NIGERIA EAGLES, SIMPLY TOO FAT TO FLY OR PLAY SOCCER AT WC 2010?

Our verdict, they were not ready: - physically, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and professionally! To add insult to injury, they had an incompetent minder, himself another fatso, to chaperon their lame effort in South Africa!

Because of the hopeless drab 'slow-motion’ of a performance put up at South Africa 2010 by the Nigeria Eagles, Icheoku, using the powers of a critic vested in us, hereby rename the Nigeria Eagles “Baba Ibeji Eagles!” But no, since they could not fly or soar like eagle, may be some flightless bird’s name will be a preferred acronym, such as “Baba Ibeji Emus” or “Baba Ibeji Ostriches” or better still, “Baba Ibeji Penguins!”

Icheoku writes this sequel and final chapter on the Nigeria Eagles South Africa World Cup 2010 squad, maintaining that the root-cause of the abysmal failure of the team in South Africa is an incompetent coach Lars Lagerback and we hereby reiterate our earlier call to have him fired. In an earlier article published in Icheoku.com and Sahara-reporters.com, titled "Eagles Coach Lars Lagerback, send him packing and back to Sweden", our position was made clear and long before yesterday's mediocre performance at Durban South Africa and nothing has changed to warrant a rethinking .

Many rejoinders and commentators alike harpooned Icheoku for daring to "jump the gun" on the fate of the Eagles, arguing that the Eagles still have an opportunity to qualify provided they beat South Korea? Some commentators even went personal and instead of attacking the article attacked the author (messenger), calling Icheoku, a fool for rushing to conclusions? We were tempted to fire back, but mindful of our existing editorial policy and age-long practice, we decided to just leave the thrown bone for the dogs to gnaw at; and boy were they aplenty!

The problem with many a Nigerian is that he/she is not usually very proactive nor deploys readily his/her sensory perceptions beyond his immediate reachable periphery; or what does it take to figure out that the Eagles that made appearance in South Africa lacked flight, courage, bravery, motivation, push and were never driven? And these tail-tail ominous warnings were flashing red everywhere, except that most Nigerians would rather wait and see a person dead before they know that such person is dying or is about to die? Or what does it take for any discerning analytical mind to read the trajectory of the Eagles in South Africa 2010 World Cup as they exuded an ill-prepared and ill-motivated side, just playing for the heck of participation in the first ever world cup to be held in mother Africa; but never of the valor with which freedom and success are forged. It was an easily identifiable obvious that this particular Eagles was not ready for the prime-time that was South Africa World Cup 2010 will abort flight WC 2010 and sure they did as predicted. Thus it was the easiest thing to do, deciphering the moribund journey the Eagle as embarked on when they departed Abuja for South Africa 2010.

After their first match with Lionel Messi, Icheoku called it for what it portends, a journey to no where; but came the second match with the Greeks and it became a fait accompli that the eagles were going no where from the preliminary rounds. Some people cursed us out as pessimists; but nay we are not; we are but a bunch of analysts who do not have to foresee the answer to a question before we figure out the answer to a question asked?

Icheoku have seen Eagles of yester-years, both the Papa-Eagles and Junior(baby)-Eagles; but sure this bunch of "American NFL players" ain't that brand of Eagles that Nigerians are used to: - the bunch who play their hearts out for the glory of motherland, bringing home soccer laurels, trophies and cups, to show for their effort. These bunch of weight-lifters, with an average estimated weight of about 220 pounds each, had feet of lead infused clay, that made them highly immobile and easily out-paced by the much nimble and more agile South Koreans. A South Korea which were never known for their soccer prowess but who with effort and determination, now made a name for themselves as the nation that ousted the Nigeria Eagles, eliminating them from the South Africa World Cup 2010 preliminary rounds? How about that Nigerians?

The absurdity of Nigeria's fall to the lowly rated footballing South Korea is so incomprehensible that Icheoku has refused to accept it as just an outcome of a game, and that it was in the stars? The matter was even made worse as the coach Lars Lagerback failed to keep his end of the bargain with the Maradona-led Argentines; whom he had boasted should do Nigeria the favor of just beating Greece and they delivered a 2-0 win over the kins of Socrates and Pluto and Aristotle. But an incompetent coach Lars Lagerback failed to on the bargain as he couldn't mobilize his boys, some of who are international soccer maestros, to win South Korea? One does not have to be a sorcerer or wizard or soothsayer or even hold a Ph.D in rocket science to intellectually predict the outcome of a Nigeria elimination in the preliminary rounds, having watched these bunch of too-fat-to-play-football/soccer overweight men, heaving around the soccer pitch and panting like a marathon dog? It was not if but when they will be eliminated.

A group of men who have no fire in their belly, no hunger in their stomach, no thirst in their throat, no swift in their legs, no speed in their brain, no drive in their system, no passion in their hearts to win or participate honorably in the first African hosted South Africa World Cup 2010. A bunch of lead-footed "sumo wrestlers" of men, playing the round leather, instead of trying out their hands in the American National Football League (NFL); where they truly and rightly belong? Look at their necks, tree-trunks sized and you wonder how these water-buffaloes of soccer players, could endure the 90 minutes here and there sprint and pacing that playing football entails?

