Tuesday, April 29, 2014
POLYGAMY LEGALIZED IN KENYA, BRAVO?
Icheoku says finally the government of Kenya now has something to bargain with in the continuing strong-arming and pressuring by the West for Africans to accept homosexuality as a way of life and lifestyle? It is called trade or bargain or inducement and as far as Icheoku is concerned, it is a fair deal. The West will accept Africans' polygamy within their society and in return, Africans will accept West's gaydom and/or sodomy as a lifestyle in Africa? Why not if not; afterall each culture is peculiar and pertinent to the geographical civilization practising it and wishing to export it. So if Party West wants Party Africa to allow some alien and strange culture to be introduced in their midst, Party West MUST as a reciprocity, do the "needful" and also take home Party Africa's own peculiar culture? On this note therefore, Icheoku welcomes the signing into law by the government in Addis Ababa the ability of families to expand as they may deem fit.
Polygamy is a culture indigenous to Africa and our great ancestors practiced this multi-wives based marriage for eons in harmony and successfully until the white-man came and put a knife in a thriving culture, condemned it as "primitive" and subsequently strong-armed its dissuasion and near-disappearance. Icheoku says there is really nothing wrong in a man taking as many wives as he could cater for and such practice has some benefits to it, the sense of entitlement, jealousy and possessiveness of the female specie notwithstanding? In the good olden years, our forebears used such extra hands in the farms for agricultural purposes and as a way to announce their "arrival" as having made it - a measure of their wealth indicated in the many mouths one can feed or a statement as to what a great farmer he is. Presently, some argument could still be made other than agricultural in favor of polygamy and this includes to formally legalize what every Dick Tom and Harry in Africa knows that exists within the African society and even the wider world society - men having mistresses and sometimes children outside wedlock and/or their marriages.
icheoku asks why not formalize this arrangement such that instead of these men sneaking around to meet their mistresses, they can bring them home, introduce them to their wife number one and then manage the relationship in a more conducive atmosphere? Further, demography has proved that there are now more women than men in the world, except in China where female fetal abortions had decimated the female population in their one child policy which sees families preferring male offspring to continue to propagate the family's name, and these leftover women are as much entitled to men too. In some countries, incessant wars have also taken a huge toll on male population thus leaving so many women without eligible suitors; and among African Americans, statistics now shows that the male population is under attack by violent deaths through guns and incarceration such that black American females now have to do with playing "attachments" - husband sharing or stealing some bedtime with other women's men?
In Africa, the trend is the same leading to so many females not being able to find husbands. In India for example, there is such a dearth of marriageable males that eligible spinsters have to pay for such scarce commodity - they bribe men (pay men dowry) to marry them. icheoku says so instead of African females degenerating to such lows like in India, is it not better that men with means and who can support these extra women be allowed to take them into concubinage? Also, Africa is plagued by the HIV/AIDS epidemic and studies has shown that men are usually the vectors of this disease which they contract by sleeping around with sex workers and unfortunately bring it home to infect their innocent wives. So why not allow these men to bring some wholesome women home as wives instead and spread their love in a more safe way and thus help save their wives from this infection as well as other STDs?
Moreso, polygamy will help strengthen the marriage bonds as the women instead of always nagging and fighting their husbands will now turn their attention into winning their affection; they will now have to compete among themselves as to who will win their husbands' heart? Sex as always is often the precursor of many marital problems and a man well satisfied cannot be any happier; and anyone in doubt should tune into any Animal Channel or National Geography Channel or Discovery Channel to see how the Lions in Serengeti Park maintain order, ditto all the other animals. Stories abound also how some wives deprive their husbands sex just to get at them; so with many women around and at his beck and call, wives will instead of wearing tight jeans to bed, will start shopping at Victoria Secret for the sexiest lingerie to woe and seduce their husbands. Nagging will also become a thing of the past as the husband's threat of a "time out" from the bed or rendering marital services will always force such a mouthy wife to zip it? Competition is good and that is what sustains capitalism, so why not introduce it into marriages and watch marital bliss resurrect. icheoku asks which wife will have time to start a quarrel or fight or tongue-lashing when she is aware that her "running-mate" is just within a doorstep away?
Now the other side of the argument, like every right that commands an obligation, ONLY men who can afford it should be allowed to multiply their wives. icheoku says this right to marry multiple wives should include an obligation to satisfactorily provide for them, especially wife number one as well as her children. Even an additional requirement should be incorporated into such marriages of forcing such intending polygamous husband to first get an approval from the older wife before embarking on his journey of finding multiple headaches or required to ask his wife, in a right of first refusal type arrangement, to just bring her sister over as in sororal polygyny. Further, such wife facing an impending husband-sharing should be allowed to have a male playmates if she so desires; because her husband's added payload might be impacting his effective discharge of his marital obligation of conjugal services to her in which case the wife has a recourse to her playmate? It is called fairness and a little here and a little there is not asking for too much as this will be better than empowering the women to go for polyandry as obtains in the Himalayan regions of Tibet or among Bari culture in Venezuela, where a woman can marry two brothers or two male friends just to keep it inside the family or within the friendship? Finally, any wife unable to accommodate such multiple-wives husband should be allowed to divorce the husband with fringe-benefit including alimony and support.
Alternatively open marriage is advised where parties are at liberty to see other people privately; or they can become swingers where couples meet other couples just to burn off steam while exchanging each other's spouse; or polygyny where a husband can take other women BUT without marrying them formally?
Concluding, Icheoku agrees with Kenyan Lawyer Judy Thongori that many African laws including Marriage Acts are long overdue for overhauls. According to her, these laws were made by colonial masters before these countries gained independence and without essentially capturing the value systems indigenous to Africans or they were purposely ignored and left out in order to stifle them or deliberately deemed them obsolete and primitive just to wipe the African civilization slate clean. icheoku maintains that Western monogamy is alien to Africa and it does not matter what feminists females would want anyone to believe otherwise. Also in America, some sects of Mitt Romney's Mormon church or cult still practices polygamy, so why not Africans particularly Kenyans? Icheoku says whatever happens with the Kenyan trail-blazing novelty law legalizing polygamy, it seems that a structured polygamy might be what the doctor ordered and will also prove an interesting culture worthy of revitalising in Africa. It might also down the road, become so attractive that some people might be tempted to retire to Addis Ababa after their sojourn. Simply put, the polygamy law is revolutionary and it is meant to solve so many marital problems including scarcity of eligible husband-materials. Way to go Kenya's Uhuru Kenyatta.