NO PENSION FOR COUP PLOTTERS!

Bravo, Nigeria's Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission for concluding that there will be no pension for all the military adventurists whose lackluster inept regimes caused Nigeria's stunted growth since her independence in 1960. Your basis and reasons were well founded and Icheoku applauds you for the courage brought to bear on this very important statement on the illegality of military intervention in politics! Also it will serve as a lesson to all other would-be military adventurists that their place is in the barracks and not in government.

Yakubu Gowon, Muhammadu Buhari, Olusegun Obasanjo, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida and Abdulsalam Abubarkar are brigands who do not deserve any compensation for having imposed themselves on Nigeria willy-nilly and collectively for so many years. A decision cannot be more goal-directed and productive than this. If this is what it takes to finally and permanently put the excesses of the military in Nigeria in check, so be it and Icheoku gives it 100% support and approval.

The RMAFC chairman, Alhaji Hamman Tukur, is a brave and courageous Nigerian and Nigerians should applaud this decision into-to. Also these juntas have their primary military constituency to draw pension from, according to the chairman's reasoning and this is equally a very sound conclusion. To this Icheoku says, Aremu Olusegun Obasanjo should also be denied any pension and gratuities for plunging Nigeria to the lowest ebb of existence and for his dishonourable, atrocious signing of Bakassi away to the Cameroons. Olusegun Obasanjo is a very bad man - a devil's incarnate!

CONGRATULATIONS NIGERIA!

It is not just doom and gloom that Icheoku is all about; no, when something uplifting happens -whenever there is something to celebrate in a country which has disappointed on so many expectations of many of her country men and women since her independence in 1960, we accord it the same attention! Today in far away Beijing at the Olympics, there is cause-celebre for Nigerians and Icheoku joins the teaming millions others in saying Congratulations Nigeria Men's Soccer (football) Team for your win over United States of America!

Nigeria's captain Promise Isaac and Victor Obinna scored Nigeria's two goals respectively, while Sacha Kljestan gave the United States of America her only goal with an 88th-minute penalty kick. It was a 2-1 win over the United States who played with only ten men for 86 minutes of the 90 minutes game. There was an early minute red card by referee Wolfgang Stark following left back Michael Orozco's elbow on a Nigerian while jostling for position.

Icheoku says that it was a game and in the spirit of sportsmanship, both sides understands the result in good faith! Once again, Congratulations, Nigeria Men's Olympic Soccer Team!

KUWAIT, BY SOME TOURISTS!

Kuwait is country in the northeast Arabian Peninsula at the head of the Persian Gulf. It was settled by Arab tribes in the early 18th century, later became a British protectorate in 1897 and later an independent kingdom in 1961. Its population is overwhelmingly Arab and its languages includes Arabic (official), Persian, and English; their official religion is Islam and unit of currency is Kuwaiti dinar.

The nomadic 'Anizah tribe of central Arabia founded Kuwait city in 1710, and 'Abd al-Rahim of the Sabah dynasty became sheikh in 1756; the family continues to rule Kuwait. Kuwait is a constitutional emirate with an area of 6,177 sq mi (16,000 sq km), located in the North Eastern corner of the Arabian peninsula, at the head of the Persian Gulf. Kuwait is bounded by Saudi Arabia on the south and by Iraq on the north and west. The capital is Al-Kuwait or Kuwait which has been transformed into a modern city.

Kuwait is a low, sandy region that is generally barren and sparsely settled. It has a warm climate, dry inland and humid along the coast. The population is about 80% Arab; however, somewhat more than half the population are non-Kuwaitis. Native Kuwaitis have an extremely high per capita income, pay no taxes, and enjoy numerous social services. Since the development of the oil industry, large numbers of foreigners have found employment in Kuwait; non-Kuwaitis represent about 80% of the labor force. Foreign ethnic groups include South Asians, Iranians, and others. Arabic is the official language, but English is widely spoken. Some 85% of the population is Muslim, with about twice as many Sunnis as Shiites. There are Christian, Hindu, and Parsi minorities.

According to my tourists friends, Kuwait has a population of about three million people, two million of them are foreigners who run the country on behalf of native Kuwaitis. The international dialing code for Kuwait is: 965 ! Let me know you saw this as promised!

FROM RUSSIA, WITH NO LOVE!

