GUN VIOLENCE IN AMERICA: FOR WHO THE BELL TOLLS NEXT.

Just five people shy of Sandy Hook elementary school mass shooting incident that claimed 26 lives, the Uvalde Texas Robb elementary school mass shooting at 21 victims, now ranks among the highest grossing gun carnage in America. It is sad that such frequent blood spilling has tragically become part of our culture as a society. May the souls of the killed now rest.

25th AMENDMENT: ITS NOW ALL CRICKET.

Madam Speaker Nancy Pelosi once questioned former President Donald John Trump's fitness to remain in office due to what she claimed was his declining mental capacity. Does anyone know what Madam Speaker presently thinks about the incontrovertible case which America is now saddled with? Just curious!

WHO WILL REBUILD UKRAINE?

The West should convert frozen Russian assets, both state's and oligarchs' owned, into a full seizure and set them aside for the future rebuilding of Ukraine. Like the Marshal Plan, call it the Putin Plan.

A HERO IS BORN.

I am staying put. I will not run away and abandon my people. The fight is here in Ukraine. What I need are weapons and ammunitions, not a ride out of town like former Afghanistan President Ashraf Ghani - President Volodymyr Zelensky.

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

"There is too much hate in America because there is too much anger in America." - Trevor Noah.

WORD!

A life without challenges is not a life lived at all. A life lived is a life that has problems, confronts problems, solves problems and then learns from problems. - Tunde Fashola.

NOW, YOU KNOW.

When fishing for love, bait with your heart and not your brain, because you cannot rationalize love. - Mark Twain.

JUST THE FACT.

In our country, you can shoot and kill a nigger, but you better not hurt a gay person’s feelings - Dave Chappelle

DO YOU?.

“What you believe in can only be defined by what you’re willing to risk for it." - Stuart Scheller.

HEDGE YOUR CRISIS.

Never get in bed with a woman whose problems are worse than yours. - Chicago PD.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

'The best way to keep peace is to be ready to destroy evil. If you Pearl Harbor me, I Nagasaki you.' - Ted Nugent.

OUR SHARED HUMANITY.

Empathy is at the heart of who we are as human beings. - Cardinal Matthew Kukah.

WORDS ON MARBLE.

"Birth is agony. Life is hard. Death is cruel." - Japanese pithy.

REPENT OR PERISH - POPE.

Homosexuality is a sin. It is not ordained by God, therefore same sex marriage cannot be blessed by the church - Pope Francis.

CANCEL CULTURE IS CORROSIVE.


FOR SAKE OF COUNTRY.


MAGA LIVES ON: NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER!

TWITTER IS BORING WITHOUT HIS TWEETS. #RestorePresidentTrump'sTwitterHandle.


WORD.

"If you cannot speak the truth when it matters, then nothing else you says matters.” - Tucker Carlson.

#MeToo MOVEMENT: A BAD NEWS GONE CRAZY.

"To all the women who testified, we may have different truth, but I have a great remorse for all of you. I have great remorse for all of the men and women going through this crisis right now in our country. You know, the movement started basically with me, and I think what happened, you know, I was the first example, and now there are thousands of men who are being accused and a regeneration of things that I think none of us understood. I’m not going to say these aren’t great people. I had wonderful times with these people. I’m just genuinely confused. Men are confused about this issue. We are going through this #MeToo movement crisis right now in this country." - Harvey Weinstein.


RON DELLUMS: UNAPOLOGETICALLY RADICAL.

"If it’s radical to oppose the insanity and cruelty of the Vietnam War, if it’s radical to oppose racism and sexism and all other forms of oppression, if it’s radical to want to alleviate poverty, hunger, disease, homelessness, and other forms of human misery, then I’m proud to be called a radical.” - Ron Vernie Dellums.


WHAT REALLY MATTERS IN LIFE - STEVE JOBS

“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me. God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth. Memories precipitated by love is the only true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on. The most expensive bed in the world is the sick bed. You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear sickness for you. Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – Life. Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat yourself well. Cherish others.” - SJ

EVIL CANNOT BE TRULY DESTROYED.

"The threat of evil is ever present. We can contain it as long as we stay vigilant, but it can never truly be destroyed. - Lorraine Warren (Annabelle, the movie)


ONLY THE POOR WISH THEY HAD STUFF?

“I’m not that interested in material things. As long as I find a good bed that I can sleep in, that’s enough.” - Nicolas Berggruem, the homeless billionaire.

