DESTROYING YOUR MARRIAGE, THE EASY WAY - KATELYN CARMEN

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  When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else's well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.
  Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don't let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.
  Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage (as a caveat, please understand that although this article is directed toward women, it applies to men as well):

• 1. Living outside of what you can afford

  A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: "The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband's means."
  Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.
  Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt on your credit card is a poor way of saying "thank you" to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.
  Yes, you may not have enough to buy that Kate Spade bag you've had your eyes on for months, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

• 2. Constant negativity

  You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that's crossed your mind throughout the day.
  Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.
  If there is one thing I've learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy. It's okay to have a bad day once in a while, that's totally understandable, but don't make it a way of life.

• 3. Putting everything else first

  When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?
  Put your husband first.
  Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you'd be amazed to find that it's often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because they neglect to care and love one another and put each other first.
  If you choose to put each other first, you will find a lot of joy.

• 4. Withholding physical affection

  Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them.
  Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.
  It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you -- and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it's worth it to give in (when you can) and spend that time bonding.

• 5. Not speaking his language

  Women love to drop hints. (I think it's part of our DNA.) But men just don't get them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.)
  Don't waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don't bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what's wrong, don't respond with "nothing" and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

JAY-Z AND BEYONCE DENIED, TOLD NOT JUST YET?

Icheoku says never estimate your self worth until compared with other people similarly situated with you. Jay-Z and Beyonce just learnt the lesson, the hard way, when they nearly closed on a home only to be stopped by a man who had more to offer than they were willing to pony up. 35 years old billionaire Minecraft founder, Markus Persson, made them to understand that their money is still just in the millions; and since he has more money than them, has earned the right of first refusal to a Los Angeles mansion on the hill, originally valued at $85 million but which sold for $70 million. 

Icheoku says moral of the story, never think too much of your worth or importance until someone else with much bigger ego comes barreling down your way to cut you to size. When so many are wishing to be have the amount of money the couple have their names and signatures to, here comes a man who has more money and was ready to make it work for him by splashing same on something that caught his attention. 

So in this life, learn to be content with what you can afford and never wish to be someone else or go to too great a pain to yourself just for no reason. Imagine Jay-Z and Bey being priced out of a property; their hands literally prized open to snatch it. A property which their riches could not afford to buy and you wonder what is their worth afterall or whether Chris Rock was right when he summarized that some people are rich while some others are wealthy, a case now once again proved right by this development.

I BEFRIENDED MY HUSBAND'S MISTRESS - ERIN SILVER

Icheoku says that was bold and courageous, but would you? Although  many other women would have approached the issue differently,  including an acid bath or a .45 caliber shot, but she chose to be modern and civilized about a matter which had since left her control. Anyway, to each his or her own of solving problems. Happy reading.

"My heart was galloping inside my chest. It made sense, considering what I was about to do. Any minute now, she would walk through the doors, and I would finally come face-to-face with the woman who had trotted off into the sunset with my husband, making me a single mother to my two little boys.

Two years earlier, I’d learned about her existence in a private investigator’s report. I remember staring at her black-and-white image, too shell-shocked to cry. She was photographed walking toward my husband’s hotel room door, overnight bag in hand, a pillow tucked under her arm.

“Don’t you know that hotels have pillows?” I’d wanted to shout, but it was pointless. I had to swallow my pride and move on.

My husband didn’t make it easy. A few days after I’d seen the report, he confessed to his year-long affair and asked me to give our marriage another try. “I made a mistake,” he said. “I’ll come home earlier from now on, we’ll have dinner together, we can be a family.”

My gut told me this was all wrong; that if he really loved me, he would never have had an affair in the first place. I felt beaten and betrayed, unloved and unloveable, but I knew I deserved better. Divorce was our only option.

After Everything Changed

I spent the next two years moving through a variety of stages — grief, despair, anger and sadness. But I was determined to get stronger, to turn my life around. My boys were only two and three at the time of my separation; if they were going to have a chance of being spared the ill-effects of divorce, they needed a happy mom. I began seeing a therapist, exercising, and wearing better clothes. I traveled with my boys, figured out my finances, found a lawyer, dated, and then I met someone whom I knew would never lie to me or treat me poorly.

By now, my ex and his mistress-turned-girlfriend were living together, and my kids were spending time with her. She bought them toys and clothes; she vacationed with them. They came home with stories of how she said “booger” with an “ooo” sound instead of the softer “uh.” I responded, “That’s so funny!”

But inside I hated her. I hated her for laying eyes on my husband in the first place; for not giving a shit if he was married with kids; for keeping him out until 6 a.m. while I was home, helpless and hysterical; for making me a single mother; for changing the course of my children’s lives and breaking our family unit.

I was left to wonder: Was she thinner than me? Prettier? What did she have or know or do that I didn’t? I’d avoided meeting her for a million reasons. How would it feel when I looked her in the eye? Was I strong enough to shake her hand? Would I scream at her? Slap her? Thank her for taking a cheating husband off my hands?

All I knew was that somehow I needed closure. Then one day, I was in a 40-day personal growth course at my yoga studio, which was like a big group therapy session. When everybody went around and state what we hoped to accomplish during the course (lose weight, accept themselves, be kinder to a spouse, etc.), I knew what I had to say. I’d put it off, but the time had come. To truly move forward in my life, to shake off my past like a dog shakes the rain, I needed to meet the woman at the center of it all.