And Georgia wrote a check they cannot cash! When the orders to invade their separating neighbour, South Ossetia was made, little did they know that the almighty red army from their northern neighbour, Russia will roll down their tanks to kick some butts. It was a historical misjudgment on the part of the policy wonks at Tbilisi, to think that Russia will let them have their way in South Ossetia, unanswered. A school of political science would have added, and why didn't Russia crush Georgia's separation from the former old Soviet Union if invasion is the proper means of securing back a disgruntled break-away region like South Ossetia? It was just three days after Georgia launched a military assault aimed at reclaiming the breakaway province of South Ossetia, that a bellicose Russia is defending the province with artillery and bombing campaign it began against Georgia in response.

Anyway as the entire world tries to pull back the now awakened sleeping bear - a former world super power, let the other little guys around the world take a lesson in what is unfolding in the Baltic State and learn how not to poke a stick in the eyes of a giant. Also let the big guys take a cue on how not to be a firepower-bully from America's stance with Cuba - America who could easily have crushed Cuba if it wanted but tolerated both countries co-existence within just 90 miles from each other despite all the sabre rattlings cum provocations. The people at Washington chose to wait Fidel Castro out and they are succeeding. Russia and China, this might be the way to go against little neighbours of yours; after-all don't you already have enough mouths to worry about, why desire some more? It is mutual reciprocity that is the only meaningful key to peace on earth. Luckily, the other possible flash-point, Taiwan has recently toned down their rhetoric against mainland China and there is presently, a relative calm on the strait of Taiwan - the little pond separating Taiwan from China.

Hopefully the world will be able to persuade the Russians to pull back their charging tanks and allow Georgia to be and try to put back what has been decimated. Icheoku says did the people at the helm of affairs in Tbilisi consult Washington before embarking on their misguided provocation of the Russians? Also did somebody somewhere assure them that the Russians will not come charging down with their tanks to crush such mis-adventure? Remember France's Chirac gave similar assurance to the then mad man of Baghdad, "Sad man Insane" that Americans will not attack his country! Men with power as well as countries with power will always have their way; so little guys deploy your brains instead of your Lilliput army which will never be a match against the heavy hitters, which unfortunately still includes Russia; this is a beginners class in diplomacy 101!

Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili said Sunday his troops were retreating against Russia's superior firepower; to which Icheoku says, you should have known that before sending your army up north to the "breaking-away" South Ossetia. Georgia, you should have been fully seized of the fact that South Ossetia was a bait which Russia was waiting for you to bite with your botched invasion, before charging south to teach you a lesson in how to be a submissive neighbour.Possibly the men of power of this world including America's President Bush, European Union's President Sarkozy, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and Russian other ceremonial President Medvedev, (depending on who is in-charge in Russia) will see reason to amicably settle what may turn into a major world showdown. Icheoku prays that some bloated egos are bottled up quickly enough in the interest of peace; otherwise the developing crisis in the Balkans may force a global conflict of unimaginable proportion. Believing that Russia will be persuaded to cease and desist from further attacks on Georgia, Georgia's Mikhail Saakashvili and the Russia puppet at South Ossetia, Eduard Kokoity should please take some civics lesson and be smart by half; in the future, please avoid kindling a fire that might turn into an inferno and eventually consume your sorry little asses! Next time both of you may not be this lucky, Icheoku says!

AS WE MOURN!

Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, both dead the same weekend; does anybody out there still need proof of the vanity of life? Both icons just gone and forever; all their fame and wealth not enough to ward off their deaths? According to the reports, Bernie Mac was fanatically pleading with doctors treating him not to let him die as he does not want to die. Regrettably, he forgot that doctors do not create life and hence cannot stop its taking! Bernie Mac died Saturday August 9th, 2008 at the age of 50years from complications of pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital. Bernie Mac, prior to contracting the pneumonia infection that eventually killed him, suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body’s organs.

A day after Bernie Mac died, another black entertainment icon Isaac Hayes aka Black Moses also died, August 10th 2008, at age 65years in Memphis, Tennessee. Relatives found his unconscious body in his home next to a still-running treadmill suggestive that he may have died following a work-out from possibly a pulmonary embolism (heart-attack) or of a stroke of the brain related causes; an autopsy will eventually reveal the cause of death. Arriving paramedics tried in vain to revive him through CPR (cardiac pulmonary resuscitation aka mouth to mouth) and later took him to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead shortly after 2 p.m. Isaac Hayes embodied everything that is soul music, blazing into the scene forcefully with a theme song for the 1971 movie "Shaft" titled "Theme from Shaft," which made him an instant pop music's icon.

