PRESIDENT UMARU YAR'ADUA OF NIGERIA, GONE FISHING?

Where is President Umaru Yar'Adua of Nigeria, missing from Aso Rock since November 23, 2009? He was last traced to King Faisal Medical center of excellence in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia but has now disappeared from the center? No one knows exactly where he is, not even his vice president, but one thing is certain, his life-support station is empty of his shrivelled cocoon, near lifeless body? Unconfirmed reports however has it that the president has since assumed room temperature and is now lying prostrate, somewhere cold, dingy and lonely?

As is common practice with some cultures and communities throughout West Africa, in Nigeria, when a king or chief dies, his death is not immediately announced until all the sacrificial human-heads needed for his burial-rites are fully procured and readied to accompany such a high chief to the land beyond. So could this be sustaining the rumor making rounds that President Umaru Yar'Adua is no more, long gone to be with his maker? That for the avoidance of total breakdown of law and order, the kingmakers of Nigeria alongside some other Western powers are trying to quickly raise and prepare the next person to take over before officially announcing the transition. Source tell Icheoku that it was in order to keep the place (Nigeria) controllable, that the 'late' President Umaru Yar'Adua has been put on a life-support where he will remain until power is transited; following which the plugs will be pulled and his carcass taken to Katsina for Isalmic burial? But never count out the 'magic' of the cat with nine lives Umaru Yar'Adua as he might still turn the corner and cheat death once again. Considering that Israeli's Ariel Sharon is still hospitalized over five years since he went into comma, may be Nigeria's petrol-dollar will see this caricature of a human specimen, hanging for his dear life, aided with machines and for a very very log time; to compensate him for losing his presidency?

Now back to some presuppositions:- if President Umaru Yar'Adua is still alive, why has he not commented on the terror incident of December 25, visited on America by his nephew Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab? Icheoku says, if Umaru Yar'Adua is alive why has he not deemed it fit to address the nation or at least formally author a letter of leave of absence to the senate so that Nigeria can carry on while he recovers? If Umaru Yar'Adua is alive, why is Turai Yar'Adua the de-facto president of Nigeria moving her precious stones as well as other stuff out of Aso Rock and in the dead of the night? If Umaru Yar'Adua is still alive, why does it require some of his co-travellers in foolery to relate to Nigerians that the president is 'sound and fit? If Umaru Yar'Adua is still alive why can't he show up in an audio/video recording to disprove the nay-sayers, including Icheoku? If Umaru Yar'Adua is alive why does it take one of his fellow conspirators to tell the world that the president spoke with the vice president? Why not let the vice president speak for himself instead of being forcibly put in a spot where he cannot easily extricate himself and had to 'admit' to a lie and possible cover-up, of such phantom conversation with a man in a vegetative state? If Umaru Yar'Adua is alive and is but in an unsightly condition that he cannot appear in video, let him wear a mask of sharia and address a world waiting so eagerly and tenderly for him or his apparition to speak up!

From all indications, it would appear that a live-Umaru is now but a wishful thinking, as the man whom Obasanjo used to punish Nigeria for refusing his third term bid is no more; and/or is so incapacitated that he does not and can no longer recognize the face of his co-president Turai. Icheoku's investigation revealed too that President Umaru Yar'Adua is no longer a patient at the foreign hospital in Jeddah Saudi Arabia where he eloped to on the day he was last seen by any Nigerian but Turai, on November 23, 2009? Now his life-support station at the hospital is empty, haunted by the 'ghost of Umaru', but the body is nowhere within sight which fuels the fear of a 'dead' president of Nigeria? Although a lead placed the now 91 pounds fully emaciated Umaru Yar"Adua somewhere in Germany, but we are yet to conclusively confirm it. A 91lbs adult man is something one sees only in the land of the living dead where Umaru now rightly belongs? So for the umpteenth time, President Umaru Yar'Adua, if you are still breathing and not completely brain-dead and derained of your cognitive function, please speak to Nigerians NOW! Record a statement with a camcorder and have Nigeria Television Authority (NTA) relay it to Nigerians; and since you can 'sign' a budget and 'spoke' to Jonathan Goodluck, David Mark and Olademeji Bankole, Icheoku says, you must have sufficient energy to record just a 37 seconds infomercial for the Nigerian people to assuage their restiveness. We also wondered why the new Chief Justice did not fly to your hospital beside for his swearing in, but had to settle for his departing colleague to induct him? An aside for a fast 'recovering' president, who is 'fit and sound' and who shall 'very soon return' to Nigeria? What a giant BS!