Leading the pack of these heavy-men, in the weight category, are Number 6 Daniel Shittu, Number 5 Afolabi Rabiu, Number 20 Dickson Etuhu, Number 8 Yakubu Aiyegbeni and of course Number 12 Kalu Uche. Icheoku asks, where was their weight-watcher and fitness trainer that these men should balloon to such sizes with a soccer match of their life in the offing? Their physique presented an all American National Football League players, which also came between them and the $30,000 match bonus promised each one of them should they trump the Koreans. They were not moved by such handsome incentive and they lost the 30,000 US dollars too, thus maintaining a loosing streak which saw them not win any match throughout their short stint at South Africa World Cup 2010.

However Icheoku cannot end this piece, without special commendation to the man of the match, Kalu Uche for the opening goal and for all the effort he made throughout the game, including the kick that struck the goal-post? Also deserving mention is the captain of the team, Kanu Nwankwo, who was never allowed prior to this game, to captain his team in the world cup. Admitted he was not the silver bullet Nigeria expected, but hey, at least, he for once led his soldiers into battle against the South Koreans? That Yakubu Aiyegbeni missed a golden opportunity inside 2yards in front of a yawning goal mouth with a displaced goalkeeper waiting to retrieve the ball from inside the net was also beyond pale. Then added the red-card man of the Nigerian side, Sani Kaita, who is being wrongly blamed for the defeat suffered by Nigerians in the hands of the Greeks.

Of course, coach Lars Lagerback deserves the front page banner for being the incompetent coach who led Nigerians to their worst international football outing ever. He should be immediately fired since he deserves nothing less. It is also instructive that unlike South Africa which also crashed out but not after defeating the French, a former world cup champions; Nigeria did not record any victory throughout their stay in the competition. Lastly, the amateurish performance of African countries in the tournament also debunked the myth of African juju, and questioned the efficacy of voodoo as both Ivory Coast and Cameroon, noted African science practitioners, were both roundly defeated. Another myth buster of the tournament is that 10 players are not as good as 11 players in a team, as the French scored their 1-goal with ten men and the Australians held back charging Argentines with ten men only; but for defeated Nigeria, Sani Kaita's red card is all to blame for their downfall. Talk about making excuses!

Concluding, Icheoku says since the fabled President Goodluck Jonathan's goodluck did not see Nigeria through in South Africa 2010, at least there is one thing he can help Nigeria do. Set a panel to probe the scandalous Nigeria's outing at and exit from South Africa 2010. Like the French is going to do with their dysfunctional national team that also crashed out of the competition, Nigeria should try to understand what happened with this Eagles shameful and hopeless outing at South Africa 2010. The objective is to avoiding a repeat of such monumental failure in the future; and in order to fix what is broken with football in the once football-rated country. Nigeria should also draw a long term plan to institute a lasting and enduring football legacy in the country. But first of all, Nigeria should immediately fire the damn coach Lars Lagerback, force the chairman or administrator of Nigeria Football Authority to resign or be fired, and the Sports Minister, since he is relatively new at his desk, make him re-organize football in Nigeria. Then and only after then, will Nigeria begin to expect to have a new lease on their football. What a shameful outing to South Africa 2010 World Cup by this flock of flightless Eagles of Nigeria!

TIGER WOODS, IT IS ABOUT TIME HE HUNG UP THOSE GOLF CLUBS?

Anyone who watched the just concluded Pebble Beach US Open golf tournament will agree with Icheoku that the days of Tiger Wood's golf dominance is over. He is now a walking shadow of his old golfing regime. The flame is extinguished, the shine is no more, the swagger is now more of a hunch, the luster is dulled, the passion is gone, the drive is kaput and the fans are now but gazing and wondering in bewildered amazement, what in the wild world drove their former idol over the ledge, cavorting with series of cheap women of easy virtue aka WHORES?

One golf writer described Tiger Woods performance at the tournament in such non-edifying words as follows:- "He got his butt kicked by a Frenchman named Gregory Havret on a Sunday in the U.S. Open; Woods played the first hole, made a weak first putt and three-putted for bogey. While third-round leader Dustin Johnson was on his way to a triple-bogey on No. 3, Woods laid up into a fairway bunker on the 290-yard fourth hole and made bogey. He never seemed right the rest of the day. He's never seemed right all year. His iron play was lacking from his distance control to his accuracy. His putts never had enough steam." Icheoku says, how lechery brought the once titanic golf symbol down from his former Olympian perch to now a golf-commoner whose every tee is x-rayed with derogatory pun and 'pen-manship' or 'keyboardship?'

The joy of watching Tiger Wood tee off is no longer there, and in its shadow is left, a constant reminder of how not to be a true and faithful husband and a moral figure? Icheoku says, Tiger Wood is permanently tainted and damaged by his philandering sexual escapades; especially because of the low level bimbos he was involved with. Bluntly speaking and keeping it real, nobody wants to watch Tiger Woods play golf any more and he is now more of a damaging fixture within golf than brings added value to the sports; and will do himself a great service if he just walks away and never returns. May be he should just go and establish a golf academy somewhere to groom upcoming aspiring golf-greats, as well as conduct courses, lectures and symposiums. But to continue putting himself on our screens pretending to be the pre-scandal TW is simply delusional and no one is journeying with him in such forlorn trip. Even looking at Tiger Woods paints a picture of a man whose soul is greatly troubled and who constantly says to himself, why did I bring this odium unto myself. What a constant reminder of the fatal flaws of men which suffers so many a successful people, including TW. cheoku asks Tiger Woods to stop his delusion about a fantasy come-back which will wash away his sins of the fly and tell himself the truth, - that he is damaged irreparably and forever!

