Monday, June 22, 2015

WHAT THE WARDEN SAID TO THE PRISONER, IF I WERE YOU?

A Warden was once addressing an unruly inmate, on the need to learn how to be a better prisoner and also to develop a staying power since they are going to be seeing each other for a very long time. The inmate was sentenced to multiple life terms totaling one thousand years with no possibility of parole or early release for good behavior. So bound and shackled, the inmate was frogmarched into the Warden's office, preparatory to doing a three weeks stay-cation inside the hole for breaking prison rules of good behavior. 

The Warden said to the prisoner, "I did not bring you to this place neither did I send you here, the judge did; and he wants you to spend a very long time in here. My job is to keep you here and make sure you comply with the order by preventing you from ever escaping from this place until the completion of your time or death, which ever one comes first. I also intend to keep my paycheck coming. This your acting out or being a tough guy or rather being a very needy sissy inside here is entirely misplaced. You would have done that right inside the courtroom before the judge struck his  gavel on the block. But since you missed that golden  opportunity, it is now lost forever. There is no much choice left with you in this matter - it is either you put up and do your time cooperatively or I will make you do it the hard way. So the only choice you really have if that is a choice, is to do your time and it is my job to make sure that you do it. The other unfortunate thing for you too is that only one person calls all the shots here. That is the Warden and that is the reason you are here now before me. To reiterate, I am the Warden and this prison is my empire. I am a maximum ruler and within this walls, I rule  with absolute authority. Therefore how you choose to spend your life in here or rather how comfortable you want me to make your stay here is entirely up to you. If you want me to advise you again on how to curry some favor and not make your experience here too harsh, be my guest; but in any other circumstance, just ask yourself how much of bull-crap are you prepared to really eat and swallow. If I were you, I will choose wisely. Once again, be reminded that I am the Warden here and we don't come a dime a dozen and there is a reason for that. 

Icheoku says a true story, but the morals of this story should not be lost on anyone as the wise can sometimes also learn from an imbecile. It is about choosing your fights smartly and the need never to embark on fights you don't have the ways and means of winning. Former President Goodluck Jonathan failed to imbibe this lesson of life when he half-heartily engaged his political godfather, Baba Iyabo, in a fight; and the later had him for lunch and spitted whatever he couldn't digest of him back to his humble cradle of Otuoke. Icheoku says if you must take on any person, first make sure that your odds of defeating them are high or at least be prepared to die fighting. But to stay alive and watch their venomous vengeance consume you is not part of smartness defined. Always avoid misplaced aggressions or transferred aggressions, because aggressing the wrong party is never a good state to be in, in any given fight. So when choosing your fights, like the proverbial chicken in the pot of soup story, always remember that the pot is merely doing its job and was not the knife that severed your throat. So if you must bend your neck, do it with the knife that caused the original hurt or harm, but please leave the pot alone as it was merely a receptacle of your lifeless body. Finally remember that any lesson learnt is always worth any story told. Salute.

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