Everyone clapped for me when I was done sharing and I felt like the biggest loser, but after that I had no choice. They were holding me accountable. I had to meet her, and it was truly the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.

The Big Showdown

Yet now, as I waited for her at Starbucks, my heart hammering in my chest, I was scared. She was older than me, yes, but she didn’t have kids, which meant her boobs probably didn’t sag, even without a bra. Her stomach was probably flat and unscarred, unlike mine. After two C-sections, the jagged line from one hip bone to the other had faded, but not disappeared. I bet she liked to wear high heels even during the day. I looked down at my running shoes, and my thoughts swirled out of control. I was transported to the times my ex-husband disappeared on weeklong work trips or business dinners every other night of the week. The feelings I’d tried so hard to overcome surged back, feelings of being unwanted, unloved, and unloveable.

I wiped the palms of my hands along the sides of my workout pants. Up and down. Up and down. “Breathe, Erin. Breathe,” I coached myself. “In and out. In and out. It’s all you need to do.”

I heard the blood pulsing. Felt the thumping of my heart. I pushed my tongue up hard against the roof of my mouth, a I trick I learned recently in an assertiveness-training course. I pushed harder until my throat hurt.

“I got this,” I told myself. “Scared is good. It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.”

I opened the plastic lid of my chai tea and inhaled the sweet and spicy aroma of cinnamon and cardamom. I could feel my heart rate start to steady. When I looked up, she was standing a table length away. I knew instinctively it was her. I looked directly into her green eyes, stuck out my hand and smiled. In an instant, I’d taken in all the details: her full smile, shiny dark hair, and perfect white-manicured nails. She was wearing a toque, plaid shirt and skinny jeans tucked into motorcycle boots. After a tumultuous two years of exhausting divorce negotiations and mounting lawyer bills, countless therapy sessions, and the pressures of having to forge a new life as a dating-working-single mother to two boys, I was face-to-face with my arch nemesis.

That’s when I surprised myself.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my kids when they are with their dad,” I told her warmly. “I know my boys can be a handful, and I’m happy you’re there to help.”

These words flowed from my mouth unexpectedly, and I realized I’d meant them. Wouldn’t it be better to have four eyes watching my kids instead of two, four hands to keep my boys safe? I had built her up in my mind. I blamed her for clawing away at my self-worth, but what did I have to gain by being angry or continuing to point fingers? I wanted to let it go. To wash my anger off my skin.

I realized in that instant that they were a better fit for each other, too. My boyfriend and I revolve around our families and our kids; we love dinners at home and spending weekends and vacations together. My ex and his girlfriend enjoy fancy vacations and expensive clothes. We just have different lifestyles and priorities. I decided to forgive her and finally be at peace with myself. The hatred burst into nothingness, just like a balloon. I had at last come to terms with my divorce.

The next day, I drove to the department of motor vehicles, filled out the name change forms, and waited for my number to be called. My hands fumbled the pen, and they shook as I signed my original signature for the first time in 10 years. Then I took my wedding bands — two beautiful diamond eternity bands — to a jeweler and traded them in for a pair of diamond earrings without thinking twice.

Since that day in Starbucks, I’ve chosen to befriend her in a way. I always include her at my children’s birthday parties; I’ve invited her into my house, and I’ve been to hers. We are friendly when we chat — we talk about Lululemon, the kids, working out, and so on. She helped my boys pick out an engraved Tiffany’s necklace for me Valentine’s Day last year, and she helped my youngest son make me a painting. This past summer, I got my boys a puppy, but when the responsibility became too much, we gave it to her parents, complete with all his toys, food and vaccinations. She makes sure my kids still get to see their beloved dog.

We are not a big, happy family, and we certainly don’t double date. We came together by odd and unfortunate circumstances. But now, I realize, at least, that we are all on the same team.

HILLARY CLINTON'S PRESIDENCY, ICHEOKU NOT ENTHUSED.

Icheoku says the truth of the matter is that America is still much a chauvinistic masochistic  male society which is not ready for the headship of a woman as president of America. The time is not yet come and Hillary Clinton will not be that first female president. Donald Trump was right and Donald Trump spoke the truth when he said that Hillary Clinton was shellacked or "schlonged" by Barack Obama despite the great expectation that she was going to wipe the ground with the boy, who according to her husband Bill Clinton, would ordinarily be making and serving them tea just a few short years ago? Just the last time's Hillary Clinton's bathroom overstay, what if America was under attack as evidenced during 9/11 when then President GW Bush was caught aloof, reading to some school kids, would her reason for not timely responding be because her bathroom took a little longer? 

America's presidency should not be so trivialized into a woman-deference and man-requirement affair. Both sexes should be ready to answer the proverbial red-phone timely, irrespective of any peculiar needs or bathroom circumstances. Therefore, Icheoku says and channeling Donald Trump that the American presidency should not be a battle of the sexes and cannot and should not be predicated on the sex of the candidate; neither should concessions be made to a particular candidate for election simply because her biological anatomy is somewhat different. and requires longer bathroom stay? Regardless, the 2008 election campaign where Obama "schlonged" Hillary is still very fresh in memory and Hillary Clinton has not improved her chances of ever being crowned American president since then. 