The world of golf and its teeming fans would rather TW is gone, - just away from golf and take a long walk into obscurity, outside the headlines, until such a time as peoples memory of what went down will become dim. Better still he should turn completely to God and become an evangelist and philanthropist, and find a way to make a real and full mea culpa for his transgressions of the groin. A broken rope as the saying goes, can never be fixed to the same length and so it is that TW is advised to stop trying as his predecessors in transgression did not fare any better. The late Michael Jackson tried and even ran away on exile to Bahrain but never recovered until he died from a self-imposed seclusion; OJ Simpson tried it only to end up in prison for "robbing" what rightly belongs to him, go figure? Kobe Bryant tried it and is still struggling with his rehabilitation as many do not really like him but merely tolerate his dominance of the hoop. That he just won another NBA title is helpful but not endearing but as a work-horse he will be tolerated as long as he brings home the trophy, until he cannot bring in the hays any more; and then they will dig up his past records to keep him where he "belongs?"

Therefore, were Icheoku advising Mr Tiger Woods, we would urge him to leave the scene of competitive golfing now before he is hauled in for something more damaging than sleeping with some bimbos? He should quit now before he loses everything completely, including whatever may remain of his once peaceful and enviable life. With his reputation now forever gone with the scandalous bimbo-eruptions and dalliances; never to experience a rebound because of the ebbed politics involved; TW should cut down on his losses and make hay while the sun still flickers. Simply surmised, the joy of playing and/or watching TW play golf is long gone; the only remaining question now is, why does Tiger Woods still dither around on the golf course, where everyone wishes he was gone from since the scandal broke? Tiger, please be smart about what is, hang those golf clubs for good, at least professionally!

TURAI YAR'ADUA TRANSFORMED, FROM THE ELEGANT TO THE CREST-FALLEN?

Icheoku says, if only mankind will learn from history that life is as mercurial and dynamic as the quick silver, may be there will be less problems in this world. If anyone had told Hadjia Turai Yar'Adua two years ago that she will become a "normal citizen," descended from the Olympian epically heights of Aso Rock, within 24 months, she would not have believed her ears. But here in June 2010, four months since her late husband and then president of Nigeria Umaru Yar'Adua passed on, is Turai, the once powerful first lady looking despondent, dejected, hurting, unkempt, downcast and above all bloated?

Icheoku hopes it is all because she is still mourning her late husband and that nothing else is the matter; that the once very attractive and elegant Hadjia Turai Yar'Adua should now look so ordinary, like any other emasculated woman in purdah within the harems of Islamic Sharia Northern Nigeria?

The greatest irony of life is that most times, people who never knew that fortune will ever smile on them, when it eventually does, gets so carried away to ever remember where they were coming from. They simply forget or refuse to remember the hurtful past experience of hard life or what it feels like to go without; and most always tend to bear subsequent misfortune with complete destitution. Imagine our once all powerful and cocky dear Turai, now looking so dishevelled and forlorn since she moved out of Aso Rock and you ask yourself before Aso Rock, did her life not exist or had a life elsewhere; so why should it cease now that the sickly Umaru Yar'Adua has kicked the bucket forcing her out of the big expansive presidential mansion?

Turai, Icheoku says, life goes on and please don't let your loss of grip on power get the better part of you; afterall President Jonathan has given you a free pass by absolving you and heaping the blame on phantom overzealous security details, from the false imprisonment of your late husband which quickened his exit from this planet earth. It is instructive that President Jonathan has yet to take any action against these 'security hot-heads' who also denied the late president mother a commune with her dying son makes no sense; as only an insider and family member could be so audacious? But we gloss over the detail since President Jonathan was merely appealing to his populist tendencies by cutting you such broad slacks.

Get a life Turai and do not unnecessarily suffer yourself too much thinking that Nigerians care about you or your misfortune. No, they could care less if Turai evaporates today from the scorched desert wasteland of Katsina; memory of your crass indifference to a the survival of a then Nigeria on a precipice still hurts. It was all because of your selfish desire and plot to hold unto power forever that Nigeria suffered a near implosion when you refused a smooth transfer of power to the next in line constitutionally, so do not bemoan the cruel hand dealt you by fate, life goes on! As you must have by now realized, many Nigerians do not care a hue about your situation, having been forced to live in limbo without any knowledge of the where-about of their then sick president and for a very long time; because of you.

The memories are still too fresh and hurting; and Nigerians will need some time to get over the experience and then consider forgiving or forgetting you. It was one heck of a roller-coaster gone amok, which you forced Nigerians to ride on, nearly completely compromising their psyche in the process. How can a woman with milk of human kindness flowing in her, and who had suckled a child refuse another mother the right to see and be with her dying son? Icheoku was buying into the impossibility until recall was made to Lady Macbeth and Jezebel and you safely compete for this same pedestal with both of them. How dare you take Nigeria's president hostage, kept him out of reach and circulation, without his consent and we wonder why a charge of false imprisonment was not brought against you? Anyway, arios Amiga; start a workout today before you get too fat and very clumsy Turai!

