EAGLES COACH LARS LAGERBACK, SEND HIM PACKING AND BACK TO SWEDEN!

It is now obvious that the dream is dead and that there is no way in hell Nigeria will proceed to the next rounds in the World Cup 2010 competition in South Africa. They fell to a lowly-rated Greek side that had never scored any goal or won any match in any world cup tournament since the inception of the World Cup competition, over 74 years ago. Icheoku therefore says, for having fallen to such a rock-bottom low, and to a mediocre footballing nation Greece, a country still mired in the worst economic disaster of all times comparable to the BP gulf of Mexico oil spill, Nigeria has become a caricature of its past football glory days.

What a testament to the new level of mediocrity and hopelessness that Nigeria has sunk to as their foremost Eagles could not survive preliminary rounds in South Africa World Cup 2010. As far as Icheoku is concerned, no excuse is good enough notwithstanding the undeserved red-carding of aggressive and explosive Alaniya Russia’s Sani Kaita; who Icheoku thought only deserved a caution of yellow card but not the over-killed red card. But who knows what hallucinatory powder was ingested or inhaled by the referee to make him see red where he should have seen yellow, afterall he is from Colombia? Kaita’s conduct was unsportsmanlike and a closer slow-motion view shows that he made little or practically no contact with the pretentious Greek player, who faked serious excruciating injury and it also happened outside the field of play.

However, Icheoku is not making any excuses for Kaita as he should have known better, being a professional player in Alaniya Russia; and supposedly fully aware of the politics of football and FIFA’s rules, especially regarding the good guys and the usual suspects? But Kaita’s unprofessional infra-dignitious misbehavior is not on trial in this piece; but the incompetent coach Lars Lagerback who did not and failed to deliver on his performance based contract. His country, Sweden’s press-corp warned Nigeria that it was getting a dud with their hire of the then jobless coach Lars Lagerback, but no one at NFA or their supervising Sports Ministry listened? They were instead busy, scheming and salivating about all the goodies including bloated expenses and inflated estacode they are going to rake in from the South Africa jamboree? Icheoku learnt that the number of government officials who went to South Africa just for the World Cup tournament, conservatively put is about 164; and you wonder what that many officials are doing watching football when the business of governance is suffering? From the president, to the 64 senators, 58 representatives, state governors, local government chairmen, directors, ministers and NFA officials etc, all went on a jamboree to South Africa?

But back to Lars Lagerback’s incompetent outing with Nigeria Eagles in South Africa 2010 World Cup. Icheoku’s verdict, he is simply not good, he is incompetent, uninspiring and technically not savvy enough to take on such a world class big project of taking Nigeria to its world cup glory. Now that he has woefully failed by leading Nigeria to its worst world cup appearance, Icheoku says the authorities at Abuja should invoke the all inclusive performance clause of his contract and revoke his contract for his lack of performance. His duty was to take Nigeria to a successful world cup run, he has failed to perform his said obligation; therefore his contract should forthwith be terminated since the condition subsequent has failed.

When a third rate country and its third rate football authority which has been plagued by third rate leaderships hires a third rate coach from a third rate footballing country to lead a third rate, ill-prepared, timid, unfocused, non-motivated, and dis-shovelled team to a world cup competition, what you get is what was got. An abysmal mediocrity below-par performance by the timid and uninspiring side that was too afraid to take on Greece, with a ten man squad and fight to finish as if their lives were dependent on the outcome! But why should they sacrifice for motherland that has done nothing for them to become what they are today, and when behind their minds, they are thinking about the outrageous 90 million Naira each per quarter being demanded by the Nigerian Senators; and you wonder why the plundering! Icheoku says this world cup outcome is worst than the coach Clems Westerhof conspiracy of the 90s when he unceremoniously pulled out Amokachi and Amuneke to facilitate Italians’ come-back win from a 2-0 first half deficit? How can a Nigerian side with so many world class international players, competitively playing in some of the best clubs in Europe and elsewhere, not win or draw any match in their Group B’s preliminary play-off matches? There is no explanation that is acceptable other than that the incompetent Lars Lagerback could not coordinate these fine players and weave their play together; and it is not as if Nigeria was not warned of this supposed coach’s rustiness, but they choose to ignore it anyway to their detriment of a Nigeria’s first round elimination from the first Africa, South Africa hosted world cup mundial.

Kaita’s red card should not be an excuse since it was not the first time a player was sent out in a football match; and therefore it is not out of place for a team to sometimes finish a game with ten men or with a two man deficit. A determined, highly motivated and driven team would have still thrived despite the Kaita bump on the road. But nay, they fell apart like a pack of cards and the outcome included a second goal that was rather too easily conceded by the Argentine-match much celebrated Hapoel Tel Aviv Israel goal-keeper, Vincent Enyeama. Icheoku asks where was the team’s psychologist or counselor to give them pep talk and psyche them up, not to be crest-fallen because of their one man shortfall. Where was the technical acumen of Coach Lars Lagerback in re-arranging their playing formation in order to withstand whatever trickery, the lowly-rated Greece might deploy? Nay, he just stood there throwing his hands up in the air, hoping for the miracle of soccer to take control?

The early warning signs of coach Lars Lagerback’s gross incompetence were clearly written on the wall when he did not allow one of Nigeria’s best known international, Kalu Nwankwo, to play in any of the games, despite his professional soccer exposure and gifted experience with goal-scoring; and this is his third world cup call to duty? It is inexplicable that this designated captain of the Nigeria’s Eagles was never allowed a playtime in the tournament? Coach Lagerback’s final list also excluded Everton striker Victor Anichebe, Nice defender Onyekachi Apam, Real Zaragoza’s Ikechukwu Uche who happen to be the top scorer in Nigeria’s Eagles world cup qualifying matches; and Lagerback sparingly made use of ace striker, Obafemi Martins,

In conclusion, the story of Nigeria’s Eagles South Africa World Cup 2010 inept outing when told, will gravitate around the incompetent coach Lars Lagerback who as his country’s head coach could not qualify his own country Sweden to South Africa 2010; a marvelous goalkeeper, Hapoel Tel Aviv Israel goal-tender Vincent Enyeama, Uche who scored Nigeria’s only goal in the tournament and Alaniya Russia’s midfielder Sani Kaita who was red-carded in the Greece match. But the biggest bullet-point that will be written is that Nigeria could not survive from their Group B, did not win any match and hopelessly disappointed millions of Nigerians, Africans and black people all over the world when they failed to qualify in the first world cup hosted in Africa!

