SANUSI- LAMIDO SANUSI IS NEW EMIR OF KANO, DEAL WITH IT?

Icheoku says who the constituted authority in Kano decided to make the custodian of Kano emirate is entirely their prerogative and no Nigerian, especially non Kano indigene, should be seen to butt into a purely private affairs of Kano people. To this effect therefore, Icheoku congratulates the Kano people and their new emir Sanusi Lamido Sanusi on the seamless transition of authority just few days after the former emir passed on. The transition process was matured, it was expedient and it was well-oiled; and luckily too, unlike some parts of Nigeria where succession process takes an untoward toll on the people including sometimes protracted decades-long court battles, it took only FOUR men, within forty-eight hours, to midwife a new emir for Kano. The feat is highly commendable. Icheoku says it does not matter whether the Kingmakers were bought-over, bribed, cajoled or intimidated into signing off on an already anointed candidate, what is paramount here is that just within a few days after the demise of the previous emir (three days to be specific) a new emir emerged. The job of choosing a new emir was done, completed. 

icheoku says as to whether the emerged emir is the candidate of choice every Nigerian would have made or preferred, in view of his antecedents and history and record, the jury is still out; but Icheoku second-guesses probably not? Icheoku says this question and answer is actually mute because the emir of Kano is not answerable to the whole Nigeria and therefore it does not behove the entire country to elect or select him or in any other way have a say on who becomes the emir. The emir of Kano does not exercise authority all over Nigeria and therefore those Nigerians not within his jurisdictional area of influence or control should not bother about what does not concern them. Icheoku says if you are not his subject and amenable to his policies or laws, you should just butt out. So, Nigerians have nothing to fret about that in the process of selecting or choosing the new emir of Kano that Sanusi Lamido Sanusi emerged victorious. All Nigerians can do now that Kano people have made their choice, is to keep their eyes wide open to make sure that the new emir confines himself and authority within his domain ONLY and does not in any way overreach himself or overtly extend his authority, period. 

Icheoku says the choice of such controversial figure as the new emir of Kano, especially to succeed an emir who was mourned by all Nigerians as a de-tribalized, patriotic, welcoming and non-bigoted Nigerian father figure, is rather befuddling; except to say it may be in furtherance of an agenda only known to a select few? Icheoku says appointing as a new emir, a man fingered in the hacking to death of Gideon Akaluka for being seen with a torn page of the Koran must be keeping Igbos of Sabon Gari sleepless in Kano, oblivious of their fate under this not-so-loving-Igbos emir? Icheoku says appointing as a new emir, a man seen by many as an Islamic zealot must have startled so many Christians, who are rightly wondering now what is the new direction in the thirsty uneasy relationship between the two religions' adherents in Nigeria? icheoku says appointing a man so steeped in Sharia and Islamic doctrines, that he introduced Al-Baraka or Sharia compliant Islamic Banking during his tenure as Central Bank Governor, a position that is supposedly secular, must be sending shivers in the spines of non Muslims of Nigeria, who are at a loss on the next possible move on the chess board of this new emir? icheoku says appointing as the new emir of Kano, a man so enmeshed in his Islamic upbringing and beliefs that he comes to office as the then CBN governor, fully turbaned; and you wonder what becomes of all and every person visiting or living in Kano under his emir-ship and whether there would be an Islamic dress code introduced therein? 

That SLS has temper and has a diarrhea mouth is a fact and Icheoku wonders whether he will not in one of his temper tantrums, do or say something capable of throwing his domain or even the entire country into a burning furnace? Icheoku queries, does SLS has the temperament and discipline to be in charge of an emirate as big as the Kano emirate and how far would he go to reprimand those who had hurt or injured him on his way to the top? Query, does SLS has the capacity to be a father to all who call Kano home, without isolating them according to their religious beliefs and suspected loyalties? 

Icheoku has no authority over the appointment of the emir of Kano just like millions of other Nigerians who are neither the four kingmakers or the governor of Kano State, but proffers that the Kano emirate should have been spared of the controversies of a man still under investigation by the authorities and whose passport is still seized by the authorities and whose stewardship at the CBN is still under the microscope for profligacy and squandermania? But who is Icheoku to have an opinion in the manner and ways Kano State and its emirate work or to have a say in deciding who their next emir should be; but millions of Nigerians are watching to see if all the cases against the now emir are dropped, closed and his passport returned to him? If that happens, then the entire world would be amazed at how certain positions of authority in Nigeria provide a cannon fodder and immunity for suspected crimes, leading to the question, should the appointment has been made in the first place in view of his circumstance? 

This leads further to the question, did Team-Jonathan do all they could possibly have done to preempt the appointment or were they slapped in the face with it? Icheoku queries, were Baba Iyabo to still be in power, could a SLS not in his favored book, scaled through with the appointment? Icheoku asks, were Baba Iyabo to still be in power, would a disfavored Kano State governor been so blatant with choosing someone as asymmetrically opposed to the president to become the new emir of Kano? Some of these questions are not answerable at this time but suffice it to say the appointment of Sanusi Lamido Sanusi as emir of Kano, just within mere three days after his tenure as Central Bank Governor officially expired on June 2nd, despite his suspension and being placed under investigation, is a big SLAP on the presidency, who could not and was unable to influence the outcome.

But be that as it may, was SLS qualified for the new office? The answer is an emphatic YES, being a lineal member of the emir-producing family of Kano emirate and therefore well pedigreed. Sanusi Lamido Sanusi was the son of a former emir, who happened to be the senior brother of the now late emir, hence a nephew to the departed emir Ado Bayero.  It is also instructive that the now late emir succeeded SLS's father after he was deposed in 1963 for falling out with the then controlling authority in Northern Nigeria, the Sardauna of Sokoto, Ahmadu Bello, who was then Premier of Northern Region. So conversely, if SLS's father was not deposed, SLS could still have inherited the emir stool by directly succeeding his father, instead of now succeeding his uncle. It is also worth noting that SLS married his cousin, a daughter of the now late emir, so by marriage as well as by blood, he is well anchored to the emir-ship. 

