Saturday, January 23, 2016

THE OTHER WOMAN THEORY, OFTEN A FAULTY PREMISE.

Icheoku says many a time wives attribute their husbands' sudden indifference and lack of interest in them to their having extra marital affair somewhere. To them there is always that mysterious woman to whom their husbands have started showing some affection, the reason they no longer care again about them, but rather begins to just see through them. Although sometimes this might be somewhat the case, but not necessarily in all the cases and to an extent, may not be so in majority of the cases. 

Speaking from the point of view of a male specie and backed by several studies, men take a very long time before switching off their affection, provided it was there in the first place and not being acted or put up as a facade or as a means to score a chic. Men usually jump only when they are pushed away without any leeway to make it up or segue back to their loved lady; who albeit, inadvertently is driving them nuts or into a hurt locker. They take that leap of fate as a last resort; moreso as the only way out and for survival or as a parachute to try their hard luck in love somewhere else. Icheoku is emphatic that it is only at this point of saturation, of no return, that many a man start nosing around or fishing for some cooler environment elsewhere, outside the heat in the home they had sweated to build. 

Icheoku says more than 99.9% of men do not go into marriage believing it will fail; the reason they usually hop around playing the field before finally settling down for the most likely woman they accessed, would spell successful marriage; and then take her home to meet mom. So it is always surprising when women run off their mouths on their husbands or gossiping about their husbands that the other woman has stolen his heart. Nope, that other woman is only a succor, providing for the deficiencies which a man was forced to put up with, in the woman he had married. That woman does not not bitch the man, that woman does not nag the man; the man does not fear to return home after work because home is now a living hell; that woman does not use sex as a weapon and a man punished with denial of service who sees a woman with greater understanding, most likely will take the bait. 

A woman who suddenly stops feeding her husband just to punish him should know that the enzymes are braindead robots which must get their nutrition supplies at the appropriate time, so that they can go to work digesting them. When a woman refuses to feed her husband and another woman easily reads his face to know that his belly is churning, only a suicide will not be decisive with choices that was left him. When a woman begins to place her husband on timeouts or begins to consistently wear double jean shorts to bed at night, a man might be tempted to the touch of another  woman who knows what a man wants. So provided that the issue that first triggered the problem is tabled or voiced out, discussed and resolved timely, any woman who knows her onions and wants to earn the right to title of a lady, must learn the art of being a wife - tactical management of an overgrown child, which men are. 

Icheoku says men are the easiest creature God ever made, easy to please and easy to satisfy. Men do not need much; they only desire to be respected, leaving no one in doubt about the headship of the household. That semblance of authority or captain-ship of the house, some food if available, some sleep in order to rest for the next day's toil and some sex when the mood is right are practically the only things men really want and need. As a correlation, the sleep connotes some peace and quiet in the house otherwise the sleep will be sleeping-"muruanya" and it is never restful. Then of course there are some other category of men - the metrosexual men whom cleanliness and always looking good means a lot. Some of these men also prefer their women to be trim and smart and believe that baby-fat (post pregnancy) weight is sheadable too. Icheoku says are these too much to ask for rather than complaining about the other woman? 

Most times, it is when these expectations fail, with many of their repeated mentions and reminds continually ignored, that some men who could not stomach it anymore take that leap and Ben Johnson out of the house and straight into the other woman's bosom. Although men usually start throwing bait-able hooks with increased recurrences and non-abatement of such complained behaviors. But many a woman make that mortal mistake of just stonewalling the snippets of minders from their men, wrongly believing that nothing can be done about them and that nothing will happen as a result. Icheoku is not saying that these are ironclad insurance policy against a husband ever eloping with the other woman; but it always worked 91.7% of the time in every successful marriage. 

Conversely, like men, women equally desire well; so any man who wants his woman to be "the woman", his own very woman, must equally aspire to also be the man he is supposed to be. Women cherish the man who swept them off their feet among the many suitors who tried but failed before yielding their defenses and gave their hearts to you. So by the same token, listen to her and hear her cries for improved physique and better grooming. If she hates beer-belly always remind her of this whenever she tries to overfeed you with pounded yam, farina and other starch, especially so soon before going to bed in the night when metabolism is low. Then if you must drink, go for the spirits instead of the water-filled brews; and of course some exercise will never do you any harm. But above all, the TRC of every good relationship always trumps over everything else because with them, many marital problems are easily nipped in the bud before they force either party into another suitor's arms. Communicate with each other, respect each other and trust each other and then sit back and watch your union sizzle; and there won't be any agonizing tale of the other woman and of course, of the other man.

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