That being said and since Barack Obama is not running again, Icheoku makes bold to state that Hillary Clinton will not be elected president of America, not in this 2016 and not at any future time. Nobody really truly likes her as her personality and perception suck big time. But for the rubbed off affection which transferred from her husband Bill to her and she knows this, the reason she has not yet divorced him waiting to ride his love by the people into the White House, she will have no love at all. Her presidency will not happen as Americans have watched and seem through her facade and their opinion about her and disposition towards her has not changed. She turns political trick each time and every time, depending on what is convenient and what makes a good talking point. Icheoku's lack of interest for Hillary Clinton dates back a long time ago; she comes across as a too calculating feminist, who can say and do anything just to secure an advantage. 

It is likely that Bill Clinton is not even happy with her and is only putting up appearance of loving her just for political expediency? Otherwise why all his philandering with other women including Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky etc. Any man who is at home and in love with his woman does not necessarily go astray chasing other skirts except he does not get any or enough or simply tired and done. 

Anyway, many Americans will not be voting for Hillary. Icheoku says that many men who are married and who finds it extremely difficult relating to their overbearing wives would not vote for Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton might not even vote for Hillary Clinton himself. Many very jealous women, who are always engaged in catfights with each other, will not vote for Hillary Clinton. Then of course, majority of good old white boys of America will not have themselves submit to the dictates of a woman in their White House. Then added to blacks and Hispanics and other minorities of America who would be wondering whether to still pull the trigger for another minority female after the other minority black Barack Obama did not seem to have had way with things beneficial to the minorities of America. 

Icheoku says unfortunately but true, it is time for the good ole white boys to take back their White House and in order to see if things could simmer down a little bit. Tension has been rising in the country since 2008 leading to a lot of lack of collective policy direction and so much disgruntled winnings. This virulent opposition to anything Barack Obama will continue in the unfortunate event Hillary Clinton gets elected; but it is not going to happen. Americans are tired of having a minority president and they will not elect another one; not just yet and especially not one who is a female named Hillary Clinton. Moreso, there is a Clinton fatigue in America now just like they are also tired of the  other political family that have sort of become a permanent fixture in the political firmament too. 

Icheoku says go Donald and together lets make America great again. And for those Republican leadership trying to sabotage the Donald Trump movement and derail it, you better watch out and curb your enthusiasm. The whole Republican attractiveness will peter to a stop if anything ever happens to the Donald anticipated ticket. Donald Trump is the reason for the season and Americans, Republicans and those of us Blue-dog democrats alike as well as independents will not have any other person flying the Republican ticket than Donald Trump this 2016. If the ticket is stolen from him or he is forcefully shoved aside, we all are going to say out the election and Hillary Clinton, despite all her baggage, might win by default. So let the wish of the people prevail, let the Donald run and the Donald will win and win convincingly too.

TRUMP STILL COOL, ICHEOKU STILL LEANING TRUMP

Icheoku has received back channel confirmation on why Sarah Palin visited and we are satisfied with the information. Icheoku therefore reaffirms that Donald Trump is the presidential candidate to beat this election year 2016. America is tired of the Clintons and the Bushes and now needs a completely fresh break from the politics of committee of the willing and the favored ones only. America is not a "Family-dom" or a "Family-ocracy" and so cannot continue recycling the Clinton's and the Bush's family members only. 

Donald Trump provides the verve needed by America after the Obama presidency that left much to be desired and crushed so many expectation. Like Jonathan's promise of breathe of fresh air which went burst, the Obama presidency left so many promises unfulfilled. President Barack Hussein Obama also left the black race holding the plate, including black Americans, forcing many wondering if indeed he was fertilized by an African sperm and sired by a black father. Anyway, just few months and the repair will begin; and together Americans and Donald Trump shall make America great again! And for those thinking about Hilary Clinton, those channeling their love for Bill Clinton to her, Icheoku, like Brooklyn people, says "jus-forge-t-bout-it" (just forget about it) It is not going to happen; another minority will not occupy the White House so soon after the last one and if any time soon, not one named Hillary Clinton.

OBASANJO'S 'SATANIC VERSES' IS BACK, WRITES ONE TO NATIONAL ASSEMBLY.

Icheoku says Baba Iyabo, Ota Deity, Olusegun Obasanjo has resumed his 'Satanic Verses' epistles. This time he sent one to the ladies and gentlemen of the National Assembly, accusing them of lack of transparency in the manner with which they run the affairs of the assembly. In his letter dated January 13, 2016, he berated the culture of corruption pervading both chambers, accusing them of "living in obscene opulence" while the electorates are suffering in abject poverty. (Senator Chris Ngige's country home pictured above). Olusegun Obasanjo lamented that the National Assembly has refused to change its thieving way and that they nearly impeached him as president because he wanted to institute some accountability in their affairs.   

Please find here below following, the full text of the said letter. Happy trail.

January 13, 2016

Distinguished Senator Bukola Saraki,

President of the Senate,

Federal Republic of Nigeria,

Senate Chambers,

Abuja.

Honourable Yakubu Dogara,

Speaker, House of Representatives,

National Assembly Complex,

Abuja.

It is appropriate to begin this letter, which I am sending to all members of the Senate and the House of Representatives through both of you at this auspicious and critical time, with wishes of Happy New Year to you all.