Anyway the world, especially the black American community will miss both men sorely! As we mourn both deaths - Bernie for being such a terrific comedian and Isaac for giving the world plenty of soul riveting ballads, Icheoku says rest in peace both of you- your journey of life has now come a full circle. Adieu!

THE HIT LIST - our incredible but true story series: Serie 4!

1. Meet an 11 eleven year old husband!

An eleven year old boy is scheduled to be married to his ten year old niece in Saudi Arabia province of Hail. Ten year old Mohammed al-Rashidi and his unidentified cousin will seal the marriage they contracted under the sharia laws of Islam and move in together after a ceremony to take place in the summer, Al-Shams newspaper said.
“I am ready for this marriage. It will help me study better,” Mohammed, who goes to primary school in the northern province of Hail, was quoted as saying by Al-Shams.

2. Too fat to be killed?

A death row inmate scheduled for execution says he's too fat to be put to death, claiming executioners would have trouble finding his veins and that his weight could diminish the effectiveness of one of the lethal injection drugs.

Mr. Richard Cooney (pictured here) is awaiting death by lethal injection but has told the State that he considers himself too fat to be executed. According to him, finding his vein to administer the intravenous lethal injection will be a daunting challenge for the executioners and therefor called on the State of Ohio to halt his execution. Icheoku says may be a bullet through the heart can do the magic! Also a super-sized needle with the help of an MRI machine can help deliver the fatal dose.

3.Nigeria is in real trouble!

The former boss of EFCC Mallam Nuhu Ribadu has been demoted from his AIG rank to an "ordinary" ACP based on alleged frog-jumped promotion. However the weakling Nigeria has for a President, Umaru Yar'Adua failed to tell Nigeria why the IG Okilo himself was not demoted alongside, after-all he too was bumped up ahead of AIG Ogbonnaya Onovo to head the police force! Icheoku says that this is vendetta at the rock bottom. This is why there is no patriotic Nigerians anymore as the good among them are usually humiliated at the end of the day. Icheoku is not a fan of Ribadu for shielding Olusegun Obasanjo from prosecution but at least he tried to put the fear of EFCC in many a Nigerian thieves. This development finally confirms that the illegitimate government of sickly Umaru Yar'Adua has been hijacked by some very corrupt and contemptible people, but who heads the cabal running affairs from Aso Rock is yet to be determined

4. Killer gets 110 years jail time!

A California court has sentenced a convict to stay behind bars until he turns 93 years. A long term behind bars is in store for Manuel Enraine Moreno, an East Palo Alto man convicted by a jury of premeditated attempted murder for a gang-related shooting of a teen pedestrian in Menlo Park in March 2007.
Judge John Grandsaert of the San Mateo County Superior Court sentenced Mr. Moreno, 27, on Friday, Aug. 1, to 110 years to life in state prison, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe in an Aug. 4 report. A killer Mr. Manuel Enraine Moreno was given a hundred and ten year sentence for shooting an unarmed fellow. Before the trial the presiding judge has offered the accused some fewer years of sentence, during a botched plea deal but which the accused rejected and elected full trial. However, the verdict did not go in his favor and being a candidate for California's three strike law, he got the book thrown at him and will only be eligible for release at the very ripe old age of 93years! What a term?

5. Can you watch someone else make love to your wife?

At 74 Otis Street San Francisco that is exactly the business they are engaged in! Sound weird? May be, but you can still visit just to watch other couples swap spouses at a higher cover charge of close to $75 bucks. On entry you will check in your clothes and will be given a towel/blanket and chaperoned to the party central where so many people are grooving and gyrating to good rhythm. If you chose to have your clothes on and just watch, it is ok!; but you have to pay a penalty above what every other people are paying. San Frisco? You trade spouses at Power Exchange or you can chose to remain conservative to still make love just to your spouse; but in the open and full view of other participating horny copulating parties! The Power Exchange as an adult sexual play space, is the place to experience public sex adventure or expand your experience in sexuality! Sounds Splendid? Icheoku says "I don't think so" especially if you are atypical anti-sexual-fantasies conservative African!

PLEASE DO NOT CEDE BAKASSI!

An S.O.S. letter to the authorities in Aso Rock!

