
Monday, February 22, 2010
ACTING PRESIDENT GOODLUCK AND HIS YANKEE VISITORS?

Friday, February 19, 2010
NIGER MILITARY CALLS JONATHAN'S BLUFF, TOPPLES GOVERNMENT!



Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ACTING PRESIDENT JONATHAN GOODLUCK'S LIFE, IN DANGER?

Now some sad stories out of Abuja has it that some evil men are hatching their evil-plot to get him out of their way? But by the special grace of the living God whom many of us serve, and who, before Jonathan was even born, knew that he is going to one day become the Acting President of Nigeria, will not let evil triumph and these evil men can never succeed or have their way. Icheoku affirms that it shall not be well with these evil plotters.
We want to believe that this story has no merit whatsoever, but we must be watchful and vigilant since all smokes usually have associated fire somewhere. According to sources, one of the conspirators was caught on tape threatening that 'they will deal with the acting president' for daring to step in their way and stop them from massively looting Nigeria through unscrupulous allocation of oil wells. In an alleged intercepted/surreptitiously recorded statement, the voice at the other end and a co-conspirator was heard saying, "We have to deal with him; we have to kill him"? Icheoku says, and these people are plotting against the head of state and acting president of Nigeria? What an utter madness; this allegation is so very grave indeed that the government need to immediately tell Nigerians what they have so far uncovered; in addition to a full disclosure of the identities of the conspirators, especially the man who owns the voice on the record? This full disclosure will help Nigerians see and know those people that do not mean well for the country. Let us pray that it is not also a set-up to get rid of some people, clear them out of the way and let the new party begin; without fear of any insider and possible a Yar'Adua's spy taking notes for onward transmission to Turai in Jeddah? Also let us hope it is just a cruel joke, otherwise; assuming it were it to succeed, it will be the quickest way to yield the core of Nigeria resulting in the final, total and complete disintegration of the country known as Nigeria! But the good Lord will not let these few disgruntled individuals have their way, as Nigeria marches on to provide the necessary leadership the West African sub-region yearns for and in their own democratic environment where things are settled politically. Icheoku condemns this plot as evil, devious and capable of causing great mischief throughout the land; destroying whatever is left of the last fabrics of mother Nigeria; hence every person of every persuasion who still desires one strong Nigeria should put his/her hands on deck to help Jonathan succeed. Let Nigerians not allow this distraction take more of the present regime's time in office so that Acting President Jonathan Goodluck can concentrate on his job, which needs a lot of catching up to do. Nigerians should pray that these anti-Nigeria conspirators who want to do harm to the acting president are quickly identified, rounded up and finished off. What they allegedly did is treason and commands the death penalty; so Jonathan, bare your fangs and bring these people in for immediate justice. Please do not be intimidated by these cowardly threats and just carry on governing. Also remember that now is the time to reconstitute your cabinet for new fresh ideas to come in and in order to disrupt these conspirators and deny them both access and reach. Your constituency in Bayelsa State supports you! Niger Delta supports you! South-South supports you! Southern Nigeria supports you as well as the Nigeria state. So, an attack on Jonathan is an attack on all Nigerians, who their National Assembly voted to authorise Jonathan's new acting capacity. Such a northern Nigerian-perfected subversion of governance will not be tolerated ever again in Nigeria; and this sitting acting president might be the tinder of the mother of all fires which will finally consume Nigeria should the unexpected happen! ENOUGH of this pretence by the north that they have the 'exclusive right to ferment violence,' because they don't and they should be mindful that their veins also contain blood. The north must realise that this is 2010 and that things have since dramatically changed; the days of fear of them and intimidation caused by them is since over. It is a new day in Nigeria as a Ph.D, humble, God-fearing Christian is in the saddle of Nigeria's leadership. Let us pray that Jonathan Goodluck succeeds!
KEVIN SMITH, SOUTHWEST AIRLINES MADE THE RIGHT CALL!
Icheoku is at a loss on the recent umbrage against South West Airlines because it enforced an existing airline policy on obese passengers, by throwing fat-head Kevin Smith off its plane? Or is KS not nearly morbidly obese? It is a standard policy, so it goes against the grain for anyone to say because Kevin is a Hollywood face, the existing policy should not have applied to him; and there lies the crux or rather fork on the road of this argument. In America everyone is equal or at least supposed to be equal, the reason we are a nation of laws and not 'henchmen' or special people; so what is wrong in removing a Micheline tire-man, who could not fit inside a single seat of an airplane, from the airplane? Since when has the name Kevin Smith become synonymous with immunity? Here is a young man who is just 39 years old, stands 5ft 8ins tall and weighs probably 350 pounds; and who once complained bitterly about his ballooning weight, so it is not as if he is not aware of his excessive body luggage? This Kevin Smith also once admitted in 2008 of 'breaking a toilet seat' which could not sustain his massive weight for the short period it takes to do some nature-call; and who also once wrote concerning himself, "Fuck, I wish I was still that thin. I’ve porked the fuck out, man. I’m really, really fat right now."