On a few occasions in the past, both in and out of office as the President of Nigeria, I have agonised on certain issues within the arms of government at the national level and among the tiers of government as well. Not least, I have reflected and expressed, outspokenly at times, my views on the practice in the National Assembly which detracts from distinguishness and honourability because it is shrouded in opaqueness and absolute lack of transparency and could not be regarded as normal, good and decent practice in a democracy that is supposed to be exemplary. I am, of course, referring to the issue of budgets and finances of the National Assembly.

The present economic situation that the country has found itself in is the climax of the steady erosion of good financial and economic management which grew from bad to worse in the last six years or so. The executive and the legislative arms of government must accept and share responsibility in this regard. And if there will be a redress of the situation as early as possible, the two arms must also bear the responsibility proportionally. The two arms ran the affairs of the country unmindful of the rainy day. The rainy day is now here. It would not work that the two arms should stand side by side with one arm pulling and without the support of the other one for good and efficient management of the economy.

The purpose of election into the Legislative Assembly particularly at the national level is to give service to the nation and not for the personal service and interest of members at the expense of the nation which seemed to have been the mentality, psychology, mindset and practice within the National Assembly since the beginning of this present democratic dispensation. Where is patriotism? Where is commitment? Where is service?

The beginning of good governance which is the responsibility of all arms and all the tiers of government is openness and transparency. It does not matter what else we try to do, as long as one arm of government shrouds its financial administration and management in opaqueness and practices rife with corruption, only very little, if anything at all, can be achieved in putting Nigeria on the path of sustainable and enduring democratic system, development and progress. Governance without transparency will be a mockery of democracy.

Let us be more direct and specific so that action can be taken where it is urgently necessary. A situation where our national budget was predicated on $38 per barrel of oil with estimated 2 million barrels per day and before the budget was presented, the price of oil had gone down to $34 per barrel and now hovering around $30 and we have no assurance of producing 2 million barrels and if we can, we have no assurance of finding market for it, definitely calls for caution. If production and price projected in the budget stand, we would have to borrow almost one third of the 6 trillion naira budget. Now beginning with the reality of the budget, there is need for sober reflection and sacrifice with innovation at the level of executive and legislative arms of government. The soberness, the sacrifice and seriousness must be patient and apparent.

It must not be seen and said that those who, as leaders, call for sacrifice from the citizenry are living in obscene opulence. It will not only be insensitive but callously so. It would seem that it is becoming a culture that election into the legislative arm of government at the national level in particular is a licence for financial misconduct and that should not be. The National Assembly now has a unique opportunity of presenting a new image of itself. It will help to strengthen, deepen, widen and sustain our democracy.

By our Constitution, the Revenue Mobilisation, Allocation and Fiscal Commission is charged with the responsibility of fixing emoluments of the three arms of government: executive, legislature and judiciary. The Commission did its job but by different disingenuous ways and devices, the legislature had overturned the recommendation of the Commission and hiked up for themselves that which they are unwilling to spell out in detail, though they would want to defend it by force of arm if necessary. What is that?

Mr. President of the Senate and Hon. Speaker of the House, you know that your emolument which the Commission had recommended for you takes care of all your legitimate requirements: basic salary, car, housing, staff, constituency allowance. Although the constituency allowance is paid to all members of the National Assembly, many of them have no constituency offices which the allowance is partly meant to cater for. And yet other allowances and payments have been added by the National Assembly for the National Assembly members’ emoluments. 

Surely, strictly speaking, it is unconstitutional. There is no valid argument for this except to see it for what it is – law-breaking and impunity by lawmakers. The lawmakers can return to the path of honour, distinguishness, sensitivity and responsibility. The National Assembly should have the courage to publish its recurrent budgets for the years 2000, 2005, 2010 and 2015. That is what transparency demands. With the number of legislators not changing, comparison can be made. Comparisons in emoluments can also be made with countries like Ghana, Kenya, Senegal and even Malaysia and Indonesia who are richer and more developed than we are.

The budget is a proposal and only an estimate of income and expenditure. Where income is inadequate, expenditure will not be made. While in government, I was threatened with impeachment by the members of the National Assembly for not releasing some money they had appropriated for themselves which were odious and for which there were no incomes to support. The recent issue of cars for legislators would fall into the same category. Whatever name it is disguised as, it is unnecessary and insensitive. A pool of a few cars for each Chamber will suffice for any Committee Chairman or members for any specific duty. The waste that has gone into cars, furniture, housing renovation in the past was mind-boggling and these were veritable sources of waste and corruption. That was why they were abolished. Bringing them back is inimical to the interest of Nigeria and Nigerians.

The way of proposing budget should be for the executive to discuss every detail of the budget, in preparation, with different Committees and sub-Committees of the National Assembly and the National Assembly to discuss its budget with the Ministry of Finance. Then, the budget should be brought together as consolidated budget and formally presented to the National Assembly, to be deliberated and debated upon and passed into law. It would then be implemented as revenues are available. Where budget proposals are extremely ambitious like the current budget and revenue sources are so uncertain, more borrowing may have to be embarked upon, almost up to 50% of the budget or the budget may be grossly unimplementable and unimplemented. 

Neither is a choice as both are bad. Management of the economy is one of the key responsibilities of the President as prescribed in the Constitution. He cannot do so if he does not have his hands on the budget. Management of the economy is shared responsibility where the Presidency has the lion share of the responsibility. But if the National Assembly becomes a cog in the wheel, the executive efforts will not yield much reward or progress. The two have to work synchronisinglytogether to provide the impetus and the conducive environment for the private sector to play its active vanguard role. Management of the budget is the first step to manage the economy. It will be interesting if the National Assembly will be honourable enough and begin the process of transparency, responsibility and realism by publishing its recurrent budgets for 2016 as it should normally be done.

