FIFA World Cup RUSSIA 2018: LETS KICK SOCCER.

ICHEOKU says may the best side win, provided they give the world of football and soccer fans the artistry and dexterity for which the round leather object is known. Good enough the three world's most famous players, Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar are all participating in the game with their countries squad respectively. Germany is there too; so a World Cup with Brazil, Germany, Argentina and of course Ronaldo's led Portugal as well as Spain will surely produce something to wow. ICHEOKU looks forward to being mesmerized by pure football and soccer wizardly throughout the duration of the game from June 14th to July 15th, 2018. Viva the organizer, International Football Federation Associations and Viva the host country, Russia.


DEEP STATE IS REAL.


Lisa Page: “Trump is not ever going to become president, right? Right?!”


Peter Strzok: “No. No he’s not. We’ll stop it.”


ICHEOKU says if this is not corruption of the worst type, what else so qualifies? So sad the length these guys went to truncate the will of the American people; yet they will turn around and accuse other countries of corruption and you wonder is it only when money exchanges hands that there is corruption. Pitifully SAD.

A DEAL DONE GOOD: TRUMP-KIM SUMMIT.

THE GREAT SINGAPORE SUMMIT.: GAME ON.

ICHEOKU says both leaders have arrived and ready to deal, May God help them reason through their differences towards achieving peace in the Korean peninsula, freed of all nuclear weapons.



GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS SWEEPS CAVALIERS: WINS NBA 2018.

ICHEOKU says they ran over King Lebron James led Cleveland Cavaliers like a road kill, to clinch the National Basketball Association's Championship Finals 2018, the third within just four years and back to back from last year, 2015, 2017 and 2018. ICHEOKU says it was a stellar performance in Cleveland as the boys of Oakland told the King and his boys to just hush, as they are the rightful heir to the trophy and they earned the bragging right to it. What a sweep it was, one of the first ever in NBA Finals. ICHEOKU says congratulations to the Dub Nation and to MVP back to back, KD, Kevin Durant, 2017 and 2019. It was a season and you guys did not disappoint. Salute.


IMMIGRANTS GO HOME - ITALIAN PM

ICHEOKU says newly sworn in Italian Prime Minister Matteo Salvini has told immigrants in Italy to pack up their bags and return to where they came from. According to him, Italy is for Italian people and the only way to be loved by your people is to do what they like and want.

ICHEOKU says what a tough time which awaits those immigrants, especially those who have already been through so much, trekking through the Sahara desert and sailing in dinghies across the treacherous Mediterranean Sea; oily to now be told to prepare to return from whatever it they were escaping from or thought they had escaped from. It is a real definition of double wahallah for dead body. Too bad. SAD.


A LETTER FROM NORTH KOREA: DELIVERED.

A LETTER FROM NORTH KOREA: DELIVERED.

ICHEOKU says hopefully the world will soon see result from the increased flurry of activities between Washington DC and Pyongyang.

MEMORIAL DAY 2018

ICHEOKU says thank you for your sacrifice American war dead. We honor your sacrifice. Happy Memorial Day America!

IT IS REAL MADRID: WINS FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW.

ICHEOKU says congratulations to the Zidane boys from Madrid and their coach Zinedine Zadine, a wonderful and tasteful soccer tactician. Kudos to the boys from Catalan for a game plan perfectly, well executed. Bale’s goals were terrific, especially the bicycle kick goal; admitted his second goal from such a great distance was equally stellar. Overall, a beautiful soccer artistry was displayed and the better side won and convincingly too.


THE JUNE 12 MEET IS BACK ON TRACK

THE JUNE 12TH MEET IS BACK ON TRACK
ICHEOKU says following a second meeting between the two Korean leaders, wherein the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has committed to a complete denuclearization of the peninsula and his desire to meet with President Trump, it seems that the canceled meeting with President Donald John Trump in Singapore on June 12th, 2018, is once again alive and well . Salute

KIM JONG UN: BE WARNED!


"You talk about your nuclear capabilities but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used." - President Donald John Trump.


MEGHAN UPGRADES HER STATUS: NOW A ROYALTY.

ICHEOKU says congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Princess Meghan. All the best.


OBSTRUCTION 101: THE VERDICT.