Icheoku says, Swedish coach turned Nigeria Eagles non-performing coach of South Africa 2010, should be sent packing from Johannesburg and never allowed to return back to Nigeria for whatever reason, including to collect his articles of possession which he may have acquired over the brief period he domiciled in Nigeria. A third-rate coach who was written off by his home country, Sweden, for his inability to qualify them for the world cup and who Swedish journalists warned Nigeria against hiring, has now abysmally failed in his assignment to take the Nigeria Eagles to a successful world cup outing and therefore, should be fired! Except the squad he went to South Africa with was imposed on him by the ever “federal-character” minded Nigeria Football Association (NFA), which federal character only comes to play when it favors the north, Icheoku says, that squad sucks and deserved their humiliating exit from the world cup competition. Also were it not for the saving grace of the gummy hands of goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama, may be Nigeria would have also had the atrocious record of being the team that sustained the most goals in a world cup competition as Argentine Lionel Messi severally threatened their goal-post.

It is instructive to note that the fabled goodluck of President GoodluckJonathan failed to and could not positively impact the dismal outcome, recorded by the Nigeria Eagles in South Africa. It is also very safe to posit that President Jonathan’s first international football outing ended in a disaster since he couldn’t take Nigeria beyond the preliminary rounds; even the midget of Kano, Sani Abacha brought home a cup to Nigeria during his murderous regime. On a last note, Shaibu Amodu should be apologized to by all those Nigerian officials who threw him under the bus, in preference to a pale-skinned foreign coach; despite his near miraculous qualification of the Eagles for the tournament. A colonial people’s mentality that “the master is good and fellow citizen is bad,” which makes less traveled and less exposed Nigerians and Africans in general to always defer to white people rather than patriotically supporting one of their own. It is also interesting to note that Shaibu Amodu did not get near what Lars Lagerback both in support, resources and financial perks got including payment in foreign currency; yet they want to compare both men. Icheoku says, look who is laughing now, as he who laughs last laughs best and Shaibu Amodu’s laugh is cosmetic-dentist approved. If only Nigeria will learn from the foolery of jettisoning Amodu Shaibu and hiring an incompetent foreign coach to reap where he did not sow; and this foreign mercenary-coach lacks any real vested interest in Nigeria’s success to make him go an extra mile to see the Eagles through? As a lasting panacea, may be Nigerian authorities should consider disbanding the Eagles and reconstituting them into a more nimble and dynamic football group; and also completely gutting or doing away with the NFA might not be a bad idea at all; so should every attempt be made to privatize the football association.

'TOUCH DOWN JESUS' STATUE, TORCHED BY FIRE FROM HEAVEN ON HIGH?

'Thou shall not make unto me an image or statue, so says God; and someone in Monreo Ohio thought God was joking? As God's wrath descends on Monreo, north Cincinnati, Ohio, United States of America, consuming by fire the mockery of dollar-bills Christianity, a "molten image" of a supposed Jesus; Icheoku says, finally the days of the Old Testament is once again, back here with us! As a correlation, the end times may be near too; eliciting the question, are you prepared to meet with the coming Jesus? Born again? Nope, just rehearsing.

Throughout the bible from Exodus 20:3-6, Deuteronomy, Isaiah and practically the entire books of the old testament, The Lord God Almighty warned against making of images in his likeness since perversion might lead mankind into worshipping such "idol" instead of the living true God. In God's own words, " Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth." Icheoku therefore asks, could God have become so angry at the perversion that is the giant sized image at Monroe's Solid Rock Church that he decided to personally take care of business himself?

In the old testament, brimstone, plagues and fire were constantly deployed by God, raining them on people who transgressed his ways. But in our generation, God decided to give us unfathomable leeway to do as we please and all he gets is people perverting his ways in the name of Christianity and using his son's name as a money making machine and industry, which some pastors are using and abusing with some of them tooling around in private jets. The Jesus Icheoku remembers never owned even a donkey and had to borrow someones donkey during his triumphant entry into Jerusalem; but today's men of God think otherwise and fragrantly display untoward wealth which goes against the teachings of Jesus Christ. Therefore, Icheoku asks, is it possible that the church at Monroe over-reached itself thereby attracting God' wrath when they used over $300,000 they could have used in helping the helpless, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the shelter-less to just erect a statue of a supposed Jesus? Something that could for all intent and purpose, pass for a "dumb idol" which according to the Book of Habakkuk cannot see, hear, speak, smell, touch, feel, walk, know, breathe, and which cannot even answer prayers or save a person in trouble?

So did the church in Ohio bring this damnation upon themselves, since this has all the signature of a God's rebuke on their ways and manners of practicing Christianity? So was the lighting that torched the Solid Rock Church heavenly sent; such that in addition to destroying the $300,000 62-foot-high statue, it also wrecked a $700,000 in damage to adjacent structures? Icheoku says, instead of the church officials praying about it so that God can reveal himself to them and tell them what happened, they are busy boasting how they will fire-proof the replacement statue without first asking God if it is his will that it be replaced? Is it God's will that any statue be built for his son, Jesus, talk-less of replacing the burnt one? If Icheoku were those leaders, we would first seek divine revelation as to why and what happened and then go from there, rather than figuring out how to erect a fire-proof replacement statue. It is entirely possible that God does not want any statue at all, whether with or without fire-proofing; afterall, it is one of God's own cardinal instruction which says, obedience is better than sacrifice; and no image should be erected in my own name?