Hopefully, the National Assembly will take a step back and do what is right not only in making its own budget transparent but in all matters of financial administration and management including audit of its accounts by external outside auditor from 1999 to date. This, if it is done, will bring a new dawn to democracy in Nigeria and a new and better image for the National Assembly and it will surely avoid the Presidency and the National Assembly going into face-off all the time on budgets and financial matters.

While I thank you for your patience and understanding, please accept, Dear Senate President and Honourable Speaker of the House, the assurances of my highest consideration.

OLUSEGUN OBASANJO

DONALD TUMP, HE GOT THE CAN-DO ATTITUDE.

 

Icheoku says exactly what America needs, so LETS GET IT DONE. Together lets help Donald Trump make America great again. Go DJT.

ERITREA EXCESS WOMEN INVENTORY, A GOLD-RUSH BONANZA?

FYI: the story has been discountenanced as never happened. But where there is smoke there is possibly a light source; may be the government  was forced to withdraw the plan after contemplating same.

Icheoku says it is not necessarily for lack of surplus women or their non-easy availability that compels reasonable men to just settle for one woman struggle. No, because many men would even go without but for society's expectation as well as imposition of kindreds that straight men must marry to continue the propagation rite. One woman is already more than a handful, so who wants another woman, a sort of double jeopardy hanging over his neck like the sword of damocles everyday of his life? A life which will definitely be cut short by reason of another catalyst that quickens one's exit from this earth being added. If only Adam was left alone in the Garden of Eden, possibly, men would be living for thousands of years before their departure from this earth; but with Eve came bountiful troubles, which still hounds men till date. So, what motivated a government or the people to go this direction of forcibly compelling men to take two or more wives and made its disobedience, an offense punishable with life imprisonment? 

Icheoku asks what is the fuse that ignited this men-must- marry-more-than-one-wife war being levied on the menfolks that call Eritrea home or that dwells therein? Were the women of Eritrea ever consulted before this their planned enslavement and servitude came into effect? Do the women of Eritrea have right of first refusal to say no to becoming a second or third or fourth wife to a man who might be too old or simply old enough to be their grandfather? Do the women of Eritrea have their rights reserved to remain single if their preferred suitor failed to show up at their door asking for their hands in marriage? Can a second or such other tiered wife be allowed to walk away or seek divorce from her second rate status if it is no longer acceptable or working out fine for her? Can an abandoned first wife sue the husband for denial of matrimonial duties, support and other obligations, because the husband has transferred all his affection and support to the new wife, who now commands all the husband's attention and pampering? 

Icheoku does not know the religious demography of Eritrea but says if there are Christians in the country, would they also be forced into this concubinage and polygamy when their religion dictates one man, one wife? Even in a purely monotheist religious country, such as a Muslim Islamic country, not every man therein marries more than one wife despite their region's permissible four wives? In Nigeria for examples, Ibrahim Babandiga, Muhammadu Buhari and Umaru Yar'Adua are all muslim men but who choose to marry just one wife; admitted Abubakar Atiku married several wives, about four of them. So who pays for this extra headache - the government or the forced, reluctant and unwilling men of Eritrea? Why compel love or is the government of Eritrea not aware that forced marriages often end up very badly and often resulting to unpalatable  but foreseeable terrible consequences. 

Icheoku says that there are other more civilized ways of solving this excessive female inventory in Eritrea rather than encouraging or enforcing modern slavery by forcibly compelling men to take in more women than the one wife they wanted and planned to have. What about the psychology of the women being forced into such anti-social marital relationship? Did the government not take their mental and psychological wellbeing into consideration when they passed this law? A more practical approach will be to start solving the underlying issue that leads to too many women in a society. May be the government should start encouraging the evacuation of female fetuses before the result into a no-available husband females; and in that way reduce the number of females in the Eritrea society that would scramble for male companionship.  May be the government of Eritrean should encourage their women to migrate outside of Eritrea and in that way try their luck at landing men from other parts of the world as husbands. 

Icheoku is aware that China and India once applied the interruption of female fetuses to curb over saturation of females in their societies. Today, girls are essential commodity in China as too many males there now struggle to find a female to call their wife. Further, Icheoku queries  have the government of Eritrea considered enlisting their females in their armed forces; that way some of them would be lost in battles, as well as through other associated hazards of the uniformed forces. Further, did the government of Eritrea make it possible for their females, those with means of support, to freely have babies as single mothers if they desire to so do, rather than force them to become wife number two or three or four to some old and tired man? What incentives are the government of Eritrea providing to entice their men to take this additional burden; otherwise why must any sane man think about taking a second wife and peradventure increasing his yoke? 

But all thanks to some needless unending wars, men of Eritrea have virtually been wiped out; now rendering their marriageable women with  husbandless and holding a mere husband-wanted status. Icheoku wonders if this stop-gap measure introduced by the government of Eritrea, compelling their remaining men, many of whom are now aged, to taking additional wives would work. Which woman wants to share her man with another woman; and which woman wants to play a second fiddle to another woman? Conclusion is that in addition to the usual clawing and pulling of hairs, a real feminine war of supremacy has been unleashed in that horn of Africa by this law. With it, naturally will come a real treachery, including get the other wife out of the way quick or the older woman getting the husband out of the way quick rather than share him or be supplanted by the new wife. 