Icheoku asks, if as all the evidence points to, Kevin Smith is aware of the excessive meat he had packed and is still packing on, and that most airplanes and in this case South West airlines, have a standing policy on obese people, why did he expect to be treated differently? Did he expect the airline to pretend that because he is a recognisable Hollywood fellow, he is no longer fat enough for the policy to apply to him? If anyone ever comes out of this drama looking bad, it should be Kevin Smith for demanding a different application of a standing rule as it affects him, simply because he is a film-director/actor? If he feels so special, why was he not flying in a private jet; and if he does not have one yet or cannot afford one, why did he not settle for first class; and if South West does not offer first class seats, what was he doing flying on South West in the first place? The last time Icheoku checked, several planes out of northern California to Los Angeles area operates first class cabin including Virgin America, United Airlines etc? Is he rather so cheap to fly coach on South West and expect to be treated as a special Kevin Smith, the Hollywood film director/actor? Such will be ridiculous and laughable and he should be ashamed of himself for throwing up all the dust that 'if you look like me, South West airline will not allow you to fly with them' sentimental tweet!
What Kevin Smith really needs is the phone number of the NBC television reality show, the 'Biggest Loser' that he may enter their booth camp towards off-loading all the excess fat he is carrying, towards a healthy size for a man under 6ft tall? Should the 'Biggest Loser' not accept you, hire a private personal trainer and let him transform you into a sizable man - it is healthy, handsome, smart and sexy; and being a fat-head slobby walrus is so yesterday! Also, you can help yourself by quitting junk fast foods; it is given that most obese people are guilty of unhealthy diet indulgence? One problem militating against Americans is the idea of "political correctness" in everything we do and in every word we utter, where peoples' sensibilities cannot be 'offended' and the good old school hard-knock truth are sacrificed on the alter of maintaining the "touchy-feelly", everybody fell good atmosphere, symptomatic of our present day society. Why should it be difficult to tell Kevin Smith to his face that he is fat? A thing which he probably have been telling himself but lacking the will power to get off his arse and do something about it. Icheoku asks Kevin, do you like what you see standing in front of the mirror while starring at yourself or have you removed all the mirrors in your bathrooms? The issue here is not even purchasing two tickets, since that will be one person denied that flight because a fatso is flying on two seats? The issue raised in this brickbat is for Kevin Smith to do something about his weight, lose some weight or better still, go buy a private jet to fly himself around and avoid the inconvenience of flying coach with people starring him and wondering what a fat pig he is? What about the health hazards of being so obese from heart problems to diabetes etc and he is just only 39 years old? Like Kevin Smith rightly asked in his twitter, "I know I'm fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?" Icheoku answers, yes, you betcha ya the captain was damn justified in enforcing an existing policy on flying gluttons, since elephants do not even fly, whether or not on two seats? Yes, you broke an implied regulation not to be excessively over-weight and your size is a safety risk since you might fall asleep and roll over on a fellow passenger? These are possibilities and anything and everything is possible. Even the oxygen your massive body will require will excessively depreciate those available for the rest of the passengers and crew? Talk about your rapid laborious breathing and obstruction of the view of a back-seat passenger? What if there is an emergency requiring fast exit from the plane and your fat-arse is on the way inhibiting prompt exit - such will endanger fellow passengers who are behind you from leaving the plane speedily and safely? These are possibilities and everything is possible? Did you think about such hazards, Kevin? Just in case you are living a lie and in denial of your obesity Kevin, Icheoku affirms that you are not only "way fat" but also already there and since a very long time ago! Your saying that you are 'not there yet' is delusional and a false consolation; the earlier you wake up from this slumber party of yours and face the reality starring you on the face, the better for you.
Icheoku asks, if as all the evidence points to, Kevin Smith is aware of the excessive meat he had packed and is still packing on, and that most airplanes and in this case South West airlines, have a standing policy on obese people, why did he expect to be treated differently? Did he expect the airline to pretend that because he is a recognisable Hollywood fellow, he is no longer fat enough for the policy to apply to him? If anyone ever comes out of this drama looking bad, it should be Kevin Smith for demanding a different application of a standing rule as it affects him, simply because he is a film-director/actor? If he feels so special, why was he not flying in a private jet; and if he does not have one yet or cannot afford one, why did he not settle for first class; and if South West does not offer first class seats, what was he doing flying on South West in the first place? The last time Icheoku checked, several planes out of northern California to Los Angeles area operates first class cabin including Virgin America, United Airlines etc? Is he rather so cheap to fly coach on South West and expect to be treated as a special Kevin Smith, the Hollywood film director/actor? Such will be ridiculous and laughable and he should be ashamed of himself for throwing up all the dust that 'if you look like me, South West airline will not allow you to fly with them' sentimental tweet!
