Icheoku says the authorities in Little Elm Texas should focus primarily on the wife of the late football (soccer) star in their quest to find out what drove Uche Okafor off the cliff. Was it a case of a psychotic who just took his own life or a figuratively castrated man, who could not take it anymore and in a sense was pushed? Except you are wearing the shoes or you are privileged to be in the know, Icheoku may be sounding cuckoo to you; as you will not understand what some married Nigerian men are going through in the hands of their suddenly liberated Nigerian wives in the United States of America; especially the nurses amongst them.
Icheoku says, if Uche Okafor's wife Ifeyinwa Okafor, is a nurse and they live in Dallas area of Texas, then she is suspect number one as she probably drove her late husband to his untimely death? A man, especially an Igbo man of Owerri extraction, will not easily take the rope except to protect his honor and where no other option is immediately available. It is either a result of a cheating wife or a wife who had subjugated him so much to the extent that he was turned to a glorified houseboy or Mr. Mom of the house that he called it quit? Any man faced with a constantly nagging wife, telling him to his face that he is not man enough and cannot pay his bills, sometimes may decide to just end the marriage; but where he is unable to stand scrutiny or the stare of the society as a failure, might choose to just end it all together to save face.
It is a common knowledge within Nigerian communities in the USA that many Nigerian women in the Dallas area of Texas have taken their America given liberated status to an entirely new heights; as many of them now prefer to have no man in the house "telling them what to do?" Sources has it that they even have an association which they use to drive home their newly found liberty; and many Nigerian women in the Dallas area are desirous of joining its membership. So is it possible that the allure to join the infamous 'Liberated Nigerian Women (Divorced and Widowed) of Greater Dallas of America (Di-gbakwa-oku) group" made Ifeyinwa to so mistreat Uche that he completely lost his mind? It is not a secret what these women do and are capable of doing just to avenge what they consider Nigerian men's overbearing influence and what they allegedly went through in the hands of the proverbial "Nigerian men"? So without mincing words, Icheoku says, what happened to Uche Okafor could be traced to a matrimonial home which has become so hellish and unlivable that he wanted out and immediately. However, Icheoku does not support or condone the taking of one's life by suicide and regards it as cowardly. A pissed off and fed-up Uche Okafor would have instead walked away or taken care of business in some other fashion, instead of the cheap exit route he settled for - a two dollar twine from a 99cents store. Suicide, especially by hanging is unmanly, sissy and girlie-man like; and his body under normal traditional circumstance should be thrown away into the evil forest for the vultures to feast on to avoid damnation and bad reincarnation; or at best left with the funeral homes in Dallas to do with it however they please, but never sent home back to Igboland. Suicide is ignoble and a suicide should not be honored with proper burial, so Uche Okafor deserves nothing better and no excuse or reason whatsoever is good enough for an exception.
Icheoku says it is not easy to commit suicide and anyone who had come close to making that decision will attest to the fact that taking ones' life is about the most difficult personal decision anyone can ever make. It takes a lot for someone to be driven to that level where the taking of one's life becomes an option and in this case, the ever happy-looking Uche Okafor. His must be for something more serious than cancer and which was not ready to abate or give way to make a way that he decided enough is enough. It must be something persistent and continuing, and without any hope of it ever coming to an end; and the man must have given it his all without any success or hope thereof before surrendering to his monster. But he choose the easy way out - the cowardly way. According to the story, Uche dropped off his daughter at school while the wife had gone to work and came back to an empty home or rather house, since there appears to be no peace therein to make it a home. Long tired of living in bondage of a hellish house under an overbearing wife and with his mind already made up, he decided to put an end to his misery. This theory is aided by the fact that there was no existing mental disease record of the suicide, nor does suicide run in their family to make him join the train; so what else could push a man if not a house which is not a home.
From the story, it appeared that Uche Okafor was converted to the Mr. Mom of the household as his wife worked while he ran the errands and did other domestic chores. He had dropped off their daughter at school before returning home to continue with the dishes and other assigned domestic duties for that day. It would appear also that his changed status from a bread-winner to a homemaker was just too much for his manly ego and pride to bear that he decided to tie the final knot. But which real macho man turns tail faced with sudden change of his circumstances instead of navigating his sorry arse out of the given dilemma? Regrettably, it appears that Nigerians in Diaspora of America has suffered yet another avoidable loss of a man, who possibly fell victim of a bitching and very vindictive Jezebel of a wife, who felt so liberated by America and does not any longer care about the place of the man in a household; once she is the one bringing home the bacon? Was this what happened or is the jury still out trying to figure out what made Uche Okafor to suddenly decide to take his life. Conversely, if Uche felt so much violated by his wife's attitude that he ended it, Icheoku asks, why did he not make it a murder-suicide or was his love for their daughter such that he did not want to completely make her an orphan and chose instead to be more professional about it. Who and or what drove Uche to the land of no return is the million dollar question yawning for an answer.