ETO'O'S CAMEROON CRASHES OUT OF WORLD CUP 2010, WITHOUT ANY WIN?

'Samuel Eto'o never did anything for Cameroon,' so said Roger Miller; and the ex-international may be right? As the fabled penny-pincher Inter Milan's player failed to lead his country men out of the preliminary playoffs of the World Cup 2010 in South Africa, Icheoku says, what a helluva of vindication and attestation for Roger Miller!

Icheoku somewhat agrees with Roger Miller that this World Cup in South Africa provided Samuel Eto'o with a golden opportunity to debunk the alleged, and make better his records for Cameroon, but he woefully failed to deliver as he blew it all up. Now the perception stays, since his legendary soccer prowess proved insufficient to keep his team in the competition. Cameroon is now the first flunk-out of South Africa World Cup 2010 competition. What becomes of Samuel Eto'o and his Cameroon uninspiring squad, that put up this worst performance ever recorded by any Cameroon world cup squad since 1992, when they arrive back to Yaounde is any-body's guess; except perhaps, as is most likely to happen, Samuel Eto'o will be missing in the arriving squad as he may jet back to Milan straight from Jo`burg.

Icheoku have nothing personally against Samuel Eto'o as we religiously follow his European soccer wizardry which have taken him through some of the most prestigious teams in Europe; including his present gig at Inter Milan. But we were taken aback when he stupidly and foolishly, made very expensive outrageous gifts of $43,000 wrist watches each to his co-players, now the first casualty of South Africa 2010. Icheoku had thought that Samuel Eto`o was sensible and sensitive enough to understand that wrist-watches are the least of the problems militating against an impoverished Cameroonian African country; and we wrote a piece on that. We were disappointed in his questionable choice of gifts, and now couldn't say whether or not we hate him. But one thing we are sure of, is that we strongly detest his arrogant choice of gifts which apparently transcended into his hopeless performance in South Africa 2010; but we hope we shall get over it.

Samuel Eto`o and his Cameroonian side should have done better, but they failed woefully! With series of chances begging for ordinary effort, severally in front of a yawning goal-post, the Cameroonian side could'nt convert any and once again blew if for the Africa continent; now they are the first nation to be ousted from the competition being held in mother Africa and for the very first time. With the defeat of Cameroon by the Danes, one African representative leaves the competition and within the next forty-eight hours, will be home-bound to their part of the African continent. Icheoku condemns this early exit of Cameroon and particularly, Samuel Eto'o's inability to successfully and gallantly lead his side into the battle of South Africa 2010; we also complain loudly about the incompetence of another foreign-mercenary coach, who failed and was unable to take Cameroon outside the preliminary rounds. Cameroon's record was so appalling as they couldn't win any match as they twice fell to both Japan and Denmark, two not so rated footballing countries; and despite scoring an early first goal opener against the group's usual cry-baby Denmark.

Icheoku says, if African countries cannot perform better in a competition being held in their backyard, their continent, then something surely must be wrong with them. It is either their internal politics segregates in football and encourages quota system based team-selection instead of proven record of ability; or they have a very poor football administration and management that has no footballing policy in place; or the individualism of the players which takes team-work out of the equation effects their over-all performance-ability; and finally, their over-reliance on foreign coaches, who but give passive effort to their coaching. These third rate coaches, who no club will touch in their respective countries, usually have no real allegiance to the country whose team they are coaching; and without a dog in the fight, can afford to be lackadaisical with their coaching as well as become complacent in effectively managing the players. And since their salaries and bonuses are most always paid and collected upfront, they lack the incentive to improve on their records and have nothing to lose in any case? It is pitiful indeed that the ever mighty Cameroon that once beat Maradona led Argentina in a world cup, just crashed out of the South Africa 2010 World Cup competition. So much for a tree, Samuel Eto`o, that was mistaken and misjudged for a forest; and Cameroon regrettably realizes now too late that a football squad is not called a team just for nothing. Arios amigo, bon voyage Cameroon, see you in Brazil but not with your under-performed egotistic Eto`o!

AUSTRALIA V. GHANA WORLD CUP MATCH, 10-MAN TEAM IS AS STRONG!

When Icheoku wrote that red-carded Sani Kaita was not the reason for Nigeria's loss to Greece, but an incompetent coach Lars Lagerback, who is not technically sound enough to make needed adjustments, we knew we were right. Australian national team Soccer-Roos has additionally affirmed and buttressed our position; - they just proved Icheoku right. They out-played Ghana with a ten-man team, having suffered a red card loss of a midfielder early in the first half, but still held Ghana to a 1-1 draw. Congratulations Aussies for a stellar performance under adversity!