So whats the rush to replacement of the torched 'Touchdown Jesus statue?' God's wrath in destroying 'Touchdown Jesus' statue was such that adjacent structures around it were completely gutted and singed; and the reflection pool surrounding the statue which is usually filled with fishes are now without any life whatsoever as all the fishes are now dead as a result? The ensuing fire ignited from thunderstorm sent from heaven at around 11.15 p.m. on Monday, June 15, 2010. If you do not still believe in God or take his biblical instruction seriously, this must be a wake-up call to you that the Bible is real and we are all here at his mercy. Lord God, please forgive Solid Rock Church Monroe Ohio of whatever sin they may have committed by erecting an image against your command; and also forgive the entire mankind for not worshipping you without any reservation whatsoever, being a jealous God!

According to an eye witness, "It was a very bright flash of lightening accompanied by loud thunder, and it was a very significant ground strike;" atypical of the ways and means of the biblical God of the old testament? Continuing his account of the incident which somewhat corroborates Icheoku's narrative that it was the wrath of God that consumed the "Touchdown Jesus" statue, the eye witness said, "The pattern of light flashed all the way to the ground in the general direction of the church. The statue burned very quickly, it burned to the ground. The whole statue was gone, less than four minutes after the strike and before dispatched fire service could get to the location within just five minutes of placing a fire call?" The witness said that the blaze was so intense and rapid that the 911 emergency line was almost clogged by so many people calling in and reporting what they described as "an inferno of great intensity" which according to one description, "produced a spectacular lightening similar to a fireworks; and God is known to consume by fire! Icheoku asks, who is still in doubt that God's hand is not in what happened? The structure which measures 60ft tall and 40ft wide at its base had all manners of protective devices built into it, including lightening resistors, catchers and protectors; yet God took it down at his own will in one fell swoop, once again debunking man's arrogance of thinking he is in control? Deja vu, biblical Old testament!

Pictured topmost left is the statue, followed right middle by the inferno from heaven and then last by the skeletal remains of the structure of what used to be the said statue.

FYI: - The large "King of Kings Touchdown Jesus" statue was erected in 2004 outside Solid Rock Church, 904 N. Union Road, along northbound Interstate 75 in Monroe, Butler County, Ohio, just north of Exit 63. The evangelical Solid Rock church which has about 4,000 members was founded by a former horse trader Lawrence and his wife Darlene Bishop of Middletown Ohio; and the statue has become a major landmark attraction in the county.

VUVUZELA, THE WONDER TRUMPET OF SOUTH AFRICA 2010 WORLD CUP, STAYS!

Icheoku likes the beehive-like sound produced by those South Africans football fans blowing their Vuvuzela trumpets at the World Cup 2010. The sound is so motivating that players are forced to work hard to win, reminded of the ever busy bees. Please FIFA do not attempt to ban our way of celebration as standards ain't the same everywhere. What Europe and North America may consider noise is music to other peoples ears! Moreover Africans are a loud and proud people, not constrained to show or express their emotions; and also not too frigid to party hard. Please let Africans enjoy their first ever world cup in whatever way or manner they deem fit and know best including blowing their beautiful melodious charging wonder-trumpet Vuvuzela; get it FIFA? Europe and North America have not banned their rock concerts or motor racing sports or is it a case of George Orwell's Animal Farm come back to life again? We shall not have it, not this time or you might as well cancel the world cup and take it to cold tundra Alaska where you can have all the eerie quiet of a graveyard silence you want! But Africa must be allowed to celebrate the world cup lively, so FIFA please let Africans be Africans; Vuvuzela stays or the world cup is ruined for us!

ETO`O'S GIFT OF WATCHES, MISPLACED & MISGUIDED FOR NEEDY AFRICANS?

And unintelligent too! Icheoku condemns the gift of ultra-expensive designer wrist -watches made by Inter Milan's Samuel Eto`o to his country, Cameroon, world-cup team-mates as both misguided and thoughtless! A more articulate and goal-directed thoughtful benefactor would have channeled the sum into a gift that could translate into some more meaningfulness; and not to shower a wasteful $43,000 dollar wrist watches on a people, some of who do not make the equivalent of that amount yearly on their day job?

Icheoku asks, what is an African, a Cameroonian, doing with such a prohibitively exorbitant piece of extravagance, wearing on his African wrist, a watch whose price could help solve so many other very pressing issues of his community? When one factors in the fact that some of these players are locally based, not so well off like the Eto`os of this world; and in a crime-infested Cameroon, may have their wrists even chopped off with cutlass by armed bandits wishing to make off with those 'bling-blings?' What if those beneficiary players pawn off those watches as they would most probably do anyways and get their value for onward application to some more meaningful ventures?

Icheoku asks, in the absence of having their hands cut off or their pawning off those watches, what is really the utility of giving an African man, probably in need of so many other more important life-saving things, a watch valued at over twenty thousand dollars? It is Icheoku's position that, except of course it is a promotional ruse staged by a superstar player for publicity and some bragging rights among his Cameroonian audience, a player noted for his love of money and spendthrift, who ordinarily will not easily part with his cash, talk-less of the amount under advisement, such expenses is mind-boggling in absence of a catch.

An Eto`o who want to do something for his world cup team-mates would have cut them some checks, buy them some cars or given scholarship to their children or any other thing but not a $43,000 wrist-watch gift. Watches are not the best gift in the circumstance of some African-Cameroon players, who would rather their preferences were asked by Samuel Eto`o before he settled down on some time-pieces.

According to the story, Inter Milan's Samuel Eto`o splashed $1.3 million or 900,000 Pounds on several customized watches at $43, 000 dollars each on his Cameroonian world cup colleagues to fulfil a promise he made to them to induce their qualification for the world-cup 2010 in South Africa.

And if as is being alleged that Eto`o reacted to a goading by one of his country's ex-international player that he has never done anything to his country, Icheoku wonders if timepieces given to his co-players qualify as doing something for Cameroon? Why not build a community hospital, a school, buy some mosquito nets for mosquitoes infested Cameroon, pave the road, give some scholarships or even start some NGO of micro-financing to help lift millions of Cameroonian women out of poverty? There are simply one thousand and one things that Eto`o could have done to positively impact Cameroon other than a few watches for some very few wrists, assuming they will have the courage and audacity to wear them. Anyway, it is gifts by Eto`o to his people of Cameroon; and only Eto`o knows the appropriateness of such gift and also whether or not it served his purpose. But as for Icheoku and other discerning minds, it was a gift of foolery, neither needed nor wanted by impoverished Africans; and not by a bunch of Cameroonian men, kicking the round leather and hoping to do their country proud in South Africa 2010.