“The only obstruction President Trump committed was in obstructing Queen Crooked Hillary Clinton from the White House.” - Jesse Watters, Watters World.


TRUMP MEETS KIM: MOTHER OF ALL SUMMITS HOLDS.


"The highly anticipated meeting between Kim Jong Un and myself will take place in Singapore on June 12th. We will both try to make it a very special moment for World Peace!" - President Donald John Trump.


ICHEOKU says with those words President Donald John Trump cements the upcoming face to face meeting with North Korea's leader Kim Jung Un and it is in Singapore on June 12th, 2018. ICHEOKU wishes both men a fruitful deliberations which as President Donald John Trump said, will be geared towards fostering world peace. God speed fellas.


AMERICA WELCOMES BACK HER CITIZENS.

ICHEOKU says thanks to President Donald John Trump's deft diplomatic policy, being executed by Secretary of State Pompeo, three former hostages of the North Korean dictatorships were released and have now arrived back to America. ICHEOKU says welcome back home fellas. What a diplomatic coup the president and his team pulled off. Nice.


92 YEAR OLD WINS ELECTION: HURRAY!

ICHEOKU says at 92 years old former Malaysia Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad has won his come back bid election and will be the next Malaysian Prime Minister after previously serving his country for 22 years. ICHEOKU says that now makes him the oldest serving head of government anywhere in the world, ever. ICHEOKU wishes him well and wonders what message the Malaysian people sent with the election and what will happen to the country when mortality eventually sets in. At 92 years, the seat of government in Kuala Lumpur must have a standby air ambulance on a 24 hour alert. Congratulations Mahathir.


PRESIDENT TRUMP: THE PROMISE KEEPER

“The United States no longer makes empty threats. When I make promises, I keep them.” - President Donald John Trump.

ICHEOKU says exactly why he is now fondly nicknamed the Promise Keeper and he keeps his promises, one promise at a time.

NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL IS UNACCEPTABLE.

America will not be held hostage to nuclear blackmail. We will not allow American cities to be threatened with destruction. And we will not allow a regime that chants “Death to America” to gain access to the most deadly weapons on Earth." - President Donald John Trump.


New York ATTORNEY GENERAL RESIGNS

ICHEOKU says he was leading the anti Trump attack dogs in New York State and now he has been taken down by the Me-Too felines. New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, a Democrat, was forced to resign his office today, after four women came forward to accuse him of sexually molesting them, harassing them and even roughing them up during non consensual sexual encounters. He claimed that he loves kinky and rough sex and that everything he did with those women were consensual. ICHEOKU says our Lord Jesus Christ was indeed right that he who lives in a glass house should not throw stones. But the New York hypocrite failed to first remove the log in his eyes before pointing his little finger at the spec in PDJT’s eye. "Ochu nwa okuko nwe ada." The harder they come, the harder they fall as every weapon fashioned against the God anointed peoples President Donald John Trump are bound to fall and Eric Schneiderman just found out. Adios.


AG JEFF SESSIONS: WHAT DO THEY HAVE ON HIM?

ICHEOKU says what does the Deep State have on AG Jeff Sessions that has purchased his quiet and inaction over the excesses of the Russian Collusion witch hunt? Something definitely does not look right and apparently seems awry that the Attorney General appears so constricted to do anything to bring the never ending "investigation" to a conclusion. How much longer will the American people wait to have the matter concluded and what will it take. As a member of Team MAGA, from the basket of deplorables, who defended him when the president was threatening to fire him, ICHEOKU is not particularly satisfied with the "playing it safe" attitude which Jeff has adopted thus far and urge him to find any possible way to make the investigators finish their job immediately and without any further delay.


TONY ELUMELU: LETS MAKE HIM PRESIDENT.

ICHEOKU says he has all it takes to turn Nigeria around and Make Nigeria Great Again. He is highly cerebral; he is well traveled and is highly exposed internationally; he is a doer with a can-do spirit and attitude which translates to impossible is nothing as it does not exists in his dictionary; he is fully accomplished person who turned around the nearly moribund behemoth UBA and created thousands of jobs both in Nigeria and overseas; and above all, he is youthful and has age on his side and you ask yourself, what else is anyone looking for in a leader for Nigeria that is on bended knees and begging for leadership other than a man with his proven record. If he can do this in the private sector, he can also mission accomplish such in the public sector and resuscitate a Nigeria that is in distress. CHEOKU is emphatic that Tony Elumelu is a highly qualified, fit and proper person to lead Nigeria out of its present woods of near comatose and under performing achievements. Lets go to work Nigerians and make his candidature both viable and achievable. We can do this fellas; so lets urge Tony to run, run Tony run and together lets Make Nigeria Great Again. If Trump can do it, so can Tony.