The result shows that no African team participating in the world cup is really prepared for South Africa 2010; which unfortunately may be the last time the fiesta will be held in Africa in the nearest future. How can these Africans not fully appreciate the stakes here - both in honor and respect, being the host; but instead they played hopelessly, purposelessly, clueless-ly and vision-lessly as if nothing really mattered. Ghana was a complete flop, a total disappointment and reckless as they could not make use of a God given opportunity to over-run a ten-man Australian side. Ghana's below-par performance against the ten-man Australian side, a lowly-rated side and weakest link in their group, playing with only ten men against their full eleven is nerve-wrecking. It is also instructive that the Ghanaians own goal came through a penalty kick, admitted it was perfectly taken and delivered, begging the question, does the Ghana national team have active strikers? Or is it another case of an incompetent foreign mercenary-coach who is not good enough to lead a team to a world cup competition, having failed to exploit such one man advantage Ghana? Simply put, the Ghana match against Australia was just another mediocre African performance by another African country at the first ever world cup competition hosted on the African continent! Ghana's failure to beat a 10-man Aussie side is apologetic and uninspired.

Also yesterday, the United States of America proved what a motivated, driven and brave country looks like as they rallied from a 2-0 half-time deficit to cancel both goals; and went further to even score a would have been winning goal, but for another African nightmarish refereeing which inexplicably disallowed a world class goal by America's Edu.

Icheoku hopes Nigerians are watching and seeing what big time competition is all about - a clear head and guts; so they must stop blaming Mallam Sani Kaita and instead just fire that coach Lars Lagerback, the culprit here. Coach Lagerback failed woefully to read the match and adjust a ten-man side to continue the play, himself not technically astute for such judgment calls. Nigeria should also take a cue from other well-performing footballing countries of the world by looking inside their own boarders for coaches instead of these incompetent foreign mercenary-coaches they import from third rate footballing countries. Argentina is being coached by one of their former international Diego Maradona, so is Germany, Brazil, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Japan, North Korea, United States of America and the list goes on. If Nigeria cannot hire a foreigner to be their president or governor or senator or IGP or Central bank governor etc, why must they always resort to cheap foreign coaches for their national team, expecting them to deliver on what they do not know and lacks the patriotism to give a skin in the fight. These foreign coaches have no dog in the fight and sees their assignment as a money making opportunity which they bilk to the maximum; if in doubt recall coach Clems Westerhof pulling out of Amokache and Amuneke in the world cup match against Italy when the Eagles were beating Italy 2-0 until that conspiratorially decision and the rest is history. Icheoku calls on Nigeria Football Association to immediately fire the incompetent coach Lars Lagerback for being in breach of his performance-based contract. Also they should embark on a far-reaching football reform that will de-emphasis the culture of reliance on incompetent foreign coaches and evolve a football master-plan that is both truly altruistic and enduring.

EAGLES COACH LARS LAGERBACK, SEND HIM PACKING AND BACK TO SWEDEN!

It is now obvious that the dream is dead and that there is no way in hell Nigeria will proceed to the next rounds in the World Cup 2010 competition in South Africa. They fell to a lowly-rated Greek side that had never scored any goal or won any match in any world cup tournament since the inception of the World Cup competition, over 74 years ago. Icheoku therefore says, for having fallen to such a rock-bottom low, and to a mediocre footballing nation Greece, a country still mired in the worst economic disaster of all times comparable to the BP gulf of Mexico oil spill, Nigeria has become a caricature of its past football glory days.

What a testament to the new level of mediocrity and hopelessness that Nigeria has sunk to as their foremost Eagles could not survive preliminary rounds in South Africa World Cup 2010. As far as Icheoku is concerned, no excuse is good enough notwithstanding the undeserved red-carding of aggressive and explosive Alaniya Russia’s Sani Kaita; who Icheoku thought only deserved a caution of yellow card but not the over-killed red card. But who knows what hallucinatory powder was ingested or inhaled by the referee to make him see red where he should have seen yellow, afterall he is from Colombia? Kaita’s conduct was unsportsmanlike and a closer slow-motion view shows that he made little or practically no contact with the pretentious Greek player, who faked serious excruciating injury and it also happened outside the field of play.

However, Icheoku is not making any excuses for Kaita as he should have known better, being a professional player in Alaniya Russia; and supposedly fully aware of the politics of football and FIFA’s rules, especially regarding the good guys and the usual suspects? But Kaita’s unprofessional infra-dignitious misbehavior is not on trial in this piece; but the incompetent coach Lars Lagerback who did not and failed to deliver on his performance based contract. His country, Sweden’s press-corp warned Nigeria that it was getting a dud with their hire of the then jobless coach Lars Lagerback, but no one at NFA or their supervising Sports Ministry listened? They were instead busy, scheming and salivating about all the goodies including bloated expenses and inflated estacode they are going to rake in from the South Africa jamboree? Icheoku learnt that the number of government officials who went to South Africa just for the World Cup tournament, conservatively put is about 164; and you wonder what that many officials are doing watching football when the business of governance is suffering? From the president, to the 64 senators, 58 representatives, state governors, local government chairmen, directors, ministers and NFA officials etc, all went on a jamboree to South Africa?

But back to Lars Lagerback’s incompetent outing with Nigeria Eagles in South Africa 2010 World Cup. Icheoku’s verdict, he is simply not good, he is incompetent, uninspiring and technically not savvy enough to take on such a world class big project of taking Nigeria to its world cup glory. Now that he has woefully failed by leading Nigeria to its worst world cup appearance, Icheoku says the authorities at Abuja should invoke the all inclusive performance clause of his contract and revoke his contract for his lack of performance. His duty was to take Nigeria to a successful world cup run, he has failed to perform his said obligation; therefore his contract should forthwith be terminated since the condition subsequent has failed.