For heaven's sake and for all that holds Nigeria together, please do not force your brothers and sisters of Bakassi origin into an untoward slavery in the Cameroons. Where is the plebiscite of their intention to abscond from Nigeria and move over to Cameroon? August 14th 2008 is fast approaching and the presidency is threatening to carry through their so call Green Tea agreement with the Cameroon and yield Bakassi to them. All world's precedents are opposed to the position of Aso Rock and why force someone who wants to stay in the nation out of the nation; whereas Nigeria resisted the desire by Biafra to go their own way? Is it double standards or what? Why is nobody mentioning the pact between Gowon's government and Cameroon to help them during the Biafran -Nigerian civil war to blockade Biafra into submission? In exchange Cameroon was offered Bakassi as a gift for their conspiratory collaboration. Why has no pundit or writer ever discussed the impact or lack thereof of the minority judgment of Honorable Abdul Koroma, the African Judge on the bench of ICJ from Senegal? Why can't Aso Rock tell the world that the action is against public opinion of the Nigerian people? Such ICJ's judgment can be shut down by a willing patriotic Nigerian president based on the feelings of the Nigerian people.

According to the referenced Judge Abdul Koroma minority decision, the conclusion reached by the Court with respect to the 1884 Treaty between Great Britain and the Kings and Chiefs of Old Calabar regarding the Bakassi Peninsula is tantamount to a recognition of political reality rather than to an application of the treaty and the relevant legal principles. In my view, it is not the function of the Court to recognize or consecrate political reality but rather to apply the law in ruling on disputes before it. In my view, the approaches taken by the Court to reach its conclusions on these two issues are both fundamentally flawed.The main purpose of applying the law is to do justice and where the law is not correctly applied it could lead to an injustice. It is principally because of my disagreement with the conclusions and findings of the Court regarding these two issues that 1 have decided to exercise the faculty to enter this dissenting opinion as provided for by the Statute.
There is, therefore, no legal basis on which to hold, as the Court has done in this case, that the protector State was entitled to cede terri­tory without the consent and in breach of the protective agreement, by stating that "from the outset Britain regarded itself as administering the territories comprised in the 1884 Treaty, and not just protecting them" (para. 207) or that under the law prevalent at the time (in 1913) Great Britain was entitled "to determine its boundaries" (para. 209), even when this affected the territory of a protected State without its consent and inconsistent with the provisions of the relevant Treaty.

Icheoku says that Aso Rock should have a change of mind and consider what is in the best interest of Nigeria and not sacrifice her territorial integrity on the alter of appeasing the international community.

OCCULTIC NIGERIAN LEADERS?

And you are wondering why Nigeria is stunted when this man is a representative of the kind of men that preside over its affairs! Nigeria Saturday Sun Newspapers is reporting that about one billion Naira ($100,000.00) was invested in a voodoo (juju) project by a Nigerian government official and this is in a country where more than 80 percent of the population lives below abject poverty line (on less that 50 cent a day). At the centre of the storm is Mr. Sam Edem (pictured here right) a former diplomat and chairman of the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC), an agency responsible for Niger Delta. What manner of man would engage in juju in this day and age of IPhone and Ipod, with men living in Space Stations? Addressing newsmen in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State on Monday, August 4, Mr. Edem admitted that a medicine man collected money running into hundreds of millions of Naira from him. And in a handwritten statement to the police, Mr. Sam Edem volunteered that the amount of money the "fraudster" collected from him was about N800 million Naira".
But the medicine man claimed that it was payment for a job he did for Mr. Sam Edem and by him. According to his statement to the police, the medicine man claimed that Mr. Sam Edem contracted him to eliminate or incapacitate, by diabolical means, Mr. Timi Alaibe, Managing Director of NDDC and Governor Godswill Akpabio of Akwa-Ibom State as well as “work on the Vice President, Jonathan Goodluck (so that he can always obey him (Edem) and always support him if there is any plan to remove him from office)”. Continuing the medicine man said,that the petitioner used his own hands to burn the sum of two hundred and seventy million Naira while naked in a cemetery in Port Harcourt as part of the ritual. Based on the seriousness of the task he asked me to perform, I charged him N570 million wherein he paid N310 million deposit leaving a balance of N260 million. But after the expiration of the period within which the said Timi Alaibe was to die, the petitioner came to ask why the charm did not work and I told him that his (Alaibe’s) spirit is too strong. On Governor Akpabio, Mr. Edem demanded a charm of influence which I prepared for him. I told him clearly to use the charm to touch Akpabio’s drink after which he should use it to touch the ground. Th charm affected the governor adversely that he was flown abroad for treatment. Being afraid that the governor may die, Mr. Edem came back for me to dilute the spell for which I charged him extra 50 fifty million Naira to secure the governor's life, which he gladly paid.