What Kevin Smith really needs is the phone number of the NBC television reality show, the 'Biggest Loser' that he may enter their booth camp towards off-loading all the excess fat he is carrying, towards a healthy size for a man under 6ft tall? Should the 'Biggest Loser' not accept you, hire a private personal trainer and let him transform you into a sizable man - it is healthy, handsome, smart and sexy; and being a fat-head slobby walrus is so yesterday! Also, you can help yourself by quitting junk fast foods; it is given that most obese people are guilty of unhealthy diet indulgence? One problem militating against Americans is the idea of "political correctness" in everything we do and in every word we utter, where peoples' sensibilities cannot be 'offended' and the good old school hard-knock truth are sacrificed on the alter of maintaining the "touchy-feelly", everybody fell good atmosphere, symptomatic of our present day society. Why should it be difficult to tell Kevin Smith to his face that he is fat? A thing which he probably have been telling himself but lacking the will power to get off his arse and do something about it. Icheoku asks Kevin, do you like what you see standing in front of the mirror while starring at yourself or have you removed all the mirrors in your bathrooms? The issue here is not even purchasing two tickets, since that will be one person denied that flight because a fatso is flying on two seats? The issue raised in this brickbat is for Kevin Smith to do something about his weight, lose some weight or better still, go buy a private jet to fly himself around and avoid the inconvenience of flying coach with people starring him and wondering what a fat pig he is? What about the health hazards of being so obese from heart problems to diabetes etc and he is just only 39 years old? Like Kevin Smith rightly asked in his twitter, "I know I'm fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?" Icheoku answers, yes, you betcha ya the captain was damn justified in enforcing an existing policy on flying gluttons, since elephants do not even fly, whether or not on two seats? Yes, you broke an implied regulation not to be excessively over-weight and your size is a safety risk since you might fall asleep and roll over on a fellow passenger? These are possibilities and anything and everything is possible. Even the oxygen your massive body will require will excessively depreciate those available for the rest of the passengers and crew? Talk about your rapid laborious breathing and obstruction of the view of a back-seat passenger? What if there is an emergency requiring fast exit from the plane and your fat-arse is on the way inhibiting prompt exit - such will endanger fellow passengers who are behind you from leaving the plane speedily and safely? These are possibilities and everything is possible? Did you think about such hazards, Kevin? Just in case you are living a lie and in denial of your obesity Kevin, Icheoku affirms that you are not only "way fat" but also already there and since a very long time ago! Your saying that you are 'not there yet' is delusional and a false consolation; the earlier you wake up from this slumber party of yours and face the reality starring you on the face, the better for you.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010
LADY GAGA, WHY SHE DID IT?

Lady Gaga, appeared at the last American Grammy Award 2010 dressed in an outfit with a bikini-like bottom that could almost pass for a thong? It showed her fully shaved vaginal parameters walls, and barely covering her labials; which led one commentator to 'eulogise' the striptease display as 'exhibiting her "beautiful vagina?'' In a piece titled 'Lady Gaga gender rumors debunked once and for all', posted on February 2, 2010 in the Huffington-Post, the author, glorifying Lady Gaga's bare-bottom nakedness wrote, "Just in case there was any residual doubt that Lady Gaga was harboring a penis under her glittery stage-wear, photos from her amazing Grammy performance indicate she's all female. Last summer at a concert in the UK, an upskirt snap of Gaga showed what looked like a tiny penis. Gaga was the subject of widespread hermaphrodite rumors and embraced as a post-gender icon before she defended her "beautiful vagina."
Icheoku asks what is so beautiful about Lady Gaga's vagina to warrant such flagrant indecent exposure of it before millions of world-wide viewers including children, who have been wondering and sometimes asking their mothers, where babies come from? What is so beautiful about a drab-looking piece of flesh except the imagination of driving into its hot volcano? What is so sightly about a slab looking female genitalia that any writer could find comfort in defending its crass exhibition by anyone, including Lady or rather Stripper Gaga? If not that vagina serve as a conduit to bring babies into this world, what else is so beautiful about the vagina especially this one under advisement? Icheoku says, vagina is beautiful so long as it is hidden and difficult to see and reach; without effort being made to reach and unravel it, there is no beauty in it. Simply put, it is the road traveled to reach the destination that commands the respect and admiration of vagina; but not when it is flagrantly thrust upon everyone's face, in at-your-face-like manner, as Lady Gaga just did? Such exhibitionism makes vagina cheap, nasty, ugly and uninviting; and Lady or Stripper Gaga should have known better and covered up a little bit more.