When a third rate country and its third rate football authority which has been plagued by third rate leaderships hires a third rate coach from a third rate footballing country to lead a third rate, ill-prepared, timid, unfocused, non-motivated, and dis-shovelled team to a world cup competition, what you get is what was got. An abysmal mediocrity below-par performance by the timid and uninspiring side that was too afraid to take on Greece, with a ten man squad and fight to finish as if their lives were dependent on the outcome! But why should they sacrifice for motherland that has done nothing for them to become what they are today, and when behind their minds, they are thinking about the outrageous 90 million Naira each per quarter being demanded by the Nigerian Senators; and you wonder why the plundering! Icheoku says this world cup outcome is worst than the coach Clems Westerhof conspiracy of the 90s when he unceremoniously pulled out Amokachi and Amuneke to facilitate Italians’ come-back win from a 2-0 first half deficit? How can a Nigerian side with so many world class international players, competitively playing in some of the best clubs in Europe and elsewhere, not win or draw any match in their Group B’s preliminary play-off matches? There is no explanation that is acceptable other than that the incompetent Lars Lagerback could not coordinate these fine players and weave their play together; and it is not as if Nigeria was not warned of this supposed coach’s rustiness, but they choose to ignore it anyway to their detriment of a Nigeria’s first round elimination from the first Africa, South Africa hosted world cup mundial.

Kaita’s red card should not be an excuse since it was not the first time a player was sent out in a football match; and therefore it is not out of place for a team to sometimes finish a game with ten men or with a two man deficit. A determined, highly motivated and driven team would have still thrived despite the Kaita bump on the road. But nay, they fell apart like a pack of cards and the outcome included a second goal that was rather too easily conceded by the Argentine-match much celebrated Hapoel Tel Aviv Israel goal-keeper, Vincent Enyeama. Icheoku asks where was the team’s psychologist or counselor to give them pep talk and psyche them up, not to be crest-fallen because of their one man shortfall. Where was the technical acumen of Coach Lars Lagerback in re-arranging their playing formation in order to withstand whatever trickery, the lowly-rated Greece might deploy? Nay, he just stood there throwing his hands up in the air, hoping for the miracle of soccer to take control?

The early warning signs of coach Lars Lagerback’s gross incompetence were clearly written on the wall when he did not allow one of Nigeria’s best known international, Kalu Nwankwo, to play in any of the games, despite his professional soccer exposure and gifted experience with goal-scoring; and this is his third world cup call to duty? It is inexplicable that this designated captain of the Nigeria’s Eagles was never allowed a playtime in the tournament? Coach Lagerback’s final list also excluded Everton striker Victor Anichebe, Nice defender Onyekachi Apam, Real Zaragoza’s Ikechukwu Uche who happen to be the top scorer in Nigeria’s Eagles world cup qualifying matches; and Lagerback sparingly made use of ace striker, Obafemi Martins,

In conclusion, the story of Nigeria’s Eagles South Africa World Cup 2010 inept outing when told, will gravitate around the incompetent coach Lars Lagerback who as his country’s head coach could not qualify his own country Sweden to South Africa 2010; a marvelous goalkeeper, Hapoel Tel Aviv Israel goal-tender Vincent Enyeama, Uche who scored Nigeria’s only goal in the tournament and Alaniya Russia’s midfielder Sani Kaita who was red-carded in the Greece match. But the biggest bullet-point that will be written is that Nigeria could not survive from their Group B, did not win any match and hopelessly disappointed millions of Nigerians, Africans and black people all over the world when they failed to qualify in the first world cup hosted in Africa!

Icheoku says, Swedish coach turned Nigeria Eagles non-performing coach of South Africa 2010, should be sent packing from Johannesburg and never allowed to return back to Nigeria for whatever reason, including to collect his articles of possession which he may have acquired over the brief period he domiciled in Nigeria. A third-rate coach who was written off by his home country, Sweden, for his inability to qualify them for the world cup and who Swedish journalists warned Nigeria against hiring, has now abysmally failed in his assignment to take the Nigeria Eagles to a successful world cup outing and therefore, should be fired! Except the squad he went to South Africa with was imposed on him by the ever “federal-character” minded Nigeria Football Association (NFA), which federal character only comes to play when it favors the north, Icheoku says, that squad sucks and deserved their humiliating exit from the world cup competition. Also were it not for the saving grace of the gummy hands of goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama, may be Nigeria would have also had the atrocious record of being the team that sustained the most goals in a world cup competition as Argentine Lionel Messi severally threatened their goal-post.

