So without a heavenly support for his recent admonition, upon what authority did he make his latest pronouncement that men should marry only good cooks? In his own words, Pastor Enoch Adeboye said "Don't marry a woman who can't cook, a girl who cannot cook will not be a good wife." Icheoku says if fallacy ever has a definition, this certainly is it. Since when has good cooking become a paradigm and yardstick for determining a good wife; as to make it a prerequisite qualification and precondition to marrying somebody? Icheoku says nothing can be further from the truth than this very primitive perspective on what a good wife is. What a subjugation of the female gendered specie, now summarily consigned to the kitchen by a man still stuck in the past.
Peradventure, Enoch Adeboye with this type of mindset, should not be leading any people in this modern day and age, not at all. Icheoku says to condemn potential spouses and women in general to such a single issue qualification is to say the least very pedestrian. How about other qualities including among overachieving women who have excelled in several other departments but were short in the kitchen department? Why do people go to culinary schools to train to be chefs and cooks except to provide for sometimes certain lack.
Anyway, back to the Bible and its provisions on marriage and their irreconcilability with Adeboye's instruction, starting with the first known marriage ever recorded in the bible, the Adam and Eve story at Garden of Eden.
In Genesis 2:18 God said while getting Adam a wife, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” From the provision, it is obvious that God created Eve to primarily provide companionship for Adam, not necessarily to be a good cook for him. In another very significant marital discourse in the bible, when Abraham sought a wife for his son Isaac, he instructed his servants in Genesis 24:4 to "go to my homeland, to my relative and there find a wife for my son Isaac." From this verse, it is instructive that the controlling authority to finding a wife is stork, his breed, his kind. Abraham did not make being a good cook a precondition to finding a wife for Isaac; instead he wanted a wife from an acceptable blood lineage, possibly the good gene pool wife - from one of his own people.
When in the same Genesis 24:14, the servants of Abraham reached the land to pick a wife for Isaac, their test for a good wife was humility and kindness - 'a woman who will give them water to drink and also water their camel too.' A woman who has the spirit of caring and giving, love and affection, but once again not one who is a good cook. Then we scramble to the Gospel of John 2:1-11, at the wedding feast in Cana, only to see that Jesus did not offer any opinion about finding a wife. He merely, at the instigation of his mother Mary, blessed the wedding couple with choice wine - a gift of some sort. Jesus could but choose not to butt in other people's private matter with regards to marriage or who they marry including the reason for marrying them. Jesus simply did not meddle into a couples purely personal affair.
Yet this Adeboye professes Jesus Christ, but would not do as Jesus Christ did? Jesus had every opportunity to wade into marriage but chose not to and even in the affairs of the stomach, admonished in Matthew 4:4 that "man does not live on bread alone" when tempted by the Satan to turn stones into bread. So why does food occupy such a very high pedestal in the eyes of Pastor Enoch Adeboye, one would ask? Why of all the reasons and factors a man decides to marry a woman, it is food that constitutes highest priority for Enoch Adeboye? If he likes food so much, does that give him the impetus to use his one cap fits all measure to now condemn every woman to the kitchen, thinking that every man cares so much about food?
Icheoku says of all the more important things Adeboye should be counseling young intending suitors on, including finding a wife who is peaceful and not quarrelsome and troublesome, he is more interested in stomach infrastructure? A man really interested in making men happy should have referenced Proverbs 21:19 wherein it was said that "it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman." So why is Pastor Adeboye not preaching against marrying an angry woman whether or not she is the best good cook ever to walk this earth or is he saying by necessarily implication that her good cooking should override her anger problem?
Why didn't Pastor Adeboye advise men to take their request on finding a wife to God in prayers as Philippians 4:6 teaches 'not to be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayers and petition and thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 2 Corinthians 6:14 goes further to admonish 'not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers; yet Pastor Adeboye is just talking about food? Icheoku says how about a woman who does not know how to cook but fears the Lord as Proverbs 31:30 instructs that 'favor is deceitful and beauty is vain but such a woman should be praised? How about a virtuous woman as Proverbs 31:10 spoke of or is Pastor Adeboye preaching that a hotelier or a restaurateur and a drunkard should be preferred over such a noble woman in choosing a wife?