Why write this piece since I am not an anti-female sexuality chauvinistic pig or have anything against eroticism or its exhibition? I write because the feminists of America called blue murder when Adam Lambert simulated eroticism during his appearance in last year's America's Music Award; and the same group of people are now maintaining a certain disquieting silence and ironically, praising Lady Gaga's exhibitionism, as trail-blazing and a testament to the beauty of the vagina? Double standards? What an arrant nonsense by a sexist feminists dominated society, gradually trying so hard to emasculate all their male counterparts and put away their masculinity in testicles-lock boxes; with due respect to the owner of that phrase, Rush Limbaugh! Why should Icheoku mind, afterall Lady Gaga is an adult and can do with her body whatever she pleases? Yes, but not before a world-wide television audience with a lot of children watching? Moreso with the selectiveness of what is decent or not, depending on who don it or who was wearing what? If a black girl, wrong? If a male of whatever race, wrong? But for a white girl, there must be an explanation as she could be just showing off her "beautiful vagina" to debunk suspicion of being a travesty or hermaphrodite? Really? I don't get it, I won't get it, and I refuse to get it that it is ok to appear on a stage for a world-wide performance in "bikinis," which barely covered her vaginal lips? No, it is not alright, or proper or appropriate; Lady Gaga and her minders should have known better and acted otherwise, but instead they did not and surprisingly the media is carrying her waters that it is ok - the lady who can do no wrong was simply defending her "beautiful vagina?"

During our research for this article, we came upon a postulation that Lady Gaga came out partially naked on a world-wide stage just to prove that she has no phallus underneath; and that since it is being rumoured she is a man performing as a female, there was a need to publicly disprove that! Admitted that many people including this writer have wondered and theorised about the gender of the Madonna-on-steroids of this age; but that does not make it ok for such display as was put up with those offensive outfits. It is equally instructive that some people even likened her to the South Africa track-sensation, Caster Samanya and seriously questioned if Lady-G is a gender-fraud? We believe that such rumours got to her ear or that of her minders before they decided to put it away in a perpetual crypt; but how? She waited for the night of the Grammy's, when she knew that it will make much impact and off she went to the stage, clad in 'bikinis' like someone in a private beach in the Caribbean or Hawaii? I once watched her interview with Babara Walters wherein she admitted being a female who has sexual attraction for both sexes; ok, since being bisexual is somewhat being sexy and experimentation with matters of sex is not illegal. Lady Gaga could have in that interview gone a step further in clarifying her sexuality and quenching the rumoured hermaphrodite and/or dyke character; instead of the Grammy forum and in the manner she publicly "proved" it? The fact that her back-side looks too muscular and not very appetizing, sexually, did not deter her; but that may constitute some future discussion.
Our beef here is three-dimensional:- what she wore, the forum she wore it to and the lack of condemnation by the American public, particularly the media which saw nothing wrong in a Lady Gaga displaying her "beautiful vagina" and hard-knocks 'steroidal' arse in this vagrant manner?

Monday, February 15, 2010
ALEXANDER MCQUEEN, THE SUICIDE?

The preacher then pivoted to the death by suicide of the British world famous designer, Alexander McQueen. In introducing the subject of McQueen's death, the pastor said, "Last week a British designer committed suicide; he is the designer who designs for Lady Gaga!" If you want to have an idea of what Lady Gaga's outfits look like, right here under is what she wore to the last America's Grammy Award 2010 - N U T S? Call it whatever you like, but this 'thong-flying' outfit definitely does not qualifier as an Icheoku's approved good creation; hence, whosoever idea it is, is equally N U T S !
The congregation erupted in a somewhat sympathetic approval cum disapproval applause for both the loss, the manner of the death and the Lady Gaga's outlandish fashion sense. It was then that we decided to do this commentary on Alexander McQueen's death by suicide, since as a matter of policy we do not usually glorify such crazies who chicken out from the challenges of this world by taking their own life. Admitted we have no opinion on people wanting to end their life of misery, provided of course they do not forcibly take others along with them, through a mass-murder or suicide bombing? If you must jump and wants to jump off, hey jump; but please just leave the guy next door who still have reason to live, alone! Now who is Alexander McQueen that Icheoku or the Reverend Father should bother making him a subject of discussion for a commentary or a homily? For a little snippet and the most direct insight into this designer from out of space, when a design is very unusual, that is Alexander McQueen's signature creation staring you on the face! When a fashionista is so strangely dressed that she looks like a masquerade or some alien from Mars, it is Alexander McQueen's fashion sense being displayed? Alexander McQueen by definition is a 40 year old multi-millionaire British fashion designer, who became so despondent and distraught on the loss of his dearly beloved mother that he killed himself to be with her? A coward of the country who could not deal with the reality of death, including that of someone he dearly loved and cared for? This forces the question, are there other mental issues involved here to preclude a grown up 40 year old man from understanding that death is an inevitable conclusion to everything alive and living including his deceased mother?


