Friday, December 25, 2009
CHRIST IS BORN, REJOICE!
THE PAPAL ASSAULT, AN AFFRONT ON GOD'S OWN INSTITUTION!
How could a woman jump barriers and knock down the pope with supposed security details watching and haplessly could not intervene? What then were they doing? A woman dressed in a red hooded sweat shirt vaulted over wooden barriers that cordoned off the basilica's main aisle and rushed and jumped the pope? Icheoku asks, could it be possible that this supposedly 'deranged' woman was acting out the biblical tale of the woman with the issue of blood; and that her faith forced her into the mad dash for the papal garment with hope of getting some healing; and accidentally pulled down the pope in the process? May be after-all, there was no malice aforethought in this supposed attack? Anyway, who knows the true intention of this woman until investigations are fully carried out, unravelling the motivation for this outrage. To further explore this angle of a possible miracle-seeking woman and her expectation that once she touched the pope's garment that her ailments will be cured; let us recall that during last 2008 Christmas Eve service, that another woman similarly made for the pope but was stopped by an alert security, who regrettably were caught off guard this time around. Coincidentally too, the last year's woman wore a red hooded sweat shirt similar to this attacker; which possibly could mean that it was the same woman who did not succeed last year that saw another opportunity this year and took it successfully? Also in 2007, another 'mentally' challenged man jumped a security barrier and grabbed the back of the pope's open car before being swarmed by security guards. This was another instance where contact was made with the pope or his popes-mobile, begging the question why was the security not very attentive on their subject of protection; and always acting after the fact?
Monday, December 21, 2009
ICHEOKU, WE ARE FEELING XMASY!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
MOTHER-NATURE MOCKS HUMANITY OVER GLOBAL WARMING?
Friday, December 18, 2009
PERSONALIZED PRESIDENCY, THE CASE OF YAR'DUA'S INDISPOSITION?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
TIGER WOODS FINAL TKO, AS NANNY TURNED WIFE ELI DUMPS HIM?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
ORAL ROBERTS, DEATH OF A PIONEER TELEVANGELIST MAN OF GOD!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
ANNISE PARKER, THE HOUSTON EMBRACE OF A SAME-SEX POLITICIAN!
Monday, December 14, 2009
TW BRAND, IT IS FINISHED!
So why are these other companies' marketing executives not reading the clear hand-writing on the wall, and only wishing that what was did not happen; or saying please tell us it ain't so? TagHeuer was right when they severed their relationship with the disgraced Cablinasian golfer, Tiger Woods; he is toast and the image which he once prided himself and traded in is no longer alive. It is dead and gone with the untamed and reckless deployment of his manhood, which he freely shared with call-girls and women of easy virtue; while still married to his nanny of a wife and the mother of his two children? What is now left is only charred remains of a now stinking and what was once an impeccable Tiger Woods, who no one wants to deal with or even touch with a ten-foot totem pole. Pac-10 also threw him over board and they rightly judged the tragedy that was a Tiger Woods uninhibited sexual adventurism. Gatorade also has a foresighted marketing executives who correctly read the situation and dumped him like a stinky trash? Icheoku is not surprised that Accenture has now joined the deserting corporate America who has figured out that Tiger Woods has nothing left to offer.
More corporate sponsors will follow in the coming weeks as corporate America realizes the futility of their wait and see attitude; that a dead man cannot rise or walk again and that TW is dead and will never resurrect! Tiger Woods' image is sullied permanently, it is forever gone and his not golfing for "indefinite time" is not helping matters at all. An ill-advised case where he absconded from golfing for an indeterminate period, golfing which is the air in his lungs and for which anybody and everybody wanted and had something to do with him in the first instance? So how long would a fish out of the water survive? This indeterminate absence from golf is a very fatal error of judgment and also too detrimental to whatever, if any, chances Tiger Woods would have had at recovering some or any amount of his former self.
So, any sponsoring company, still hanging around amidst the denudation should ask itself, what for and for what use? Our advise, it is hopeless and no amount of wishful thinking will bring back this broken egg? Cablinasian Tiger Woods should just roll up, sell off whatever is left of his TW and go into a long hibernation and out of sight; maybe someday re-emerge as a greying grandfather engaged in speculative stocks or whatever produce he may otherwise wish to engage in. No one want to be associated with a pariah or buy products identified with such a person. To do otherwise and especially in this TW's case, will unnecessarily lead to the purchaser being branded a cheater, a philanderer, a sex-addict and a liar; who goes through series of blonde women in unprotected sex-orgy! Could anyone please tell Icheoku who wants to be so identified or be seen to condone the 'transgression' of Tiger Woods through patronage of his products? This is the killer of the brand formerly known and referred to as 'TW'. The Cablinasian golf player, Tiger Woods, only had an image which appeared immaculate and unblemished; but they are all gone now due to a masked character flaw of libidinous and limitless sexual appetite for bimbos, culminating in his unsurvivable sex-capade scandal.