Moments as this calls for everyone who can to do whatever is necessary to cool down the temperature in the land; just open the air-intake valve and let normalcy return to motherland. In the absence of the president and for not doing what he is constitutionally required in his situation, Icheoku says, let his impeachment process commence or better still declare his office abandoned and fill it immediately by swearing in the vice president. The current problem is not an 'exclusive-Nigerians-affairs, no, as the whole world is watching and laughing, wondering what type of DNA Nigerians are made of? A country that can never get anything right? A country infested by 419? A country known for its crass corruption? A country held hostage by some past despicable leaders and continuing till this day? A country now branded a terror 'country of interest'? A country overflowing with the blood of innocents? A country being ruled by a missing president? A country whose president is AWOL and still in charge? Do these guys have grey-maters in their brains; otherwise, why do they think and act like fools? Nigeria is the proverbial ostrich that digs its head into the sand, pretending to be hiding when its entire body is jutting up in the air? It is a shame that these Abuja politicians think they have the power to do whatever they want including turning Nigeria upside down on its head and looting its treasury to their hearts delight! But what they do not know is that they are Nigerians, and among the world's present laughing stock; they are the ones that can and will travel overseas and stand to be 'fingered' at the airports, so why are they not getting it - the crying need to fix the broken Yar'Adua by replacing him with his able vice president? And it does not matter whether or not your name is David Mark, Oladimeji Bankole, or Umar Murktar; a Nigeria always remains a Nigerian. Admitted that Nigeria is boiling over and tethering so dangerously close to tipping over, off a cliff of implosion; but history will not be kind to the crop of imbecility that is holding Nigeria hostage.

Icheoku asks Nigerians, to prepare for the worse as they pray for the best that Umaru Yar'Adua's demise and the ensuing power struggle and fight for succession will not plunge Nigeria into another inferno. A fiery combustible inferno that will char every Nigerian irrespective of the position he holds or presently occupies. Anarchy does not know a prince; and may be Nigerians will be singing like the French did during the Bolshevik revolution, every politician to the lamp post, if we cannot hang you, we drown them, if we cannot drown them we crush their heads but one way or the other, they have to die to save the motherland. One last note, Icheoku urges Nigerians never to forget that Aremu Olusegun Obsanjo is a culprit here, he caused the present problem of 'a missing President' Umaru Yar'Adua because he single-handedly imposed Yar'Adua on Nigeria, fully aware of his susceptibility, and therefore should be held responsible for the current tension in the land. Also such 'marooned-fish' situation as Yar'Adua's can be avoided in the future if only the 'fit and sound' stand for elections! Let anyone who wants to run for office in the future, submit himself or herself to a battery of test by all the candidates agreed and approved doctors and let such medical report be made public thereafter. Let the next election of 2010 in Anambra State and the general election of 2011 be an open-season for all eligible Nigerians, and may these clogs in the wheel of progress all pass away and let Nigeria be free from their puppet strings. Whether President Umaru Yar'Adua is brain-dead or is dead as in dead, of as a door knob, only his eventual appearance or his body showing up somewhere will lay the current speculative frenzy about him to rest. Until either happens, Icheoku says that every Nigeria is deservedly entitled to second-guess the president's rather 'too long' absence from Aso Rock; hence the call for plugging up the hole in the presidency, is a widely held position which time has now come! Once again, President Umaru Yar'Adua, where are you?