BP OIL SPILL DISASTER IN GULF OF MEXICO

A BROWN PELICAN, VICTIM OF BP OIL SPILL CRYING OUT LOUD FOR HELP?

The ecological and environmental damage of the BP Mexican Gulf oil spill is beginning to manifest in all fronts. Imagine even this majestic brown pelican cannot take it any longer and is now crying out for help. Icheoku asks, where are all the environmental warriors and green volunteers, the inhabitants of the gulf region including this pelican need your help! They are facing a certain death from the oil spill-nuclear winter, except BP plugs the hole!

BP GULF OIL SPILL'S MR TONY HAYWARD!

You are looking at the man responsible for the condition of the pelican above, his name is Tony Hayward, CEO of BP. Icheoku asks, when is the pelican going to get its life back, Mr Hayward?

WORLD CUP 2010, SOUTH AFRICA'S TRIUMPH AND NIGERIA'S SHAME?

As the world gathered in South Africa celebrates the coming of age of the African continent regarding its capacity to host a major world sporting event, Icheoku says the honor is South Africa's; and only South Africa! Today, Friday June 11th 2010 is the kick-off of the FIFA World Cup 2010 soccer tournament in South Africa; what a thing of great joy that at last something good is happening in a stunted continent which have become the cry-baby of the world?

Icheoku celebrates with South Africa; albeit with mixed feelings in that whilst the self-proclaimed giant of Africa, Nigeria, is still slumbering, South Africa has since moved on as the preferred destination for a gathering of the world, celebrating the round leather sports event.

Like the popular aphorism goes, what is ours is ours and what is mine is mine; so it is that Icheoku longs that it is in Nigeria and not South Africa that the festival of soccer 2010, which officially starts today, is being celebrated. Icheoku hopes South Africans will understand the good-faith brotherly jealousy being expressed here in that Nigeria which helped liberate apartheid South Africa, has so damaged itself by several years of self-inflicted injury, caused by series of inept leaderships, that South Africa have now over-taken it in practically in every departments; including being the first African country to host the FIFA World Cup tournament. This is despite the fact that South Africa does not produce or export any oil, unlike Nigeria which was once awashed with oil revenue, so much so that the genocidal Yakubu Gowon once declared that he was at a loss with what to do with money?

Instead of these deficient leaderships applying the billions of dollars received over the years towards developing the infrastructure and public image of the country, they siphoned it into their private safe deposit accounts in Switzerland, Cayman Island and other colluding countries of the world; and shamelessly parade and pride themselves after being forced out of office as multi-billionaires? Evil genius Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida's infamous $12 billion dollars embezzlement readily comes to mind and he wants to again be president? These people are so daft to think that the world regards them any seriously, having stolen from the coffers which they were mandated to guard. Now the world is celebrating South Africa by staging its soccer fiesta on their soil and the sick stunted child of Africa, Nigeria, sidelined, is angling for attention and loathing for a switching of sides? But the bible warns us 'thou shall not covet!" Icheoku says, only in their wildest dreams; except there is a serious introspective thinking and change of hearts, with a more desirable goal-directed objective and a clear destination in sight. Only such a B-line is capable of taking Nigeria to the promised land.

Anyway, since Nigeria is not the res-discussion here but a celebrating South Africa, Icheoku begs to pivot back to the biggest sports festival of the world - the FIFA World Cup 2010, being hosted in the land of Liberator Nelson Mandela. With a line-up featuring Nigeria, South Africa, Ivory Coast, Ghana, Algeria, Cameroon, England, Netherlands, Denmark, Slovakia, South Korea, Australia, North Korea, Japan, Spain, Serbia, Switzerland, Portugal, France, Germany, Denmark, Italy, United States of America, Honduras, Mexico, Paraguay, Chile, Costa Rica, Argentina, Brazil, etc - the best there is in the art of soccer artistry 2010, Icheoku cannot but expect to be thrilled and entertained as the month-long festival unfolds. Who wins depends on who mother-luck favors most as most of the participating countries gave it their all in order to qualify in the first place, so they understand the high stakes poker game facing them; also the days of Brazil's absolute dominance of the event has long been gone.

However, Icheoku pitches its hat with Argentina as the country that will win the trophy and at worst, play in the finals. Their superlative players Barcelona's Lionel Messi and Inter-Milan's Diego Milito are two exceptional players to watch out for to display spectacular, mesmerising dexterity with the round leather object. In short, their soccer wizardly is such a thing of joy any day, any time, for any soccer fan; and they can score goals from any and near impossible angles and distances too. Further their coach Diego 'Hand of God' Maradona promised to run around naked in the event Argentina wins the trophy; and Icheoku cannot wait to splash the picture of his tiny-biddy whinny on our website; how about that for some comic relief? As for the host country, South Africa, it is good enough they qualified and should do their best not to get eliminated at the early stages; and the other two somewhat expectant African countries - Nigeria and Ivory Coast; Icheoku will not bet a dime on their longevity in the tournament.

Be that as it may, it is good enough that for the first time in the history of the FIFA World Cup, that motherland is playing host to all the world soccer loving people. That by itself is a milestone and every black/colored man and woman should be very proud of that singular honor; South Africans in particular should walk heads-high, with some air of haughtiness for having the privilege to fly that first African flag as a host of the world cup. Thank you International Football Federation Association (FIFA) for granting South Africa and by extension Africa the hosting rights for this year's mundial. Congratulation South Africa for what you have managed to put together in preparation; let the game begin! Goodluck to you all participants.

Slovakia

ATTAHIRU JEGA, ANOTHER ACADEMIC PROFESSOR FOR INEC?