It is instructive to note that the fabled goodluck of President GoodluckJonathan failed to and could not positively impact the dismal outcome, recorded by the Nigeria Eagles in South Africa. It is also very safe to posit that President Jonathan’s first international football outing ended in a disaster since he couldn’t take Nigeria beyond the preliminary rounds; even the midget of Kano, Sani Abacha brought home a cup to Nigeria during his murderous regime. On a last note, Shaibu Amodu should be apologized to by all those Nigerian officials who threw him under the bus, in preference to a pale-skinned foreign coach; despite his near miraculous qualification of the Eagles for the tournament. A colonial people’s mentality that “the master is good and fellow citizen is bad,” which makes less traveled and less exposed Nigerians and Africans in general to always defer to white people rather than patriotically supporting one of their own. It is also interesting to note that Shaibu Amodu did not get near what Lars Lagerback both in support, resources and financial perks got including payment in foreign currency; yet they want to compare both men. Icheoku says, look who is laughing now, as he who laughs last laughs best and Shaibu Amodu’s laugh is cosmetic-dentist approved. If only Nigeria will learn from the foolery of jettisoning Amodu Shaibu and hiring an incompetent foreign coach to reap where he did not sow; and this foreign mercenary-coach lacks any real vested interest in Nigeria’s success to make him go an extra mile to see the Eagles through? As a lasting panacea, may be Nigerian authorities should consider disbanding the Eagles and reconstituting them into a more nimble and dynamic football group; and also completely gutting or doing away with the NFA might not be a bad idea at all; so should every attempt be made to privatize the football association.

'TOUCH DOWN JESUS' STATUE, TORCHED BY FIRE FROM HEAVEN ON HIGH?

'Thou shall not make unto me an image or statue, so says God; and someone in Monreo Ohio thought God was joking? As God's wrath descends on Monreo, north Cincinnati, Ohio, United States of America, consuming by fire the mockery of dollar-bills Christianity, a "molten image" of a supposed Jesus; Icheoku says, finally the days of the Old Testament is once again, back here with us! As a correlation, the end times may be near too; eliciting the question, are you prepared to meet with the coming Jesus? Born again? Nope, just rehearsing.

Throughout the bible from Exodus 20:3-6, Deuteronomy, Isaiah and practically the entire books of the old testament, The Lord God Almighty warned against making of images in his likeness since perversion might lead mankind into worshipping such "idol" instead of the living true God. In God's own words, " Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth." Icheoku therefore asks, could God have become so angry at the perversion that is the giant sized image at Monroe's Solid Rock Church that he decided to personally take care of business himself?

In the old testament, brimstone, plagues and fire were constantly deployed by God, raining them on people who transgressed his ways. But in our generation, God decided to give us unfathomable leeway to do as we please and all he gets is people perverting his ways in the name of Christianity and using his son's name as a money making machine and industry, which some pastors are using and abusing with some of them tooling around in private jets. The Jesus Icheoku remembers never owned even a donkey and had to borrow someones donkey during his triumphant entry into Jerusalem; but today's men of God think otherwise and fragrantly display untoward wealth which goes against the teachings of Jesus Christ. Therefore, Icheoku asks, is it possible that the church at Monroe over-reached itself thereby attracting God' wrath when they used over $300,000 they could have used in helping the helpless, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the shelter-less to just erect a statue of a supposed Jesus? Something that could for all intent and purpose, pass for a "dumb idol" which according to the Book of Habakkuk cannot see, hear, speak, smell, touch, feel, walk, know, breathe, and which cannot even answer prayers or save a person in trouble?

So did the church in Ohio bring this damnation upon themselves, since this has all the signature of a God's rebuke on their ways and manners of practicing Christianity? So was the lighting that torched the Solid Rock Church heavenly sent; such that in addition to destroying the $300,000 62-foot-high statue, it also wrecked a $700,000 in damage to adjacent structures? Icheoku says, instead of the church officials praying about it so that God can reveal himself to them and tell them what happened, they are busy boasting how they will fire-proof the replacement statue without first asking God if it is his will that it be replaced? Is it God's will that any statue be built for his son, Jesus, talk-less of replacing the burnt one? If Icheoku were those leaders, we would first seek divine revelation as to why and what happened and then go from there, rather than figuring out how to erect a fire-proof replacement statue. It is entirely possible that God does not want any statue at all, whether with or without fire-proofing; afterall, it is one of God's own cardinal instruction which says, obedience is better than sacrifice; and no image should be erected in my own name?

So whats the rush to replacement of the torched 'Touchdown Jesus statue?' God's wrath in destroying 'Touchdown Jesus' statue was such that adjacent structures around it were completely gutted and singed; and the reflection pool surrounding the statue which is usually filled with fishes are now without any life whatsoever as all the fishes are now dead as a result? The ensuing fire ignited from thunderstorm sent from heaven at around 11.15 p.m. on Monday, June 15, 2010. If you do not still believe in God or take his biblical instruction seriously, this must be a wake-up call to you that the Bible is real and we are all here at his mercy. Lord God, please forgive Solid Rock Church Monroe Ohio of whatever sin they may have committed by erecting an image against your command; and also forgive the entire mankind for not worshipping you without any reservation whatsoever, being a jealous God!

According to an eye witness, "It was a very bright flash of lightening accompanied by loud thunder, and it was a very significant ground strike;" atypical of the ways and means of the biblical God of the old testament? Continuing his account of the incident which somewhat corroborates Icheoku's narrative that it was the wrath of God that consumed the "Touchdown Jesus" statue, the eye witness said, "The pattern of light flashed all the way to the ground in the general direction of the church. The statue burned very quickly, it burned to the ground. The whole statue was gone, less than four minutes after the strike and before dispatched fire service could get to the location within just five minutes of placing a fire call?" The witness said that the blaze was so intense and rapid that the 911 emergency line was almost clogged by so many people calling in and reporting what they described as "an inferno of great intensity" which according to one description, "produced a spectacular lightening similar to a fireworks; and God is known to consume by fire! Icheoku asks, who is still in doubt that God's hand is not in what happened? The structure which measures 60ft tall and 40ft wide at its base had all manners of protective devices built into it, including lightening resistors, catchers and protectors; yet God took it down at his own will in one fell swoop, once again debunking man's arrogance of thinking he is in control? Deja vu, biblical Old testament!