Showing posts with label why your marriage is not working for you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why your marriage is not working for you. Show all posts

Saturday, December 12, 2015

FIVE SIGNS OF A BAD MARRIAGE AND THEIR FIXES - NANCY JERGINS.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting on the sidelines at my daughter’s lacrosse game when I witnessed one of the 5 signs of a bad marriage unfold before me. A mother sitting nearby was cheerfully watching the game too, when a man walked up behind her. Without turning around to look at him, she brusquely said, “You’re late. What’s your excuse this time?” 

Ouch! After watching them over the next few minutes, I figured out that he was her husband. Of course, I have no idea what was going on in their marriage, and maybe the wife was just having a bad morning, but it reminded me that I should never talk to my husband that way in public (or in private, for that matter). If we do see any one of these signs of a bad marriage in our own relationship, we should regroup and try to correct the problem before it becomes too destructive. Here are the 5 signs of a bad marriage. 

1. You’re rude to each other:- No one can be polite 24/7; but, if rude is your default, there’s a problem. Rudeness is often a cover for resentment because of something your spouse has or has not done. It’s a way to get in nonphysical digs at your spouse. It also shows that you don’t find him or her worth the effort it takes to be courteous. 

How to fix it:- First, ask yourself why you’re being rude to him or her. Is it a passive-aggressive way to get back at him or her? Is there a bigger issue you need to discuss? After you’ve considered those questions, talk to your spouse and say something like this: “Josh (Jane), I know we’re both nice people, but I admit I haven’t been acting that way toward you. I apologize for being rude and short with you. I’m going to do my best to treat you with kindness.” Then, even if he or she doesn’t offer to reciprocate, move forward with your resolution. 

2. You disrespect each other in front of your children, friends and families:- It’s one thing to be snippy and disrespectful when no one is around. In that case, you’re only hurting yourselves. But if you act that way in front of your children, you’re hurting them too; in front of your friends that you don't value your spouse and in front of your family that you made a mistake in choosing him or her. 

How to fix it:- Children need to see their parents as a team – devoted to each other for the good of the family. When you tear down your husband in front of your kids, you are damaging your children’s sense of security. You want them to see their dad as a great guy. If you treat him disrespectfully, they’ll have negative feelings toward him too. Or, they’ll feel sorry for him and take his side over yours. In other words, your actions will either alienate your children from their father or from you. Either way is not good. So starting today, treat your husband respectfully in front of your children. (So also should spouses not tear down each other  before their friends and families)

3. You assume the worst about each other:- This is called negative interpretation, or mind reading. For example, if your husband says, “Where’s the dry cleaning?” You hear, “Why didn’t you pick up the dry cleaning? You never get it when it’s your turn.” When you’re in the “assume the worst” mindset, you also focus on your husband’s mistakes. Not only does this foster negative feelings in you toward your husband, it makes him feel pretty worthless in your eyes too.(Or using such words as 'you are a monster, animal, idiot, harlot, lazy, stupid and such other words and name-calling that does not uplift but tears down and belittles each other). 

How to fix it:- The fix is actually simple – assume the best. Don’t read a negative message into what your husband says, how he acts, or what he chooses to do. If in doubt, ask him what he meant and give him a chance to make himself clear. 

4. You don’t like spending time together with each other:- When you have spare time—whether it’s a free half hour after the kids have gone to bed or a weekend night when the kids are staying with their grandparents—if your husband or wife is not your first choice to be your free time companion, then you have a problem of bad marriage. And when you do spend time together, it turns tense. 

How to fix it:- The only way you will grow closer to your husband or wife is to spend quality time with them—that’s the first step. When you are together, make that time exempt from serious discussions or hot-button issues. Keep it light, keep it fun. Go in with a good attitude but not one full of resentment or mere toleration. Prepare yourself to have fun and be fun. 

5. You argue instead of discuss:- If every discussion turns into a battle of argument of who will win, you need to work on your communication skills with your spouse. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s crucial. You both need to feel safe to bring up any topic. You need to be confident that while a discussion might get intense, it will not degenerate into yelling, name calling, temper tantrums or angrily walking off and away from each other. 

How to fix it:- The good news: You can learn to communicate better! Go to your husband and tell him that you want to be able to talk about things with him, but don’t point a finger at him. Then use these ideas to learn to discuss instead of argue.