President Jonathan Ebele Goodluck of Nigeria promised that the candidate who will man INEC will be an acceptable surprise to Nigerians, that he has never met him personally and that he will do a good job chaperoning next years general election 2011. Professor Attahiru Jega it has been revealed, is the promised INEC messianic man of the moment and only time will tell if President Jonathan's optimism was exaggerated or well founded. As for Icheoku, Jega's antecedents are welcoming; except that the disgraced Maurice Iwu was a co-pilot (vice president), in the then Jega led Academic Staff Union activists group wherein he earned his feathers as its principled president?

So as a correlative, the only question which now remains is whether the Jega of yesteryears is the same Jega of today; and also whether he will not also be used and dumped in similar unceremonious manner as virtually all his predecessors in office? Good, well intentioned men who became victims of the ever pervasive Nigerian political class who have perfected the art of manipulating elections and election umpires? Such is their dexterity and tenacity to truncate elections that the deity of Otta, Olusegun Obasanjo, was recently forced to comment, rather metaphorically though, that 'even Jesus cannot conduct an acceptable elections in Nigeria?' Boy was Obasanjo right, admitted he was severally called out for that comment; by those busy-bodies 'men of God' who lack proper understanding or discerning ability to see the pun in the statement; since Obasanjo was not deriding Jesus with that comment but merely using His name figuratively to illustrate the apogee and highest echelon of uprightness and forthrightness.

The next question bogging the hell out of Icheoku is, why another professor after all the past history of failed professors who had attempted to educate an unwilling, stubborn, idiotic and uncivilized political class, not amenable to a new political thought process? Why not a priest, a bishop or an imam? Why not an accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, a businessman, a council of Ndi-Ichies, Ulama or even Oyo-mesi? Why not a retired judge or administrator or even a former president or Justice Chukwudiufu Oputa? But the university background which have now also produced Jega is not the problem, except one considers the fact that the same academia environment also produced Eme Awa, Humphery Nwosu, Okon Uya, and Maurice Iwu? Except for Humphery Nwosu's June 12th feat, all the other professors could at best be said to be better theoreticians; than on-hands political doers who accomplished no moss? Also what is it with naming the electoral body, perhaps something inimical that the several names it have born never resulted to anything positive - from Electoral Commission, FEDECO, NECON, and now INEC? What is wrong in just naming it "Elections Agency?" But why bother with semantics, and provided a reasonably acceptable elections can be conducted by it, it does not matter the name it bears that gives Nigeria the much sort after but elusive free and fair elections come 2011?

It is also instructive to note that since the advent of elections in Nigeria, that the north has never produced an umpire of elections prior to this Professor Attahiru Jega's appointment? What another first for a Nigeria in transformation - a northerner appointed for the firs time by a southerner to organise and supervise an election in which the southerner may run against some northerners? Icheoku asks, who said that there is no hope for there to emerge someday, a more functional Nigeria where tribes and religion rather galvanizes than divides the polity? Post independence federal and regional elections of 1964 and 1965 were conducted under the electoral chairmanship of Eyo Esua from then Eastern region, now South-south Cross River State. The 1979 second republic government of President Shehu Shagari was chaperoned by Michael Ani, also from south-south Cross River State, led FEDECO. In 1983 Justice Victor Ovie-Whiskey from then Bendel State, now south-south Delta State took over FEDECO and conducted the elections which ushered in Shagari's short lived second term, aborted by the Muhammadu Buhari's military coup of the same year in December 1983. Professor Eme Awa, from South-East Abia State took over in 1987 but had enough conscience to resign when the evil one, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida wanted to use him for some other ulterior purpose to achieve his un-saintly objectives?

Like the present appointee Attahiru Jega, Eme Awa is also a professor of Political Sceince; and like Ebitu Ukiwe who resigned his 'vice presidency' under Babangida rather than play just "a company-man" role, Professor Eme Awa resigned his office rather than allow himself to be converted into a mere stooge like the disgraced Maurice Iwu cowered in the hands of Obasanjo. Another professor, Humphery Nwosu, from South-East Anambra State was appointed to replace Eme Awa in 1989; and he had the singular privilege of conducting the freest and fairest election ever held in Nigeria which produced the June 12th election won by MKO Abiola but which was wickedly annulled by the evil one, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. To Humphery Nwosu's credit were also the enviable Option A4 and Open Ballot System. In 1993, one Professor Okon Uya from South-south Akwa-Ibom State became the chairman of the electoral body; followed by Sumner Dagogo-Jack from south-south Rivers State in 1994. Mr. Dagogo-Jack was succeeded by Justice Ephraim Akpata from South-south Edo State in 1998 who midwifed the third republic of Olusegun Obasanjo in 1999. He was succeeded by Abel Guobadia also from south-south Edo State in 2000 who ushered in Obasanjo's second term in 2003..Then enter the disgraced Professor Maurice Iwu from South-east Imo State in 2005, whose conduct of the 2007 elections was so flagrantly below par that even its beneficiary-in-chief, the late president Umaru Yar'Adua, admitted that the election which brought him to office was greatly flawed. But unlike Professor Eme Awa or Ibitu Ukiwe, Maurice Iwu lacked the decency to call it quits when Obasanjo was unseasonably pulling his puppet's strings, but was disgraced out of office by being sacked with few months remaining in his term? Also unlike Humphery Nwosu, Maurice Iwu lacked the courage to stand up to his master and declare the real result, instead of the prepared one which he was forced to read out as the real deal.

So with the litany of southerners who have chaired the electoral body and the concomitant election flaws which followed, Icheoku asks, may be it is about time another part of Nigeria, the north, is tried in that chair? Also will it be fair to argue that all these circumstances considered, it is safe to argue that the south has failed Nigerians in conducting credible elections that could withstand muster? However, in deference to the Yoruba South-west, no Oduduwa son or daughter has ever sat on that seat; leaving the present South-south and South-east solely responsible for all the failed elections which Nigeria had been bedeviled with since independence? Such a position would have been a fair argument except that Humphery Nwosu, a southerner, produced the benchmark June 12th Abiola election. Also Eme Awa had to resign rather be shackled and not allowed to conduct a free and fair elections; and he is also a southerner.