DJ AVICII SLASHED HIS WRISTS AND NECK.

DJ AVICII SLASHED HIS WRISTS AND NECK

ICHEOKU says another cry for help that went unanswered and the world is left without one of its foremost disc jockeys. DJ Avicii sliced his wrists and neck with broken glass and bled to death. May his soul now rest.

THE PRINCE IS NAMED, HURRAY!

CHEOKU says Kensington Palace has announced the name of their new addition, the third child and second son born to Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton. His name is Louis Arthur Charles and will be known and addressed as His Royal Highness Prince Louis of Cambridge. ICHEOKU says congratulations Louis.

SAY NO TO GROUP THINK: YOU ARE NOT A HERD.

SAY NO TO GROUP THINK: YOU ARE NOT A HERD !
ICHEOKU says free thinking is part of the individuality in all of us; so protect your freedom of thought, say no to the leftist attempt to shame you into falling in line. ICHEOKU says is a fiercely independent thinker and not afraid to go it alone. Thanks Kanye!

KANYE WEST WALKS AWAY FROM GROUP THINK.

KANYE WEST STRIKES OUT FROM GROUP THINK PACK MENTALITY.


"Obama was in office for eight years and nothing in Chicago changed." - Kanye West.


ICHEOKU says completely agrees that the Kenyan did nothing for black people; not only those in Chicago, but also those in motherland Africa, those in West Indies/Caribbean and those in America. His presidency might as well have not happened as folks did not in anyway feel his impact. So, Yeezy was right, former President Barack Hussein Obama was not black folks friendly and he did not do a thing to change things for folks.


THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY HAS A NEW ADDITION.

THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY HAS A NEW ADDITION

ICHEOKU says another bundle of joy has been added to the British Royal Family, as Prince William and Duchess Kate welcomed their third child, a son. ICHEOKU says congratulations fellas.


BARBARA BUSH SAYS HER GOODBYE: ADIEU

BARBARA BUSH SAYS HER GOODBYE: ADIEU
ICHEOKU says she was a mother to every American; a matron indeed. Adieu silver haired lady, rest in peace. So long.

SYRIA WARNED TO DESIST OR BE BOMBED AGAIN.

"If the Syria regime uses this poisonous gas again on its people, it will be bombed again. The United States of America is locked and loaded. When our president draws a redline, our president enforces the redline." - Nikki Haley, United States of America Ambassador to the United Nations.


VLADIMIR PUTIN: WHENEVER HE IS READY!

VLADIMIR PUTIN: WHENEVER HE IS READY!

ICHEOKU says Russia's Vladimir Putin has one good opportunity to finally move back into the comity of civilized nations and stop his despotic mentality which always sees him flocking amidst his fellow dictators. But if he choses to remain in the cold and remain in Kremlin where he has been holed in since 1999, too bad. His too long stay in power is only damaging Russia but not helping it; and gradually turning Russia into a third world country where only one man dictates what goes on in the country. Putin, change your ways; let true democracy reign in Russia. Salute

JOHN BOLTON: THE NEW NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER.

JOHN BOLTON: THE NEW NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER.

ICHEOKU says you cannot get a more American American and he is a hardcore America First nationalist as they come. President Donald John Trump's pick to succeeded fired National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster is the real deal. He is a hard-nosed American First protagonist, who does not shy away from projecting America's power through strength and who is not afraid to have America go it alone if need be. ICHEOKU says hopefully the president has found the very person who will help him achieve and implement his policy objectives in John Bolton. But as far as MAGA and AF agendas are concerned, Ambassador John Bolton is one heck of a good pick and a right fit for the job. He will help President Donald John Trump with doing his job for the American people. ICHEOKU says congratulations to the Mustachioed One. Let the governance of MAGA now really begin.