His money was not enough to save him? His fame was not enough either? His power and influence was not enough too? His contacts in so many high places was also not enough? Availability of alcoholic beverages, models and superstars whom he cloth as well as various mind-numbing drugs were equally not enough either? None of these could keep him from going down the drain or sustain him through a massive depression which he could not come out of and which eventually made him take his own life? Many pundits blamed his suicide on a son's love for a dead mother, which the designer could not cope with the idea that death could spring a wedge between his mother and himself - the popular mama's boy? 

Icheoku is not buying it that love was all it took to cause this havoc, admitted that William Shakespeare sold us the tale of Romeo and Juliet; and asks that investigators probe further to see if there were other factors that accelerated this suicide? Was Alexander McQueen in an ending love affair which proved unbearable for him that he opted for the easier way out? Was Alexander McQueen a druggie who went on a binge and couldn't come out it that he died in his exhilarated euphoria? Was there some monetary issues involved here that would have taken his fashion empire down the toilet that he couldn't fathom the idea of losing this his alter-ego and sense of being, that he decided to just end it? What about a possible scandal of his life which is threatening to blow up or just any other thing else? But Icheoku finds it incredible that a 40 year old man, old enough to even be a grand-father, would just end his life simply because his old mother passed away, knowing that death is a natural thing that will come whenever it comes?

That a 40 year old man would so much love his mother to once reveal that his greatest fear was that she would die before him is not ordinary. It is such an aberration of a statement that one is forced to ask oneself if this guy's faculties were firing alright in all the cylinders? That he would even entertain the idea of preferring to predecease his aged mother, Joyce McQueen, is the smoking mirror here that all was not well with Alexander McQueen's cranial content? True to his words and intent, he took his own life barely a week after his mother died and one day shy of her funeral, and technically "predeceasing her"? What a tragic tale of a love for a mother gone over the board, which in Shakespearean era, would have provided William Shakespeare enough writing material for another tragic tale, this time of a son's love for a mother gone awry? Joyce McQueen is seen right hereunder seating with suicide son Alexander McQueen.

Sunday, February 14, 2010
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, ICHEOKUANS!

Friday, February 12, 2010
ACTING PRESIDENT GOODLUCK, SOUTH SOUTH MUST ALLOW HIM TO GOVERN!

Thursday, February 11, 2010
THIS IS CRAZY, AN EVIDENCE THAT SOME AMERICANS ARE REALLY NUTS?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010
ACTING PRESIDENT GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN OF NIGERIA, WELCOME!
A president is a president irrespective of the manner in which he came to office or the capacity in which he exercises the office? He remains a president whether acting, deputising or standing in for the real president who is currently unavailable and intubated in King Faisal hospital intensive care unit, in the Kingdom of Saud. Icheoku appreciates the fact that Acting President Jonathan Goodluck is pseudo, albeit only holding fort, since he was not elected or voted for as one. He will only hold the office in trust for and pending the arrival of the main custodian of the office, President Umaru Yar'Adua, and when he recovers fully enough to resume his office. Now that the politics of succession or who takes over the mantle of leadership in Nigeria following the long hospitalization of President Umaru Yar'Adua is seemingly finally over, President Jonathan Goodluck should start presiding over the affairs of Nigeria immediately since there is no more time to waste in their presidency which is nearly 3/4 over! First he must tweak the cabinet to re-position it to suit his idea of an effective governance machinery; fire some old hands that are inhibiting his government's program and hire some fresh ones to re-invigorate the team and effectively see through his government's agenda. Icheoku says, the first order of business is to fire Attorney General Micheal Kassie Aondonakaa for giving the government a wrong advise that 'President Umaru Yar'Adua can rule Nigeria from any where of his choosing in the world?' May be by remote control or the Internet, wrong; except that such 'misleading theory of governance' was coming from a notoriously very corrupt Attorney General of Nigeria, whose middle name would safely pass for a bribe-taker? Disposing Aondoakaa is the right to do and it will be popular among Nigerians who have been clamouring for his removal from office. Moreso the Chief Justice of Nigeria is also a Tiv man from Benue State and Nigeria cannot afford to have the two chief law officers of the country coming from just one tribe out of the over 250 tribes there is in Nigeria! It neither just nor fair to concentrate both offices within one tribal grouping; so Aondoakaa should go. Next to go or be redeployed is the Foreign Affairs Minister Ojo Maduekwe because he does not seem to have a real grasp of what is required of a person in his office. He seems to have a very old mindset about today's diplomacy and has never been an effective communicator of Nigeria's foreign policy directives? Nigeria needs someone that could at least force or drive a