Whatever happens, the government and people of Eritrea should know that they are not the only people on earth with over stock and over supply of the female species. Even among black Americans, majority of whose males are either already killed or locked up in prisons, the black female is equally at a loss in finding good black man to marry. But  this has forced President Obama to decree that every black American man must marry two wives and/or that those old and tired already married must take additional wife to help clear the inventory.  Anyway, the people of Eritrea know better and only they know what will work best for Eritreans. Icheoku cannot pretend here to know better than the man wearing the painful shoes, all pontification notwithstanding, hence must butt out about their solution to clearing their inventory of excess females. One last thing, who pays for the marriage ceremony as well as the dowry including hundreds of heads of cattle? Better still, will it be a case of marry one wife, get one wife free or half off. Anyway, all the best to Eritrean people.

JONATHAN IS GOING DOWN, ARREST AND HANDCUFFS IN HIS FUTURE?

Icheoku agrees that Jonathan of Otuoke would soon be paraded before Nigerians in handcuffs. Olusegun Obasanjo wants this outcome and Olusegun Obasanjo will get his wish to have Jonathan "Metuh-nized" before the watching world.  Former President Goodluck Jonathan will be arrested and paraded before Nigerians in handcuffs as the man who presided over the biggest bazaar that ever took place in Nigeria. 

A president under whose watch, buzzards feasted heavily on Nigeria's commonwealth while he shivered fearfully in one corner, too afraid to raise a cautionary voice. Icheoku says if and when this happens, the skies will not cave in; but it will be hailed by millions of Nigerians who were disappointed by the failed promised breath of fresh air. They will in unison rejoice that finally a King that does not know Joseph has ascended the throne and has now called for the rendering of account. At worse, Nigerians will call for the arrest too, of Olusegun Obasanjo and Ibrahim Babangida, the precedent of arresting a president having then been set. It is unthinkable and regrettable that a president who lied that his government has no money to construct the second River Niger bridge, would dole out so much money to his National Security Adviser to play around with as he fancied.

Icheoku is emphatic that all these present arrests and charges are but mere diversionary maneuvers, meant to present an image of all inclusive investigation, but which is only preparatory to finally going after the big gun. The goal of the current shenanigans is the eventual nabbing of the mother of corruption himself; and because the buck stopped on his desk, no other person can be more guilty of the sleaze that took place other than the man elected to guard and prevent against such. The implication being that none of those who allegedly stole to their heart's delight could have easily done so without a tacit signing off by the former president. As then chief executive of Nigeria PLC, Jonathan  cannot plead innocent or ignorant of what went down under his supposed watch; and so he will be held accountable for it as commander in chief of the corruption. 

The saga of Sambo Dasuki, Olisa Metuh and co are but mere clearing of the ground prelude to the main event when former President Jonathan will be snagged. It will definitely shake Nigerians to see their former president and possibly his wife Dame Patience, put in handcuffs, arrested and charged for corruption. Luckily Nigeria is not Gerry Rawlings' Ghana, otherwise some of these looters would summarily be executed and the heavens will not fall as a result. There will be some noise by the international community but eventually the world would move on, treating it as Nigeria's internal affairs matter.  

President Muhammadu Buhari has locked up a president and his vice president before, so locking up Jonathan will not keep him sleepless in Aso Rock. Jonathan has severally proved himself to be a small fry and nothing will happen if he is arrested and locked up; moreso the current anti-corruption atmosphere in Nigeria will support such a far-reaching action meted against a former president of Nigeria. A good precedent it will be, just like when Sani Abacha dethroned and banished former Sultan of Sokoto Ibrahim Dasuki, which no Nigerian knew before then was possible. A situational possibility which Jonathan brought unto himself by sheepishly conceding the last election without first abstracting and extracting a "get-out-of-jail" card concessions from President Muhammadi Buhari. 

Like Pa Ayo Fasami rightly analyzed and Icheoku agrees, Buhari is merely bidding this time, giving Jonathan false impression that he is safe and that all is well, before finally swooping down on him. According to the UPN second Republic House of Representative member from Ondo State, "Nigerians should not be in a hurry to see the trial of Jonathan commence. The trial of the former President Jonathan is bound to happen. How can you have security chiefs under your watch being indicted for corruption charges and you wont have to be quizzed too? President Buhari is only taking his time. It is only a matter of time. it is unfortunate that Nigeria is now being referred to as the Federal Republic of Corruption. The security chiefs couldn't have acted alone." 

Icheoku agrees with the Ondo State elder statesman that the final epilogue in the drama currently unfolding in Nigeria will be a former President Goodluck Ebelesieme Jonathan paraded before Nigerians in handcuffs. What a day it shall be and Icheoku prays it be brought forward to give Nigerians the impetus to furiously demand for the arrest and trial also of Olusegun Obasanjo, Abdulsalam Abubakar and of course the man who institutionalized corruption in Nigeria, the resident evil of Minna Hilltop, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. Who says if you live long enough you will not witness things that you never previously imagined would be possible. 

DONALD TRUMP CAMPAIGN, WHAT BRINGS SARAH PALIN?