A FACEBOOK CENSORED WORLD: LIMITING FREE SPEECH

A FACEBOOK CENSORED WORLD: LIMITING FREE SPEECH

ICHEOKU says they pretend to be guardians of free speech but wants to tele-guide other peoples thinking by limiting what they can freely say; especially if you are a conservative and holds opinions which are favorable of President Donald John Trump and critical of Queen Crooked Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately, they will not succeed but can only force people to opt out of the live wasting exercise of gluing one's eyeballs to the platform. An exercise which does not add anything of value to users, nor pays them anything for helping them bring more eyeballs to the portal. Instead of being grateful that people are helping them bilk advertisers of billions of dollars with their riveted eyeballs, they now want to micromanage everyone's thought as if they are doing one a favor by letting them waste their time using Facebook. ICHEOKU says will not be cowered nor intimidated; they can block ICHEOKU all the heck they want but ICHEOKU will not bow to Facebook's attempt to control ICHEOKU's thoughts and would rather permanently part ways with the Mark Zuckerberg globalist weapon of mass control than kowtow to a group thinking. To hell with this attempt to exact undue control and turn everyone into a herd mind.


THE RUSSIAN COLLUSION: DEALT A FATAL BLOW.


"There is no allegation in this indictment that any American was a knowing participant in this illegal activity. There is also no allegation in the indictment that the charged conduct altered the outcome of the 2016 election." - Rod Rosenstein, Deputy Attorney General of the United States of America.

ICHEOKU says this determination, for every intent and purpose, now lays to rest the "Collusion with the Russians" hogwash; as nobody can be guilty of an offense which requires awareness to ground when he or she is not aware of it. Collusion is a conspiracy and requires a proactive participation coupled with a guilty knowledge to bring about the purpose of the conspiracy. Therefore, when will the Special Counsel address the nation and tell Americans that there is no there, there, in the Russian Collusion investigation and save America further bleeding both in resources, time and unity. Enough of the sore loser antics of the Democratic Party which does not know how to take a loss and learn to work to fix what went wrong, instead of continuously pointing a finger at a mirage that is the Russian Collusion, in its bid to find something to blame for its ineptitude that led to the epochal loss of November 8th, 2016.

FBI MEMO SCANDAL: OBAMA WAS IN THE LOOP


"POTUS WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING WE ARE DOING." - Lisa Page to boyfriend Peter Strzok, two FBI officials.


ICHEOKU says the POTUS then was President Barack Hussein Obama, who had previously denied and lied to the American people that he does not dabble into any FBI's investigative matter. Really?


AMERICA IS HERE TO STAY - PDJT

AMERICA IS HERE TO STAY - PDJT

"Americans fill the world with art and music. They push the bounds of science and discovery. And they forever remind us of what we should never ever forget: The people dreamed this country. The people built this country. And it's the people who are making America great again. As long as we are proud of who we are, and what we are fighting for, there is nothing we cannot achieve. As long as we have confidence in our values, faith in our citizens, and trust in our God, we will not fail. Our families will thrive. Our people will prosper. And our Nation will forever be safe and strong and proud and mighty and free." - President Donald John Trump.


IT IS ONE YEAR TODAY, HURRAY!

IT IS ONE YEAR TODAY, HURRAY!
ICHEOKU says congratulations to President Donald John Trump for successfully steering America's ship of States for a full year. What the naysayers said will not happen is a reality which they are finding extremely difficult to live with. But their preferences notwithstanding, Make America Great Again is on course and nobody will torpedo it. Once again, congratulations to the leader of Team MAGA on the anniversary of his being sworn in as the 45th POTUS.

ICHEOKU'S MAN OF THE YEAR 2017: PRESIDENT DONALD JOHN TRUMP

ICHEOKU says following an examination of so many nominated individuals, we have determined that this year 2017's man of the year is President Donald John Trump, the 45th President of the United States of America. He came into office shooting on both hips and as the year draws to an end, his both guns are still firing and smoking. For standing up to the world and starring down American detractors and being the cheerleader and champion in chief of America, the leader of Team Make America Great Again has earned ICHEOKU's man of the year award 2017. Congratulations to President Donald John Trump.

