Friday, January 1, 2016

THIS NEW YEAR 2016, RESOLVE TO LOVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

Icheoku says man surrender to your woman; woman submit to your man and there will be peace on earth, blessed by the heavens. This 2016, let your new year resolution be to love and love mightily. To accomplish this, learn to appreciate your partner and their efforts no matter how minuscule they might seem to you; and also learn to apologize when you offend them or you are wrong. Say thank you to them when they do some good or favor to you and also say sorry when you offend or wrong them. It is simple and not that hard to do; except that mortals would not heed this time-honored advise? The reason they are stewing in unhappiness and steadily agonizing why did they get married. 

Life is too short to live it regretfully, so learn to live it lovingly. Love is a contact sport which admits of no breaks nor sitting on the fence. You have to live it in the now; being present always, not aloof or lackadaisically. That's the only way you can get the best out of life, lived in love and happiness. A well choreographed and functional life is a delight and imitable thing to behold and experience. Those who unfortunately waste their valuable time, fighting for needless supremacy in their relationship, instead of enjoying a well-lubricated life, are simply missing out on a lot of good life's moments. So in this new year 2016, resolve to reorder your priorities in such a way that you can start truly living a good, less stressful life, instead of just hanging in there bitching about all the time how unlucky in love you are and how screwed up your life is. There is order in the universe and there is a hierarchy of things, so try to find your fitting position and then snuggle in accordingly, not to  make your own life experience an exception. 

As a cardinal rule number one, admit no one whosoever in your relationship. It is purely a private affair between two parties and a third will ruin it. You can have and keep your friends, your relatives, your sisters and brothers and even your parents; but they must not be an integral part of your relationship, period. They are but welcome strangers to it and should always remain so and as far as your relationship is concerned. Your parents especially have had their time in the sun and must therefore allow you to have yours; so do not allow their interferences to ruin what you have. The same goes with nosey, overbearing sisters and brothers, who like to butt themselves into other peoples business. You must force them to let go off you, which being married truly presupposes. Three is a crowd in love relationships and there is no point fighting it if you want to have a successful outing. The late Princess Diana once lamented that her relationship with Prince Charles was overcrowded as there were simply too many of them involved in it; referring to Queen Elizabeth's controlling obsession in Prince Charles affairs and accordingly tele-guiding his actions and decisions. 

You can have members of your family around but never as part of the relationship by bringing them into whatever decisions or disputes you may have with your significant other. It is dangerous and very damaging to involve third parties in your relationships. First you don't know who is jealous of what you have and might want to unravel and ruin it? Also why needlessly create enmity and bad blood where and if it could be avoided? For example if you have an issue with your spouse and you invite your mother or sister or brother of even a friend to come and adjudicate it for you guys. As expected, they naturally will gravitate towards your viewpoint and position. Your spouse will automatically assume that they took their position because they were biased against him or her, in favor of one of their own. So regardless of how germane their position in the disputation might be, your spouse will not care to understand the rationale behind it and will brand them marked for destruction as the enemies within, who are ruining the relationship. Conversely, if they side with your spouse, you will see them as taking sides against one of their own - the Michael Corleone's admonition of Fredo 'don't ever take sides with anyone against the family," kind of situation. And as Godfather teaches us, such never ends well; so why create an avoidable unpleasantness. 
  
To really love, learn to love like a child - fearlessly, truthfully and honestly. 

The other rule of the thumb, if there is anything you value more than your spouse including friends, family members, parents, children, job, money, vehicle, habits, drugs and alcohol, then you are not truly in love. At best, you are like every other Jack and Jill out there who are having their own self-inflicted marital problems, hence nothing special about you. You are as ordinary as the rest of them and there is nothing that stands you out from the pack, the day you start devaluing your spouse as of less important to you than some other things that you value higher. But to make your relationship rock solid, endeavor to not let anything come or stand in-between you and your spouse; and treat it as you would when in between the sheets. Above all, share and share everything in common. Be the best friend your spouse wants to find in a relationship and be the confidant he or she wants to have a companionship with; and together you both shall find bliss IJN. Love conquers everything and without love in your life, you are running on emptiness. Have a love-filled new year 2016. All the best. Salute.

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