Pictured topmost left is the statue, followed right middle by the inferno from heaven and then last by the skeletal remains of the structure of what used to be the said statue.

FYI: - The large "King of Kings Touchdown Jesus" statue was erected in 2004 outside Solid Rock Church, 904 N. Union Road, along northbound Interstate 75 in Monroe, Butler County, Ohio, just north of Exit 63. The evangelical Solid Rock church which has about 4,000 members was founded by a former horse trader Lawrence and his wife Darlene Bishop of Middletown Ohio; and the statue has become a major landmark attraction in the county.

VUVUZELA, THE WONDER TRUMPET OF SOUTH AFRICA 2010 WORLD CUP, STAYS!

Icheoku likes the beehive-like sound produced by those South Africans football fans blowing their Vuvuzela trumpets at the World Cup 2010. The sound is so motivating that players are forced to work hard to win, reminded of the ever busy bees. Please FIFA do not attempt to ban our way of celebration as standards ain't the same everywhere. What Europe and North America may consider noise is music to other peoples ears! Moreover Africans are a loud and proud people, not constrained to show or express their emotions; and also not too frigid to party hard. Please let Africans enjoy their first ever world cup in whatever way or manner they deem fit and know best including blowing their beautiful melodious charging wonder-trumpet Vuvuzela; get it FIFA? Europe and North America have not banned their rock concerts or motor racing sports or is it a case of George Orwell's Animal Farm come back to life again? We shall not have it, not this time or you might as well cancel the world cup and take it to cold tundra Alaska where you can have all the eerie quiet of a graveyard silence you want! But Africa must be allowed to celebrate the world cup lively, so FIFA please let Africans be Africans; Vuvuzela stays or the world cup is ruined for us!

ETO`O'S GIFT OF WATCHES, MISPLACED & MISGUIDED FOR NEEDY AFRICANS?

And unintelligent too! Icheoku condemns the gift of ultra-expensive designer wrist -watches made by Inter Milan's Samuel Eto`o to his country, Cameroon, world-cup team-mates as both misguided and thoughtless! A more articulate and goal-directed thoughtful benefactor would have channeled the sum into a gift that could translate into some more meaningfulness; and not to shower a wasteful $43,000 dollar wrist watches on a people, some of who do not make the equivalent of that amount yearly on their day job?

Icheoku asks, what is an African, a Cameroonian, doing with such a prohibitively exorbitant piece of extravagance, wearing on his African wrist, a watch whose price could help solve so many other very pressing issues of his community? When one factors in the fact that some of these players are locally based, not so well off like the Eto`os of this world; and in a crime-infested Cameroon, may have their wrists even chopped off with cutlass by armed bandits wishing to make off with those 'bling-blings?' What if those beneficiary players pawn off those watches as they would most probably do anyways and get their value for onward application to some more meaningful ventures?

Icheoku asks, in the absence of having their hands cut off or their pawning off those watches, what is really the utility of giving an African man, probably in need of so many other more important life-saving things, a watch valued at over twenty thousand dollars? It is Icheoku's position that, except of course it is a promotional ruse staged by a superstar player for publicity and some bragging rights among his Cameroonian audience, a player noted for his love of money and spendthrift, who ordinarily will not easily part with his cash, talk-less of the amount under advisement, such expenses is mind-boggling in absence of a catch.

An Eto`o who want to do something for his world cup team-mates would have cut them some checks, buy them some cars or given scholarship to their children or any other thing but not a $43,000 wrist-watch gift. Watches are not the best gift in the circumstance of some African-Cameroon players, who would rather their preferences were asked by Samuel Eto`o before he settled down on some time-pieces.

According to the story, Inter Milan's Samuel Eto`o splashed $1.3 million or 900,000 Pounds on several customized watches at $43, 000 dollars each on his Cameroonian world cup colleagues to fulfil a promise he made to them to induce their qualification for the world-cup 2010 in South Africa.

And if as is being alleged that Eto`o reacted to a goading by one of his country's ex-international player that he has never done anything to his country, Icheoku wonders if timepieces given to his co-players qualify as doing something for Cameroon? Why not build a community hospital, a school, buy some mosquito nets for mosquitoes infested Cameroon, pave the road, give some scholarships or even start some NGO of micro-financing to help lift millions of Cameroonian women out of poverty? There are simply one thousand and one things that Eto`o could have done to positively impact Cameroon other than a few watches for some very few wrists, assuming they will have the courage and audacity to wear them. Anyway, it is gifts by Eto`o to his people of Cameroon; and only Eto`o knows the appropriateness of such gift and also whether or not it served his purpose. But as for Icheoku and other discerning minds, it was a gift of foolery, neither needed nor wanted by impoverished Africans; and not by a bunch of Cameroonian men, kicking the round leather and hoping to do their country proud in South Africa 2010.