JERUSALEM IS ISRAEL'S ETERNAL CAPITAL - PDJT

JERUSALEM IS ISRAEL'S ETERNAL CAPITAL - PDJT
ICHEOKU says a wisdom of Solomon come to judgment; it is about time the child is given to the rightful mother. Salute to the courage of President Donald John Trump.

AMERICA STRONG!

"Together with our allies, America's warriors are prepared to defend our nation using the full range of our unmatched capabilities. No one — no dictator, no regime and no nation — should underestimate, ever, American resolve."


RUSSIAN COLLUSION: EVIDENCE FOUND!

RUSSIAN COLLUSION: EVIDENCE EMERGES!

ICHEOKU says Queen Crooked Hillary Clinton was caught pants down colluding with the Russians and she has been trying so hard to pull the wool over the eyes of American people over whodunnit. What a lying, contriving, manipulative woman she is, who lies so easily that you wonder whether truth actually exists in her lexicon. Pitiful.

RUSSIAN DOSSIER: PAID FOR BY HILLARY CLINTON

RUSSIAN DOSSIER: PAID FOR BY CLINTON

ICHEOKU says finally the circle is about being completed and American people and the world at large will come to know who in fact did the collusion. Queen Crooked Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Congress paid Fusion GPS to produce the fake Russian dossier which former CIA chief James Clapper said was the basis for the Trump investigation. Yet, the investigation is still ongoing, despite the now established fact that the basis of it was a manufactured phony. But hey, we shall see.


ICHEOKU says still wondering WHAT HAPPENED and the reason 33,000 emails were deleted and bleach washed? Hopefully American people will soon confirm their suspicion that those shouting themselves hoax with Russian Collusion might indeed be the ones who actually colluded with the Russians. So much for the Russian Reset button. Queen Crooked Hillary Clinton, simply too crooked.


GLAD TO BE CARRIED TO FULL TERM.

GRATEFUL TO BE CARRIED FULL TERM

ICHEOKU says another lucky one that survived the abortionist's pincers from the over 360,000 unlucky ones that get flushed out each year. May God help us all have a better resolution about unwanted pregnancies.


JUST SAY NO TO KNEELING: IT IS UN-AMERICAN.

JUST SAY NO TO KNEELING: IT IS UN-AMERICAN.
ICHEOKU says from being disrespectful to the flag to being unappreciative of the services of the military to overall being anti America; NFL players must learn to check their political activism outside the stadiums. They must not kneel on our dime. ICHEOKU supports the president 1000% on this and hereby calls on every player to respect the sensibilities of the many differently opined fans who paid to watch a game and not to be made mad by their personal political agenda.

IPOB: NOT A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION - USA


“The United States Government is strongly committed to Nigeria’s unity. Important political and economic issues affecting the Nigerian people, such as the allocation of resources, are worthwhile topics for respectful debate in a democracy. Within the context of unity, we encourage all Nigerians to support a de-escalation of tensions and peaceful resolution of grievances. The Indigenous People of Biafra is not a terrorist organization under US law.” - Russell Brooks, United States of America.

HILLARY CLINTON LOST THE ELECTION - CHARLES SCHUMER

HILLARY CLINTON LOST THE ELECTION - CHARLES SCHUMER

"When you lose to somebody who has a 40 percent popularity, you don’t blame other things — Comey, Russia — you blame yourself. So what did we do wrong? People didn’t know what we stood for, just that we were against Trump. And still believe that." - Senator Charles Schumer, Senior Senator from the State of New York and Democratic Minority Leader in the Senate. ICHEOKU says the statement spoke volume and it spoke for itself. Finally it seems the Democrats have finally turned the corner and are now ready to face up to their abysmal performance in the last presidential election by acknowledging that the American people indeed choose Trump over their Hillary Clinton. Thankfully, they will also now rest their "Russians Did It" cockamamie and find a message they can present to the people and for the good of the country.. Time to move the process forward is now as American people did not buy into the crap of a Russian collusion which they tried unsuccessfully to sell to them.

North Korea PUT ON NOTICE

NORTH KOREA  PUT ON NOTICE: DON'T PUSH ME.
"North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. As I said, they will be met with the fire and fury and, frankly, power." - President Donald John Trump. ICHEOKU says the Michelin Tire midget at Pyongyang is definitely courting trouble and messing with the wrong man. He probably thinks Barack Obama the redline president is still in office; but unbeknownst to him there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Donald John Trump and he does not mess around. Hopefully China can rein in the little man before he commits mass suicide with his North Korean people.