Finally the good news wary Nigerians can take from this appointment is that the wind blew to reveal the pants of the reverend father or the fowl's yaash as some people would say. The appointment of a mere mortal that has been the cynosure of the public for quite sometime now demystifies the emir of Kano's throne, which has been perceived prior with a bigger than thou awe. Nigerians can now place the emir of Kano in his rightful place - a mere banker that is turbaned and partially masked, instead of a revered man that is near immortal facade that has been synonymous with the emir of Kano. So, with Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, the emir of Kano is afterall a human-being and its "godlike" authority would be lacking under his tenure. The other seemingly good news too is that possibly some day a head of state who does not like the choice of SLS, might rise up to depose him in like manner as Dasuki was thrown out of Sokoto Caliphate or Sultanate by Sani Abacha, to make way for a direct descendant of Ado Bayero to step in as emir of Kano, like Maccido with the Sultanate? Thereafter, it will be prayers that an Obasanjo-incarnate president will not subsequently emerge to kill the installed emir of Kano in a plane crash like Maccido and then appoint a favored retired army man in his place like Saad Abubakar? Icheoku says it is just a game of thrones being played by Nigerian chess players and so will it go on and on until thy kingdom come. 

With our assignment now done that issues may be ventilated, Icheoku says "Hail to the chief, the Dan Majen of Kano and now the new emir of Kano, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi. Congratulations SLS and may your tenure progressively add to and not subtract from that of your predecessor in the development and oneness of Kano and Nigeria in general. Icheoku says may whatever you believe in. guide and protect you through your reign Insha Allah. Nigerians, we have a new emir of Kano and his name is Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, hurray!

CHIBOK GIRLS / BOKO HARAM PRISONERS SWAP, GREENLIGHTED?

Icheoku says the Nigerian government of President Goodluck Jonathan has received the political cover and green-light needed to proceed with the rumoured Boko Haram prisoners exchange for those Chibok girls. Icheoku says if America can do it why not Nigeria? Icheoku says if Israel can do it and repeatedly too, why not Nigeria? Icheoku says the Chibok abduction scandal has become such a distraction that anything is good enough that will help resolve it, including trading in every detained Boko Haram terrorist for the release of those girls and thus bring closure to the festering debacle. 

The United States of America, despite its age long principle of not negotiating with terrorists just negotiated with terrorists and you ask yourself if America can cash in on an opened window of opportunity to secure the release of one of their soldiers, what's the big deal if Nigeria follows in tandem? It is on record too that America released the "hardest of the hardcore terrorists" in exchange for the release of a knee-jerk army deserter, who purposely delivered himself to be captured by the Talibans just to protest the war? So if Nigeria releases those Boko Haram foot soldiers in their custody for the return of those girls to their families, Icheoku does not see anything outlandish or outrageous with such action and is certain that Nigeria will not be chastised by the West for simply following their example. 

The good news also is that Boko Haram is not demanding a king's ransom for the number of girls they are willing and ready to release - they are only demanding 100 of their men for 50 Chibok girls, which translates to a 2:1 trade ratio. Unlike the Americans' 5:1 trade ratio, who traded 5 Taliban Guantanamo Bay prisoners for just 1 American soldier, Bowe Bergdahl; and the Israelis' 1000:1 ratio, who traded 1000 Palestine "terrorists" for just 1 soldier, Gilad Shalit, the Nigerian Boko Haram offer at 2:1 ratio seems rather very reasonable in the circumstance. It is indeed a mouth watering deal that does not need any second thoughts before the president's signature meets the paper of the contract. Icheoku says President Jonathan should therefore, instead of all these grandstanding being put up just for show, ask Boko Haram representatives to show him where they want him to sign to seal the deal. It is a deal to kill for and it cannot be any better and therefore should be accepted by the Nigerian government which would be getting 50 Chibok girls for ordinary 100 Boko Haram terrorists whose lives are as good as spent anyway. The derivative lesson being that next time, instead of taking such terrorists prisoners, their summarily executions on the battlefields, like their erstwhile leader Mohammed Yusuf, would be the preferred option? 

Icheoku adds that President Jonathan should find strength in the fact that he would not be the first nor would he be the last leader or president to ever negotiate with terrorists? In addition to President Barack Obama and Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu, his predecessor President Umaru Yar"Adua also negotiated with the then Niger Delta terrorists, which led to the relative peace presently being enjoyed in the restive Niger Delta region. However Icheoku condemns the American terrorist swap as setting a bad precedent especially for a great country that has come to be known as being tough on terrorists and who hitherto does not negotiate with such tin-head terrorists, hence the moniker, the cowboy country. President Obama has set a bad example with the Taliban prisoners swap as it has now exposed us more to the vagaries of a troubled world. Imagine the target pool of Americans now at the disposal of terrorists all over the world and henceforth, they will be choosing and picking their victims depending on who will yield the most dividend? Anyway, Icheoku calls on President Jonathan to be like President Obama and bring home those Chibok girls.

BERGDAHL SCANDAL, ANY IMPEACHMENT IN THE FUTURE OF OBAMA?

Icheoku says possibly President Barack Obama has finally walked into the minefield of those who always wanted him out of office and out of sight, and may have his presidency blown into pieces by the gathering storm of Bowe Bergdahl trade for Taliban 'hardest of the hard core' Guantanamo Bay detainees? Icheoku asks was the President misled into celebrating one of the worst decisions of his government thus far in the Rose Garden or was he a victim of overzealous staffers eager to score cheap political point with securing the release at all cost without first weighing the ramifications? 

Icheoku queries further who vetted the deal to ensure its compliance with existing statutory laws of the United States as well as its conformity to a standing practice of the United States wherein we do not as a matter of policy negotiate with terrorists, despite that President Reagan negotiated with the Iranians except that the Iranians are not terrorists but state actors one would add? Icheoku asks but are the Talibans terrorists or rather state actors in view of the fact that they were the government in Afghanistan before the US invasion which eventually led to their toppling? Anyway assuming that the Talibans are not terrorists and also not in power anywhere, including in their former Afghanistan, why would US negotiate with them? May be because they had something the United States wanted and only them can negotiate a trade for it and they did; and the rest is now history. 