Icheoku says if Pastor Adeboye was right, Proverb 18:22 which states that 'he who finds a good wife obtained favor from the Lord' would have read 'he who finds a wife who is a good cook' instead? So query, upon which authority does Adeboye actually preach or give this his injunction, because certainly it is not in the bible. Proverbs 19:14 speaks of 'a prudent wife coming from God' but never a good cook wife. What is wrong in a good wife later going to culinary school to brush up on her cooking 101 of she must; except that according to Adeboye no one should have married her in the first place because she is not primarily a good cook. Colossians 3:18 and Ephesians 5:22 speak of wives submit to their husband and you wonder if according to Pastor Adeboye, being a good cook now overrides this biblical instruction for obedience? Icheoku says how about a wife being obedient as Sara obeyed Abraham calling him Lord in 1 Peter 3:6?
Icheoku hopes that Pastor Adeboye has not put wedges into many impending marriages nor has he inadvertently messed up some prospective marriage proposals by what he said, because Mark 10:9 says 'not to put asunder what God has joined together;' or better still planning to put together. There are so many more cogent and salient reasons why a man and woman come together to be joined as husband and wife; and it includes companionship, comfort, children and so many other much lovelier things, but definitely not that the woman is a good cook or would be a good cook; neither for the man to spend his time eating well cooked food.
Cooking well or not cooking well is relative; and it is a solvable problem which hiring a cook or chef could so easily take care of if it gets to that. Also cooking is not genitalia dependent as men can also cook and cook very well too. Most times an illustrious loving wife, who feels that her cooking is below par, will not hesitate to take some cooking lessons from her mother, sisters, friends and other relatives to brush up her cooking. But for Adeboye to so lackadaisically condemn the women folk, especially those of them he adjudged not to be good cooks, to a life without husbands for not being wifey materialist because they cannot cook well despite other beautiful qualities they have, is condemnable and should be condemned.
A man of God should not be preaching divisiveness but should be building up relationships; and where certain noticed deficiencies exist, find solutions to fix them; but never to so cavalierly wave off a so many women as not good to be married simply because they do not cook well. The fact that some of these women may not have been exposed to cooking in their growing up days did not even touch the heart and tongue of Adeboye; neither did he qualify his decree with a proviso that such a woman willing to learn to cook well should be given a much deserved break. But his was a total blanket condemnation. Icheoku says it is not right and the man of "God" did not seek God's face before uttering his nonsensical. May God forgive Adeboye for such mass destruction of women, whose chances of being married he jeopardized with what he said.
Cooking well or not cooking well is relative; and it is a solvable problem which hiring a cook or chef could so easily take care of if it gets to that. Also cooking is not genitalia dependent as men can also cook and cook very well too. Most times an illustrious loving wife, who feels that her cooking is below par, will not hesitate to take some cooking lessons from her mother, sisters, friends and other relatives to brush up her cooking. But for Adeboye to so lackadaisically condemn the women folk, especially those of them he adjudged not to be good cooks, to a life without husbands for not being wifey materialist because they cannot cook well despite other beautiful qualities they have, is condemnable and should be condemned.
A man of God should not be preaching divisiveness but should be building up relationships; and where certain noticed deficiencies exist, find solutions to fix them; but never to so cavalierly wave off a so many women as not good to be married simply because they do not cook well. The fact that some of these women may not have been exposed to cooking in their growing up days did not even touch the heart and tongue of Adeboye; neither did he qualify his decree with a proviso that such a woman willing to learn to cook well should be given a much deserved break. But his was a total blanket condemnation. Icheoku says it is not right and the man of "God" did not seek God's face before uttering his nonsensical. May God forgive Adeboye for such mass destruction of women, whose chances of being married he jeopardized with what he said.
My message not for everybody — Adeboye
ReplyDeleteAugust 17, 2016 -
Kayode Falade
Against the background of the criticisms that greeted one of his sermons at the yearly convention of the Redeem Christian Church of God, its General Overseer, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, has said his messages are not for everybody.
The social media was awash a couple of weeks ago on the sermon of Adeboye to the youth members of the church at the Redemption Camp where the message bordered on the choice of marriage partners.
The widely circulated footage had shown Adeboye telling the men not to marry a woman who could not cook or pray for a minimum of an hour.
In the same video, he warned the spinsters not to marry a man who had no job or who could not show concrete evidence of his means of livelihood.
But the world renowned preacher on his Facebook page on Tuesday , in apparent reaction to the criticisms, said his messages were not for everybody.
Adeboye said, “My message are not for everybody. So, I plead with you, ask God to speak to you specifically.”