Icheoku does not claim to know all the answers to the question - why Uche Okafor killed himself; but judging from what is now the standard operating practice procedure of some Nigerian women in the Diaspora, particularly in America, one is always suspicious when stuff like this happens. If it were the opposite female spouse that fell victim, fingers would still point at the man since between Nigerian men and Nigerian women in Diaspora, there is really no love lost. Each always bitch about the other and vice versa - Nigerian men, Nigerian women, Nigerian nurses etc. At 43, energetic, youthful, vibrant, healthy and still full of life; for Uche Okafor to just hang himself in his hallway does not make any sense and he does not have some incurable disease that he was too ashamed for people to find out about. Icheoku says, he must have been driven by circumstances which he could not handle which left him with just one choice - a forced final exit from this world. May be as the Igbo saying goes, something bigger than the cricket came calling in its hole and the rest as they say is now history? A defender with Nigerian Eagles from 1994 to 1998 who later played for United States of America Kansas City Wizards from 1996 to 2000, and until his death, a football analyst with ESPN. Icheoku in conclusion says that Uche Okafor did not just return to his house after dropping off their daughter at school and decided to just end his life. Suicide is not spontaneous and the suicide must have deliberated on it for quite sometime before finally settling down for that option and then proceeds on that journey of no return to the land beyond the clouds. Uche Okafor was definitely pushed by something which did not appear to be resolving itself and he must have carried it with him for quite sometime before finally giving up his life as a trade-off. Hopefully he left a suicide note; but in any event, his loss is regrettable and we offer our condolences.
Okafor did not kill himself
ReplyDelete…Family says no to US police suicide hints
By Our reporter
Monday, January 10, 2011
•Okafor
Photo: Sun News Publishing
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The family of Uche Okafor has denied hints from the United States of America (USA) police that the Super Eagles' former defender, Uche Okafor, killed himself.
The Nigerian ex-international was reported to have died by hanging in his Dallas, USA, home. But in a swift reaction to the circumstances surrounding his death, the player's family spokesperson, Ugochukwu Nwaokoro, refuted the suicide story, stressing that there was more to his death than meet the eyes.
“We are disappointed with the stories being circulated on the internet,” Nwaokoro, in a telephone conversation, said from the United States (US). “There is no iota of truth in any of the stories that Uche died by hanging. This is because the Uche we all knew could not kill himself. We shall get to the roots of the matter.
The autopsy report will reveal he truth of how Uche really died to the whole world. Meanwhile, police investigations are ongoing. For now, we are still in a deep shock over his strange death and we are not going to make any further comment until the autopsy report is made available to us very soon,” Nwaokoro said.
“On behalf of the entire Okafor's family of Umuabali, Ubomiri, Imo State, Nigeria, both resident at home and abroad, I would like to thank Uche's friends, associates and football/soccer lovers around the world, for your outpouring of love and support since the news of Uche's death broke. Your prayers, emails, text messages and calls are highly appreciated.
“As the family struggles to come to terms with Uche's passing away, we ask that you be patient in drawing conclusions about the circumstances surrounding his death. Police investigations are still ongoing, while the autopsy results are yet to be released.
“The Okafor family would like to advise everyone, no matter how well-intentioned, to refrain from making unguarded statements about Uche's death. “In the meantime, please continue to remember us in your prayers, so that we can find the strength to deal with the devastating loss
Uche kissed me and said bye-bye – Wife
ReplyDeleteSportsJan 10, 2011
By Onochie Anibeze
Moments after Uche Okafor made inquiries on certain issues of Nigerian football and possibilities of his awaited engagement by the Nigeria Football Federation, the ex Super Eagles star was found hanging in his house at Little Elm in the neighborhood of Plano in Dallas, Texas.
Iroha said that one Nde Onjiaka had called Uche severally on the faithful day and when he did not answer he called the wife, Ify. Ify then wondered why her husband was not picking his calls and called herself.
When he did not also pick she became worried and rushed home from work to find the husband hanging.
When this reporter reached Ify on phone Friday, she cried and shouted loudly.
“Onochie, Uche has left us oooo. Uche has left us ooo.” There was a strong plea for her to try to be strong although that was going to be difficult at that moment. She later calmed down a little bit and said the following: “I left for work early as usual. He kissed me and said bye bye as usual. Later he went to drop Tochukwu (their daughter) at school. That’s what he usually does. It was later in the day that somebody called to tell me that he was not taking his calls and when I called it was the same. I then ran home and on getting home I was calling Daddy, daddy. Nobody answered. I passed the living room and went to our bed room. He was not there. I went upstairs to find him hanging. I shouted. It was shocking and devastating. I just have not been able put it together. The police came and removed his body and took his mobile phone. That is our story, Onochie. Did Uche tell you anything? Why should this happen?”
This reporter informed that we spoke on Thursday about 4pm which should be between 10 to 11 am in Dallas.
“Oh My God! So, at 11 am my husband was still alive? I wish somebody had come earlier. Oh! God what is happening?
On her daughter she said that she had been taken to a friend’s house. Ify’s sister who had called off to stay with her said that her prayers were that whatever led to Uche’s death would be discovered.