However, the issue here is not the standing of the Talibans or their otherwise suspected terrorists-status or lack thereof. No, the issue triggered by this is whether President Barack Hussein Obama acted ultra vires the constitution when he released some Talibans without first notifying Congress as required under the law? Icheoku hopes that this is not the case as the President would have handed his detractors a weapon to attempt to shoot down his presidency through impeachment? But President Obama will not be the first US president to be impeached - President Nixon was impeached over the Watergate Scandal; President Bill Clinton was impeached over Monicagate Scandal and President Reagan escaped Irangate impeachment. 

So Icheoku posits that were President Obama to be impeached and possibly removed from office over the developing Bowe Bergdahl Scandal, Americans will understand and so also would the world especially Africans, who although identified and celebrated with his electoral victory have been left holding the plate under his presidency. African Americans will also understand because their lot has not improved much since they overwhelmingly helped vote him into office? Icheoku will not also "give a damn" because it is been disappointments all over the place as a result of so much promises that has largely been left unfulfilled and lastly, America's influence the world over is for all intent and purpose seemingly tanking. May be a change of baton would be appropriate except that his vice president Joey Biden, despite all his trumped foreign policy credentials, has not gotten many foreign policy right under this administration? This somehow gives  credence to former defence secretary Gates' assertion that Joe Biden was absent in his strongest suit - foreign policy. 

Icheoku calls for an independent investigation into the Bowe Bergdahl/Taliban prisoners swap scandal and if the President is found to have willfully violated existing United States law for the Congress to immediately commence an impeachment proceedings.  If impeached, then let due process take its course through a removal or reprimand; admitted the former will be difficult because of the composition of the senate but at least a message would have been delivered that the United States laws and interests supersedes anyone individual's, including the president, whose duty it is to honor and uphold such laws. Nothing else should matter including the fact that five Talibans were traded just for one American deserting soldier? It shows how much value the Taliban attached to the life of an American, suggesting that one American is equals to five Talibans. Icheoku has no problem with that. 

But if investigation concludes that the president acted on the advise of his trusted advisers, including that of security, military chiefs, state department and of course chief of staff and his vice president, then blames and reprimands should be apportioned accordingly, admitted that the buck should have stopped at the Oak desk? But until the root of the matter is completely excavated and unearthed, Icheoku maintains that the Bowe Bergdahl Taliban prisoner exchange scandal is not going away anytime soon, but will continue to haunt his presidency until its soul rests in peace. 

But a traitor cannot and should not be canonized or turned into a undeserving hero. Such honor is earned and not conferred and assuming the later, not to an army deserter who could easily pass for a traitor for crying out loud. American military service is an all volunteer force, no one conscripted Bowe Bergdahl into service and he understands the duty to salute and carry out orders fully well. So if he wanted to mount the soapbox, he should have turned into a politician and then his views would become relevant. But until then it is not his to decide whether a war is immoral of not or whether the scenes of battle is always messy. No, his part to play in the scheme of things especially policies, was to ask how high to jump when asked to jump. Bowe Bergdahl, as a soldier, has no right to question or rationalize any of his orders. That is the life of a soldier and Bowe Bergdahl swore to uphold these rules.

FEMI KAYODE'S RETURN TO PDP, FRAUDULENT?

Icheoku says with a promise of nolle prosequi and lucrative contracts, the rabble rouser and foul-mouthed Femi Fani Kayode has made a u-turn and returned back to the party he previously chastised, upon exit, as being too corrupt and clueless and incapable of running the country? So Icheoku wonders what has changed about the now newly "beloved" party of Kayode that was once at the barrel end of Kayode's smoking rifle? Has corruption abated or gone away under their watch? Has President Jonathan's crew suddenly become reinvented, clued and now eminently capable of running the country? How about the issue of security of lives and properties which Kayode also gave as reason for departing from the PDP before he began his now defunct although short lived dalliance with the APC? Icheoku posits that whatever epiphany Femi Kayode underwent before and after the APC foray was not real but rather was a byproduct of fogged disillusionment which made his perception of facts unreal and his judgment rascally. 

Any keen observer who followed the road traveled by this junketeer as he made his way out of PDP to the APC and now this latest b-line back to swallow his vomit, will agree with Icheoku that the thick-lipped Kayode is nothing but a humming bird that thinks himself an eagle? All the reasons he adduced for leaving PDP are still presently unsolved and all the reasons he gave for now also leaving APC were there before he joined them? So which shade of Kayode are Nigerians watching or is it merely his hologram dancing naked in the village square? Icheoku emphasises that FFK is nothing but a hollering monkey whose high decibel noise forces curiosity from people and thus not understanding that there are other reasons why people look at people short of admiration, he pats himself on the back that he is the most sort after bribe and like the lizard nods his head in approval of his political escapades? 

But Kayode prostituting himself through political parties is not the core issue here, what is in issue is the funny reasons he just gave for leaving APC to return back to the PDP? 

Icheoku says two things are possible here - either this Kayode is as Wole Soyinka pointed out, manifesting early signs of the lunacy which runs in their family or he thinks there is no records kept of his past party desertions. Further he possibly thought that APC will morph its colors like the chameleon and not remain the spotted leopard which is so proud of its spots that it does not change it? So while Kayode rehashed all the attributes of the APC as reasons for moving back to the PDP, he forgot that he was preaching to a Nigerian choir that is now saturated-heavy with hearing about APC, about APC. Those APC attributes have not changed but remained a constant as far as Nigerians know of APC. Then to further amaze and bamboozle his scanty audience, Kayode said that the Muslim/Muslim ticket being planned by the APC did it for him and he has to leave because such is an unthinkable political suicide for the party? Icheoku admonishes that no weighty politician relies on mere rumours to make such impulsive decisions such as party hopping and crossovers. Instead most timber and caliber politicians of note, conflicted by such rumoured development, would have weighed in to diffuse it and in any other event, waited until it is confirmed or becomes a reality before jumping ship. Icheoku queries what if APC had no plans or decided to do  right by every religion in Nigeria by balancing their ticket with a Muslim/Christian or Christian/Muslim ticket, would Kayode then apologise and return back to APC? 

