adviser he should seek out now, as a matter of utmost immediacy, is Bill Clinton, the master philanderer in chief! Let TW ask Bill for his wise counsel on how best to navigate his way out of the present quagmire he is trapped in. Monicagate was huge but Bill still survived it; and such invaluable experience could readily come very handy now and be brought to bear on the unfolding Tigergate scandal! Philanderer TW made a fatal mistake when he tried to throw a curve-ball to the world by not initially coming out straight and square, to explain his 'faked' accident? Now his guilty-behavior has attracted so much attention that every prying eyes in the world are fixated on him, tyring to hear what other lie he will tell in addition to the one already told; since one lie usually begets another lie? So Tiger, Icheoku asks you to confirm whether you were beaten up by a furious woman, who felt betrayed by your lust for other skirts and could not control herself? Is your Elin a wild feline?

Icheoku says, any man, post-Monicagate, who still thinks that he could stonewall his philandering escapades out of the investigative and inquisitive press, just has another thing coming. Simply put, such a buffoon could easily qualify as the village idiot of the century. So the next time Tiger Wood, please just be a man, timely own up and apologise; or better still, blame it on the devil and shed a crocodile tear. You can also damn the whole world by bravely freeing yourself from the shackles of a bitter, sad marriage; so that you can become free to once again roam and romp all you want, without being answerable to anyone!

We have looked through so many of your pictures and reached one conclusion:- you do not look happy in your marriage and the earlier you call it quit the better and the healthier; - enough of the facade and putting up of appearances just for the show and heck of it. Forget about the possible halving of your billions, just come out unscathed and you can always make some more greenbacks; after-all you were not born with any. It is an established fact that most people who cheat on their spouse are lonely and alone in their marriage, they are not happy and always fall easy prey to the sympathetic ear and understanding of someone somewhere who they wish they had or would rather have. They internally wish they are not trapped in the unhappy marriage of convenience they are in, which they might as well not have and hence start acting out by cheating on the annoying spouse. So enough of dying in silence, GET A DIVORCE TIGER and free your soul to make way for a real soul-mate!

If the beauty-queen, model, nanny, airhead tigress of a 'wife' could inflict this much damage to a man for whom image is everything, keeping him imprisoned in his mansion for over a week now and without the faintest care or regards; Icheoku admonishes that Tiger Woods needs to find himself a real wife! Maybe if Tiger had married his real wife, his soul-mate, may be she would have been more circumspect with his double-dipping and may have spared him the trauma of today's inquisition? Maybe an Asian girl would have seen or heard such way of men from her mother concerning her father; or a black lady would have held him in such high esteem, adoring and worshipping him to think of letting everything go out of the window in a fit of jealousy. But no, Tiger Woods also suffers from the same 'black-athletes syndrome' which in their warped mind, could only be cured with the company of a dashing, blonde, blue-eyed bimbo of a mistress or wife or hooker?

Regrettably some of these women are not there for the love of the man but for the goldmine which these men represent; and sure they know how to mine it to the fullest? Imagine Tiger paying Elin several millions of dollars just to stay and act married to him? What an arrant nonsense; an insult to the institution of matrimony! Pay to play wife, Elin, by necessary implication of her monetary extortion, has now turned into a glorified prostitute whose 'love and affection' is for sale commanding a hefty price-tag! Tiger Woods might as well have gone to Amsterdam's famous red-light district and score himself a cheaper 'wife?' Which true wife would choose to shake-down her husband in this manner and in his greatest hour of need for her affection and understanding; but instead and knowing that she has him by the balls, she decided to milk him dry? These blondes simply see these black athletes as the rainbow that leads to the pot of gold; and being the gold-diggers and mercenaries they are, they see them as black niggers with loads of disposable cash-money for the grab; and hence their jump on their gravy wagon, spending however freely and frivolously as their heart may desire. For them, a nigger is a nigger and always will remain a nigger; and it does not matter how deep the nigger's pocket is; as not all the gold in Fort Knox is capable of diluting their perception or washing same away.

What would the elder Woods have done were he alive today? Icheoku never knew TW is this superficial, that he could marry an ordinary nanny just for her looks? What happens when she gets old and her body wrinkles up or some nasty-looking vericose veins envelopes her body; the blonde hair turns grey; the blue eyes black or those boobs becomes saggy? Why didn't TW marry a PhD or a medical doctor or a lawyer, or such other professional that have something of real value to protect; instead of this bimbo-nanny whose only attribute is that she is smoking hot? TW should know that there is a huge difference between a marriageable wife material and a play-girl bunny! At least Hillary Clinton did not attempt to kill Bill over Monica Lewinsky, so why would this violent bitch use golf club to bludgeon Tiger just because he strayed off his leach? Icheoku wonders why TW did not press charges or was it solely to protect his trophy-wife and an image which he eventually hurt? Why didn't the arriving policemen force their way into the house on suspicion of something wrong and take a cursory look? Anyway, let Tiger open up and detail for the world what transpired that Friday early morning. But every close observer of the Woods knows that TW is not happy in his marriage but fails to figure out his reticence; and why he choose to die in silence, pretending a marriage which for most past no longer exists or exists only in his imagination!