Denying the allegations, Mr. Edem retorted, the whole thing has a lot to do with 2011, which

they think I will contest the gubernatorial election. But I had told the governor that I will be one of those to lead him back to the government house in 2011. I will be a fool to try to destroy the governor whom I helped to bring to power. I don’t believe in pull-down syndrome. Akwa Ibom should rise as a group and condemn this syndrome. There is a campaign of calumny to smear my name. I can’t start now at 58 to plan killing somebody.”

Many people in Nigeria are outraged and scandalized that at this age, the country's leaders remain avid patrons of juju practitioners. Government by jujumen in Nigeria is the rock-bottom of a society dangerously accelerating towards a precipice. Not too long ago, Nigerians were treated to a macabre drama when the then godfather of Anambra State politics, Chris Uba told a bewildered nation that pursuant to making Dr. Chris Ngige governor of the state, the governor took an oath of loyalty at the notorious Okija shrine in Ihiala, Anambra State. Also a photograph showing the present
governor of Abia State, Theodore Orji in a fetish mode (here left pictured) going through power rituals in a shrine is equally instructive of the abysmal crass leadership Nigerians are punished with. One commentator said that the juju saga is a sad commentary on the country’s leadership-content. Continuing, it is indeed a great tragedy that in this 21st century where contest of ideas make the difference, those occupying offices in this part of the world still pander to the queer and mundane. It is even more confounding when you consider the fact that many of the juju patrons are "educated" people, "enlightened" people who ought to know better. To which Icheoku asks what manner of primitive leaders do Nigerians have in their country?

According to reports reaching Icheoku.com, the Federal Governmentt has directed the police and the EFCC to thoroughly investigate how the NDDC chairman, Mr. Sam Edem made the kind of money he allegedly lost to the sorcerer. It was gathered that the Presidency reasoned that if Edem could spend such amount, it means he has much more money than that while the people of the Niger Delta are wallowing in abject penury which feeds the militancy.

JOHN EDWARDS, VIVA VIAGRA!

Mr Pretty Face, $400 a piece haircut Senator John Edwards has finally come around to admit what the National Inquirer has been strung on for so many months now. According to his admission, he had an affair in 2006 with his campaign staffer while his wife of so many years was battling cancer. Just like we posited during the "I did not have sex with that woman, Ms Lewinsky" episode with Bill that the only victim was Hilary; Icheoku emphatically says that the only wronged party in this disclosure is John Edwards' wife Elizabeth, who is fighting for her life against incurable breast cancer. However as a media outlet, Icheoku owes its teeming visitors a duty to inform them on political and social developments and therefore must fulfil this duty accordingly:- Senator John Edwards had an affair!

His paramour, 43 year old New Yorker Ms. Rielle Hunter, pictured here right was a video segment producer, former employee of John Edwards' campaign; and travelled around with him during his aborted primaries campaign for United States of America presidency. Like Monica Lewinsky who "confided" in Linda Tripp, Ms. Hunter also confided in "a close friend" that she was pregnant for Senator John Edwards, which baby she has since delivered.

It will be recalled that John Edwards previously tried every antic under the sun to deny that a relationship existed between him and the home-wrecker Rielle; including outright flat denial, dismissive stare-downs, defensive stone-walling and evasive responses to the allegation. It will also be recalled that John Edwards most recently, also tried to shake off National Inquirer journalists at Beverly Hills Hilton Hotels after sneaking up to his lovers' hotel room to see his alleged love-child. But his private affairs should remain his private concern for he and Elizabeth to deal with; but everybody is thankful he was not elected president otherwise the "blue dress" would have become "purple"! Icheoku says that now that Mr. Handsome has come clean, it is time to move on and leave the rest of the detail for his sick wife to deal with. But was it unconscionable, considering that his wife was waging a war of her life against cancer while he was "getting some"? But he is a virile handsome man and he did not want to bother his sick wife! May be he was just a very caring and considerate, but unfortunate husband of "christian marriage"?