The funny thing with this his no-reason reason, is that he also claimed to be a heavy-hitter in the APC and icheoku wonders if he actually enjoyed such status and belonged to the inner caucus of APC, why couldn't he confirm the rumour from within, either through Bola Tinubu or Buhari and if true, insist that it must not and shall not happen in his APC? Except that the loquacious and boastful and haughty Femi Kayode once admitted that much that he is just a mere outsider in the APC when he told a tale of how he once visited Bola Tinubu at his Awolowo Road residence in Ikoyi. According to him, he was laying on a sofa watching television when Bola Tinubu excused him, took Buhari, Masari and Fashola into an inner room to discuss pressing party matters while he stayed where he belonged - in the periphery of the APC. Now Icheoku asks what is the political utility of Kayode that his return to PDP matters or should matter when he couldn't even secure a gubernatorial ticket of his party in his Osun home State? What office has Femi Fani Kayode ever ran for and won in order to test his political clout other than being sired by a political force from the Western region of the sixties? 

icheoku says certain things, unlike genes, are not inherited or transferable; and therefore it does not follow that because your father was this and that, that you automatically also becomes this and that yourself by reason of your pedigree? Where are Awolowo's children today holding court in Yorubaland politics? Where are Zik's children today holding court in Igboland; ditto Ahmadu Bello's children as well as the offspring of other professionals - be it law, medicine or business? Therefore it is about time Femi Fani Kayode proved his political mettle short of his political savvy father, whose name he is riding like a mini king.

Anyway the shame is not President Jonathan's nor Chairman Muazu's PDP but that of the man who spat on the ground and later crawled back on his all fours to lick it up. After casting disparaging aspersions on the PDP filled with swines, now he has rejoined the pigsty to rumble with his fellow pigs - those were his words not Icheoku's. Icheoku says Femi Fani Kayode is not a politician and if, is merely paper-weight weightless political nymph. Femi Fani Kayode also does not have any following or clout to be of any value-added beneficial quality to the PDP with his return. At best, he is but a random political swinger, who gyrates tethering on the political elephant-grass, according to the direction of the wind. Wherever the wind blows him, there he sways and Icheoku will not be surprised to wake up tomorrow morning to hear that the deal he made with President Jonathan to lure him back, not being fulfilled, he has migrated back to the APC; except that the man who owns and runs APC, Asiwaju, is too heavy-handed dictatorial to open the door again for him. Such a scenario will finally and fully baptise him as an Atiku Abubakar's Siamese twin of political irrelevance and rejection in Nigeria. So long FFK.

WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS, BUT WE JUST DID?

Icheoku says America, America, America, what has befallen us that suddenly we have done a 180 degrees and now negotiating with terrorists, contrary to our age-long policy of not doing so? Icheoku does not know whether it is the beginning of the recently announced foreign policy rejig of the Obama administration, but if this is what is in the pipeline, then things can never be the same again. What message is American sending globally to those terrorists who will now gun for Americans and their service men to take them hostage for a negotiated ransom? Icheoku says we do not know about you, but this new Obama's foreign policy doctrine smells like a policy of weakness and not strength; and we urge the Congress to do something about it before it sends our foreign partners and friends alike scampering away from us in fear of our not being able to meet future obligations to them. It will also embolden those who are intent on doing harm to us that at best, they will come off with a negotiated exit with those Americans? Icheoku says what a day - a day America's policy of not negotiating with terrorists died and it was under President Barack Hussein Obama's watch!

ABIOLA SACRIFICED FOR NIGERIA - OBASANJO?

Icheoku decries and denounces Olusegun Obasanjo's self-effacing statement concerning MKO Abiola June 12th 1993's election's annulment and his attendant death as a complete hogwash. Icheoku says that Obasanjo's statement is too little too late, condescending, shallow, not genuine or sincere, a mockery of decency and as always, bears the hallmark of the usual Obasanjo's signature in depravity. Icheoku says if Obasanjo truly meant what he belatedly acknowledged now, concerning Abiola's denied mandate and struggle for democracy in Nigeria, that Abiola died for Nigeria, why didn't Obasanjo recognize and honor him when he was president for "sacrificing for Nigeria?" At least there is a word in the dictionary called posthumous, assuming Obasanjo could not and did not find any way to honor a dead man? But two decades later, did icheoku hear Obasanjo spit out what?

Icheoku begs to differ and disagrees with Obasanjo that Abiola died for Nigeria; and says that if Abiola died for anything, he died for Obasanjo who became president on the back of Abiola's mandate. So put in another way, Abiola technically died for Obasanjo's presidency because without Abiola's mandate or it being stolen, there would have never been an Obasanjo's presidency, which was a contraption clobbered to assuage Yoruba's supposed hurt feeling for Abiola's loss? Icheoku maintains that although Nigerians voted overwhelmingly for MKO, he did not die because of Nigeria, but because "he was not the messiah needed in Nigeria at that time" according to Obasanjo. icheoku is emphatic that Olusegun Obasanjo literally conspired with other sadistic players, both in Nigeria and abroad, to sabotage that very unique mandate which was freely given to Abiola by a broader spectrum of Nigerians, from North to South and from East to West, both Muslims and Christians, Animists and the non-religious alike. It was a total mandate except that the Nigerian Nemesis Group to which Obasanjo belongs, not meaning well for Nigeria, refused and did not respect the wish of Nigerians and they plotted to deny it and they denied it, which eventually culminated in the death of the mandate holder, Abiola. 

But unfortunately, Nigerians are now witnessing and inadvertently permitting Baba Iyabo's attempt to rewrite the script, trying to edit himself out of the ignoble role he played in that perfidy of an annulment. 