So what is Icheoku saying in essence, - that the gist of election irregularities in Nigeria might not necessarily lie with the heads of such electoral body, but with the crass political class in Nigeria whose mantra is always the end justifies the means; hence their win at all cost mentality of do or die politicking. While wishing Professor Attahiru Jega God's (or Allah) speed and guidance in running the Independent National Elections Commission (INEC), Icheoku cautions that he too may not necessarily have the silver bullet needed to fix a broken electionering Nigerian politics; and may himself be equally consumed by a treacherous political quick-sand that is Nigeria political firmament. Until the political class become more civilized and change their thuggish ways; and start thinking outside the box , may be by year's end next year, Professor Attahiru Jega may become so rubbished by Nigerian politics and politicians, that Nigerians will once again call for his head on a platter; giving credence to Obasanjo's remark that 'not even Jesus could conduct an acceptable elections in Nigeria!" Goodluck to you Jega, congratulation on your appointment.

FYI:- On one funny note, www.icheoku.com reiterates the so much touted "scoop" by the Nigeria's Vanguard newspapers on "the appointment of Buhtari Mohammed as the new INEC chairman to succeed maurice Iwu?" Needless to say events have since proved it a hoax; and you wonder who their editors are, knowing that they should not have swallowed such a bait so foolishly and so quickly. Hopefully they will retract the said story and apologise to their readers for such a buffoonery of journalism.

SINS OF THE EVIL GENIUS, BABANGIDA?

ICHEOKU, BABANGIDA PREFERS DEAD ABIOLA THAN A LIVING ABIOLA?

“I want to see a situation whereby MKO Abiola will be immortalised as a person who fought for democracy in this country. I want to see maybe an institution named after him that talks only about democracy. That is the most enduring legacy we can give MKO.” - Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Icheoku says, wonders shall never end; imagine the deep end this evil man is prepared to dive into, in his crass bid to get what he does not deserve. However, Icheoku says MKO Abiola would have preferred the presidency of Nigeria which he rightly won being given to him by IBB than IBB, honorarily naming of an institution after him. Shameless Babangida, shame on you for what you did to Nigeria by that June 12th annulment. Away with Babangida, say no to IBB 2011.

BABANGIDA 2011, AMERICA WITHDRAWS SUPPORT AND DISTANCES ITSELF

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According to sourced information President Barack Obama administration have caved, in deference to popular yearnings of the Nigerian people, and offloaded the Nigerian political untouchable, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida? Denying their support for the evil one, an official said that the administration “was troubled by insinuations that Washington supports General Babangida’s candidacy, or had anything to do with his decision to run!” Icheoku commends this clarity and applauds it as being in tandem with President Obama's earlier assertion in Ghana that "Africa needs strong institutions and not strong men!" Away with Babangida, say no to IBB 2011.

ICHEOKU SAYS, NIGERIANS IF YOU FELT SO GOOD UNDER OBASANJO, THEN IBB IS YOUR MAN?

Otherwise, kick his sorry anti-democracy arse into the sewer, back to Minna! The case of another mean and hideous ex-army man holding Nigeria hostage must not be allowed, never again! Be a conscientious Nigerian, reject Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida in 2011; it is the right thing to do, all his antecedents considered!

NIGERIANS, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE DEVIL THAT WANTS TO RULE NIGERIA AGAIN IN 2011

The devil incarnate, at 70, is simply too old to rule; and lacks fresh ideas with which to move Nigeria forward. He has killed Nigerians before and will kill them again! He has hurt Nigerians before and should not be allowed to once again spread his maniacal terror on the land. 'Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me'; so Nigerians, would you ever allow yourself to be shamed by this terrorist again? It is pay-back time, so Nigerians use this God given opportunity to take your pound of flesh from IBB. Reject Babangida in 2011. He is a fool that wants to approbate and reprobate? A monstrosity of Minna, Islamic Sharia state of Niger!

MAVI MARMARA FREE GAZA FLOTILLA, ISRAEL TOOK A POISONED BAIT?

Icheoku says, Israel should not have taken the bait of the 'Mavi Marmara Free Gaza Flotilla' ship, as the organizers wanted to provoke an international incident and they succeeded. Their desired outcome was achieved, courtesy of a not so clearly thinking Israel command structure that authorized a lethal force under the circumstance? It is all about who the bad guy is, and in this situation, Palestines are looking more saintly than the Israelis? Hopefully the matter will be corralled before it turns into a major international crisis capable of plunging the entire Middle East into a large conflagration.

It was an over-reaction for the Israeli commandos to rappel down unto an unarmed civilian ship on the high-seas; instead of waiting for it to dock and then board it for necessary inspection and possible seizure if it is warranted? Also it was ill-advised to open fire on innocent activists no matter the provocation or any an alleged self-defense; they should have instead retreated? Their action now depicts the Israelis as blood-thirsty and agent-provocateurs in the conflict with Palestine. Simply put, no reasonable person gives his enemy a noose with which to hang him and Israel just did that by this avoidable bloody raid on Mavi Marmara activist ship wherein 19 people lost their lives?

In this latest skirmish, a continuum of the ongoing conflict with Palestine, Israel lost heavily in the department of public relations and propaganda within the international community? Israel must act fast to repair this self-inflicted damage, apology, pay compensation and lift the siege over Gaza immediately to help douse the tension which will definitely progressively get worse. Like many unbiased minds and student of the Middle East Israeli/Palestine conflict, who have been religiously following the conflict, this incident will be fully exploited by the Palestine and their Arab/Muslim brothers and drive all mileages therefrom to the end of the earth. Like Geobbels, propaganda minister of Adolf Hitler once said, 'publicity and propaganda are the two main instruments of warfare; and Geobbel was again right. But a decisive resolution must be reached; except that Rahm Emmanuel and David Axelrod necessarily have a dog in the fight and by extension, President Obama is sort of boxed in?

Anyway, quoting Rodney King, Icheoku says, why can't Israelis and Palestines all just get along together since it is more costly to wage war than to make peace? Enough of putting the rest of the world in such a difficult position where they are forced to take sides in a conflict between two brothers which has ranged on since Genesis. Let there be peace in the Middle East and let the blood of these innocent peace activists be the fertilizer that will nourish that peace. Our condolences to those lost activists in the Mavi Marmara Free Gaza Flotilla!