conversation about Nigeria and for this, Icheoku mentions Professor Dora Akunyili as a good fit for the position. In addition to her other admirable attributes, she is also very passionate about what she does and Nigeria requires a proactive 'nationalist' to project her image abroad and market Nigeria from mountain tops, as would a good commodity? That Ojo Maduekwe's office spent over $2 billion naira last year alone without any derivative beneficial returns for Nigeria leaves much to be desired of a Nigerian foreign affairs minister. Such profligacy is mind-bogling and he should get out of the foreign affairs ministry immediately, even only on account of this. Dora comes highly recommended because she is one of the few ministers who is so excitable about Nigeria that she took it upon herself to give Nigeria a better image by single-handedly trying to re-branding it? It is worth mentioning too that Dora Akunyili is the only one in Nigeria who seriously believes that Nigeria still have a chance to be better and great; and such a person will be a good saleswoman for Nigeria and hence has all the potentials to be a great foreign affairs minister for Nigeria. Alternatively, deploy her to the Power ministry or Petroleum Ministry to fix whatever is broken therein. As a challenge, if anyone including Acting President Jonathan Goodluck thinks that providing power to Nigeria is an impossible task, Icheoku asks, have you given Dora Akunyili the task? It is all about a can-do spirit and Nigeria will enjoy uninterrupted power supply forever! Further President Umaru Yar'Adua's man-Friday, Agricultural and water resources minister Sayaad Abba Ruma should be redeployed or fired immediately to safeguard Jonathan's presidency and/or lessen his power, influence and hold on the presidency. So also should Special adviser Tanimu Kurfi be asked to proceed on indefinite leave of absence pending his master's return back to office. However in going after these two men, Jonathan Goodluck should be mindful that the ailing president might not find it a comfortable decision and will see it as a kick in the gut and a foundational challenge to his position. The better suggestion is to keep them at bay while consolidating a power base to ensure smooth governance. Last but not the least is to try to reduce the influence of Kano people in the government by revisiting those appointments that were made only to their benefit, not taking into account that the north is not just north west or Kano and Katsina alone? Just re-distribute those appointments among the whole northern Nigeria to give every person a sense of participation and not concentrated in just Kastina/Kano axis? Finally, Nigeria cannot afford another 'Slow-man' President Jonathan, so Goodluck must start immediately to do his job as president. To refresh, the Nigeria National Assembly by resolution, and taking general notice of the widely available information that President Umaru Yar'Adua has now become indisposed, gave the all-clear for Vice President Goodluck Jonathan to fully assume the office of president, albeit in acting capacity. In an interview granted to BBC by the sickly President Umaru Yar'Auda on January 12, 2010; the president admitted that he is sick and hospitalised; and that he would return back to work when his doctors say so or give him a clear bill of health? It has now been 78 days since Nigeria waited for this clearance but nothing was coming from the said doctors; leading everyone across the polity to complain and agitate that the vice president should act for the ailing president pending his recovery. It was an all inclusive agitation which cut across Nigeria, from the ordinary Nigerians on the streets to the clergy, civil society, leaders of industries, opinion makers, politicians, trade unions etc. But Section 145 of the constitution requiring the president to intimate the senate on a transfer of power to the vice president held up everything since the president was too sick to write as required. It would appear that the president is in such a debilitated vegetative state to even lift a pen talk-less of being in the necessary right frame of mind to author a cohesive letter of absence? However he was not too sick to grant an interview to BBC, a decision which on hindsight he may be regretting today as it was based on that interview that the national assembly have now acted. In waiving the issue of notice as required by Section 145 of the constitution, the Senate President David Mark, said, the essence of the said section is to affix notice of the president's indisposition to the national assembly. Under the circumstances of inability to write as required, the Senate will adopt and so adopts the president's BBC interview as providing the necessary notice of his incapacity as required under the said Section 145. In the words of the Senate President, 'The BBC interview granted by the president is as good as the letter envisaged in the constitution"; therefore it shall be adopted as a tacit transmission of notice in satisfaction of Section 145 of the constitution that he is on medical vacation.' In the resolution making him acting president declared, "Goodluck Jonathan shall henceforth discharge the functions of the office of the President, Commander-in-Chief of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as Acting President. Jonathan would cease to discharge the functions of the office of the President when Yar’Adua “transmits to the President of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives in writing that he has returned from his medical vacation?” Icheoku asks, why not dispense entirely with the requirement of giving a notice in