Icheoku emphasises that but for the complicity of Obasanjo and the Yoruba nation, Abiola would have reclaimed his mandate and been sworn in as president of Nigeria. Regrettably, when Abiola finally summoned the courage and threw his hat in the ring to struggle for his mandate, the Yoruba nation, to which Olusegun Obasanjo belongs, did not back him, they deserted him. Instead of helping and supporting Abiola to reclaim his mandate, Obasanjo was in South Africa defending the annulment and stating that Abiola was not the messiah Nigerians needed at that time? Some of Yoruba top heavies were also queuing up at Aso Rock and making out like bandits on the back of the mandate. Many of Yoruba politicians, in lieu of actualising the mandate, also accepted and served as ministers under Abacha; likewise were some of their Obas complicit in killing the mandate, who in exchange of various sizes of pots of porridge, told Abiola to take a hike. This development influenced the recent Bola Tinubu's declaration that so many Yoruba Obasa are "USELESS" just few weeks ago. Icheoku regrets that Bola Tinubu did not add former Yoruba president as well as some Yoruba politicians in that condemnation? According to Wole Soyinka, history is kept for a reason and it is, in addition, to make people who would otherwise deny their past activities wary and circumspect. But the shameless Otta deity, like GW Bush, does not give a damn about history to worry about the fact that his sudden u-turn position now on the Abiola's mandate is a polar opposite of his earlier position during the then annulment. Nigeria, we hail thee! I am Icheoku and I approve this message.

TALL GIRLS, NOT FOR EVERYONE.

Definitely not for those guys who are intimidated or who feel inadequate, insecure and complexed by tall girls. Brazilian Francinaldo says "make my day, send them my way anyday, anytime and thinks that his Elisany is a perfect ten and the most beautiful creature ever created. At five feet seven inches and dating six feet nine inches Elisany da Cruz Silva, Francinaldo does not mind that he has to tip-toe to land his GF a kiss or at their moments of intimacy, that he is suspended half way between her head and toes. But hey, they love each other and that is what counts. Icheoku agrees that there is something uniquely appealing of tall girls.

GUN RIGHTS, WHAT ABOUT PEOPLES RIGHT TO LIVE?

"Our son Chris and six others are dead. Our family has a message for every parent out there. You don't think it'll happen to your child until it does. Chris was a really great kid. Ask anyone who knew him. His death has left our family lost and broken. Why did Chris die? Chris died because of craven irresponsible politicians and the NRA. They talk about gun rights. What about Chris's right to live? When will this insanity stop? When will enough people say 'Stop this madness, we don't have to live like this'? Too many have died. We should say to ourselves, not one more." 

 - Richard Martinez, bereaved father of Santa Barbara shooting victim that claimed the lives of six innocents plus the depraved gunman's. 

Icheoku says until the NRA becomes more sensible and sensitive to the plights of American families, traumatized by senseless gun violence, nothing meaningful can ever be done to curb gun ownership and/or institute reasonable gun control measures in our gun-infested and violence-plagued American society. What a pity indeed that additional American families are now forced to travel through this now familiar terrain of agony, brought about by a crazed-out pervert who decided to take other people along with himself while making his exit from this thing called life. Indeed, it is regrettable. 

WHEN SIZE MATTERS, BLUE WHALE TO THE RESCUE.

Icheoku says already feeling intimidated by horses and elephants, then hide, because blue whale is here. At about ten feet long and eighteen inches in diameter, the male blue whale is the most endowed of any living thing of the penile appendage. 

Icheoku says with a phallus like that, what else can any nymphomaniac ask for or be caught being an Oliver Twist? But at 100 feet long and weighing over 170 tons, if not them, who? Icheoku says when it comes to being well hung, please give it up to the male blue whales. But hey, not to worry pin-sized, provided you know how to work it, any equipment can still get the job done; so do not begrudge the Blue whale. Just a simple factoid to add to your bank of knowledge if not already. Also theirs is called DORK and not the P-word. I am Icheoku and I approve this message!

CAN'T GET LAID, ELLIOT RODGER 'TAKES HIS REVENGE ON HUMANITY.'

Icheoku says give it up to these rich white kids who feel so entitled that they often go crazy if their wants are not met or wishes granted swiftly? Imagine a 22 year old boy, unable to successful woo any girl into the sac, decided to take his anger and frustration out on innocent people by shooting and killing them? Icheoku queries whatever happened to finding a trick to pay for sex or even using a dating service to score some? Why must this pervert resort to killing people to register his difficulty and inability to smooth talk girls into spreading for him? It sounds silly and it does not make sense that some people had to die for the "sins" of others since they were not the ones that turned his overtures down, assuming it is now an offense to refuse or reject such gestures? 

Looking more closely at the pervert's picture, Icheoku now appreciates why no girl wanted to date or sleep with this animal. He looks too sissy; he looks a girlie-man and most likely turned those girls off instead of turning them on with amorous desires? The guy even looks like he is GAY and Icheoku wonders why he thought any girl would want him, not even with his BMW uber automobile. Icheoku has read and written about so many killings in America and the stupid reasons given or suggested to explain why such hells were let loose, but to kill people simply because sexual gestures were rebuffed or because of one's inability to score dates seems to have outdone all such other previous excuses. Simply put, this excuse would qualify for the mother of all excuses ever proffered by mass murderers of America or even the entire world for crying out loud. Who knows what next excuse is down the pike as killings by gun violence continues in America, unabated and unstoppable primarily due to the actions of the NRA. 

The rampaging forlorn killer, Elliot Rodger, son of a wealthy Hollywood movie director Peter Rodger, in his trail of carrying out his "revenge on humanity," left six people dead - he stabbed three, gunned down two and another as a result of impact with his car. He also injured thirteen people in the process. Icheoku decries the pervert's video stating that he will "take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you" - the people who had 'screwed up his non-existent sex life?' He was lonely, he was isolated and he felt so bottled out and checkmated by love, in a world that is so cold and uncaring, that he took out revenge on the humanity which he blamed for all his woes and troubles. He killed both men and women; and did not confine himself to just killing only the females that allegedly refused to sleep with him, leaving Icheoku to wonder if indeed this guy was in full control of his faculties? If someone made you mad, why not just take it out on that person instead of making the entire terrain your harvesting ground? 