NORTH KOREA: TOTAL ANNIHILATION NOW ON THE TABLE.

NORTH KOREA: TOTAL ANNIHILATION NOW ON THE TABLE.

ICHEOKU says once again the diminutive midget of Pyongyang has been advised to heed the resolution of the United Nations firm stand against his continuing provocations; and that the total wiping out of his North Korea is now an option should he force the hands of the United States of American military. In a statement by the Defense Secretary Jim Maddog Mattis over its latest nuclear test, the secretary said “Our commitment among the allies are ironclad. Any threat to the United States or its territories, including Guam, or our allies will be met with a massive military response, a response both effective and overwhelming. We are not looking to the total annihilation of a country, namely North Korea, but as I said, we have many options to do so.” ICHEOKU says does not really know the joker that guy has, but whatever it is will likely very soon be forced out. The world including ICHEOKU is waiting and watching.

BIAFRA EXIT FROM NIGERIA: A CALL TO DUTY

BIAFRA EXIT FROM NIGERIA: A CALL TO DUTY
ICHEOKU says the time has come and the time is now for the Indigenous Peoples of Biafra to be allowed to choose their self governance and exit from Nigeria going forward.. A referendum on the future of Biafra is a legitimate demand of the people and it is their right to so do. The people of the Nation of Biafra want to go their own way because of the hostilities from other member nations of Nigeria. Let the United Nations order a referendum and let the people decide their own Biafraexit.

PDJT ISSUES A VERDICT ON ISLAMIST TERRORISTS


"There can be no coexistence with this violence. There can be no tolerating it, no accepting it, no excusing it, and no ignoring it. Every time a terrorist murders an innocent person and falsely invokes the name of God, it should be an insult to every person of faith. Terrorists do not worship God; they worship death. If we do not act against this organized terror, then we know what will happen and what will be the end result. Terrorism's devastation of life will continue to spread, peaceful societies will become engulfed by violence, and the futures of many generations will be sadly squandered. If we do not stand in uniform condemnation of this killing, then not only will we be judged by our people, not only will we be judged by history, but we will be judged by God." - President Donald John Trump.


BBOB: BRING BACK OUR BIAFRA

ICHEOKU says it is worth fighting for, self determination and it is not a crime for a people to aspire for self governance. Indigenous Peoples of Biafra are marching forward and hopefully they will soon get to the promised land. Viva Biafra.
#BringBackOurBiafra.





"When two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that feeds their fury. Though little fire grows great with little wind, yet extreme gusts do blow out fire." - William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew


WHAT REALLY MATTERS IN LIFE - STEVE JOBS

“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me. God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth. Memories precipitated by love is the only true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on. The most expensive bed in the world is the sick bed. You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear sickness for you. Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – Life. Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat yourself well. Cherish others.” - SJ

EVIL CANNOT BE TRULY DESTROYED.

"The threat of evil is ever present. We can contain it as long as we stay vigilant, but it can never truly be destroyed. - Lorraine Warren (Annabelle, the movie)


ONLY THE POOR WISH THEY HAD STUFF?

“I’m not that interested in material things. As long as I find a good bed that I can sleep in, that’s enough.” - Nicolas Berggruem, the homeless billionaire.

Monday, December 7, 2015

YOUR MARRIAGE, WORK IT TO MAKE IT WORK.

Icheoku says ever wondered why it seems that your friend's or neighbor's marriage is working seamlessly so well as opposed to yours? Ever wondered what makes a marriage work or which makes one seemingly work better than the other? It is the derivatives and expectations of marriage that make all the difference; and that which anyone desiring to step into or who is already in it, but wants to improve the odds, should always make his or her check list. 

So running a mental checklist, a spouse can easily determine if he or she is lucky in love already or needs to reboot or even needs a do over and start all over again with a fresh spouse, depending on the enormity of the marital virus afflicting the marriage. Icheoku reiterates that marriage should not be a life prison sentence inside the pit of hell. But unfortunately many spouses end up so sentenced, simply because their marital foundation was faulty; founded on deceit, superfluousness and other ancillary reasons which are in diametrical opposite to core lasting values which drives and should drive every successful union. So once the set objective or purpose is achieved, like getting that ring or securing a right to a treasure trove, they no longer see the need or anything therein to live or work for in order to make the marriage work.