"I am proud to endorse Donald J. Trump for President of the United States of America." - Sarah Palin. "I am greatly honored to receive Sarah's endorsement. She is a friend, and a high quality person whom I have great respect for. I am proud to have her support." - Donald Trump. 

With the above Sarah Palin gave and Donald Trump accepted her endorsement for the Republican Party presidential ticket this election year. Icheoku says the latest entrant into Donald Trump's campaign, Sarah Palin, can only succeed in driving out some blue-dog democrats hitherto leaning Donald, out and into a no candidate's corner since  Hillary Clinton is not an option. What The Donald intends to achieve by coopting Sarah Palin into his campaign is beyond Icheoku's fathoming; but it sure does not look so kosher politically calculating. The far-right wing of the Republican Party, usually in Sarah Palin's corner, are already flocking to Donald, so what is the win here. Anyway, until we figure it out, it is to the fence now as we continue to watch the political scheming currently going on for the next American president. But regardless, nether Hillary Clinton nor Jeb Bush is the option as Americans are tired of the Clintons and the Bushes because America is not a family-only presidency and institutionalizing it now is not an option either. 

CORRUPTION IN NIGERIA IS BEYOND BUHARI TO FIX.

Icheoku says corruption is not just when you hand the proverbial over-stuffed 'Ghana Must Go' bags to an official to help influence a decision. No, corruption is bigger and greater than that; it is a cacophony of multi-layered things that aggregate together to help diminish the efficiency of running any society. Whenever a definite outcome is intended and something exchanges hands prior, as a quid pro quod for that purpose, corruption ensues. It could be in form of paying a stated amount to secure a contract; trading a favor for a favor; sex for favor; job placement for reciprocal favor or just anything that without which, the derived outcome would not have been possible. When a students sleeps with her professor for some passing grades, it is also corruption. 

When a mechanic steals a part from a vehicle and tells the owner that it needs to be replaced and then turn around and sell the same part back to the owner, its is corruption. When a doctor employed by a government hospitals redirects patients to his private clinic or hospital, that is corruption. When a lawyer aids and abets corruption, bribing judges for a decision, that is corruption. When a butcher shorts his meat buying customer by not cutting out the full portion paid for, that's corruption. When a builder steals building materials from construction site, that's corruption. When a pastor delves into a lot of abracadabra, speaking in tongues and making false prophesies just to swindle faithfuls of their  money in the form of tithes, that's corruption. It is also corruption to offer or receive and to demand or accept bribe; and the list goes on ad infinitum. So corruption is a whole gamut of bad behaviors which affect a society and renders it ungovernable or inefficient. 

Corruption is universal and is not restricted to any third world developing country including Nigeria. FIFA takes bribe to influence a host country of their world cup soccer tournaments. British BAE was sometime ago fingered for offering bribes totaling billions of dollars to Saudi Arabia top government officials to secure some arms contracts. American Halliburton was caught and fined for offering Nigerian government officials bribes totaling about $180 million. German's Siemens have been severally caught bribing government officials all over the world. United States Congressman William Jefferson was convicted for taking bribe, which implicated Nigeria's former vice president Abubakar Atiku. Brazil's Petrobras (NNPC equivalent) was involved in huge multi billion dollar corruption scandal. Russia's Vladimir Putin spent $50 billion to host winter Olympics in Sochi when experts had valued the cost at only $18 billion. So it is a universal cancer but it behoves on any government or country to control it and not let it define it and mess up their society.

So relating back to the current corruption war being waged by President Muhammadu Buhari in Nigeria, Icheoku laments that it is not comprehensive enough, but merely selectively targeted at perceived political opponents. A government desirous of earnestly fighting corruption should devise a wholesome approach, an anti-corruption program, designed and specifically directed at waging the war in a more holistic way and touching every facet of the society and conclusively too. Therefore all the pretensions of President Muhammadu Buhari notwithstanding, Nigerians are still waiting for that hero of anti-corruption war who will come and finally put Olusegun Obasanjo and Ibrahim Babangida in handcuffs and marshall them before corruption tribunals or courts. This two former leaders of Nigeria are living examples of the power of corruption as their inexplicable wealth cannot be explained out any other way. So as long as this two corruption poster boys (men) are still walking the landscape of Nigeria freely, Nigerians will continue to see the war on corruption as not touching everyone or in another speak, not far reaching. 

For any corruption war to be effective, Nigerians must see it as total, comprehensive and foundational; and touching and extirpating the very roots of corruption in Nigeria by uprooting the two men who are both personifications of corruption in Nigeria. Therefore any war on corruption in Nigeria that does not touch and concern this two men is shallow at best and will be seen by Nigerians as not far reaching. Many a Nigerian will jump for joy the day this two men are asked to explain the source of their stupendous wealth; otherwise how much is an army general's salary that they should have the amount of wealth which they parade. How much was his salary and remunerations as a general and head of state that Ibrahim Babangida should own a private jet as well as other accouterments of a multi billionaire? Ditto Olusegun Obasanjo, who channels many of his private wealth, including a private plane, through his former domestic servant Andy Uba?  This is a domestic servant who declared assets in excess of three trillion Naira and you wonder if this is for an ordinary "domestic servant, how much his master probably has? It should not be a case of the "catch me if you can" stance of Olusegun Obasanjo; but Obasanjo should be asked to explain the source of his wealth; falling which the government should seize them as proceeds of corruption or illicit dealings. it should be as it obtains in civilized societies, where any sudden wealth has to be accounted for, otherwise the government will step in and confiscate them as proceeds of corruption and/or illicit trade, including drug running. 