What another sad day in America that some families have yet again lost their loved ones to the unending gun violence that has cast an un-lifting fog over America. However, Icheoku is not against gun ownership, but advocates a more sensible gun control laws to keep guns out of the hands of those who shouldn't have them. If there was a general gun database, a young person buying several automatic weapons from several outlets would have triggered a concern before the tragedy happened. But no, the gun lobbyists and their sponsors, the National Rifles Association, would have none of that as there is money to be made selling guns and ammunition. Reechoing Richard Martinez, Icheoku paraphrasing, says "when will this insanity end, too many have been killed, when are we going to say as Americans, not any more?" Enough is enough America. But until NRA says amen to this, it is going to remain a scourge without a foreseeable end in sight and gun violence will continue to poach lives in America. Icheoku says what a sad sad truth this is and on another sad day in America. May God bless the dead and comfort the bereaved IJN, Amen. 

SOLANGE IS GHETTO, BLAME BEYONCE?

Icheoku says Beyonce Knowles Carter is squarely to blame for not putting her crazed-out family member, Solange, on the leech and for not protecting her man, Jay-Z, from her rabid and very violent attack. Any unbiased watcher, who watched that elevator-fight, will agree with late Princess Diana that there are too many people in Beyonce's marriage? Further that her marriage is being crowded out by her full grown-ass sister, who has no business hanging out with the couple? Icheoku says it is about time Beyonce put markers on the grounds and like a heroine, tell her sister to butt out or rather take a hike from her family. Like the popular saying goes, three is a crowd in a marriage and the presence of an unwanted very violent sister makes it rather too over-crowded. 

After watching the video of Solange menacingly ripping into Jay-Z, Icheoku could but draw only one conclusion - that Solange is simply a ghetto bitch, suffering the complexity of an under-achieving inconsequential little girl, who is hounded by her big sister's mega status. At her age and still loitering under Beyonce's shadow, Solange is angry and jealous that while her sister seems to have it all - stardom, fame and a rich husband, she seems to be lost in the desert of unfulfilled dreams. Now she has to act out her frustration by so disrespectfully taking swipe at her sister's man and not caring a hoot its implications, while her sister stood aloof and watched? Icheoku queries:- what was a grown up woman doing keeping company with a happily married couple, regardless of whether or not the female spouse is her sister? Icheoku asks, is Solange not of a marrying age yet and if, where is her own husband to take her frustrations out on; and if not, why can't she just go and find her own man? 

Icheoku says what pissed off everybody who watched the video, including Icheoku, was that this rabid dog Solange was uncontrollable as she pummeled, scratched and karate-kicked Jay-Z. Even as the bodyguard tried to restrain her by carrying her off to one corner of the elevator, she still threw some kicks at Jay-Z, goading him to react. Icheoku also noticed when Jay-Z picked up Solange's fallen purse-like object and tried to hand it over to her, instead of saying thank you Jay and let things simmer down, she again went after Jay-Z. Icheoku observes that while all these melee unraveled, Beyonce stood and watched, taking everything in as if she approved? But what manner of a woman would allow her husband and baby-daddy to be so disrespectfully treated like this by her little sister except she engineered the outcome? But lets suppose that she did not approve of the attack of her sister on her husband, Icheoku asks, why did she not intervene or at least pull her sister apart and demand a cessation of hostilities forthwith and force her to apologise to Jay-Z for her rude aggression? Icheoku says the attack was not only a disrespect to Jay-Z but also a total contempt to Beyonce, whose husband and the man she retires to bed with every night was so disgracefully disrespected by her own very little sister. Icheoku says only a raving lunatic would do what Solange did regardless of whatever may have provoked the assault. 

Icheoku says if Solange is not one ghetto-bred maga dog, what in the hell gave her the impetus to assault her sister's husband and in such a public manner with their bodyguard watching? Icheoku regrets that this elevator-assault is the kind of thing that ultimately leads to divorce as Jay-Z cannot but think that Beyonce was in-cahoot with her sister's disgraceful behavior. Otherwise how else could a spouse explain or try to fathom the attack on him or her by her spouse's family member while that spouse watches and did nothing? Icheoku says it does not matter what Jay-Z did or did not do to warrant Solange's attack, it also does not even matter if Jay-Z personally invited the attack by provoking Solange into a rabid frenzy; no matter the trigger, nothing justifies Solange's laying her filthy hands on her sister's husband, period. If there is something Jay-Z did or there is any issue concerning and involving her sister's husband which she cares a lot about or which worries the daylight out of her, she should as a matter of respectful decency and decorum, channel her concerns through her sister and let her take it up with her man. Icheoku says regrettably, Solange did not mess with the wrong brother otherwise her sorry ass would have been in the hospital, plugged in and with her limbs suspended in strings and fighting for her dear life. If Solange is that wacko, let her mess with a brother like Kanye West or Christ Brown and let her see the daylight smacked out of her brains. Icheoku concludes and says that Beyonce did not do well or right by Jay-Z and Icheoku will not be surprised if this elevator fight snowballs into something not so good - may be it is the harbinger of a rumoured pending divorce, who knows?

INDIAN ELECTION, BJP SWEEPS AWAY CONGRESS.

Icheoku hopes that the Nigerian party that "would rule for 100 years" will emulate the Congress Party and concede defeat without setting the whole place ablaze, should the other side win in 2015. Icheoku congratulates Narendra Modi on successfully leading his BJP in ousting a hitherto entrenched Congress Party. Way to go - CHANGE is good. 

In the words of Modi, "India has won, better days ahead"; now lets see how he is going to lift 700 million Indian poor out of poverty and put electricity power in the rest of two third of India that has no electricity. Although talk is cheap but Icheoku hopes that Modi is not just another jiving turkey politician simply blowing hot air. Anyway, all the best to Modi and BJP.

ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER SENT TO PRISON, FOR CORRUPTION.