writing, and in its place institute a panel of three eminent persons to sit over such happenstance when a president becomes so incapacitated that he could no longer function as one. What if the president returns tomorrow in a life-support ambulatory service or is forcibly brought back by Turai and the Cabals just to frustrate Jonathan's acting capacity? What if the president being so brought back still cannot articulate his thoughts or is incapable of similarly writing or giving a notice as required? Anarchy or double presidency or co-presidency or what; that will descend upon the land? Icheoku would rather this writing requirement is completely done away with to provide for a situation where a president is too incapacitated to write or is held hostage by some interest groups which would not allow or prevent him from doing the right thing! Icheoku concurs with one observer that empowering President Jonathan Goodluck is a “triumph for the Constitution as well as a triumph for the rule of law. It equally shows that Nigeria has untapped capacity and potential to grow out of the petty smallness holding it down; and shall one day rise up to the occasion to start seriously its nation-building; provided all those tribalists, religious-zealots and sectionalists who milk the current north and south divide completely die off and exit the stage. Just like the MKO Abiola and Baba Gana Kingibe two Muslims ticket once attested to, as well as the current southern christain Jonathan succession of a northern muslim, Nigerians really do not care about what anyone worships or the section of the country that produced i'ts leader. All the average-Joe-Nigerian wants is the provision of basic infrastructure to enable him go about his daily business of providing for his family without molestation, in peace and in secured environment. Icheoku commends Senate President David Mark's statement that “The fact that we have resolved the logjam democratically is a measure of the depth that democracy has attained in our polity. This is not the time for winners and losers, but the time to remain united as a people because as a nation, our voyage is on the same tide and we cannot afford a drift.” However we beg to disagree that Nigeria's democracy has attained or will attain any meaningful depth, until elections begin to matter, cast-ballots counted at the polling centers; and real democracy enthroned starting with the PDP which needs to institute an internal democracy within its own political establishment. May be the recent Anambra State election which the PDP failed or were unable or refused to or did not hijack shows that something good is afoot in Nigeria's political clime; admitted the jury remains sequestrated until the almighty 2011 elections are decided. Icheoku agrees that this political solution of “doctrine of necessity,” should be given a chance in order to move Nigeria forward; as the alternative of an outright invocation of Section 143 impeachment clause will rather be too strong, unkind and unfeeling for a president who did not cause or bring sickness upon himself. Let Nigerians not stir the polity or unnecessarily stoke it any further since 2011 is already around the corner and new elections will usher in a fresh team to carry on, carrying on. As we have always maintained and now as being reinstated by some legal minds, "Jonathan does not require anybody's authorisation or a Senate resolution to act as President, he was duly elected alongside the ailing president as the vice president or president in the waiting and should immediately upon his indisposition step in as acting president". Yet it does not hurt for the Nigerian population as represented by the national assembly to add impetus to this by their resolution; so it is still a welcome idea. Icheoku agrees with Acting President Jonathan that there should be no more excuses for failures and adds, this zero-some tolerance for failure should not be exclusive the Nigerian police; but must transcend the entire gamut of government:- executive arm in its entirety, the legislature, the judiciary and the man on the street. Like the creed of MAMSER, if you are a tailor, tailor well; if you are a teacher, teach well, if you are a farmer, farm well; if you are a politician, politic well, if you are a governor, govern well and so on and so on. Also Icheoku agrees that the war against corruption should be prosecuted more firmly, more resolutely and more robustly. It needs reinvigorating and if it means breaking some bones to get the job done, so be it. To satisfactorily do this, Acting President Jonathan Goodluck should consider rehiring Nuhu Ribadu to continue with the good work he was doing before the corrupt powerful men of Nigeria swept him out of office and hounded him into exile. Let the free hand to be given to the anti-corruption agencies to prosecute the anti corruption war include allowing them to go after know corrupt Obasanjo's men as well as former governors James Onanefe Ibori and co. As of the many infrastructures mentioned, only two are most important to help jump start Nigeria's economy which is sputtering into comatose:- power and roads! Finally what is in a name one may ask, as a man named Goodluck Jonathan became a deputy governor, governor, vice president, acting president and God knows what next; all within what many will consider very short political pupilage/apprenticeship? But only fools question the gods or controvert their destiny! Congratulations Acting President Jonathan Goodluck and let the policy directive flow!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
A NEED FOR A SHADOW GOVERNMENT IN NIGERIA - an article by Chinedu Akuta.

