BUHARI MARRIED FOR LOVING CARE, HOW ABOUT YOU?

Icheoku says the world's public opinion was recently rattled and rankled by what President Muhammadu Buhari said in "Western" Germany, apologies to the president, that his wife Aisha belongs to his kitchen. Practically every feminists and feminists apologists alike took up arms, demanding the head of the president for committing such a sin of unforgiven - subjugating women? They poured their souls out and used every media, especially social media, to berate and castigate the president for what he said. These crucify him, crucify him crowd, in their rabid insanity, forgot the implicit message telegraphed by Buhari that he loves his wife, that the loves Aisha's cooking and that overall, Aisha is the one in charge of the home front; while he, like the proverbial early man is foraging the forest for what will sustain the family. 

But unfortunately for the grandpa president, his message was lost in translation; wrongly understood by a world on a trigger-ready alert, eager to take on anyone who simply suggests the tiniest differences between the sexes; and in a new world order that is trying to do away with gender and would instead refer to people as persons. A genderless society where everyone is blended as generic person, period.

The world of these people went ballistic, pummeling the president who is yet to successfully parry off the attacks. Meanwhile the judging world did not care to know or even discuss what incensed the president into making the 'belong to kitchen' remarks. Whether any president in his position would have similarly felt betrayed by his closest confidant and the woman he married and who bore children for him. Many also forgot that Buhari was indeed restricted in his remark and spoke only about his wife Aisha, but not the general female population or other peoples' wives relative to where they respectively belong in their husbands' lives. Aisha has not said a thing ever since and Aisha is a fully matured woman, who is not shy about airing her opinion as her BBC interview shows. So Aisha not having said a thing since her husband made the remark in response or reaction, it is therefore possible to vouchsafe that Aisha is in agreement with what Buhari said and that it was their prenuptial understanding as to each other's respective duties and responsibilities in their marriage. 

Icheoku says to each his or her own and marriage is a very peculiar institution which does not accommodate of the one cap fits all general application. So why does or should anyone bother or worry themselves sick about a marital arrangement which exists between two consenting adults? Possibly a matter which was stipulated prior to their getting into the marriage that Buhari will be the provider while Aisha will take care of the home, including  the kitchen as well as the other rooms? Spouses make various arrangements in their marriage in order to lift the fog of who does what and who is responsible for what. It is an accepted reality of our times and the Buharis should not be expected or required to be any different from the ordinary Joe or Jane out there struggling through marital difficulties and its associated problems. What if the Buharis have that understanding that Aisha belongs to the kitchen and Muhammadu belongs to the gathering; and so what if Muhammadu mouthed it off?

Some spouses make prenuptial arrangement where they sign an agreement succinctly spelling out each party's entitlement in the event of dissolution of the marriage. Some spouses agree not to have children; some agree sometimes that one party will work while the other will keep the home front as the homemaker, as is likely the situation between Aisha and Buhari. Icheoku has also seen couples who agreed to have conjugal obligations performed only once every other week as of right, obligation and duty to each other; as well as couples involved in open relationship who agree to see other flings. There are couples too who are swingers and some even go on dates and later come home to share their experiences with their spouse. Some others agree to go on vacation at least once a year while some very weird spouses sometimes agree to sever ties with their respective in-laws especially their mother in-laws. So the question for these starry eyed feminists haranguing Buhari is, if it is okay for these respective agreements and understanding to be made by couples, why then is it not okay for Buhari and Aisha to agree that Aisha will belong to the kitchen while Muhammadu will belong to searching of family nourishment and upkeep? 

Does the fact that these agreements apply to some couples now make it a universal application such that any person not amenable to them will be chastised? If not, why then not let the Buharis be in peace and leave them alone to manage their marriage as they see fit and determine proper and in their best interest. Why single Buhari out because of what he said and lampoon him as if he put every woman under his template and forced them all to belong to the kitchen. 

Icheoku maintains that what Buhari said was his personal opinion as applies only to his own wife, regarding their expectations and understanding of their marital relationship. It is therefore not anyone's business to interject themselves in another man's personal life situation. Aisha can speak for herself and Aisha is not complaining nor yet complained of being offended by what her husband said. Good enough too, Aisha has so far exhibited the maturity expected of a president's wife and has not run amok whining or bitching about what was said concerning where she belongs in her husbands life. She has maintained calm and great equanimity, with a very beautiful smile and carriage befitting a princess and a president's wife and for this Icheoku commends her. She has by her calm amidst the needless storm unarmed those meddlesome interlopers spoiling for a kill, who thought to goad her into taking the bait of needless controversy of supposed wife's subjugation; a storm merely generated to scorn Buhari and pitch him as too archaic and out fashioned. The supposedly hurt woman has not complained, is not complaining and until she does, everyone is wasting his or her time being more catholic than the pope and crying more than the bereaved. 

These supposed defenders of women's rights should sheathe their swords and wait until Buhari makes his position a universal application before they start marching in protest demanding for his head. To date President Muhammadu Buhari has not issued the fatwa nor passed the decree generalizing his position and Aisha Buhari is still just smiling and has not complained. At least she belongs somewhere, afterall so many women are begging to belong somewhere even it means just being let in under the roof. It is also instructive that many people marry for just companionship; some for children; some for financial support and upkeep; while many others marry for all manner of reasons including many bothering on the mundane. Icheoku says so choose you today what you are marrying for or if already married, why you got married; but please leave other married people alone and in whatever their reason and whatever works for them. As for Icheoku, the only reason that makes sense why any person should marry is companionship, without which parties have no business saying 'I do' to one another. Companionship of each other is the key and the sole principal reason to ever settle on any particular individual; as other things are more easily obtainable as spread out through majority of human beings  and one might as well get anybody for them. Icheoku says in the matter of Aisha and Buhari, the whole world should butt out and keep off; just mind your own business.