Icheoku says this is a hallmark of a functioning democratic country where everyone and anyone is under the law, irrespective of societal ranking, power, privilege, connection, authority or even wealth. Such a display of across the board application of the law, puts everyone on notice that no matter who you are, if you do the crime, you will do the time and therefore effectively checkmates people from behaving illegally. Icheoku says what an effective deterrent to have in any society that really calls itself functional. By this no respecter of person rule of law display, Israel has once again demonstrated the way forward in the fight against corruption. But conversely in Nigeria, the duo of Africa's most corrupt individuals, Ibrahim Babangida and Olusegun Obasanjo, for example, are still freely slouching in their ill gotten loot of state and parading themselves as statesmen; and you wonder what manner of a people inhabit the geography called Nigeria that celebrate such ignominy and ignoble men? 

Icheoku hopes that someday, a king who does not know Joseph will rise up and call for the rendering of account in that country - a country that has enough tar over its image that it has the singular dishonor of being the black man's shame. Icheoku dreams that a Nigerian government that does not know corruption and which meaningfully frowns at corrupt practices will one day take the stage and hold people to account for their stewardship, regardless. But with this Jonathan, the fight against corruption has become a paradise lost; a promise broken, a hope mired in unfulfillment, an expectation dashed, a dream shattered and turned into a nightmare. Like his promised breath of fresh air that has since turned stale and putrid, the war against corruption has fizzled out, has become moribund and in its place is now a mega corruption industry that has festered and morphed into a monstrosity. Icheoku says Jonathan squandered much of the goodwill and positive tailwind that heralded his coming to power and now bemused Nigerians are asking themselves what happened, what did they bargain for while communally exhibiting a commensurate buyer's remorse? Icheoku says with Jonathan, it is much of the same and at best a lip service approach to tackling corruption. Imagine a government that is supposedly tackling corruption, conferred a national honor on someone as despicable as Sani Abacha, whose only achievement was his involvement in three military coups as an agent of destabilisation and who finally stole the country blind as its head of state? So Icheoku asks Jonathan, to please tell the bewildered world, particularly Nigerians, what paradigm was used in selecting such an honoree? 

Ehud Olmert, 68 years old former Israeli Prime Minister and once Mayor of Jerusalem is gone to prison on account of his stewardship while in office - he was accused and convicted of taking bribe. Icheoku recalls that the then Prime Minister was forced him out of office by this bribery scandal, which led to his prosecution and finally culminated to this conviction. Ehud Olmert was sentenced to six years in prison and in addition, ordered to pay one million shekels ($290,000) in restitution. Ehud Olmert was found guilty of accepting bribes totalling 560,000-shekel ($161,000), while then Mayor of Jerusalem, to facilitate the city's Holyland residential project development. Icheoku notes that this is a "mere" $160,000 dollars compared to the $180million dollars Halliburton bribery scandal under Nigeria's Olusegun Obasanjo and co which has since been swept under the rug; and you asks yourself, in a country that has serious plans for its future or which is seriously fighting corruption? 

Describing corruption as "a noxious and contagious affliction", the sentencing judge, Judge David Rozen, said "a public servant who accepts bribes is akin to a traitor who betrays the fatherland and such defendants deserve a severe punishment that will send a message that corruption is not welcome." Icheoku wonders why such judges as Judge David Rozen do not emerge in Nigeria where too many such "traitors" rather find succour in compromised judges and are often shielded from prosecution by powers that be? Continuing his berating of Ehud Olmert and co, Judge Rozen said "the defendants acted in a closed space, hidden from the public eyes; but the putrescence they produced did not stay confined to that space. Olmert took advantage of his position and accepted bribes. He reached the pinnacle of power as Prime Minister and from there he descended into the abyss of a criminal, now convicted of criminal offenses. 

Making his feeling about Ehud Olmert's conviction known, President Shimon Peres, said "this is a legal process that takes place in democratic countries. I don't have a role in the legal system, and it is clean from personal influences." Icheoku regrets that such remarks are not seen uttered by Nigeria's presidents when their friends get entangled by the law. Instead, they not only butt into the judicial process but also personally influences its outcome, with threats to undo such judges that want to aspire to be Nigeria's Judge David Rozen. Israeli Finance Minister Yair Lapid added "it is an important day in which the legal system showed that no man is above the law" but in Nigeria, the well connected are rather sitting on the head of the law, farting and breathing down on it. The prosecutor, Yonatan Tadmor, surmised Ehud Olmert conviction as follows:- "the defendant is not a symbol, the fact that the defendant served in the highest position does not serve as immunity for him in the face of punishment as for all people. Rather it is and should be the opposite.” Icheoku laments that such is not the case in Nigeria where the attainment of certain positions ensures perpetual immunity from the law and prosecution. Recall also that this is not the first time an Israeli top official is sent away for infra-dignities of office - former President Moshe Katsav is still serving prison term for rape and other sexual offenses. Icheoku says how could corruption thrive in such an environment that holds its highest public official and office holders accountable; but you look at Nigeria and it is a polar opposite. Icheoku says if corruption is, in the words of Eliad Shraga, an attorney and corruption crusader,  "a strategic existential threat to Israel," why not Nigeria? I am Icheoku and I approve this message. 

NIGERIAN DIASPORANS, BEWARE!

Icheoku cannot but laugh his head off at this parity of what those dependants back home  in motherland possibly do with all those hard earned money usually remitted via Western Union or MoneyGram? So the next time you receive that "EMERGENCY" SOS midnight call from motherland, please find a way to cross check the story before dipping into that your 'piggy-bank' to satisfy their request. Stories abound of relatives abusing the magnanimity of Diasporans, frivolously spending remitted money as if it is going out of print and oblivious of the hardship involved in earning it. Most Diasporans have either been a victim or know who has and if this abuse is checked, then this cartoon would have achieved what it is meant to achieve - AWARENESS. All the best.

'NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WOMEN' - THE STERLING (CNN) INTERVIEW.