Icheoku says a successful marriage is one where both parties see themselves as complimenting each other rather than competing with one another. Where each party sees the  other as a vital component part of a whole him or her; without whom he or she is incomplete. But definitely not one where each sees the other just as a disposable appendage, selectively wanted as occasion may dictate. Both parties must see each other as somewhat fulfilling them and not just a mere source of pain or inconvenience that should be tolerated. Both parties must sincerely appreciate each other's attribute and contributions to the union; but not just treat them as second rate spouse, who ordinarily, they would not have married but for prevailing circumstances. 

Therefore it is imperative that parties to a marriage abide by the code of conduct that makes marriage work and work well. Icheoku calls it the "TRC" of marriage - trust, respect and communication. Also imbibe the culture of replacement of "me, I and mine" with "we, us and ours"; and where possible, maintain and operate a joint bank account with the woman running it. Encourage things that bond you people and de-emphasis things that separates you like mine and yours. Above all, make sure you find out why you want to get married and to that particular person too. Lastly, tier up the three Cs of marriage - companionship, children and comfort and weigh how each matters to you in priority and then hedge your bet accordingly.

Trust comes with understanding someone, which vanishes doubts, leading to confidence building. Instead of personalizing things, bottling things up and keeping secrets, just try to share everything about you to your spouse. Liberalizing your union often helps in developing full acceptance of each other. Take the fear of your spouse out of the relationship and see yourself truly free to live thief you always wanted with nothing else to discover. Icheoku knows of this girl who shared her experience of being raped in a fraternity party to her spouse to be only to discover that it was the same man she had wedded that raped her. 

According to the story, the guy felt so guilty afterwards that he worked tirelessly to win the girls hand in marriage to atone for his sin of drunkenness. One other girl confessed to her would be husband that she has had several abortions to which the spouse responded not to worry, I have made so many girls commit abortions too. So why hide your past when it might be one uplifting disclosure with nothing more bottled inside of you to bother about. The rule of the thumb is that any man or woman who loves you will not stop loving you simply because of some youthful indiscretion in your past. Most reasonable people will rather focus on the future than than dwell on the past when they were not in the picture. Just learn to be an open book and all the kinks will work themselves out, towards ensuring an enduring relationship.

Respect - As a cardinal rule, the Golden Rule 'do unto others as you would done unto you', still works magic with every relationship including marriage. Do not dish out to your spouse what you will not take, period. Before you do anything to or against your spouse, ask yourself if it is done to you, will you take and accept it? If spouses respect each other, they will not do behind each other what they would not do in front of each other. Therefore, no respectful spouse for example ever cheats on a spouse, as such depravity is the lowest of the low points in any marital relationships. It also says a lot about the complete disregard of that victim-spouse by the cheating spouse and no reason or excuse will justify such betrayal. To many strong self-assured personalities, such indiscretion always sings the requiem of such union, as there is nothing there to treasure any more, except if filthiness is anyone's high. 

Communication - Regrettably not many married couples find the time to have one on one or even interesting subject matters to talk about.  As a result, boredom creeps in and there is nothing to keep their marriage fun and exciting. This is an aberration because if you do not trust your spouse enough to make him or her your confidant and best friend, who else? If there is something bothering a spouse or there are some concerns and he or she cannot freely divulge them to the other spouse, what kind of a relationship is that anyway? Even the law recognizes the supreme nature of this relationship that it classed spousal and marital communications as a protected privilege under the law of evidential disclosure. If there is anybody to tell your worst secrets, including crimes you committed in your past, your spouse is that person as he or she cannot use it against you. 

Communication solves many marital problems and it helps to easily and permanently check sources of fear and irritation; except of course where one of the spouse is done and wants out. When you have issues to work out in any relationship, communication is the key. The reason why many marriages fail is because couples choose to ignore one another or refuse to talk things over or rather wave aside or gloss over their spouses' complaints, issues and concerns. Tone-deafness to spouses' concerns and complaints is one sure bet of alienating a spouse and eventually your marriage altogether. So learn to share your soul's burdens and delights with your better half and even if he or she ridicules you, persist until he or she learns to be reasonable. As always, it is also important to know that it is only a fine thin line that separates silliness, stubbornness and stupidity; and a wise spouse will always know when to halt and make rapprochement. 

