MARRIAGE 2.0, UPGRADED YET?

Icheoku says if your marriage is not working optimally as you had expected, have you thought about upgrading it? Have you given it a serious thought that it is possibly not working properly because what obtained in the days of your grandfather and grandmother is no longer applicable today? Are you still stuck in the last version Marriage 1.0 or have you upgraded to the new version Marriage 2.0 and if not, why not? Have you considered that possibly all your current marital difficulties may be as a result of your marriage being infected by bugs and viruses, which might be fixed with a simple patch embedded in version Marriage 2.0. 

If you are still stuck with the old ways your parents did things years ago, as handed down by their forebears; and have not woken up to the new realities that today's marriage is no longer amenable to certain things that worked yesterday, what is your problem? If your mother stayed at home while raising you and your siblings, manning (womanning) the domestic department, is your wife presently working and bringing home some bacon too? If your father came home to a well kept home, with food ready to eat; do you expect your wife to also do as your mother did while also working when your mother never worked but remained a stay at home mother throughout? Do you help out with some domestic chores or are you so old fashioned and stuck up in a husbandry stratosphere, expecting your wife to come home from her job and still be the only one running around the kitchen and tidying up the place and still get things done on time and efficiently? 

Icheoku says if you want your wife to be like your mother, are you also prepared to be like your father? Are you ready to provide all her reasonable needs as well as that of your children; and thereafter earn the right to the title of man of the house, with vested rights and privileges as well as benefits? Remember that with every right comes accompanying obligation; and with every privilege comes a duty. So if you are not prepared to make that trade off, then do not expect anything comparable to what your father got and learn to curb your enthusiasm. Always advice yourself properly that the fact of your being married does not automatically confer or beget you with everything your hearts desires and which your mouth commands. This is 2016 and things are no longer what they used to be and demands that you change and adjust accordingly.

Do you belong to the old school of marriage which believes that marriage is a relationship of master and his lady; where one party "husbands" the other party, while the other party merely "wifes" only the home front with unquestionable obedience to the wishes of her master? Or are you of the new school which sees marriage as a partnership relationship of co-equals with corresponding duties, rights and obligations? Aphoristically speaking, do you see marriage as two people riding on a horse with one person sitting behind the other; or as two people in a convertible sitting side by side with no room for third parties? Understanding that someone is still on the steering wheel but does not sit any farther from the co-passenger on the other seat. It is a tandem, co-equals with an alter-ego just for purposes of a seamless navigation. 

Icheoku says how you see your marriage and the mindset with which you approach it, actually determines how much happiness you will mine from it. It also indicates which school of marriage you belong to; and whether or not your marriage is of the old version Marriage 1.0 or has been since upgraded to version Marriage 2.0

Icheoku says if you have someone else as a best friend and not your spouse or a closest confidant who is not your spouse, then not only do you not have a right spouse but you are also still stuck with the old version Marriage 1.0 and you need an upgrade. If your spouse is not your closet confidant, the repository of your secrets, your clearing house, the bedrock of your existence and the center upon which your universe revolves, then you are probably still stuck in the outdated version Marriage 1.0 and need to urgently upgrade. Probe yourself to find out if you have "a spouse" or "the spouse"; as this goes a long way in determining the type of relationship you have with your significant other. 

If peradventure, you see your spouse as just "a husband" or "just a wife", as many would sometimes erroneously refer to their spouses without understanding the ramifications and implications, then you do not have yourself the enviable companionship necessary for version Marriage 2.0 and therefore cannot enjoy its benefits without an upgrade. If you are always thinking about a third party while sharing private moments with your putative spouse, then something is not kosher with your marital situation and you should seriously consider  rebranding or giving it a total makeover. If someone else or something else is more important to you than your spouse or is always given more attention or priority over your spouse; or someone else's matter is treated with speedier dispatch than your spouse's, then be assured that you do not have the right spouse and therefore you should consider either rebooting your marriage or  upgrading it or even think about a total do over. But please whatever happens, do not die in silence or fear of society's chastisement as you have one life to life, so live it. Salute.