WELCOME TO LAGOS, THE BBC SLUM DOCUMENTARY, GOOD PR FOR NIGERIA?

Can good and bad co-exists or necessarily be found in the same thing; not if you are a literary scholar and familiar with irony, oxymoron and paradox? Sometimes, a good thing be found and taken out of a bad situation, such as in this attempt by the British Broadcasting Corporation to give Lagos a bad name? A more functional government that has its acts together and which has a well oiled public relations machine could have turned this seemingly bad press of BBC, which portrayed the slums of Lagos, into an asset - showcasing honest people making earnest income in the spirit of the new green themed world of recycling?

For any discerning mind which is not particularly yoked in by the apocryphal trouncing-about of some government officials over the BBC documentary, the said documentary did Lagos and by extension, Nigeria, one heck of a big favor! It showcased a Nigeria with Nigerians that are not fraudulent and criminals; a Nigeria which like every other given society, has its highs and lows; a Nigeria which like any other country, have its good, bad and ugly; admitted the ugly and bad among them get all the prime-time and front-page coverage in the foreign press/media? Icheoku says, literally speaking, there is nothing wrong with recycling, or is there; so why the ruckus generated by 'Welcome to Lagos?' 'Welcome to Lagos,' the documentary, showed to the world that within the Nigeria society, a society long suffering from battered image as a nation of 419, criminals and fraudulent people, are still found some characters that are very decent, honest and hardworking! 'Welcome to Lagos' is ironically speaking, a very good expose` for a Nigeria's image that has been in the toilet for so long, as it shows that many Nigerians are good people, earning honest wages from decent work; admitted they were not wearing ties, suits and starched shirts? They are exhibiting industry and the inexhaustible length the human spirit can go to get water out of a stone, making money out of other people's refuse?

'Welcome to Lagos,' the story of a dump-site somewhere in Ojota, a Lagos suburb where some enterprising Nigerians have turned a smelly stinky refuse dump-site into their own version of an oil well; and a cattle market where different young entrepreneurs emerge daily as well as the Ajegunle slum yard, where the Micheal Jacksons of Nigeria are constantly molded? It is a documentary as soul-searching, riveting and as is very instructive. For those who have not seen the documentary, Icheoku recommends you go see it; and for those who watched it but without an open mind, please go watch it again but this time, with an intellectual mind to assimilate the real subject matter of the documentary and not join the political leadership in harpooning the BBC for exposing their under-belly, creating such untold hardship in a country that is supposed to be awashed with petrol-dollars, sufficient to go round?

The dump-site is not necessarily the story in this documentary but the prowess and ingenuity of a humanity eking a living from the discarded of others; and which have taken the word recycle and green environment to another level? Think of it that what are in the landfill came from some peoples households and individuals, who threw them away as garbage; but which to the trained eyes of these slum-dogs, translates to money? To them, the dump-site is an oil well, their own allocation of the Nigeria oil wealth which provides them with something to hold unto while looking into their future and their children's future? It portrays the resilience spirit in Nigerians and shows that not every Nigerian is a criminal or 419 operative or a corrupt oil bunkerer? The dignity of labor of honest wages for honest job is what this documentary is about? The message of the documentary is the dexterity of the human spirit, where from a refuse dump have arisen entrepreneurs ranging from food vendors, manicure and pedicure providers, retailers, wholesalers of salvaged articles as well as 'love-nests' where couples are moulded with many having emerged and living happily ever after? The message also include orderliness, community organizing, dispute settlements, family values, utility of extracting copper from wires by burning and quenching cables, democracy in action and the rule of their own law; wherein an elected dump-site chairman rules for three years and hands over peacefully to the next elected chairman in a free and fair election, devoid of thuggery, rigging and brigandage? A chairman whose final word is final regarding any disagreement or disputation arising among his subject and fellow dump-site dwellers and workers?

Analyzing the documentary, Icheoku have categorized it into three principal tiers - love, family and industry as represented in Joseph, Slender and Eric. Icheoku have seen other similar documentaries of other neighborhoods of the world including the 'Slum-dogs of Delhi,' the 'Cemetery dwellers of Manila,' the 'Fevellas of Rio de Janeiro,' and the 'Hurricane Katrina exposed Ward 9 Parishioners of New Orleans?' So in fairness to the British Broadcasting Corporation, it did not specifically single out Lagos Nigeria for ridicule; and in any other event, showcased only what they saw existing on the site and did not in any way manufacture or make-up the story of a sordid human situation living in abject poverty and from dump-site to mouth?

But as any discerning mind would, the documentary could be turned around for good and used for the good in it - its beneficial purpose:- the honest and decent Nigerians happily earning honest living! Of particular interest is the character, Eric aka Slender who is tirelessly working to earn money to pursue his musical career - take his demo to the studio and take a photograph that will adorn his upcoming album? His travails were also seen when his gang beat up Kazeem, who lost one of his eyes in the altercation and the negotiated settlement for compensation; after he was suspended from the dump-site for several months? He made a come back after his suspension and successfully had his album completed and DJs playing his song on radio, a triumph over adversity? For anyone who knows Slender, Icheoku is offering to assist him to the tune of thirty thousand Naira towards his album project, except if our offer has been overtaken by events or time. Slender is our dramatis-persona in chief as he was focused, goal-directed, always fully well that the dump-site is just but a means to an end and not necessarily an end.

Then enter Joseph who met and married his wife of 'Christian marriage' from the dump-site and the couple's two beautiful children. A watcher of the documentary was taken into their expectations for their two lovely girls as well as the anticipated preparation for the second girls' forthcoming birthday which shows that humanity everywhere, despite their class or finances, expects the same good qualitative life for their family? Joseph, the dotting loving father of two who assiduously worked overtime to make enough money to host his daughter's birthday and the rest as they say, is now history and those who watched it have their opinions and those who have not watched it are advised to do so, but with an open mind and not the rash patriotism with which those condemning the documentary saw it? Icheoku defers to the chairman of the dump-site scavengers union for his wisdom of Solomon, with which he saved the freshman scavenger from the northern part of Nigeria from an imminent death, when he was caught pilfering other scavengers' trove and would have been lynched. In the infinite wisdom of the chairman, the boy was asked to go and never come back and sin no more; which judgment, Icheoku hails as well considered and meritorious!