Therefore flowing naturally from the law of physics, Tiger Wood can only go downwards henceforth; and like his closely sounding name-sake TWA and/or PAN AM, TW can only wound up as the alter-ego cannot be reinvented. Tiger Woods is irreparably damaged by his philandering and taciturn when the scandal first broke. His selling point was his image and no amount of laundering will ever or be capable of removing that now stained image of a philandering, cheating husband and father, which his sexual escapade has left in the minds of many people world over, and which no magician of a marketer can erase. Even his beautiful yacht named 'Privacy' is now seen as that wife cheating husband's other sleaze pad? As for his playing golf, Icheoku believes that Tiger Wood is so much of a weakling Cablinasian to ever make a full come-back amidst so many curious onlookers many of who will no longer be looking at a golfing great but ogling at a pervert; a once golfing maestro now becomes an object of prying jaundiced eyes eager to take a glimpse of a monstrous sex-aholic with insatiable and unquenchable taste for bimbos?
It won't happen and Tiger Woods would rather jump off his "Privacy" than to suffer the humiliation of attempting a comeback; it is just too late now! It is all about the human psychology and Tiger Woods does not have any stronger constitution than the average Joe caught with his pants down in his neighbor's bedroom. Unlike other similarly situated scandals, everyone, especially women can easily relate to a husband or boyfriend cheating on them and they will not accept a cheating Tiger Woods being imposed on their psyche anymore - not on their television, not on endorsed products and not on billboards; wherever they will see him it will be no thank you! Who will buy products endorsed by a bimbo-loving nymphomaniac sexual addict; just tell Icheoku that soul? Corporate America is listening and is fully aware that the brand TW is now toast! So let the truth be told, it is over for the Cablinasian golfer, Tiger Woods; and all products with his endorsement now stand tainted and no longer marketable, period!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
SILVIO BERLUSCONI, BLOODIED!
In summation, Icheoku agrees with Umberto Bossi, the leader of a coalition partner the Northern League, that this attack was an act of terrorism. Commenting on the attack Mr. Bossi said, "we have had a heavy climate for some time now and this is the first worrying sign. After what has happened today we need to raise our guard." Yelp, we agree that Italians should guard their prime minister better and save themselves the pain and agony of having their leader being humiliated again in this public way! Icheoku also agrees with Pier Luigi Bersani, the leader of the main opposition party, the Democratic Party, that this attack was "inexplicable and is to be firmly condemned". We hereby join the rest of the world in condemning the attack on Prime Minister Silvo Berlusconi. Lastly, borrowing the words of Italian President Giorgio Napolitano, Icheoku concurs, that the attack is a "grave and unusual gesture of aggression" against a sitting prime minister of Italy! To Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, Icheoku wishes you quick parching up and pray you get over quickly the trauma that was such an unexpected and unprovoked attack. God bless!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
TIGER WOODS, THE FALL FROM GRACE OF THE CABLINASIAN GOLFER!
Linguine-spine former golf-great, Tiger Woods, has finally thrown in the towel. He has just quit golfing and it is indefinitely? In a message posted on his website titled “Tiger Woods taking hiatus from golf;” he wrote, "after much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person." What a holly-molly of a bombshell! What was this Tiger thinking or smoking lately?
Icheoku says, it would appear that this Tiger is a quitter? First he ran away from his very abusive wife after receiving the beating of his life; a run he continued when he hopped bare-feet, inside his Cadillac SUV and so disorganised and confused, crashed into a fire-hydrant and then a huge tree? Again he ran away from the world and stone-walled, after he was caught pants-down with over thirteen bimbos who turned out to be prostitutes, hookers, waitresses, escorts and other low-life 'street-women.' Tiger quit from explaining himself or telling his side of the story; and it is safe to say that only Tiger Woods knows what he derives from coupling with such kiss-n-tell despicable lowly daughters of Eve! But would he quit on his wife, Elin; who knows? Now, Tiger Woods has quit golfing; may providence save this much complexed-man, with no identifiable racial-constituency, from finally taking a jump off a cliff or a bridge somewhere?