This was an idea I recommended in my Christmas message to Nigerians. It simply means forming a government in waiting by the opposition parties. But in the Nigerian case, the shadow government should be formed by opposition parties and representatives from the following; Political Groups, Non Governmental Organization, Civil Groups, Community Groups, Faith Organizations (churches, mosques, etc), Retired Civil Servants, Opinion Leaders, Academic Staff Union of Universities, Labour Unions/Leaders, Students Union Leaders, Non Academic Staff Union of Universities, National Association of Academic Technologists, Nigerian Medical Association, Bankers, Nigerian Bar Association, Members of the Nigerian Press, Nigerian Union of Journalists, Cultural Groups and any other groups, corporate groups or individuals that might wish to join.
Shadow government/cabinet is in operation in the United Kingdom where opposition parties have shadow cabinet members in all the existing ministries, For example Secretary of Defense (Minister of Defense) by the ruling party (Labour Party) has a shadow Secretary of Defense by the opposition parties (Conservative Party, Liberal Democrats etc). The British opposition parties are alive and strong, they provide tough checks and balances on the ruling party (Labour Party).
There will be nothing wrong to domesticate this method (shadow government) and apply it to the presidential system of government that we are practicing in Nigeria . It can be our own home grown democratic system. I have heard past Nigerian leaders talk about home grown democracy. This can be one of it. However, political theories of previous centuries (presidential system, unitary system, federal system, feudal system, theocratic system etc) can be adjusted, amended or combined together to fit in the Nigeria of 21st century, so long as it enhances good governance.
The essence of shadow government in Nigeria is to create a formidable opposition to the government in power. Opposition parties/groups are an important part of every democracy. In nearby Ghana , the opposition party (National Democratic Congress of Ghana) won the ruling party. In both Zimbabwe and Kenya , power is being shared between the opposition parties and the ruling parties. During the Babangida and Abacha era, National Democratic Coalition (NADECO) formed a credible opposition to the military. They fought gallantly till the country was returned to civil rule. Presently our opposition parties/groups need a shadow government/cabinet structure hence my suggestion.
My other reason for recommending so many groups to join the shadow government is because, I agree totally with what former French President Charles de Gaulle said, “Politics is too serious a business to be left for politicians alone”. Shadow government will be able to critically examine every government policy and come up a better alternative for the Nigerian people. Where money is to be spent on projects, the shadow government should be able highlight how and who can do such projects better and at a lesser cost to the Nigerian tax payers. Shadow government will provide a training ground for future leaders. The benefits will be enormous to the Nigerian public.
My suggestion of a shadow system of government is such that, we will have shadow president, shadow vice president, shadow cabinet members, comprising of shadow minister of education, shadow minister of health, shadow external affairs minister, shadow minister of agriculture, shadow minister of finance etc. The same method (shadow government/cabinet) should be created or formed in 36 states of the federation and the 774 local government areas in Nigeria . In the case of states, there should be shadow governors, shadow deputy governors, shadow commissioners. Whereas, in the case of local government councils, there should be shadow supervisory councilors in all departments.
Since we have a bi-cameral legislature (The Senate and House of Representatives) at the federal level, it will be in order, to have one shadow senator from each senatorial zone and a shadow House of Representative member from each federal constituency of the federation. Same should apply to the states and local government areas.
Appointment or Selection Processes: Appointments or selection methods should be strictly by merit and through transparent processes. There will be no issue of putting round pegs in square holes, like what the past and present governments have been doing. I will suggest Option A4 system for selection process. I will also suggest that professional groups should be allocated to relevant shadow ministries, for example if medical personnel’s decides to join the shadow government, they should be assigned to the shadow ministry of health under a shadow minister of health.
Shadow government can commence now and terminate by May 2011 when the tenure of this present government will end. However there should be a transition plan for the shadow government that will start from May 2011. Politicians and people interested in this project can start working out the remaining modalities. Campaigning for different positions should also start. Nigerians in Diaspora can participate actively in the appointment, selection, and the shadow government itself. They can take part from wherever they might be. I will also use this medium to urge the various pro Nigerian groups in Diaspora to come together irrespective of their organizational differences. There are a lot they can achieve by coming together. Joining or co-starting a shadow government will be a good starting point.
The shadow government can start online or partially base online. President Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain relied heavily in online strategies during their campaign. During the last French presidential election, the two top contenders (Nicolas Sarkozy and Segolene Royal) generated the highest level of net activism. In Australia , their Prime Minister (Kevin Rudd) has continued to use online presence to keep electorates aware of his government’s activities.
Finally, I wish also to appeal to Nigerians to participate and join the fight against global warming. Turn off your electrical appliances/lights when not in use. Plant a tree or sponsor one to plant on your behalf. Government and companies should send less paper work and do more email, telephone, and sms. May God bless Nigeria . Chinedu Vincent Akuta is an activist and leader of “Support Option A4 Group” Leicester-UK.
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