The whole rung of workers, from the foot-soldiers scavengers to the buyers to the bulk buyers who finally sell to the shippers, it is a beehive of well choreographed symmetry of activities, where individuals orderly wait for their turn. It shows that discipline is not dead in the Nigeria society but for a thuggish political class whose tragic failure to instill it within the broader society is the reason Nigeria is in comatose today. The documentary then parleys to the slaughter premises where the personality of the Fulani boy comes to light - a boy cattle-rearer who accompanied cattle to Lagos from his rural village in northern Nigeria and stayed back in Lagos - welcome to Lagos. He rose within less than ten years of his arrival to a major cattle broker and speaking five languages, four of which he learnt within the short period of time, interacting with cattle merchants and locals? This cattle broker makes 100 Naira on each head of cow he consummates its sale, and sometimes when the 'Mr Biggs' meat-contractor comes shopping can sell about 20, 000 cows in one day? For Icheoku, this Fulani cattle boy turned cattle broker is the best example there is of the 'Lagos Dream' - a progressive rising through honest decent work and enterprise among these class of decent and honest Nigerians.

It is equally instructive that despite the crime wave in Nigeria that those armed robbers avoid the cattle market like a plague, fully aware the fate that will befall them should they stray into the market; and hundreds of millions of Naira exchange hands there daily. Nigerians' infatuation with European soccer was equally obvious as people debated and made bets on Arsenal and Manchester United football clubs and their chances with the European championship. We were also introduced to Eric, the cow-blood processor, who gathers cow blood and cooks them until they become solids which he in turn sells to fertilizer and animal feeds producers? It is instructive to note that prior to the agriculture (animal science) graduate arriving to the abattoir and cornering this niche of business for himself, that such cow blood were spilled into the grounds as waste and later hosed away into the drainage; which showcases the enterprising spirit of the average Nigerian Joe, if only they would have some motivating political leaders to bring the best out of their ever fertile minds. Icheoku highly recommends this documentary, "Welcome to Lagos" as a standing-up tall for Nigerians gig, and which shows that not every one of them are thieves, criminals and 419 operative. Nigerians should watch the documentary with their heads high and be proud of what it showed - the spirit of human enterprise from nothing to something!

As Mike Rowe of America's hit show, 'Dirty Job' would say, it is a dirty job and someone gonna do it in order to make city-living, livable? The last time Icheoku checked, recycling is in and one of the medicine 'Doctor Environment' ordered and prescribed for mankind's ailing global warming. These dump-site dwellers/workers have answered the call to recycle and whoever says anything to the contrary is mistaken and not really attuned with what is current. Icheoku advises that the government of Lagos State and Nigeria, instead of agitating that BBC did a documentary on some honest Nigerians earning honest living, should find a way to harmonize the operations of these dump-site recyclers and help them work in a better mechanized environment? The government should help develop the facility and explore harnessing green energy therefrom, as methane gas are abundant in such places which is the root cause of the frequent fire which starts therein. The government could also invest in the recycle by building a recycling plant to process these scavenged items into reusable materials; and also convert the organics among them into fertilizer and composts?

But should the government, because of cheap oil money not be interested in harnessing what is abundant in the dump-site, they can at least help these dump-site workers work in a better environment - build convey belts, storage bins, transportation and dwelling shacks with plumbing and electricity to enable the dump-site workers and dwellers operate in a more livable environment? But Icheoku strongly recommend that government explore the gold-mine that is dump-site instead of allowing Indians and Lebanese to poach these product which they buy for peanuts and ship them overseas where they make a kill? Metals, copper, aluminum, silver etc could all be melted back and reconfigured back into unending uses; and so also are paper materials that could be turned back to reusable paper products; while green energy could be harnessed from the abundant methane gas and fertilizer from the compost-ible materials?

But nay, the government are busy protesting that their dirty backyard was showed to the world and that such a searchlight was unbecoming of a "colonialist" news media? Icheoku says, really? In conclusion, Icheoku recites the song of the excited father planning a birthday party for his daughter:- "I will dance like a genie; I will dance like the Indian; Patience happy birthday, my daughter!" What a very good documentary for Nigeria, 'Welcome to Lagos' is for any country that knows how to exploit a given situation? A country that is better known for its criminality of 419, fraudsters and corrupt polity, where elections are hijacked by a lawless class of brigands masquerading as political leaders had such a God given opportunity thrown at their doorstep by the BBC documentary; and they are busily distracted, casting aspersions on the BBC?

A good dynamic leadership would have converted the situation into a positive to show that Nigerians are fully engaged in green initiative of recycling; and that many Nigerians are decent and honest people who make honest wages. That admitted the government is slow in joining this initiative and have not fully recognised and invested in the dump-site yet, they will get to it? That Nigeria is not the only country in the world with such bottom-feeders on the totem pole of the society, taking Ward 9 New Orleans courtesy of Hurricane Katrina into advisement.

Overall, 'Welcome to Lagos' was a good documentary; at least for a change of discourse on who an average Joe-Nigerian is - not necessarily a 419 operative or a drug-courier but honest green recycling hard-worker? Moreover, the documentary specifically stated its focus was on a dump-site and not the entire city or state of Lagos or Nigeria, as was being portrayed by those alarmist politicians seeking cheap publicity? Icheoku was lost in their crying of wolf - whether their beef with BBC is that the situation does not exist or that it should not have been exposed; or simply an attempt to sanction and censure what the BBC can run or not run? But unknown to these politicians who have shut down every attempt at enacting the freedom of information act in Nigeria, the BBC as well as majority of foreign media enjoy unlimited liberty with what they take to the air; and the Lord of manor at Aso Rock's approval does not have to be first sought and received? Either case, Icheoku calls on the government and its vain-glorious politicians to just get over it and face the business of solving the myriad of problems bedevilling the Nigerians society chief among which are power, security and good roads! Get it Nigerian political leaders?