Now he is damaged and may be permanently so; depending on how Elin Nordegren Woods decides to further shake him down on account of his so called transgression. Tiger Woods may for all intent and purpose never recover fully from this incident if at all. He looks fragile, sort of a girlie-man and with his so-dear-to-his-heart image now soiled, the question he is probably pondering now, might be, what else to live for? Could Tiger Woods be headed down the same road of infamy once travelled by OJ Simpson? OJ, the other blond-loving black athlete, who was finally rail-roaded into a 9 year prison term just for 'stealing his property' , an euphemism for messing with the wrong race? Our fear for the most part, is that it is going to be a down-ward spiral from now henceforth; at least he will no longer remain the epitome of a wholesome perfect gentleman, which he had somewhat 'faked' all these years. But will Tiger ever recover from this scandal? Only in the bowel of time lies the answer.

Icheoku is not the best believer in inter-racial marriages; and like the New Orleans Louisiana Justice of Peace, would rather each race stay to itself and never be unequally yoked in marriage across racial lines and divisions. But does TW really belong to any race; after-all he has somewhat denounced being black when he called himself 'CABLINASIAN', which he explained to mean a potpourri of Asia, Dutch, native America and some sprinkling of blackness? Any man who is not proud of his color or race is not worthy of being fought for in defense of by that race; so Tiger should be left to dig himself out of the cesspool he is neck-deep in all by himself. There are certain peculiarities of a culture which no pretenses of love, no matter how long practiced, can imbibe in a person who is not a product therefrom? Also certain cultures tolerates certain things more than the other and reacts differently to certain shocking developments, which makes Icheoku think that the outcome may have been different were it another race?

There is no love between these folks as each traded something for what they want from each other:- Tiger wants a smoking-hot trophy-wife with blond hair and blue eyes; while Elin found a pot of gold in the richest athlete the world has ever known so she settled the nigger question, albeit publicly? May be an Asian woman would have better understood that a man's cheating does not necessarily warrant beating him down so much with a golf club, until he lost his mind and dashed out for survival with no shoes on his feet; and was so confused that he crashed into a huge tree, before which was a fire-hydrant. What if Tiger Woods had not survived the crash, after-all he forgot to buckle up and the sustained damage on the SUV was not little by any calculation? Look at the damage on his SUV and the size of the tree he crashed into; all because he had a liaison with another woman which turned his incensed wife into a murderous maniacal bitch angling for his blood? Is there no longer any difference between love and sex?

A real woman would have consulted her mother to devise the best plan of action against a cheating husband and allowed him to enjoy his 2.30am dead-in-the-night sleep, instead of forcing him to run for his dear life in his bed-clothes and bare feet; only to be stopped by a huge tree! Even a black-woman or Chinese woman or Latina or an Arab woman would have reminisced over a similar story of how her daddy was a rolling stone and decided to give Tiger a break? Or may be, taken it out on the home-breaker herself instead of the husband and behind the husband's back? We are not by any means whatsoever, condoning any philandering by any married man or woman; just get out of the kitchen if it gets too hot and regain your freedom. But at the same token, we condemn pursuing a man outside his bed at that hour of the night, with a golf club just because he did what comes naturally with so many men - expressing their polygamous masochism. Icheoku reiterates that neither Tiger's action nor Eli's reaction is acceptable or condonable.

Be that as it may and surprisingly, Tiger tried in vain to hush the matter, but after foolishly leaving his voice on a woman's voicemail; fully aware of how some human semen left on a blue-dress nearly cost a sitting president his office? He also left about 300 text messages and emails; and you wonder how dumb such a married famous and rich man would have carelessly and recklessly given some woman the rope with which to hang him? But who knows what else Tiger is hiding by not coming out to face down the world as he does golfing opponents; according to sources, his face is so badly bruised that he is ashamed to be seen with several lacerations and bruises, including a swollen lip?

But can this Tiger be caged by this scandal? Icheoku does not think so and would ordinarily not have anything to say about a consensual sex between two adults, but for his trying to be sly about it initially. He now said he is ashamed of what he did, but he should have thought about that before sneaking into those compromising positions with other kiss-n-tell women. Once again it shows that riches is not happiness and that the rich also cry. However, this will be our last commentary on this matter and as we said before, during the 'I did not have sex with that woman' episode, the forgiveness or madness regarding any infidelity lies with the victimized spouse and no one else! So, Icheoku says, Tiger and Eli Nordegren Woods, this is your cross alone to bear; but what a recurring character flaw of many men of substance and Tiger is not of straw!

Tiger Wood's words of contrition should have been privately made to Elin Nordegren Woods, who deserves it but not the world including Icheoku.com! According to him, "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone. I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology". Icheoku says, as shamefully as it is, it is always the same lines for all philandering men of America, who cannot firmly keep their pants on their waists.

Whether it is Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel or other faceless women that are spreading their crotch for the crouching Tiger, who cares; except your name is Eli Nordegren! So every person should just back off and let the Woods decide how they want to proceed thenceforth. But with all these men cheating on their wives, Icheoku says, may be it is about time there is a revenge of the ladies? John Edwards, Mark Stanford, Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, Jude Law, Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod), Michael Jordan, Elliot Spietzer, Gary Condit, Jim McGreevy, Josh Duhamel, Senator Backus, Russel Crowe, David Letterman, John Ensign and the list goes on and on of married men who fell from grace because of the forbidden fruit? Lastly, unlike OJ Simpson who faced down his nagging wife, and even 'killed' her in the process; Tiger Woods turned tail, cowering, begging for mercy, begging forgiveness and for his life, bribing and cajoling, and even fleeing from his enraged wife, who came after him, charging as hard, with a killer golf club? A Tiger and a Tigress in a cruel love-battle, may be? Icheoku concludes, just another tragic case of a blonde, trophy-wife loving black-athlete, a sidekick of a husband with some disposable stash; and who have some complex of an Uncle Tom! SHAME! SHAME! SHAMEFUL INDEED!