Regardless, Icheoku opines that the government should rather redirect its effort against corruption by adopting a new approach in its war. The government should instead of all this dramatic arrests and charges, direct its energies at appealing to the better side of Nigerians, to persuade them to curb their crave for easy sudden wealth and to curb their excessive greed. The government should prick the conscience of Nigerians into becoming a better people, who look forward to the common good of the nation instead of always abstracting things from it just for themselves and their families. Like American President J.F Kenndy once told Americans to ask for what they could do for their country, Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari could adopt this mantra for Nigerians. The government should try and persuade Nigerians to cut their desire for excessiveness and learn to live within their means; somewhat of a new orientation of the Nigerian society to stop worshipping wealth, regardless of its source. A more holistic campaign of a "War Against Excessive Greed and Want" should be adopted and instituted to replace the current war against corruption. 

Icheoku says corruption is symptomatic of a dysfunctional society where every mindset is fixated on making it rich. Hence whatever brings in the extra benefit is tolerated as beneficial, whether or not its other name is corruption. This is the mindset that breeds expectations of returns on favors and this is the mindset that fuels corruption and until it is tackled, the war is never going to end. If this inner conscience of Nigerians is not activated, President Muhammadu Buhari can do whatever he wants to fight corruption, but that will last as long as he lasts as Nigeria's president. As soon as he goes away or his term comes to an end, Nigerians as usual, will go back to their default position. They will simply walk away from the narrow path of corruption-free country President Muhammad Buhari would have laboriously worked to enthrone. It will be back to their former squalor once the sheriff who does not tolerate corruption and is watching over them with his cudgel by the side is gone. Recall that Buhari's previous 'WAI' suffered a catastrophic demise the moment he was shoved out of office and the little gains of that effort lost alongside with his being removed from power. 

Icheoku recalls that the evil genius Ibrahim Babangida, the man who institutionalized corruption in Nigeria, once boasted that every Nigerian except Gani Fawehinmi has a price. He went ahead to prove this by compromising the holier than thou Wole Soyinka, who could not give a detailed account of how he spent the over 700 million Naira he was given with which to run the Federal Road Safety Corp. The crux of the matter is that Nigerians lack core; they are not disciplined enough; they do not love their country nor country men and women, and above all, they easily fall prey to corrupt enticements. They steal from Nigeria and invest same in other peoples countries, thereby growing those other countries economy at the detriment of their own country. NADECO was similarly compromised through bribery and corruption which saw key members thereof switching sides; while some later served in Abacha's regime, some others were paid to chorus that MKO was not the messiah Nigerians needed. Their unconscionable action effectively killed and buried the June 12 struggle and with it Abiola's mandate gave up the final ghost. So many prominent Yoruba people who should be at the forefront, leading the charge to actualize Abiola's mandate, made unholy u-turns just for money, they abandoned the struggle and it petered to an end. So speaking of corruption and its diversity of forms.

Icheoku says in essence the war against corruption should be somewhat tinkered to direct it to repairing the mindsets of Nigerians to do better for their country. The mindset that found James Ibori not guilty of corruption against all clear subsisting evidence, needs to be retrained. The mindset that saw a nearly penniless Olusegun Obasanjo catapult to a stupendously wealthy individual, needs to be rejigged. The mindset that saw Ibrahim Babangida go from a retired army general to a very wealthy billionaire needs to be appealed to to change and do better. The mindset that saw Sani Abacha loot the country nearly blind, that some of his loot are still being repatriated back to the country several years later, needs to change. The mindset that saw Rotimi Amaechi hosting a 81 million Naira birthday party for Wole Soyinka, when Rivers State workers on mere 18,000 Naira minimum wage, are being owed their salaries and allowances, needs a complete do over; the mindset that saw former President Jonathan make funds available for Sambo Dasuki to dole out while claiming that his government has no money to build second River NIger bridge, needs a retreat; and the list goes on.

Icheoku is emphatic that if the grab-it-all-and-at-all-cost-no-consequences-whatsoever mentality of Nigerians is not cured, then President Muhammadu Buhari is merely wasting his time with his current effort to fight corruption. No sooner would his term be over than the next president would discard everything, anti-corruption, which he had worked so tirelessly hard to institutionalize. Icheoku says what needs to be done is to reeducate and reorientate the crippling mindset hounding Nigerians, which encourages and sustains corruption. The root of corruption needs to be uprooted - the mindset need to go. But until then, all these EFCC drama currently unfolding in Nigeria of arresting and informing Nigerians of looted money will remain what they are - mere showboating. It will not cut it. It is simply put, a shadow boxing that will lead to no where because after these guys, others will still line up to steal their own share of the proverbial national cake. They have seen the impunity which corruption purchased for Olusegun Obasanjo and Ibrahim Babangida and so will equally try securing their own insurance accordingly. A total cleansing of the mindset and attitudinal change of Nigerians are required if Nigerians are to ever see a functional society, devoid of crass craving for looting of national resources. This way, a more well organized and functioning society, which Nigerians can be proud of, will finally emerge. Without a doubt, PMB is pointing the way; but the big question remains whether Nigerians will follow, assuming they are even ready to make the c-change necessarily required in order to improve the society.