The magic three letters "I am sorry" also provides some booster tonic to marriages; so know when to back-down, apologize and make over. No spouse likes being the permanent underdog in a relationship so learn how to periodically pick up the sock. Like the dog said, "if I fall for you and you fall for me, that's playing; but if it is me falling all the time, then it is fight and I have to fight back." Saying sorry or apologizing for something never diminishes anyone, rather it shows that stooping down for a dwarf did not make that one any less taller. It is magnanimous; it is being bigger and larger than life, to humble oneself to apologize for a mistake or complaint in the interest of peace, regardless. 

Icheoku says if only marital vows mean anything to spouses making them or who made them; and they actually indeed became one with the tying of the knot, it should not matter who owns what or who does what or who brings what to the union? But unfortunately, like with every ceremony, once the vows are exchanged, many spouses withdraw to their default positions and dig into their respective ownerships interests, hence begins the war of the worlds of marriage. Such oddities set in including "I did this, you have to do that." "I own this, that belongs to you". This is mine and not yours," etc. If only we could learn to continue doing all those things which come naturally to us and which we were used to doing before the union and let guilty conscience move the other party to render help. That will be one sure way too of working it to make it work.

Then be seized of what is important to you in the marriage in their order of hierarchy. Is it comfort, children or companionship? These are self explanatory as comfort suggests things money can buy; children are seeds of the womb or by adoption or foster; and companionship connotes having a friendship with your spouse. Many people are married to strangers and are very lonely in their marriages. Icheoku is not saying to dispense of any of the other   indicators of a good marriage, but that you should place them in a scale of preference for you. Few are lucky to ever get three of them present in their marriage; but while you can manage without two of them, one of them, companionship, is totally indispensable in any good marriage. 

Many people often prioritize their children, but this is where they get it all wrong because those children were not there at the inception and will likely not be there at the conclusion of the marriage. They are mere visitors to the union and would someday move out and move on with their own lives. Before their arrival, you had the companionship of each other and long after they move away, you will or ought to maintain the same companionship of each other. This is the reason to find a good companion while taking a spouse. Therefore, your ever faithful spouse must not and should never be relegated to the background or be displaced in your heart by those strangers, no matter what. The children should be accommodated but never allowed to displace a spouse. In short there is no marriage or there should be no marriage devoid of good companionship, period.

No party to a marriage is exclusively ever entitled to anything as of right and to the detriment of the other party. Both are co-equals who should continually strive to work the marriage in order to make it work for them. They should continue pleasing each other without ceasing. Marriage is a what is good for the goose being also good for the gander situation. A give and take situation, so only give what you will like to receive in return and if you cannot take it, please don't dish it out to the other party. Like the bible tells us, a husband should look after his wife as a treasure from heaven; and a wife should please and appreciate her husband mightily in order for them to live happily ever after. The principle of contract of "nemo dat non quod habet" do somehow also apply to marital relationship. No party to a marriage can give happiness to the other party, if that party does not have happiness or is not happy himself or herself. In the same vein, no one party to a marriage can give a loving attention and affection to the other if he or she is not similarly so loved in reciprocity. 

Finally always bear in mind what Redeemer's Overseer Enoch Adeboye, in his "Mathematics of Marriage" sermon, once said, "Above all, each spouse must have a reasonable expectation of the other spouse because none of them is an angel nor a super-human and are limited as to what they can do." Now you know, so ask yourself have you done all that is possible within your ability to make your marriage work? Are there things you could have done or done better to improve the odds? Finally ask yourself if you still want to sustain the marriage or is it mentally over for you? Are there the "but-for" things that are holding you down in the marriage, without which you would have long since been gone? Can you go with them or can you afford to dump them or juggle them along with your departure? Depending on your answer, then decide whether to work it or abandon it; but always remember that only the living enjoys anything including a happy marriage. You have only one opportunity at life and life is to be lived, so live it. 

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