Icheoku had written previously that Clippers' Donald Sterling was venting his anger specifically on Magic Johnson when he slipped leading to the current deluge that is threatening to sweep him away from his baby of over thirty five years - the LA Clippers. Icheoku asks who wouldn't be; which hot-blooded man would not be incensed that a girlfriend you are lavishing millions of dollars on, maintaining her, buying her whatever her heart delights including diamonds, designer clothes, louboutini shoes, choice exotic cars such as lamborghini, ferrari, etc was messing around with another man even if suspectedly? Added to that, that other man happens to be Magic Johnson, who is HIV positive and who according to Donald Sterling, has "AIDS?" So query, could it be that Donald Sterling was deathly afraid that his paramour Steviano, could contract HIV/AIDS from Magic Johnson and turn around and infect him? Is it possible that this multi billionaire owner of LA Clippers, although old, does not want to die yet and if, not through HIV/AIDS complications?  Icheoku is not holding water for Donald Sterling, but does that man or any other reasonable man in his circumstance reserve the right to be scared that his girlfriend is messing around with a known carrier of the virus? Your guess is as good as mine, admitted in the heat of passion, he went over-broad hence the resulting lynching. 

Now regarding the other issue he commented on - that blacks do not help blacks in America? Icheoku believes that Donald Sterling is not very far from the truth as many successful black people's first order of business is to move very far away from black neighborhoods, take a white bimbo for wife or girlfriend in their attempt to get validation and start hanging around in golf courses and some country clubs when their white connection facilitates it? Their thinking is that if they can make it, why not you. Icheoku once ran into Spike Lee and P Diddy's assistant respectively, and on broaching the idea of the need to push more black people into law through specific foundations/funding, to possibly find some replacement Johnnie Cochrans, the way they pivoted from the issue and took off was rather surprising. Icheoku also knows of Danny Glover's brother in San Francisco who is just merely "getting by" and you wonder why his rich movie mogul brother has not lifted him up? Also when Oprah Winfrey was asked why she did not consider Chicago inner city for her school which she established in South Africa, her answer was equally telling? Needless to add that so many inner cities in America has it worse than even Somalia for crying out loud; so you now know where the vibe of Donald Sterling is coming from? 

The fact of the matter is that there are things successful black Americans can do better if they are seriously desiring equalisation of the playing field for blacks in America - build and lift their COMMUNITY.  But instead, they hang around with white folks, their fellow successful blacks and most times turn their backs on the inner cities that produced them; except where there is camera, lights and actions and you see them smiling while handing out stuff to folks. Icheoku says this is not the way to do things right. Just listen to Donald Sterling tell the whole listening world how the Jews pull themselves up and out of poverty and uninformed people will turn around to complain that the Jews own everything in America. According to Donald Sterling, successful Jews pull funds together to give interest-free loans and grants to their fellow upcoming and starter Jews to enable them make something out of their lives and become somebody in the society. Icheoku once met a Jewish lawyer in Florida who went to law school free - tuition, room and board, courtesy of some Jewish trust fund. But folks, they would rather they are the only ones up there and you are down there, once the white man approves of them? Imagine the same Donald Sterling now being pummeled and called names was twice given an award by NAACP for his generosity towards African American inner cities and community in general; and suddenly, blacks cannot understand that a man can burn his top gasket out of jealousy? Admitted that Donald is now a somewhat pariah because of the face-value of what he said, but sometimes truth can come from imbeciles. Icheoku agrees that successful black Americans can do more to help other folks get up. 

Lastly Donald rehashed that the time worn out lamentations of many a man that "he thought he understood women, but not any more?" Icheoku admonishes that he should have asked himself what really made a thirty one year old Los Angeles gold digger find him interesting at eighty one years old - 50 years age differential? Simply put, she was doing all the licking and swallowing for the Benjamins ONLY and she got them in truckload-bundles. In short, Donald Sterling was the only job Ms Steviano had and she did very alright for crying out loud. Continuing, Icheoku says anyone who wants to understand women might as well first check himself into a lunatic asylum for trying to do that which is impossible. The way to go is, if you want to swim downstream, you don't first want to understand whether the water will change course or suddenly create rapids or curves and turns down the course, you just jump in and go with the flow. Also Jack Nicholson in "As Good as it Gets" surmised women thus, 'just take away reason and accountability" and you get a woman defined. If only Donald Sterling was a fan. Finally, as one uncle use to say, "any man who money or woman does not kill will live a long life". Icheoku says if only Donald Sterling had listened to his inner self or at least his old "disused" wife and not try to outdo Playboy Hugh Hefner, may be all these crocodile tears and 'Clintonisque' apology would not have been necessary. But boy was Anderson Cooper 360 good, making this man sing like a canary bird. Icheoku says this interview is by far the best Mr Cooper has gotten in recent times.

RALPH UWECHUE, REST IN PEACE.

ORJI UZOR KALU URGES NDIGBO ON, SHOWS THE WAY FORWARD.

“We are embarked on a big and noble dream borne out of the necessities of our history and the imperatives of our justice, equity and fair play. While our history is a proud, large, and significant imprint in Nigeria, the reality of our contemporary existence has been rendered small by the politics of the Nigerian republic. This time calls for self-assertion and Igbo people must rise and answer the challenges with one voice." - Orji Uzor Kalu, speaking on the imperativeness of a united Igbo front to take on the Nigeria project. 

Icheoku agrees into-to with Orji Uzor Kalu and has said it before and will again says it that in Orji Uzor Kalu lies the destiny of Igbo people of Nigeria in the Nigeria project. Igbo people must put aside their base restiveness and political disfunctionalities and follow the leadership being provided by this accomplished son of Igboland, the only Igbo man who other stakeholders of Nigeria from other tribes and zones truly respect and listen to. Peradventure this Orji Uzor Kalu's one time opportunity to lead the Igbos out of their political doldrums and into the promised land would be lost, but Icheoku strongly counsels against and laments that such golden opportunity rarely strikes twice. Icheoku loves the courage of Orji Uzor Kalu and prays he succeeds with the "Njiko Igbo" project whether in 2015 or any other future time. The way to go. Brave OUK.