Icheoku says the authorities in Little Elm Texas should focus primarily on the wife of the late football (soccer) star in their quest to find out what drove Uche Okafor off the cliff. Was it a case of a psychotic who just took his own life or a figuratively castrated man, who could not take it anymore and in a sense was pushed? Except you are wearing the shoes or you are privileged to be in the know, Icheoku may be sounding cuckoo to you; as you will not understand what some married Nigerian men are going through in the hands of their suddenly liberated Nigerian wives in the United States of America; especially the nurses amongst them.
Icheoku says, if Uche Okafor's wife Ifeyinwa Okafor, is a nurse and they live in Dallas area of Texas, then she is suspect number one as she probably drove her late husband to his untimely death? A man, especially an Igbo man of Owerri extraction, will not easily take the rope except to protect his honor and where no other option is immediately available. It is either a result of a cheating wife or a wife who had subjugated him so much to the extent that he was turned to a glorified houseboy or Mr. Mom of the house that he called it quit? Any man faced with a constantly nagging wife, telling him to his face that he is not man enough and cannot pay his bills, sometimes may decide to just end the marriage; but where he is unable to stand scrutiny or the stare of the society as a failure, might choose to just end it all together to save face.
It is a common knowledge within Nigerian communities in the USA that many Nigerian women in the Dallas area of Texas have taken their America given liberated status to an entirely new heights; as many of them now prefer to have no man in the house "telling them what to do?" Sources has it that they even have an association which they use to drive home their newly found liberty; and many Nigerian women in the Dallas area are desirous of joining its membership. So is it possible that the allure to join the infamous 'Liberated Nigerian Women (Divorced and Widowed) of Greater Dallas of America (Di-gbakwa-oku) group" made Ifeyinwa to so mistreat Uche that he completely lost his mind? It is not a secret what these women do and are capable of doing just to avenge what they consider Nigerian men's overbearing influence and what they allegedly went through in the hands of the proverbial "Nigerian men"? So without mincing words, Icheoku says, what happened to Uche Okafor could be traced to a matrimonial home which has become so hellish and unlivable that he wanted out and immediately. However, Icheoku does not support or condone the taking of one's life by suicide and regards it as cowardly. A pissed off and fed-up Uche Okafor would have instead walked away or taken care of business in some other fashion, instead of the cheap exit route he settled for - a two dollar twine from a 99cents store. Suicide, especially by hanging is unmanly, sissy and girlie-man like; and his body under normal traditional circumstance should be thrown away into the evil forest for the vultures to feast on to avoid damnation and bad reincarnation; or at best left with the funeral homes in Dallas to do with it however they please, but never sent home back to Igboland. Suicide is ignoble and a suicide should not be honored with proper burial, so Uche Okafor deserves nothing better and no excuse or reason whatsoever is good enough for an exception.
Icheoku says it is not easy to commit suicide and anyone who had come close to making that decision will attest to the fact that taking ones' life is about the most difficult personal decision anyone can ever make. It takes a lot for someone to be driven to that level where the taking of one's life becomes an option and in this case, the ever happy-looking Uche Okafor. His must be for something more serious than cancer and which was not ready to abate or give way to make a way that he decided enough is enough. It must be something persistent and continuing, and without any hope of it ever coming to an end; and the man must have given it his all without any success or hope thereof before surrendering to his monster. But he choose the easy way out - the cowardly way. According to the story, Uche dropped off his daughter at school while the wife had gone to work and came back to an empty home or rather house, since there appears to be no peace therein to make it a home. Long tired of living in bondage of a hellish house under an overbearing wife and with his mind already made up, he decided to put an end to his misery. This theory is aided by the fact that there was no existing mental disease record of the suicide, nor does suicide run in their family to make him join the train; so what else could push a man if not a house which is not a home.
From the story, it appeared that Uche Okafor was converted to the Mr. Mom of the household as his wife worked while he ran the errands and did other domestic chores. He had dropped off their daughter at school before returning home to continue with the dishes and other assigned domestic duties for that day. It would appear also that his changed status from a bread-winner to a homemaker was just too much for his manly ego and pride to bear that he decided to tie the final knot. But which real macho man turns tail faced with sudden change of his circumstances instead of navigating his sorry arse out of the given dilemma? Regrettably, it appears that Nigerians in Diaspora of America has suffered yet another avoidable loss of a man, who possibly fell victim of a bitching and very vindictive Jezebel of a wife, who felt so liberated by America and does not any longer care about the place of the man in a household; once she is the one bringing home the bacon? Was this what happened or is the jury still out trying to figure out what made Uche Okafor to suddenly decide to take his life. Conversely, if Uche felt so much violated by his wife's attitude that he ended it, Icheoku asks, why did he not make it a murder-suicide or was his love for their daughter such that he did not want to completely make her an orphan and chose instead to be more professional about it. Who and or what drove Uche to the land of no return is the million dollar question yawning for an answer.
Icheoku does not claim to know all the answers to the question - why Uche Okafor killed himself; but judging from what is now the standard operating practice procedure of some Nigerian women in the Diaspora, particularly in America, one is always suspicious when stuff like this happens. If it were the opposite female spouse that fell victim, fingers would still point at the man since between Nigerian men and Nigerian women in Diaspora, there is really no love lost. Each always bitch about the other and vice versa - Nigerian men, Nigerian women, Nigerian nurses etc. At 43, energetic, youthful, vibrant, healthy and still full of life; for Uche Okafor to just hang himself in his hallway does not make any sense and he does not have some incurable disease that he was too ashamed for people to find out about. Icheoku says, he must have been driven by circumstances which he could not handle which left him with just one choice - a forced final exit from this world. May be as the Igbo saying goes, something bigger than the cricket came calling in its hole and the rest as they say is now history? A defender with Nigerian Eagles from 1994 to 1998 who later played for United States of America Kansas City Wizards from 1996 to 2000, and until his death, a football analyst with ESPN. Icheoku in conclusion says that Uche Okafor did not just return to his house after dropping off their daughter at school and decided to just end his life. Suicide is not spontaneous and the suicide must have deliberated on it for quite sometime before finally settling down for that option and then proceeds on that journey of no return to the land beyond the clouds. Uche Okafor was definitely pushed by something which did not appear to be resolving itself and he must have carried it with him for quite sometime before finally giving up his life as a trade-off. Hopefully he left a suicide note; but in any event, his loss is regrettable and we offer our condolences.














